Sunday, December 31, 2006

Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year!!!! I cannot believe another year has gone by. Isn't it funny when you're younger, you just can't wait to grow up? And now that I'm grown up, I realize I should've enjoyed my youth just a little bit more. Not that I'm that old or anything like that. But it is amazing how fast a year can go by without you even realizing it.

Sean and I circa 2003(he's so drunk he's leaning on me for support hahaha)
This year I am spending New Year's Eve at the Grand Hyatt in DC. I have a very hot date with one of my favorite people. Mr. Quinn and I celebrated New Year's Eve like this a few years ago. It was so much fun then, and should be a lot of fun tonight. And this year neither one of us is working the event, which will be even better cause we can just enjoy it. So Happy New Year everyone! Perhaps tomorrow I can catch up on posting my year in review and my week in pictures.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Quick Update

This week has been hella busy at work and after hours. My girl, Shama, is in town and we have been hitting it up like crazy all over town. It never ends! As soon as I get some free time, will post some X-mas pictures and pics from this week too. And as promised, will post my year in review. When I have some down time at work, I'm slowly working on it.

On a side note, I'm very worried about my dog, Pepper. He's sick and we don't think he'll make it to the New Year. My family and I noticed that he wasn't feeling well during Christmas so after the holiday was over, my Mom took him to the vet and it wasn't good news. My poor little guy. I love him so much and I can't bear to think that I could lose him very soon. My heart aches just thinking about it. I asked my Mom not to do anything until I could head over there to see him, which won't be until this Saturday. We obviously don't want him to suffer, but I need to be able to say goodbye to him, if this is going to be it for him. He has another visit tomorrow with the vet, so we'll see what he says about his prognosis. I just hope that Pepper can hold out until I see him on Saturday. My poor little fat dog. I seriously don't know what I'm going to do. I can't deal with losing him right now. I don't want to lose him.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Merry Commercialization of Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope you get to spend this day with your loved ones and remember what Christmas is truly about -- PRESENTS! Hahaha, jk. Seriously I do hope that everyone has a great Christmas filled with lots of love and laughter and merriment. And for those who get to have a White Christmas, enjoy. I can't remember the last time it snowed here for X-mas. Tomorrow will be a balmy 55-60, not quite Christmas weather to me, but will have to do.

A preview: I will write my year in review of 2006. See all of my highlights and lowlights throughout this past year. And what a year its been! Starting off in Thailand, unemployed, to ending the year with a job and hopefully a little wiser from all of my experiences this year. This definitely was a year of looking inside of myself to see what type of person I am and what type of person I look to be.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

On a Side Note pt 2 ...

Its such a nice day that I'm letting Weasley out on the balcony wearing his leash and harness so that he won't jump off the balcony. But the little Fucker keeps scaling the screen door with his claws and he's fucking it up! I would take a picture of it, but then he will think I'm promoting it, which I'm not, so use your imagination.

On another side note, I have company staying with me all next week, which means I need to clean and sterlize my apartment before she comes. This should be fun. Blah.

Christmas Eve Eve

Thank God Christmas is just two days away! Finally we can celebrate the Commercialization of Christmas (new phrase that my co-worker and I came up with) and move on with our lives. Cause seriously, isn’t that really all that we are celebrating? Christmas has become another retail holiday like Valentine’s Day, where people are expected to show their love from one another by how much money they spent on that person.

Case in point; the other day I called my Mother and the first thing she asked me, even before she said “Hello” was, “What have you boughten me?” in that sing-song voice of hers. I responded with, “Greedy! What makes you think I have bought you anything?” And then we both giggle over it all. But seriously, my Mom asked me that. Now I know where I get it.

And I seriously hate shopping for presents, especially for my Mom. She is the pickiest woman in the world and will most likely return about 1/3 of the presents I got her. And I can’t just buy her a gift card even though it’s practical because she thinks they are impersonal. So I’m stuck buying her gifts hoping that she will like them, and always making sure to ask for a gift receipt because she will most likely return it. Le Sigh.

Dad is much easier to shop for. Just look in his closet to see what he needs. And viola, you are done. Bogey and his fiancĂ©, even easier, I just gift card them. My friends and I have stopped giving each other gifts except for Best Friend Ever and I since we are family. Now that we aren’t living together it was a little harder to figure out what she wanted. So that took some time and effort, but I know she really liked what I got her.

So all the presents are bought and accounted for. Now comes the 2nd hassle of wrapping and God help me cause I’m awful at it. But nothing is better on Christmas morning than giving a present to Bear to have him help open it. He loves it, so I do it for him. Wait till you see the pics. So effing cute.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Whose up for some Asshole?

OMG, can I just say that I forgot how much fun it is to sit around a table with a group of close friends and play a lot of rounds of Asshole?! I haven’t played this game since college! Ms. Jones and her roomies threw a Jammie Jam Holiday party where guests had to show up in their jammies for a fun filled night of Christmas movies and drinking games.

What a great idea! Not only do I not have to get dressed up but I get to chill in my jammies while getting drunk. Playing Asshole brought back so many fun-filled memories - the glory days of college and living at the beach. Sadly I couldn’t remember how to play Asshole, but once we played a round, all the competitive juices came roaring back to me. I was only Asshole once! Granted I was never President, but I was Vice President for numerous rounds and that counts for something, cause when I’m President, forget about it, I’m a Dictator and rule with an iron fist.

Once while playing a tournament of Asshole at the beach, I was the resident asshole for so many rounds that at one point I had to wear a beer case on my head like a mask. Freaking Danny made eyeholes and a mouthpiece so that I could see and drink. He paid dearly for that one!

And the rules that we used to make were perfect rules because everyone would break them when drunk. One of our favorite rules was instead of just lifting your beer off the table, you had to drag it to the edge. Not sure whoever came up with that one, but when you’re wasted, that’s a hard rule to remember. There is also the classic no cussing rule, which is again hard to do when you’re drunk cause you’re dropping the F bomb every other word. Aww, memories, so many drunken nights that I barely remember.

So good times and good call on the whole jammie jam party. We all were drunk and celebrating the spirit of Christmas by screaming, “Drink Bitch” and “Take it Bitch” and Stephen complaining that he was too drunk to drink anymore. That’s just sad, Stephen. Shame on you. I even have like three or four pics (seems to be my standard number of pics from events) from that night, which I’ll post later cause I’m too lazy to download them right now.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

On a Side Note ...

Hahahahaha, I'm still laughing. Hahahahaha. Man, I'm in a really good mood. Hahahahaha.

Kitty Play Date

The other night Rachel and I decided to have a kitty play date. We wanted to see if my cat Weasley and her cat Neo would get along. I was very excited for this adventure and Weasley had finally gotten over his cold, so in his kitty crate he went and off to Rachel’s house we go.

BTW, my co-workers teased me incredibly for having a kitty play date. My one co-worker asked if this was a date with a boy, and I responded that Rachel’s boyfriend would be there, so does that count? She just shook her head and said I needed to get out more. Hahaha, if she only knew.

We get there and I let Weasley out and poor Neo just freaks out. He puffs himself up to make himself look bigger and Weasley is whatevs about Neo and just walks around scanning his new surroundings. Weasley could care less that there is another cat in the room with him, and Neo runs under the bed to hide. Pussy.

Instead, Weasley is taking in everything. He goes under the bed at one point to hang out with Neo, gets bored with him, and continues to walk around. Weasley discovers catnip is in the scratch box and proceeds to get high as shit on the box. So freaking hilarious. My poor guy is high as a kite and passed out on the box.

So the cats didn’t exactly get along. I guess they aren’t like dogs where they will play with one another. At least there was no fighting and towards the end of the night, Neo relaxed a little bit around my kitty. He actually came out from under the bed and sorta followed Weasley around with his eyes and made sure Weasley wasn’t trying to take over his casa. The next time they hang out maybe they will have more of some interaction. Weasley had a good time so that made me happy. Next time we are going to switch it up and try it and my place.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


A conversation I had with my friend:

We are getting ready to watch the movie Elf and I am eating my salad from Panera. Earlier we were talking about my non-love of the holiday season (reason we were watching Elf to get me back in the holiday spirit) and my attempts to walk my cat (more to come on that).

Me: I really don't like lettuce. Its just water, you know. I like eating all the extra stuff that comes in the salad, you know, the meat, the egg, the cheese. I like the filler in salad, but not the salad itself.
Friend: You are so backwards!
Me: What!?
Friend: You don't like salad, just all the extra shit in salad. You hate Christmas. And you're trying to walk a cat! I think you're the devil.

At this point I'm laughing hysterically. Probably doesn't seem so funny in print, but if you were there, you'd be laughing too.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Woot, Woot, I went to the Gym

In an effort to raise up my endorphins to battle the holiday blues, and to win the bet I have going with my co-worker on who can lose the most weight before the end of the year (by the way, both of us are losing miserably – I am back to the weight that I started at in the beginning of the bet) I have gone to the gym 2 days in a row. Woot, woot!!! God, I’m picking up Trent-speak.

I need to get myself on a regular schedule of hitting the gym again. Not only am I stressed out about the holidays, but work is extremely busy right now and I’m having my bouts of insomnia cause I can’t shut my mind off at night. I clearly need to go to the gym to work off this excess energy.

And after two days, I can actually feel my mood improving. I’m not as grumpy and while I still wake up throughout the night its more of a restful sleep than the past few nights have been. So let’s see if I can aim to workout 3 days in a row! And can I just say that there are some new hotties at the gym along with some old ones! I love eye-candy, but still haven’t experienced what sweet Jones has. Perhaps if I keep this up I’ll speak with one of them.

Monday, December 11, 2006

I Need a Little Holiday Cheer

I took the day off today to start and hoped to finish all my Christmas shopping. As I’ve mentioned before I’m a bit of a Scrooge. I truly don’t hate Christmas and I don’t hate giving people presents; I just don’t get super excited during this time of year. I don’t feel the holiday cheer and don’t enjoy decorating my place up for the Christmas spirit. I have never seen It’s a Wonderful Life or Miracle on 34th Street, and really don’t care to see either one.

Christmas was never a huge event in my family. We don’t celebrate it for religious purposes. My parents are Buddhists and only celebrated Christmas for the kids. They never told my brother and I about Santa Claus. All of our presents came from Mom and Dad. I never knew who the jolly guy was with the rosy cheeks. The first time I had my picture taken with him, I freaked out cause I had no idea why I was sitting on some random guy’s lap.

We did have a tree growing up, and my while my family did not decorate the outside of the house, my Mom did decorate the inside. As a little kid, I loved Christmas. It was my favorite time of the year. Not only were there presents, but I also had winter break, which was awesome. But as I got older and my brother stopped coming home for Christmas, the fun and excitement of that time gradually began to fade. It became another day in our household. I can’t remember the last time we had a Christmas tree in the house.

There will be some years, where the holiday spirit hits me, and I enjoy this time of year. I mean really enjoy. I’ll get a tree for the house and decorate it and really get into the season. But its been awhile since I’ve felt it. This year especially I could care less for Christmas. I’m just not feeling it this year. Try as I might, its just another stress on top of everything else I have to do.

Usually I love buying presents for my family and friends. And I really put a lot of thought into what I’m going to get them because I really want them to like the gift. But today as I’m walking around the mall I just couldn’t find anything that I liked or thought they would like. It felt more like a chore than any real pleasure of finding presents for people. So after an hour I just gave up and figured I would do it another day when I was in a better mood.

I can’t seem to pull myself out of this Scrooge funk and really would like to enjoy this holiday season.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Holiday Fun

This past Friday was my company’s Holiday Party. It was held at the Clarendon Ballroom in Arlington, VA. My company goes pretty all out for their parties. I was actually really excited for this party. Since I’ve been there since June, I’ve only really gotten to interact with my immediate department, so this was a great opportunity to mingle with the other 600 people who work in my corporate office.

It was open bar with a shitload of food. They even had a mashed potato bar, which is the new thing in catering right now. Once I found out about that, I got even more excited. I love food! There was also a sushi bar, Hot Dog Cart, Mini Chinese To-Go Boxes, Soup Sips, Cheese and Chocolate Display, Soft Taco Station, and Dessert. But alas, I did not get to enjoy any of the food.

As soon as we got there, my friend Minnie and I hit up the bar. And boy did we hit it up. We got there late, so we needed to catch up with all the other drunk people that were out there. And once I found out that top shelf liquor was available through the open bar that was it for me. From there on out I was drinking gray goose and sprite. At one point I think I was double fisting. So bad. And then towards the end of the night my co-workers egged me to take a shot with them. I was so drunk. And all I had to eat was two finger food appetizers. By the time I went to the mashed potato bar it was all done. So upset cause I was so looking forward to it.

And of course I did the biggest sin that night and drunk dialed a certain someone. And of course that certain someone picked up his phone. Aww geez is all I have to say. Stoopid alcohol. At least I didn’t throw up at all that night! But I woke up the next day hungover as shit, regretting what I did. Le sigh. I love open bar and holiday parties.

Here are some pics from that night. Of course I only took like 4 since I was drunk and forgot to bring my camera out towards the end of the night.

Keila and I

Lena and I

Me and Melissa

Minnie and I

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

To the Left, to the left ...

Too be honest, I wasn't too thrilled with Beyonce's new album when it first came out. Deja Vu was a bad knockoff of Crazy in Love. And in Ring the Alarm, all you hear is Beyonce screaming. And can I just say that I hate that video. Beyonce over-acts in all of her videos, but this one was the worst. But then I heard Irreplaceable, and at first, all I really noticed was the beginning and chorus of "To the Left, to the left." And I would find myself humming that part, not realizing what she was referring to, but then I started to really listen to the words, and I was like, shit, this song is hot! And damn, what the hell has Jay-Z been doing to piss her off so much. Either way, I love this song now. "To the left, to the left...."


Here's a treat for all the ladies out there. Thanks Best Friend Ever for showing me this (Only in the Navy). What's really funny is that our friends who were in the Naval Academy used to make videos (not quite like this one) all the time, but that was before Youtube came out. Man, where can I find men with bodies like that?

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Book Report pt 2

Here is my mini-bookreport of the recent books I just read.

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon was a very good read. The book is told through the eyes of an autistic child named Christopher. His neighbor’s dog is found murdered and against his father’s wishes he tries to track down the killer. It was so interesting to see how the mind of an autistic person works and the thoughts that go through their head on a regular basis. It’s so intricate and so honest. While Christopher is investigating the mystery he learns some awful truths about his family. Very good book, I highly recommend it.

From Baghdad With Love by Lt Col Jay Kopelman is a memoir of Kopelman’s tour of duty in Iraq. While over there he finds a puppy in an abandoned building and going against military rules decides to keep the little puppy as a pet and tries to find a way to bring the little guy home. It’s a really touching story of a man finding hope in such appalling circumstances. You get a glimpse into the war in Iraq and see firsthand how devasating and terrifying it is over there. And this little puppy was one of the only things that helped this Marine keep his humanity and his hope alive. I’m a sucker for animal stories and know a lot of people in the armed services so when I saw this book I had to pick it up. It opened my eyes and gave me a better understanding of what is going on over there. Its definitely not a full blown war story, but it does give you some perspective of what goes through a person’s mind in that situation.

My Boyfriend's in Town!

OMG!!!! I am super-dooper excited that JC Chasez of NSYNC fame will be at The Barking Dog this Friday!!! He was my favorite NSYNCER. Damnit, but of course I have my stoopid Company Holiday Party this Friday too. I’m trying to figure out if I can make it to both cause I have to post for a little bit at my Holiday Party and its open bar (dangerous combination – Kim & open bar) so hopefully I’ll be sober enough to drive back up to Bethesda in time to see JC. God, I’m lame.

Speaking of my Holiday Party, can I just say that I love my outfit! And let's hope at this Holiday Party, I won't need anyone to carry me out of the bathroom into their hotel room. Thank God there are no pictures of that one.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Its Finally Here!!!

Can I just say how excited I am about the new Thomas Harris book about Hannibal Lector?!!!!! This is a prequel to how Hannibal became the evil monster that he is today. I have been waiting for this book to come out ever since I heard he was going to write about Lector. Hannibal Lector is maybe one of most favorite characters in literature. He's so complex and Harris always writes him as as evil soul and yet you really enjoy his character and feel empathy for him. Lector is the anti-hero that you root for. I cannot wait to read this!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

A Preview

It has been crazy busy at work, and all those days of not doing anything is finally catching up to me. I knew I should've been more productive instead of catching up on the celebrity gossip of Britney and K-Fed, now known as Fed-Ex. I love it! So after working 8 hours straight (unfreakingbelieveable) I am too pooped to blog.

But here are some topics that I will eventually cover when I get some proper sleep and have some time to actually breathe:

  • Hanging out with my old highschool friends over Thanksgiving weekend. Some of those peeps I haven't seen since I graduated and its crazy how some things just never change. And how some people grew up to be pretty darn good looking. I feel a mini-crush developing! Here's a pic of my friend Lisa and I. And you can kinda see my new hair-cut in this pic.
  • My bookreport on The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and From Baghdad with Love.
  • My attempts to walk my cat Weasley. I swear I have the best cat ever! He's more dog-like than cat. Such a sweetheart and is finally getting over his cold.
  • How my back is so fucked up and I finally went to see a chiropractor and she agreed with me. Basically the base of my spine is tilting in the wrong direction and my right shoulder is raised higher than my left. I was having massive chronic back pain.
  • The holidays are coming upon us, and I truly am a Scrouge and have never gotten into the holiday spirit, and highly doubt I ever will. actually dread this time of the year.

We'll see if I ever cover these topics.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

What is this?

As promised here are some pictures of my dog Pepper and his fat ass.

OMG, what is that? How in God's name did his ass get that big? It's just not natural! It's like he has two huge Christmas hams just sitting on top of his little chicken legs. Seriously, this is not a dog, more like a mammoth cow that sorta of looks like a dog. I need to get a picture of his profile cause then you'll see how far out his ass sticks out from the rest of his body. Its unreal.

And of course my Mother doesn't think there is anything wrong with him. She blames his huge weight on his slow metabolism and scoffs at the idea that she should cut back on his food. She says that he is already eating diet food and I remind her that he also gets table scraps on top of that. I mean, I think this Thanksgiving, he actually ate the entire turkey since we had so many leftovers. Poor little guy, I'm not really sure how his legs support him, but they do.

My Thanksgiving Dinner

I hope everyone had a really good Thanksgiving and ate a lot of good food. I know I did. This year my family had a low key Thanksgiving. Instead of inviting all of their friends over, we decided to just have it be the three of us. My Mom was too lazy to host a party, and I also asked her not to have a big she-bang cause I too wasn’t up for entertaining people. It was different, kinda quiet, but also nice to just chill out with my parents. We watched a lot of movies and just hung out. Not sure if my Mom will want it to be like this next year, but it was nice for me this year.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!!! I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday. Enjoy the turkey and the food coma that follows.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Bookworm at Heart

I have a serious problem - an addiction really. Its quite bad and I promised myself I would stop doing it. And yet tonight I started to get antsy and I found myself doing it. Even when I’m at work, I find myself thinking about it; I’m even looking it up on-line. And all you perverts out there I am not talking about porn or masturbation, I’m talking about my addiction to buying books! Some women have a shoe habit, some have a purse habit, I have a book habit.

I even tried going to the library to rent books to curb my craving of buying books. And I was able to rent four books from the library. I’m currently reading two of them right now, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and I am Charlotte Simmons, but I just can’t get into them. The Curious Incident of the Dog isn’t too bad, but I read about 70 or so pages of Charlotte Simmons and had to put it down. Something about getting books at the library isn’t as satisfying as buying books.

Maybe it’s the way the library is set up. There aren’t any fancy displays and sometimes the library doesn’t have the newest books. The library doesn’t have any comfy places where you can sit and read or a Starbucks within the store so that you can enjoy a nice cup of coffee while you read. I try to make a list of books I want to read or authors I like so that when I go to the library I can browse for them. But its not the same as being in a store where I can purchase the books and actually get to keep them. And the stores just have so much variety of books, while the library is limited on their selection. Sometimes when I’m at the bookstore, I try and write down author’s names or titles of books so that I will remember to look for them the next time I’m at the library.

The worst part about me buying books is that I rarely pick up the book again to re-read it. I usually end up donating the books to the library after I’m done with it. There are only a handful of books that I can read over and over again. And some books I will keep regardless of whether or not I’ll read them again just because I like them or think that maybe in the future I will read it again.

It’s a vicious cycle and I need to stop. But on a bright note, I just bought From Baghdad with Love by Lieutenant Colonel Jay Kopelman and Eragon by Christopher Paolini. The first book is about a Marine in Iraq and he finds a puppy and against all odds decides to keep the puppy and somehow send it back to the US. The second book is written by a home-schooled 15 years old and kinda has the feel of The Lord of the Rings. I can’t wait to start reading them.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Bah Humbug

Yay! Its another survey from my girl Jones. Too bad I’m a Scrouge and I don’t believe it’s the most wonderful time of the year. But here goes anyways.

1) Eggnog or hot chocolate? Hot Chocolate
2) Does Santa wrap the presents or just sit under the tree? I prefer them wrapped, but I don't know how to wrap presents so I usually ask Best Friend Ever to wrap them for me
3) Colored lights on tree/house or white? Colored lights on the tree. We never decorated the house.
4) Do you hang misteltoe? That would require decorating
5) When do you put your decorations up? See above answer. There's a reason I'm not Suzy Homemaker.
6) What is your favorite holiday dish? Mom makes a delicious roast pork with applesauce and potatos
7) Favorite holiday memory as a child? Sitting by the fireplace playing with my new toys (kinda lame, but honestly can't think of anything in particular)
8) When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I actually never believed in Santa. My parents never told me about him. During present time, they just said the presents were from them. The first time I took my picture with him, I was scared shitless cause I had no idea who this man was.
9) Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Nope. The rents make me suffer until the actual day.
10) How do you decorate your Christmas tree? We no longer get a Christmas tree, but when we used to our tree was an assortement of shit - ornaments, colored balls, lights, and sometimes tinsel. No matching for us.
11) Snow! Love it or dread it? Nothing better than a white Christmas
12) Can you ice skate? Barely.
13) Do you remember your favorite gift? Either my Super Nintendo or my 1st bicycle
14) What's the most important thing about the holidays for you? Presents, duh! My politically correct answer is spending time with the family.
15) What is your favorite holiday desert? Lisa's grandma's twisters or Lisa's Mom's crack cookies (almond cookies)
16) What is your favorite holiday tradition? Watching Titantic cause it reminds me of Christmas cause its cold.
17) What tops your tree? It used to be this weird puppet thing that was supposed to be Rudolph.
18) Which do you prefer giving or receiving? The politcally correct answer is giving, but for me its receiving. Except I do love watching the dogs open their presents, and I let Bear help me open mine.
19) What is your favorite Christmas song? "Last Christmas" by George Michael or "The Hula Hoop" song by the Chipmunks
20) Candy canes! Yuck or yum? Eh, whatevs
21) What's number one on your holiday list this year? A new mattress and The Little Mermaid on DVD

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


The other night I was able to watch EuroTrip which stars Michele Tranchtenberg of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame (ah, I miss Buffy, I wish FX would play repeats again). The rest of the actors were no-names, and I don’t believe I have seen them in anything since this movie.

EuroTrip ranks along with Super Troopers as being one of those stupid movies that’s has no real plot or point, and you’re only job is to laugh throughout the movie. This movie follows Michele and the other guys on their adventures through Europe. Some of the shit they get themselves into is pretty funny. I think my favorite part is when that guy (I really don’t remember any of the character’s names and I don’t care to look them up) gets into a fight with a mime-robot. Its classic. Another great scene is when they are in Eastern Europe and the club and are drinking absinthe.

Actually my favorite part is Matt Damon's random cameo in this movie. He’s the lead singer of a band at a graduation party and sings the song “Scotty Doesn’t Know” (oh that’s the main character’s name – Scotty), which is a really catchy song and I find myself humming it all the time. Good times.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Bored Out of My Mind

Blah. I don’t know if it’s this time of the year when everything is dead and its dark outside before I even leave work, but I have been feeling very blah. Everyday it’s the same old thing: get up for work, go to work, perhaps do some work, fuck around on the internet, go home, eat dinner, go to sleep and do it all over again the next day. This monotonous pattern is driving me nuts right now. I’m so bored of it and am longing for some sort of change.

Maybe if I loved my job, I wouldn’t hate going into work every day. And I can’t say that I hate my job because I don’t, but I’m not in love with what I do either. I don’t get excited every day to come into work to analyze contracts and create quotes. And I shouldn’t complain because I get paid well to do what I do. It afforded me to buy my new car and to live on my own without a roommate, and it’s a steady paying job and I have great benefits. So I really shouldn’t whine or complain when there are tons of people out there who don’t have a job.

But I know that this is not what I want to do with the rest of my life. The big question is what do I want to do? What is my passion? What is my calling? And sadly, I have no clue. I know I would like to go back to school to get my Masters, but again, what would I get my Masters in? Because I don’t want to randomly go and get an MBA and then not use it. I want to get my Masters in something that will help advance my career. And that’s the problem right there. I currently have a job, not a career.

So everything is very repetitive and tedious right now. I know that as humans, we tend to like having a schedule and pattern to our every day lives. But my every day life is making me feel trapped and suffocated. And usually when I start to feel like this, I tend to make stupid decisions to try and spice up my life, which always ends up getting me into all sorts of trouble. So I’m trying to resist that terrible bad habit of mine and drone through the days of boredom. Maybe I should embrace the fact that my life has no real drama right now. But the temptation to get into trouble right now is so strong, it’s almost hard to ignore. Le sigh.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

That Kid

I'm experiencing blogger's-block and seriously can't think of any interesting topics to dicuss or whine about. Life has gotten back into a monotonous pattern again, which I sometimes enjoy, but currently I really hate right now. I probably could turn this into a post, but I'm kinda lazy right now.

Instead here are some pictures from my past weekend with Best Friend Ever and Julian. The kid has finally stopped calling me "That Girl" probably cause I stopped calling him "That Kid."

The little bugger is crossing his eyes.

Of course for Aunt BFE he takes a nice picture

What a poser.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Meet the Kids

I realized that after I posted pictures of Weasley, I have never posted pictures of Pepper and Bear. Meet the rest of my family. They are my love bugs! I need to get a hobby, seriously, someone find me a hobby.

Meet Mister Bear (or as my Mom spells it B-A-R-E, and that is when I have to remind her that Bear is named after the animal)

This is Pepper aka Fat Dog. He's pleasantly plump.

Bear's coming in for smooches. He loves to smooch.

Fat Dog loves spending his days on the couch, hence why he's so fat.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

The Man of My Dreams

I just finished reading The Man of My Dreams by Curtis Sittenfeld. I thought it was going to be one of those light breezy chick-lit reads, but it wasn’t. When I first started to read this book, I couldn’t decide if I liked it or not. I guess since I was expecting it to be a chick-lit novel, I was at first disappointed by it and then the more I read it the more I really disliked the book. But I decided to stick with the book and read it to the end.

I still can’t decide if I liked this book or not. The book is about a character named Hannah, and it follows her through critical years of her life - first as a teenager, then in college, and then in her early 20’s. Hannah is very critical of those around her and has a very sour outlook on life. The more and more I read this book; the more I hated Hannah and everything that she represented. I finally realized why I didn’t like Hannah – she reminds me of me.

I’m not as bitter as Hannah is (or at least I hope I don’t come off like that) and I hope that I’m not as critical as she is, but there are parts of her that I could really relate to. Hannah is definitely a Debbie Downer and has such a hard time looking at things from other people’s perspective, which I know I tend to do a lot. I tend to look at the world in my own eyes without really thinking about someone else’s perspective. She is very insecure and questions everything about herself and questions the motives of those around her. During those parts, I wanted to gauge my eyes out because it got really repetitive, but was also very realistic to a person’s train of thought. I know that I have my bouts where I question myself and question those around me, but I felt Hannah was so extreme about it. She can’t accept simple gestures and when people are being nice to her. It got extremely annoying.

So not sure how I would rate this book. It’s definitely not chick-lit though.

Crazy Cat Lady Begins

It is official! I am the proud owner of a cat. I am now Crazy Cat Lady! This past Thursday, I was able to bring home my new dependent, Weasley. I named him after the Weasley Family from Harry Potter, since he’s a redhead. I wanted him to have a name from literature.

I’m not really a cat person. I’ve always grown up with dogs all my life, and generally speaking I don’t really like cats. But ever since I’ve been living by myself I have wanted a pet, and my apartment doesn’t allow us to have dogs, and I really can’t devote the time and energy into taking care of a dog, so I figured the next best thing would be a cat. So I went to my local Humane Society and found the sweetest kitty there.

The minute Weasley sat in my lap, he just started to purr and was so content to be there. So I filled out an application for him and now he’s all mine. He’s such a love bug. Weasley follows me around the apartment like a dog, and loves nothing more than to just sit in my lap and sleep while I’m watching TV or typing on the computer. He also loves to sleep next to me at night and only wakes up once a night.

I love having a pet again. And I feel good about adopting a homeless animal from the shelter. Its just scary to think that I now have a dependent, I can barely take care of myself. So yes, the episodes of Crazy Cat Lady start now. It should be a good ride, and I think Weasley enjoys me, so we’re good to go. And I swear, I'm not going to go back and get like 20 more cats. Not yet anyways.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

50 Questions - if you don't count the missing questions

1) What is your occupation? Maintenance Renewal Analyst (don’t ask me to explain cause I wouldn’t be able to)
2) What color are your socks right now? Not wearing socks, having hot flashes
3) What are you listening to right now? My ipod and the song playing is Ne-yo’s “So Sick”
4) What was the last thing you ate? Burrito bol from Chiptole
5) Can you drive a stick? Yes, I think its very unattractive when a person can’t
6) If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Red-Hot Lady
7) Last person you spoke to on the phone. Best Friend Ever
8) Do you like the person who sent this to you? Jones is the bestest
9) How old are you today? 26 ¾
10) Favorite drink. Coke
11) What is your favorite sport to watch? I don’t normally watch sports unless its March Madness
12) Have you ever dyed your hair? On numerous occasions, but I’m done for awhile cause I feel my hair needs a break and I’ve come to love my natural hair color. I’m the only asian girl with black hair!
13) Pets. I have the lovely Bear and Pepper at my parents house and tomorrow I will be the proud owner of a cat, which I will call Weasley. More about him later.
14) Favorite Food. Brownies
15) What was the last movie you watched? The Virgin Suicides, ehhh, not that great
16) Favorite day of the year. That’s easy, duh, my birthday!
17) What do you do to vent anger? I either go driving, yell at someone, smoke a cigarette, and lastly go work out.
18) What was your favorite toy as a child? Barbie and I made my Barbie a lesbian
19) What is your favorite fall or spring? Both. I love when the air is crisp and the leaves start to change color. And I love when it starts to get warmer and all the flowers start to bloom.
20) Hugs or kisses. Again, both. Nothing is better than a huge bear hug followed by a slow deep kiss.
21) Cherry or blueberry. Cherry
22) Current living situation. I live by myself in a two bedroom, but will soon have a new roommate named Weasley.
23) 24) 25) no questions
26) When was the last time you cried? Sunday night after an unpleasant e-mail exchange.
27) What is on the floor of your closet? Which closet? I have many therefore the answer could vary
28) no question
29) What did you do last night? Jack shit. I was in bed before my beloved Nip/Tuck and was actually awake when it came on, but was too lazy to head back out to the living room
30) Favorite smell. Fresh cotton or honeysuckle
31) What inspires you? BFE and all that she has already accomplished.
32) What are you afraid of? Ghosts and my own insecurities
33) Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers. Cheesey beef
34) Favorite Car. My pretty ice blue baby
35) Favorite Dog Breed. Beagles, Weimaraners, and Boston Terriers
36) Number of keys on your key ring. 5
37) How many years at your current job? Umm, 5 months
38) Favorite day of the week. Any day that I don’t have to go to work
39) How many states have you lived in? 2
40) Favorite Holiday. I thought I already answered that question. My b-day and then Thanksgiving
41) Ever driven a motorcycle or heavy machinery? No, but I’ve ridden on the back of a motorcycle
42) Favorite color. Blue
43) Favorite number. 3
44) Favorite vacation spot. Any place that has a beach and is tropical
45) Favorite team. My Maryland Turtles
46) Favorite Actor. Sarah Michelle Gellar
47) Favorite hobby. Reading
48) Beach or mountains. Beach
49) Rather sing or dance. Dance, helps release the tension
50) Last question: glad its over or do you want more? I always want more!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Dinner Time

I actually cooked dinner last night! I made chicken parmigiana with a combo of angel hair pasta and fettuccine or was that linguine? But is it really considered cooking when everything I made was already pre-cooked? I brought pre-cooked breaded chicken and figured I could probably do something with them. The brilliant idea of chicken parmigiana came into my head and since I was having a friend over for dinner, I thought why not.

All I had to do was stick the chicken in the oven. It cooked for 15 minutes and then I added cheese on top and viola, dinner was served. I warmed up some spaghetti sauce and warmed up some dinner rolls (some of them burned). It turned out to be a pretty decent meal. So I didn’t actually make anything from scratch – at least I made some dinner. I think the last time I attempted to make a meal was about a month and a half ago. I’m going to try and cook at least once a week. I need to put my cooking classes to good use.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Scary Times

Last night a bunch of my friends and I went to Markoff's Haunted Forest. And I have to agree with Ms. Jones analysis of our evening. If we didn’t have to wait for 2 ½ hours to get into the forest and pay $20 for it and if it was just a bit warmer out, than the night could’ve been a lot better. As haunted forests go, it still scared the crap out of me.

Best Friend Ever and I were in the back of the group and everyone in front of us was speeding through the little set ups. Her and I were clutching on to each other so we were just prime victims for the staff. They would come behind us and grab us or follow us while BFE and I tried desperately to catch up with the others. I kept screaming, “Wait up for us! Guys slow down!” I think the man with the chainsaw scared me the most. At one point I heard him behind us, and I grabbed BFE’s arm and started running. I was like we need to get the fuck out of here.

Halloween has never been a big holiday for me. Even as a little kid growing up I never really got that excited for Halloween. So this was something different to do instead of going to a party or the city and getting dressed up.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Fuck You

So much for not being the bitter, angry ex-girlfriend. After last night’s incident I am now that girl. Thanks for being such a pussy and dropping my keys off and picking up all your shit when I wasn’t home. Glad to know that you cannot be a real man about the situation and face me. Glad to know that our relationship meant that much to you that you couldn’t even give me a proper goodbye. I didn’t want to be angry or bitter at you, but after that display of cowardice and immaturity I have every right now.

Well you know what, fuck you asshole! If you are going to act like a fucking child, than I really have nothing more to say to you. You are such a coward and I can’t believe it has taken me this long to realize it. After last night I could care less if you fell off the face of this Earth. You no longer exist to me and I wish I could erase all memories of you. You don’t deserve me. You never have and you never will. So run away like you always do fuck face. The door is closed and I am never opening it to you again. You are such a little bitch and I am no longer wasting anymore time on your sorry ass.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I Got Fives

Five things I would do if I were a millionaire:

  • Quit my job in a heartbeat!
  • Buy my dream house that has a wrap around porch. Kinda like the house that Ryan Gosling built in The Notebook.
  • Help my brother start up the restaurant that him and his fiance want to open up.
  • Go to all the exotic locations that I have always wanted to visit.
  • Invest the money so that it will continue to accumulate.

Five bad habits:

  • Picking at the dry skin on the heels of my feet. I know its gross.
  • Interrupting people as they are talking.
  • Biting my nails.
  • Not listening to people when they are talking to me.
  • Always wanting things to go my way, but I don't really consider that a bad habit, but I'm sure other people do.

Five things I hate doing:

  • Getting up in the morning to go to work.
  • Cleaning.
  • Cooking.
  • Motivating myself to go to the gym.
  • Packing and unpacking.

Five things I would never do:

  • Get a perm again. I did it when I was 11 and I swear my hair has never been the same since then.
  • Become a vegetarian. I love meat way too much to ever give it up.
  • Get back into sales.
  • Read another book by Anita Shreve. All her books are the same and I can predict what's going to happen next.
  • Sit in a cemetary by myself.

Five things I regret doing:

  • In my first year of college I stayed with my high school boyfriend and I didn't really get to experience the whole living at college life and making a bunch of new friends thing.
  • I should cleaned my frog tank before I killed my frogs. Poor things, they didn't stand a chance living with me.
  • When I quit my job, I wish I hadn't taken 6 months off because I really drained my bank account and now wish I had gotten a new job sooner.
  • I wish I had listened to my parents and taken piano lessons when I was younger.
  • Getting into the whole beanie baby craze. I was obsessed and now have a bunch of beanie babies.

My five favorite objects:

  • My new car! She's so pretty and I still haven't named her.
  • My i-pod. I take her with me all the time.
  • My traveling coffee mug. I'm a coffee snob and hate the shit they have at work.
  • My flat iron.
  • My cellphone.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Book Reports

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold was such a good read. This book is about a girl named Susie Salmon who was murdered and is now in heaven looking at her family and friends and seeing how they cope with her murder. Each member in her family handles her murder in their own separate hell and instead of leaning on each other for support the murder seems to rip the family apart. And poor Susie can only watch the repercussions.

Sebold’s view of heaven and death is that every person has their own personal heaven and that heaven is always changing and evolving as that person grows into their death. The dead are always with us, watching us live our lives; some people such as Susie tend to watch more than others. And by no means is this a scary ghost story where it will creep you out.

It’s a compelling story about life, love and death. It’s about a family struggling to gain control over their lives after their devastating lost and how one cruel vicious act can turn your world upside down. Susie struggles to accept her death and the life that she will never get to live and it’s so sad to see her experience moments through her younger sister and brother.

I really want to read Sebold’s Lucky: A Memoir, which is about her own rape and the outcome following it including her addiction to heroin. I hear it’s a very raw and emotional read, and she wrote that before she delved into fiction, so I am curious to see if there are any parallels between her own experience and Susie’s. But that will be for another time.

I also just finished reading The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella. After reading a few very emotional driven novels, I needed some good old chick-lit. I actually hate this new wave of chick-lit because I feel that the stories are dumb-downed and only driven by plot, not real character depth, but another day to rant on that subject. Sophie Kinsella is one of the few authors in that genre that I really enjoy.

The Undomestic Goddess is pretty much how it sounds. Samantha Sweeting is an attorney who is over-worked and completely stressed out. She discovers that she made a huge error that could cost her client $50 million pounds (I can’t find the Pound symbol anywhere). She has a mental breakdown and ends up in the English countryside as a housekeeper.

And of course by the title, Samantha has no idea how to be a housekeeper. She doesn’t even know how to hoover (in the states we call it vacuum) or iron. Hell, I can hoover and iron, but I think I need a new iron. It doesn’t seem to be working properly and its brand-new too! Stoopid iron. Eventually Samantha learns all that she needs to know to become a good housekeeper and realizes that she does not want her old life back as a stressed out lawyer.
I can actually really relate to Samantha. Around this time last year I was in a job that I hated and almost drove myself to panic attacks and nervous breakdowns every other day. I hated it and once I quit my job, I felt this huge sigh of relief and the tension in my shoulders disappeared. I realized that no job is worth making your life miserable for and you need to do what makes you happy. Now if only I could find a job that I really enjoy. And again, another day on that topic.

Saturday, October 21, 2006


Hahahaha, I should be cleaning my shithole of an apartment but instead I'm playing with blogger templates. Hahahahahaha. Man, I need to clean. Okay, I'm putting on my rubber gloves and will become Suzy Homemaker now. If I don't surface for a few hours, send for a search team.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Instant Karma

My roommate bought me this book Instant Karma awhile ago, and I just found it again on my bookshelf. Here are some of the little advice/sayings that I liked and highlighted:

  • Imagine living your life without being afraid to take risk
  • Become more peaceful with where you are in life
  • Have control over your thoughts to have control over your speech
  • Only here and now can you truly love -- the past is a memory, the future is a fantasy
  • Recognize and value your mistakes
  • Be comfortable with your body -- you will exude confidence and beauty
  • Be true to yourself
  • Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own thoughts
  • Your experience is what you do with what happens to you
  • Acknowledge your weakness
  • Live each day for itself
  • Mend your broken heart
  • When you like someone tell them
  • Don't try to plan every minute of your day.
  • Let yourself feel things
  • Sometimes not getting what you want is the best thing for you
  • Let go of past sorrows as well as anxieties about the future
  • Look for contentment from within
  • Appreciate the silence of close friendship
  • Master your past in the present or the past will master your future
  • Love someone for who and what they are, without conditions
  • Open yourself to feelings instead of pushing them away
  • In silence, start to hear you own true voice
  • Look at your life like a creative process
  • Take time to dream
  • Surrender to the now
  • Know that every moment is unrepeatable and scared
  • Nothing can bring you peace but yourself
  • You create your reality with your thoughts and intentions
  • Stop rushing around, sit quietly, switch off the world, and come back to the earth
  • Accept yourself as you are, right now
  • Stop searching for happiness in someone else
  • Love can only exist in the present moment
  • Have a reputation for spunk
  • Be happy with what you have while working for what you want
  • Strive most to understand what you fear most
  • Take responsibility for what you do

Its nice to flip through this book every now and then.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Asshole at the Grocery Store

I really hate when you’re standing in the self-checkout line at the grocery store, and some asshole in front of you has a cart full of groceries. I think the common etiquette for the self-check out line should be 15 items or less. If you have a cart full of shit, then you should have the curtsey to go to a line that has a clerk. Instead this asshole goes to self-check out and holds up the line because once that little bagging area gets full, it won’t allow you to scan any items until you clear the bagging area. So this mother fucker had to stop occasionally to bag up his shit and then go back to continue scanning the rest of his stuff. What a dickwad! I seriously could’ve stabbed this asshole. I looked behind me and the line started to go back down the grocery store aisle. That idiot needs a good kicking in the pants.

Sunday, October 15, 2006


Isn’t it amazing how life can spiral out of control so fast? You can smell it in the air, sense its oncoming approach and yet as hard as you try to hold onto those you hold dear into your heart, you can’t stop the inevitable from happening. I could feel it, I saw the signs and I tried to calm myself, tried to tell myself that I was overreacting, but my gut instinct was telling me that it was over again.

For a month, my ex and I tried to work on our relationship. I was hoping we wouldn’t have the same outcome as last time. I wish we could’ve tried harder and put more effort into fixing what was wrong before. I wish he trusted me enough to open up to me, to let me in and communicate what he wanted out of this. But some things are easier said than done. And I’m not going to put the blame on him and say that it was all his fault. I was involved and I know what I did on my end that caused our relationship to end.

I’m not going to walk away like last time being so angry and bitter at him and at me. I’ve cried too many tears for him in the past and I refuse to do it again. I really do want to walk away from this not being angry, just more self aware of what I want out of a relationship and know what I deserve out of a relationship.

Sometimes it all just boils down to timing, but I don’t think that was necessarily our case. Maybe we aren’t ready to give each other what we need right now, but I’m not sure if that has to do with timing or our personalities and who we fundamentally are. Some people just aren’t meant to be together regardless of the situation. Maybe that’s him and I. I’ll never know all the answers to the questions that are floating around in my head.

I really do hope that eventually him and I can talk on a mature and rational level. I want nothing but the best for him. I hope he finds happiness in the next phase of his life. Throughout everything, he has always been a great friend to me and I know that I’ll miss that friendship more than anything.

And even though it ended this way, I don’t regret getting back together with him. I don’t regret that moment when we both decided to be together again and that feeling I got when I woke up next to him. I don’t regret looking into his eyes and feeling this warmth radiate from them. I don’t regret feeling the way I do when I’m with him. I remember one night, looking over at him while he was sleeping and knowing how uncertain our future was, and all I thought was this is worth it even if its just for this one moment, its all been worth it.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


In one of my rambling depressed states I wrote this train of consciousness. Reading it reminds me of what I wanted at that particular moment in time. I think I still want a lot of those things that I wrote. I’m at a crossroads again in my relationship and I need to look deep inside of me and decide what do I really want out of this. What do I want out of him? What do I want for myself? I need to remember that feeling I had when I first wrote this.

I want to get lost again. I want to lose myself in someone and forget about the world around me. I want to feel what its like to be in love, the dizziness, the spinning, the barely breathing. I want to jump into the depths of uncertainty and float around. I don’t want my feet to touch the ground.

I want a love that will stand the test of time. I want to meet someone who will make me believe. I want to stare into someone’s eyes and know that that is where I belong. I want to be in his arms and feel that nothing can harm me as long as he doesn’t let go. I want a storybook romance. I want to live happily ever after.

I want to know what everyone keeps talking about. I want a love that is full of passion and tests the limits of insanity. I want our bodies to be on fire every time we touch. I want to be in a blissfully sweet dream and never wake up. I want someone to hold my hand. I want someone to fight for me. I want to be with someone whom I can build my life with. I want someone who brings out the best in me.

I want balance; I want stability. I want to love him more than life itself. I want to feel whole when I’m with him. I want to make him smile. I want to be protected and cherished. I want to be able to say nothing at all. I want to feel something that words cannot describe.

I want to be with someone whom I can’t live without. I want him to star in my every waking thought. I want to fall in love at first sight. I want my heart to race and feel butterflies in my stomach every time he smiles at me. I want my prince charming to ride up on his horse and rescue me from myself. I want to make beautiful children with him.

I want a partner, someone I can share my deepest secrets with. I want him to see the worst in me and still stand by my side. I want him to love me for all that I am and for all that I can be. I want him to be my every thing. I want trust; I want honesty. I want to be with someone who will make me become less selfish. I want someone who will be strong for me when I cannot be strong for myself.

I want to know that he is all I’ve ever wanted. I want every kiss to feel like the first. I want our hearts to beat as one. I want to throw caution to the wind and ride the sweet storm until the end. I want to feel his heartbeat beneath my ear as I lay on top of him. I want to spend my every waking moment with him.

I want to look at him fifty years from now and know that our love has only grown stronger. I want someone who loves my idiosyncrasies and believes they are cute. I want someone who won’t be afraid to say no to me. I want to be on fire and ice all at the same time. I want to remember what it feels like to have a crush again.

But most of all, I just want to believe that somewhere out there is someone who is perfect for me, and when I finally meet him, I’ll just know. I’ll just know by the way he looks at me, and by the way he makes me feel. And I won’t be scared, and I won’t run from it. I want to be happy and content and not second guess everything.


Yay! My parents are coming home tonight! Yay! My parents are coming home tonight! No more babysitting! I'll finally be able to sleep in my own bed again. Yay!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Worst "Non-Date" Ever

I promised my friend I wasn’t going to write about my “non-date” with him, but looking back at it, I just can’t resist. I invited my friend, which I’ll call E, out to the movies on Saturday night. E and I have never done the movie thing. We usually just go out for dinners. I really wanted to see The Departed (great movie, you need to go see it) and thought it would be fun to take E with me. Big mistake!

I go pick up E and things are fine until he starts pulling out packages and packages of bubble gum. He kept unwrapping each piece and started shoving them into his mouth. E’s at least nice enough to ask me if I want some, but I decline. I swear he has shoved five pieces of Bubblicious into his mouth. And once they lost its flavor in five minutes, he spits it out and shoved more gum into his mouth. I’m like, what is wrong with you. We’re almost at the theater when E tells me he can’t find the gum he’s spit out. I gave him the death stare where my eyes are bugging, and the vein in my forehead starts to throb. We are in my brand new car, and this kid may have lost his wad of gum on my new leather seats. I could’ve stabbed him right there. I tell him that he better find the gum before it gets all over my seat or he will never be allowed to ride in my car again. Thankfully he finds the gum and gets to keep his head for one more day.

As we are walking up to the theater, E proceeded to ask what movie we are going to see. I tell him The Departed, and he’s like, can we go see Jackass 2 instead. Again, I just give him The Look. Of course we aren’t going to see Jackass 2; I told him a zillion times already that we are going to see The Departed. He’s asks what’s this movie even about. Already I was dreading my decision to bring him to this movie.

I bought E his ticket to the movie and he tells me that he’ll buy my popcorn and cherry iccie. I’m thinking that’s a fair enough deal. We get to the concession stand and E says I only have $10. Argh! He gives me the $10 and I pay the difference. I look at him and tell him that he’s lucky this isn’t a real date because he’s making a very bad impression.

We sit down and actually start talking about how this is the worst “non-date” ever. I agree and tell him that this is the first and last time we ever do this. And he complains that he is always going out on dates with girls that have boyfriends. I laugh so hard at this one because it’s so true. But remember this isn’t really a date.

I forgot that E has really bad ADD and cannot sit still longer than five minutes. This movie is at least 2.5 hours long. Towards the end of it, he starts to fidget and check his phone every ten minutes to see what time it is. He also decides to keep whispering to me, why isn’t this movie over yet, this movie is too long. I really wanted to punch him, or at least shove a sock in his mouth to shut him up. I just kept gritting my teeth and told him to stop talking. Seriously, never doing this again with him.

That was probably the worst “non-date” ever. I am thankful that E and I are not really dating cause if we were, I might’ve killed him by now. And E, you know as I write this, that I’m only half joking about it all and that I do adore you and our friendship. I just think we need to stick to just doing dinners as our form of friendship.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Adventures in Babysitting

My parents are visiting my brother in Oakland right now, so I am babysitting all the animals. God help us all. They left early Thursday morning, and I have been alone with the dogs and bird since then. So far they are all still alive and I am counting down the minutes till my parents come home Tuesday night. To prepare me for taking care of the animals, my Mother made a list for me. Here it is:

Feed Pepper & Bear

½ cup in the morning (Bear and Pepper has their own food)
2 of ¾ cup at night with slices of turkey. My dogs are spoiled and cannot eat just plain dog food. They will actually just look at a bowl of plain dog food, sniff it, scoff at it, and then walk away.

Important: Please check and clean his back (behind) every time when he comes in the house after he poo poo. She is referring to my dog Pepper. A job that sucks, but must be done because sometimes his shit is running and gets all over himself. Lovely.

For Pepper
: 1 and ¼ tablet on Thursday and Monday night before you give him a dinner (wrapping a pill w/meat)

For Bear: 1 tablet of thyroids pills, 3 tablets of Medrol every morning. Bear has thyroid problems and allergies. I know, I know.

1 spoon of his food every morning and bird gravel. The left over give to the bird outside.

Please change a newspaper at night time, and water if dirty.

Cover his cage at night and uncover the cage in the morning. I like how she bolded that part cause she thinks I will leave his cage covered up all day.

For the Bird Outside: 4 cups every morning. The bird seed in the container in the garage.

Call me if you have any questions. Thanks Baby.

These notes were added to the list and handwritten.

Fill the bowl of water under my sink’s bedroom.
Take trash out on Tuesday and Friday.
Close the gate at dinning room and living room.

It was great. That Wednesday night I was over at my parent’s house and my Mom just kept quizzing me and showing me where she kept everything for the dogs. As she is showing me Pepper’s medication, I ask, “So he gets these pills every night?” She screams, “Noooo! Only on Thursdays and Mondays. I have it in bold on the list! You’re going to OD him.” And then she just gives me this withering look of distrust and malice. She then says, “Have you been paying attention to anything?” All night she kept giving me that look, and now she’s all worried that I won’t do a good job of taking care of the babies.

The first morning went off without a hitch. I fed the dogs their breakfast, which they refused to eat so I had to give them slices of bread instead. I made the one mistake of forgetting to put my things up on higher ground where Bear can’t reach it. Bear has this problem of chewing anything left within his reach. Especially things that are soft. He for some reason loves toilet paper, and will eat the toilet paper off the roll, so my parents no longer keep toilet paper on the roll in the bathroom and instead place it on top of the toilet. I had brought over a new bag of overnight pads and forgot to put them away. When I came home, I went upstairs to change and found that Bear had eaten all of them except for three! I am screaming at him, “Why would you do that? What is wrong with you? Am I going to have to take you to the hospital now to pump your stomach or will this just come out naturally?” Freaking Mutt. I have no idea why he does this.

That has been the only really big incident. My parents have called me everyday to check in on the dogs to make sure they are still alive. They say they miss me, but that’s complete bullshit. They just don’t trust me alone with the dogs and bird.

I really do love my dogs; I just forgot how much work it is to take care of them. I forgot how needy they are and how they really are almost like kids. I feel like I have to constantly entertain them and make sure they aren’t missing my parents too much. I know they will be ecstatic when they come. I know I will be.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Stop Being Such A Worry Wart

Today at work I almost had a panic attack. Just lovely. Luckily, if you want to call it that, I’ve come close to having one before so I know how to recognize the signs. I could actually feel the anxiety building last night. To counter attack it I went to the gym to run the anxiety down or my body down so that I could actually get some sleep. It sorta worked, I was exhausted, but when it was time to go to sleep I just couldn’t do it. I was tossing and turning and I could feel the tension building. My hands were balled into fists; partly cause I was so frustrated and partly cause I was trying to keep the anxiety in. My whole right shoulder started to stiffen up and by that point I had a pounding headache. I eventually fell asleep but I woke up with a pinched nerve in my shoulder blade from all the tension.

I woke up feeling a little better. It’s a new day, new problems to tackle. Around lunch time I had a surge of anxiety rush me. I started to feel claustrophobic like the walls were caving in on me. I was breathing in short gasps and my hands were shaking. I knew that if I didn’t do something soon I was going to have a full-blown panic attack at my desk. I needed to get out and breathe. I needed to do something besides sit there and let the anxiety overpower me. I grabbed the keys and drove, and that really helped a lot.

I know why I’m having anxiety. I’m just not sure yet on what’s the best way to deal with it. I’ve always been a perpetual worrier and I need to learn that there are things in my life that I cannot control and instead of worrying about those things I need to embrace what I have right here right now. I need to stop looking so far into my future and focus on enjoying the life I have now.

The True Loves of My Life

For those of you who have ever owned a pet or are an avid animal lover then you need to read Marley and Me by John Grogan. It’s a loveable tale of a family and their crazed manic dog Marley. Marley was a terror to behold as a puppy and as he grew into adulthood he still had plenty of antics left in him. But his family still loved him despite all of his faults and they came to admire his tenacity for life and his ability to love so freely. I breezed through this book in about two weeks. I would lie in bed at night and I would not want to put this book down. It’s a touching story that I could relate to because in my household we were always surrounded by dogs. I literally laughed out loud during some chapters because at least one of my dogs has committed the same crimes that Marley did. At the end of the story, I cried my eyes out remembering each passing of my babies.

After reading this book, I started to think about how blessed I am to have had unconditional love from all the dogs that graced my life. First there was OC. By the time I met OC he was an adult, settled into his mid-life and no longer the wild puppy that grew up with my brother. By the way OC stands for Out of Control. OC was such a sweet tempered dog. He did not have a mean bone in his body and was so polite and generous to all. He was so smart too. He could roll over, sit up and shake paws on command. OC was definitely my Brother’s dog. They grew up together from when my Brother was just a toddler. I was always jealous that my Brother had his own dog.

On my 7th birthday, I finally got my wish and got a dog of my own. Best Friend Ever had just gotten a puppy, but unfortunately for her, her Mom was allergic to him. So as my birthday present, BFE and her family gave me Coco. Coco was about 6 months old and the most arrogant Beagle-mix I had ever met. But I was so excited to finally have my own dog. I still remember that birthday party like it was yesterday. BFE comes through the door and the first thing I ask is “Where is my present (like the selfish little girl that I still am)?” And her Mom replied, “Coco is your present.” I screamed for my Mom saying, “I got a dog!” at the top of my lungs.

While OC was calm and collect, Coco was brash and arrogant. He looked around at his new digs and you could almost see the gleam in his eyes like he hit the jackpot. Talk about a dog that had airs. Like a typical Beagle, Coco was so stubborn. Never listened to a word we said to him, and only came to us when he felt like it. And poor OC was settling into retirement and now had to deal with this guy. Coco used to grab OC by the tail and just drag him around. And sweet OC let him. OC loved Coco as much as Coco loved OC.

OC died when I was 11 years old. In his old age he could no longer climb the stairs and my Dad would have to carry him to bed. He also started to get seizures. My parents didn’t want him to suffer anymore so they made the decision to put him to sleep. My brother during this time was away at college. I remember saying goodbye to OC and crying as my Dad took him to the vet. He was the first person with whom I loved dearly that died. I remember going to Coco for comfort and rejoicing in the fact that I still had him.

Just when we got used to having one dog in the house again, my Dad goes out and get two little puppies. The Twins as I like to refer to them came into my life when I was 13 years old. They were six weeks old and cute as pie. I fell in love with them the minute I laid eyes on them. One puppy was white with brown spots, while the other was white with black spots. We named them Brownie and Pepper. Talk about a handful. Even though they were twins, Pepper and Brownie were complete opposites of one another. Pepper was the brave one, nothing scared this little guy and he was always eating. Brownie was shyer, a little more timid than his outgoing brother. I remember Pepper used to chase Brownie around with an old beaten up plastic baseball bat. They loved that game.

Now it was Coco’s turn to be the old man. He took it well. But I know at times he was jealous at all the attention the two newest members of our family got. Coco was still top dog though. All he had to do was give the Puppies his Don’t Bother Me Stare and they would cower away from him. But Coco also loved playing with them. Brownie idolized Coco and would sit there and lick the inside of his ear. It was such a fun time to have puppies in the house. It’s amazing how fast they grow.

We were a happy family with 3 dogs in our lives and then came Bear. My Brother’s friend had found this dog left behind at a rest stop, and my Brother took him in. Bogey says that he was not allowed to have dogs in his place, but I think he just didn’t realize how much work it would take. So he dumped Bear on us. Man, the other dogs were not happy about this one. Bear was almost an adult, so he wasn’t scared of Coco’s mean glare and thought the Twins were harmless. If one of the dogs pissed off Bear, he would let them know by attacking him. One fight was so bad that poor Coco had to get stitches on his ear cause it was ripped up.

Bear slept in my room cause the other dogs wouldn’t let him in my Mom’s. Because of that bond of sleeping with me, Bear trusted me completely. He’s very head sensitive and doesn’t like other people touching him on his head, but he’ll gladly let me. I soon came to think of Bear as my dog.

As typical with the Beagle breed, Coco developed a heart condition. His heart was basically swelling in size. The night Coco died my Dad and I was watching The Perfect Storm (to this day, I cannot watch that movie). Coco kept whining to come up on the couch. I picked him up and put him behind me. I looked back a moment later, and he was gone. It looked like he was sleeping, but he was no longer breathing. My heart broke. My little Butterball left me. We laid him down on the floor, and I cried lying right next to him, holding him close to my heart. My proud Beagle with the chicken chest was gone.

The house seemed so quiet without Coco there, even though we still had 3 dogs. Coco was the ringleader of the group. The one to stir the others into a barking frenzy. A few years after that, it was Brownie’s turn to go. My quiet shy little guy had kidney failure. We tried everything we could to stop him from fading away, even giving him dialysis treatments to help his kidneys work properly. It wasn’t working. All of our dogs are great eaters and tend to be on the heavy side, and Brownie was wasting away to nothing. We knew we couldn’t keep torturing him like this. We were just being selfish. Out of the Puppies, I’ve always favored Brownie. Pepper was a Mama’s boy and always followed my Mom around. But Brownie loved me. Even as an adult, he still loved to climb into my lap to take a nap or to just be petted. He would sit in my lap look up at me and then smile. I spent my last day with Brownie letting him sleep one last time in my lap. At the vet’s office, when the Dr. injected Brownie it happened instantly. My baby boy with the beautiful brown eyes was meeting his hero Coco again. I was devastated. I always thought that the Twins would grow old together and now poor Puppy was all by himself.

So now my household is down to two dogs. Its Fat Dog (Pepper) and Broken Dog (Bear) as I like to fondly call them. You can see the age showing on both of them. Especially Fat Dog. He has blossomed to 50 pounds and let me remind you that he is supposed to be a small sized dog. And in his old age he’s even more attached to my Mom, even whining for her when she’s outside and he’s in. Bear still loves to play hide and seek with me and giving me smooches on demand. I have loved these dogs with all my heart and will continue to do so even when they are all gone. To this day I still have dreams about OC, Coco and Brownie. I feel like it’s my way of keeping them close to me and in each dream I’m so happy to get to see them one more time. I am truly lucky to have had them in my life and I will cherish my memories of them.

Monday, October 02, 2006

My New Car!

This weekend I got myself a new baby. Yes, that’s right folks. I have found something that I love more than my Bear. Hell, I found something that I love more than myself! I just bought myself a brand new 2006 Acura TSX!!! I’m absolutely in love with her. She is ice blue and has that new car smell that I love. Her interior is this gorgeous smoky gray. Not only does she come with XM Satellite radio, but she also has a Navigation system that I can talk to! I can even have it talk to me in a male or female voice depending on my choice. Not only does she have heated seats, but also dual temperature control, where the passenger can control their side of the car if they don’t agree with how I have it set. This car is amazing, and I’m in love.

As I wrote earlier, my Ethel was on her last legs. She needed a new clutch and had a host of other problems, and it just wasn’t worth it to invest anymore money into her. So I began the chore of test-driving vehicles. I first started off at the Honda dealership. I was going to appease my Father and test drive the new Civic, all the while knowing that I would never get that and really wanted the new Accord. And I have to say the Civic handled well, but it wasn’t really what I was looking for nor what I really wanted. And the Honda Accord handled superbly. That was settled for me. I was going to get the Honda Accord.

But in the back of my mind, I really wanted the Acura. I came to terms that at this point in my life I cannot afford the TL, and I really didn’t need that nice of a car. But I thought, why not try the TSX. So I went to my local dealer to test-drive the TSX, and it was love at first sight. It’s a little smaller than the Accord, but handles 10x better. It still has that sporty car feel, but also the luxury of a mid-size sedan. And the car comes fully loaded with features that are standard on it (except for the Navigation) while on other vehicles you’d have to pay extra. After that test-drive I knew I wanted that car. Now it was only a matter of convincing my Father.

I know, I’m 26 and a grown ass adult. But to my Father, I am still his little girl, and he thought the Civic was more suited for me. He was putting money for the down payment. But I interject that this was money owed to me that I had never collected on. I had to remind my Father that I am a grown woman and that in the end I would be the one making the monthly payments and would be driving the car so really it should be my choice in the end. So I did the pre-emptive strive and started e-mailing different dealerships to get their costs. And from there I negotiated the price I wanted. My Dad started to do more and more research on my car, and he finally admitted that he liked it and thought it was a good automobile.

So this weekend we went out and bought my new car. I am so excited. This is my first major purchase. This is my first car in my own name. It is tremendously exciting for me. Now I just need to think of a name for her. I’m all open for suggestions.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Yay For the End of the Quarter!

Sorry I have been neglecting my three readers. Its been a busy week and by the time I get home to sit and write, I am pooped. I haven’t even gone to the gym since last week, and I’m trying desperately to win a bet to lose some weight. And my goal to cook once a week hasn’t happened either. I already sensed on Monday that I was going to be too tired and lazy to cook, so when I hit the grocery store, I bought a week worth of Celeste Pizza’s – Zesty Four Cheese (Thanks Rachel, you inspired me!)

It’s the end of the quarter at work, which is our crunch time to get all of our renewals in. At the beginning of this month, I was at 36% renewed, which is horrendous. Through some crafty phone skills and pleading and begging with my clients I was able to jump to 73% by the middle of last week. And after that stroke of luck I am now at 91%. Not bad for this being the first time I’m ever doing this. Since I surpassed my goal of 90%, I am rewarding myself with a nice massage. Hell, I was going to reward myself with that anyways once the quarter was over, but this just makes it extra special.

So sorry to my three readers for neglecting you this week. I know some of you depend on me for a little bit of entertainment to get you through your day. And can I just say that I’m going to miss Ms. Rachel while she is vacation in Africa for 10 whole days! Who am I going to g-mail chat with for two weeks? Kiah, that means you need to sign on more often and amuse me. Does that mean I’m going to actually have to do work in the next couple of weeks? I shudder to think of that. I will strive to survive, but it’s going to be a long 10 days without my pal. Have fun in Africa Rachel. Take lots of pictures of lions and elephants for me. Try not to get malaria.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

The Time Traveler's Wife

I just finished reading The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. In my earlier post I mentioned how I was currently reading this book and how good it was. After finishing this book, I still cried at the end even though I knew what was going to happen. (I really am going to work on reading a book from beginning to end and not skipping ahead because I am robbing myself of the experience to just let the plot develop naturally.)

I really enjoyed this book and found the story to be satisfying and fulfilling. The book is about a man named Henry who has the ability to time travel. I know you’re thinking science fiction, lame, but it’s not a science fiction novel. This novel looks at time and how our future, past and present is always interconnected with us and how time is always constant. Niffenegger explains Henry’s ability to time travel as a genetic disorder, which I sometimes feel isn’t satisfactory enough, but then the story would be about how he is what he is and not about his life.

Henry cannot control when he is going to time travel or where to. He usually travels to the past and to places that he has been to, and occasionally he travels to his future. This is where things can get confusing. As an adult he time travels and meets his wife, Clare, when she is a child. But remember, he is currently married to her in his present. (This is where the whole concept of time travel boggles my mind and I can’t quite wrap my mind around this phenomenon because I then feel like there are multiple dimensions or parallels, however you want to look at it. But I don’t believe Niffenegger views time in that way, and just believes that time is continuous and it’s all connected.) So he meets his wife as a young girl and you see how their relationship develops through the course of time.

It’s a very moving story and looks at true love through a different perspective. Does Clare fall in love with Henry because she knows that in her future he’s her husband or was it only natural for Clare to fall in love with Henry because time put the two of them together? When Clare and Henry finally meet in his present, he does not know who she is, while she has known him all her life. She is already in love with him and has been waiting for the day for them to finally meet and he is just learning who she is. Here there relationship develops all over again as Henry falls in love with Clare.

I love how this story jumps back and forth between times. It can get confusing, but it all makes sense in the end. Niffenegger also tells the story between Henry and Clare’s point of view, which I think is interesting also. It enables the reader to see different perspectives over the same incident. I love how she uses time as a character in itself. All Henry wants is to be able to stay in his present and not be an interloper throughout time. Henry makes an interesting point about how he only has free will in the present and he doesn’t have free will when he is time traveling. Even when he knows his future, he does nothing to change or alter it because its done, it has already happened.

This is a great book and I encourage others who like to think on another level to read it. Cause this book will definitely force you to think.