Thursday, May 31, 2007
John is an enlisted soldier in the Army and during his leave he meets and falls in love with Savannah. Neither John nor Savannah was expecting this, but from the moment they met, both were drawn into one another. In a span of two weeks, both have declared their love with Savannah promising to wait for John to get out of the military (he is stationed in Germany).
During his time overseas, John and Savannah communicate by writing letters, phone calls, and e-mails. He visits her on his next leave where they solidify their relationship and commitment to each other. John has a little less than a year to go.
Then September 11 happens, and their world as they know it changes. Instead of leaving the Army, John re-enlist to fight for his country. Although Savannah is disappointed, she understands his reasons and is proud of him, but it doesn’t make it any easier for her. Her excitement of finally starting their life together soon begins to fade.
Until one day, Savannah sends him a Dear John letter explaining that she has fallen in love with someone else and can no longer continue her relationship with John. She is extremely sorry and never meant for it to happen, and wants him to know that she truly loved him. John is of course angry and upset.
Years go by before John sees Savannah again. His Father has passed away and in his mourning, he drives out to see her. Throughout their years apart, John has remained in love with Savannah and longs to see her face again. He’s not really sure what drives him to seek her out, but he finds himself standing before her.
We find out that Savannah is now married and her husband is sick in the hospital, dying of skin cancer. Through their interaction, it’s quite clear that both John and Savannah are still deeply in love with one another. But Savannah also loves her husband, but not in the same passionate way that she loves John.
John makes the hardest decision to walk away from Savannah and secretly donates a huge sum of money so that her husband can get the proper treatment he deserves. As John states,
“You’re married to Tim, and your husband needs you. All of you. There’s no room for me, and we both know there shouldn’t be. I love you, Savannah, and I always will … You’re always going to be the very best part of me. I’m sorry it has to be this way, but I have to leave, and you have to see your husband.”
He walks away from her to give her the life that she deserves and the life that he could never provide for her. John comes to the realization that true love means caring for another person’s happiness more than your own, and he’s willing to sacrifice his happiness for Savannah’s.
By this point I’m completely sobbing that I can barely make out the words on the page. Damn you Sparks, you did it again. I’m not sure if I agree with this ending and I’m definitely not happy with it. But I’ve always been selfish and am not sure if I could walk away like that. If I were John, I would’ve stayed and waited since her husband was on his deathbed.
It’s so tragic to me because they really loved each other and fate just kept them apart. Even at the end of this book, you know that Savannah still loves him as much as he loves her, but because of the choices that they have both made they cannot be together. I ache for them. I ache for their sadness and for the love they feel towards each other. I felt heartbroken after I finished this book.
Sparks does such a great job at taking you on an emotional roller coaster. One minute you’re feeling butterflies and tingles, the next your crushed when you read Savannah’s break up later, next you feel the nervous anticipation as John and Savannah set eyes upon each other for the first time in years. I went through it all with this book, but I still would’ve preferred them to have a happy ever after.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Saturday night I took my cousins and their friend to Apex, a gay club in DC. My friend Kiah came along for the ride. I never offered to take my cousins out before because I honestly didn’t think they wanted to go out and didn’t seem like the type that likes clubs or bars. I think the main reason they wanted to go out was because they had a friend in town, who likes to party. I was actually nervous cause I kept thinking, “What if my cousins are closeted freaks? OMG, I will die if that’s the case.”
It turns out my cousins aren’t closeted freaks, and I think Kiah and I had a better time than they did. We danced our asses off and gawked at all the gorgeous men. Such a shame too; so many beautiful men and none wanted anything to do with us. I felt like the roles were reversed. Usually when I go to a club, men will try to creep up behind you and start dancing with you. I liken them to vultures. This time I felt like I was a vulture, trying to sneak up on a guy so I could get my freak on. At least I could dance unabashedly and not worry about some boy trying to grab me inappropriately.
Sunday was Gwen’s wedding. The wedding ceremony was so beautiful. It was outside and it was performed right before a huge thunderstorm. It wasn’t too hot and since a storm was coming, there was a nice breeze in the air. Gwen looked so beautiful and her husband, Mike, had a smile on his face the entire time. Their friend officiated the wedding, and told fun stories about the couple, which made it that much more intimate. It took Gwen and Mike seven long years to make it to the altar, but well worth the wait.
Her cake was stunning. She made it herself and pictures do not do it justice. Each flower on that cake is handmade and hand-painted. The flowers match the flowers in her bouquet. Gwen spent days up to the wedding making all the flowers for it. I didn’t want them to cut the cake; it was too pretty. It tasted great too.
The reception was lots of fun. Not as fun as Sylvia’s, but still a good time. The DJ played a lot of oldies and swing music. Gwen and Mike are big into swing dancing, and apparently all of their friends are too. Everyone was on the dance floor, swinging around. The clumsy girl that I am cannot partake in coordinated dancing, or dancing where someone leads me. I stumble and trip over my own two feet and just feel plain stupid out there. I am much better dancing on my own, shaking my hips.
Gwen and Mike looked so happy. Both were beaming all throughout the night. I am so happy that they have made it to this point in their lives. Gwen deserves nothing but the best, and Mike is truly her perfect match.
I am such a sucker for weddings. I love them. I love seeing two people committing themselves to one another in front of their family and friends. I love seeing the bride aglow with happiness and the groom standing tall with pride as she walks down the aisle. I love witnessing the couple’s first dance as they gaze tenderly into each other’s eyes, lost to the world around them. It’s such a cherished moment and I’m always glad to be a part of it. What can I say, deep down, I'm a hopeless romantic.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
It takes so much hard work and dedication, and never once did Michelle falter. Soon she will be moving to North Carolina where she will be stationed at Camp Lejune working in Pediatrics, and perhaps a stint as a flight surgeon. I know that she will be a fabulous doctor; she has such a warm heart.
Our other friend, Katherine, also received her Doctorate. After seeing all these people with Dr’s in front of their names, kinda makes me want to have Dr in front of mine. Who am I kidding? I can barely talk myself into going back to school for a Masters, there is no way in hell that I would get a PH.D on top of that. Sidenote – BFE already has her PHD in neuroscience and in two years will have her MD. Can we say overachiever much?
After we saw Michelle walk across the stage, BFE and I had to leave to go to Sylvia’s wedding ceremony. Sylvia and her husband, Navin, are both Army Dr’s (see a trend going on here) and decided to have a military wedding. The bride looked absolutely stunning in her wedding finery and Navin looked so handsome in his uniform.
BFE and I sat right behind the family pew, and Sylvia’s nieces and nephews were hilarious. I was paying more attention to the kids than I was to the ceremony. They provided endless entertainment. The parents were constantly feeding the kids sugar to bribe them to behave. I seriously had to bite my lips several times to keep from laughing out loud. At one point, two of the kids got in a fight over a lollipop. Too funny.
During the reciting of their vows, the priest turned off the mic so that the guests couldn’t hear. I thought that was a bit odd. I wonder what they were saying. Maybe their vows were inappropriate like, “Sylvia, do you promise not to smack Navin when he doesn’t do the dishes?” or “Navin, do you promise to always be there for Sylvia, even when she balloons like a whale during pregnancy?” Besides that one part, the ceremony was beautiful and the couple looked so happy.
After the ceremony, there was a two hour break until the reception. That gave me enough time to go home, grab my bag, and pick up my car for my trip to West Virginia.
The reception was fantabulous!!! One of the best weddings I have been to in a long time. BFE and I got sat at the fun singles table where we soon became the drunk obnoxious table. I had to get my drink on early since I knew I would eventually have to drive, so I took full advantage of the open bar during cocktail hour. Our table was awesome. The conversation flowed easily, jokes and gently ribbing were being told, and everyone was having a grand old time.
The music was great. BFE and I were one of the first people on the dance floor. We were those girls. Soon after, everyone followed, and it was like we were in da club (I’m so gangsta). The dance floor was packed, which is exactly how I want my wedding to be. I want everyone dancing and having a good time. And clearly at Sylvia’s wedding, we all were. I finally take a break from the dancing, look at my phone and realize that its 10:30pm!!! I have missed calls from Kiah, and text messages from Stephen. All of them are asking where am I and when will I be in West Virginia. Crap!!! I need to get out of here before it gets any later. And I really don’t want to leave the fun party.
I felt bad for leaving so abruptly. I didn’t really say goodbye to anyone cause I knew it would take another hour to do that. There was this guy at my table, who was definitely interested in me and I could tell that he was about to ask for my number, but I just left. I believe Sylvia has now given it to him. We shall see if he calls me. He was very nice and is an Army Dr, and Asian. I have never dated a nice guy or an Asian. Like I said, we’ll see if he calls. It can’t hurt to go on a few dates.
Ok, so my car has a navigation system, which I love BTW. My problem is, sometimes I don’t listen to it when it tells me to do something. I’ll be driving along, and she’ll give me a direction, and I’ll look at it and say, “Were you talking to me?” and miss my turn. Sadly, I’ve done this numerous times. And when you’re driving in DC, it can be even more confusing, cause she will say, “Make the next right turn” but there will be three right turns and I’m never sure which one she means. Needless to say it took me forever and a day before I found the fucking GW Parkway. After awhile I stopped listening to her and just kept driving towards the river cause I figured eventually one of these roads had to take me there.
The drive to West Virginia wasn’t that bad. After I finally made my way out of DC, I actually listened to the Navi system and got there in record time. It helped that I was speeding the entire way and there were not other cars out on the road. I made it at a reasonable hour of 2am. By that point, everyone else was pretty drunk and I missed the fun times. Oh well.
On Sunday, I went white water rafting. My friend Kiah planned the trip for us. It was me, her, Stephen, Lamont, Brian, Chelsea and Jodi. We were a bit out of control. Brian nicknamed our raft “The Miller Light Express.” (I hate Miller Light, more of a Bud Light girl – if I’m drinking cheap beer) You could tell that our guide, Old Buddy Brent was like, WTF did I get myself into.
This was my first time rafting and I had an amazing experience. I must admit I was a bit nervous going down class V rapids (the highest class there is), but it wasn’t that bad at all. We went down the Cheat River Canyon, which was breathtakingly beautiful. We went down a 12 mile stretch where we encountered a bunch of class III-V rapids. From the get-go, we were that group of loud obnoxious people. Kinda like my table at the wedding. Immediately we started screaming, “Shake NNNNN Bake” (if you haven’t seen Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, you must watch). I bet the other groups hated us.
Surprisingly, I only fell in once. It was at the rapid called “The Fist” cause it pounds you. It happened so fast. One minute I was in the raft, the next I felt myself falling into the water. There was nothing I could do to stop it. Apparently the whole side of my raft fell, including our guide, Old Buddy, who was on the other side. Somehow Kiah managed to stay in.
I remembered getting sucked under, and I was holding onto the paddle, cause this place is cheap and won’t let you get back on the bus unless you have your freaking paddle. I looked up, and saw the white foam above me, meaning I was directly under a rapid. I let go of the paddle, since it only seemed to be pulling me down, and let the current take me downstream. After being under for about 15 seconds, I pop back up in front of our raft. I swim towards it and Brian helps me back in. It wasn’t that scary. I’ve been in far worst situations in the ocean where I got slammed to the ocean floor and couldn’t resurface because waves after waves kept coming in. Now that was scary.
So I survived my first class V rapid and from there it was smooth sailing. At least for me. Poor Lamont fell in 3 different times. After The Fist, we were known as the Swim Team, which we accepted with pride. I swear, I think we were the only group that was having a good time. Everyone else seemed so stoic, and here we were cheering after we completed each rapid or cheering as we went through a rapid. Our guide Buddy was loving us. He even started screaming, “Shake NNNN Bake”, sometimes even starting it up.
White water rafting was so much fun and I can’t wait till I do it again. It was such a rush and it felt fantastic whenever we had a clean run through a rapid. We worked well as a team, and we didn’t completely capsize our raft like another group. Man, they looked scarred after it happened. Our guide, Buddy, was amazing, and made the experience so enjoyable. He would always tell us what to expect from each rapid, so we went in with no surprises.
In closing, even though this weekend was crazy busy, I had a blasty blast. Graduation was fun, and can’t wait for two years from now, when it will be BFE's turn to walk across that stage. The wedding was so much fun and I’m not sure if Gwen’s wedding this weekend can top it. White water rafting was phenomenal! I’m so glad that I did it.
If you want to read Kiah’s perspective of the events, then click.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
David begins to have episodes where he blacks out and sees flashes of another world. Soon the books in his room begin to speak to him, trying desperately to gain his attention and tell their stories. At night sometimes, David also hears the voice of his Mother calling him. She sounds like she is in pain and needs his help.
As David’s anger and resentment grows, so does the voice of his mother until she calls him one night to go to the sunken garden to find her. There in the garden, David is sucked into another realm. He is trapped in this other world, with no way back, but is determined to find his mother and bring her home.
Once David is in this world, he finds similarities between the stories that he loves to read so much. He meets a Woodsman, and a pack of wolves whose leader is half man/half wolf and who wish to destroy the King and kill David. His only hope for returning to his home is finding the King and asking for assistance before its too late.
In this other world, David also meets some classic fairytales, but with a twist. The characters aren’t quite as noble or honest and not all the endings are happy. He learns that not all is as it seems and to rely on his own instincts and courage to find the truth. David must let go of his rage and bitterness towards his new family for him to ever return home alive.
This is a classic coming of age story, and what I really liked about it is how Connolly combined favorite fairytales into the story. I liked all the different stories that David encountered and the spin that Connolly gave them. I also enjoyed David's progression from young boy to becoming a man. He faces some difficult challenges and instead of letting fear take over or taking the easy way out, he confronts these problems head on.
As Connolly wrote, “Stories were different, though: they came alive in the telling … Once someone started to read them, they could begin to change. They could take root in the imagination, and transform the reader.” Stories do come alive when you read them, they work their magic in your mind and you can be lost for days within one.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Here is a clip from when Jane Fonda was a guest. She plops right down on his lap and I am so freaking jealous. You could tell that Stephen had no clue what to do with himself. During parts of it, he is trying to regain control of the situation, and in other parts, he is just rolling with it and having a good time.
Some of my favorite lines from this encounter:
"I like to see a woman who believes violence is the answer."
"That is a firm leg. What do you keep adjusting over there?"
This from Jane, "We cannot elect men to office that are afraid of premature evacuation." - the look on his face is priceless.
"Please join us again, bring a friend."
Its funny how you can build something in your head, almost to the point where you are living it and it seems so wonderful and so grand, but then you wake up and it’s not quite what you had pictured. In fact, it’s so far gone from what you had imagined. Somewhere in the back of your head, you almost expected this outcome, but was just wishing for a different ending. I just kept thinking, maybe this time it will be different, maybe my chance has finally come.
It’s hard to lower expectations because of course you want the best for yourself. You don’t want to think that you’re not going to get what you desire, so instead you allow yourself to be optimistic. It’s very frustrating when you keep getting disappointed over and over again; especially when you should know better. And I know better. I know better on both counts and need to not fall back into the trap.
This year for Mom’s Day, I got my mother 2 sets of placemats. In typical Mom fashion, she can’t just have ordinary placemats, she wants fancy ones. The placemats that she wants have a hard finish with some type of artwork on the top and a cork bottom. The ones she currently has are old and getting worn out.
And of course I couldn’t find these placemats anywhere. I looked in all the standard department stores, but all they had were cloth placemats. I even looked on-line at places like Pier 1 and Crate and Barrel and still no luck. I was really banking on getting her them too because I couldn’t think of anything else that she wanted/needed.
Finally inspiration struck and I remembered there is this store called English Trading Company in Tysons that sells English stuff. For some reason, I believe these placemats are English, and viola I was correct! So the store had the placemats that I was looking for. A set of 4 placemats cost $40 bones, which is a bit redic if you ask me. Stupid import rate. The lady better put them to good use and not complain about her gift.
But in all seriousness; thank you Mom for being such a great mother and for doing such a great job raising me. I know that I have not made it easy on you at times and we have had numerous battles to the death. Through all the fights, I know how much you love me and am so glad that you are my Mother. I love you Mom.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Saturday, May 05, 2007
It’s a problem I have always had, even as a child. There were times where I would stay up all night, tossing and turning anxious over things I had no control of and worrying what would happen. It can be so tiring and exhausting on a soul and I feel like it ages me and wipes me out completely. And as much as I try not to obsess over something, I can’t help me; it’s so ingrained in who I am and I can’t break the cycle.
I have tried various ways to curb some of this nervous energy, but nothing truly works. I work out to stay fit, and to kick up my endorphins, but even after the workout my mind is still running. I read to escape, but something from the story will pull me out of it and my thoughts return to what is plaguing me. I write hoping to pour my emotions out, but I find myself re-reading each sentence, sucking me back into that moment that I’m longing to flee.
I have never been a person who can just live in the moment and enjoy it. I always wonder and worry where the future will take me, and its silly because I have no idea what could happen to me next year, let alone tomorrow. I try to sit back and take in the moment, but I constantly find myself thinking about what I need to do next.
I have gotten a little better. Just a few years ago, I was a constant time checker. I always had to know what time it was and I would figure out how many hours I had until I had to be somewhere or do something. I couldn’t just relax; I was always aware of the time and the fact that there never was enough time. I always seemed to be racing against the clock. When I quit my last job and took six months off, I vowed never to let the clock control me. And I’ve done fairly well with not stressing over the minutes in the day. Sometimes I catch myself looking at the clock, thinking of what I need to get done in the next 5 minutes and I remind myself to breathe.
I need to remember that life isn’t about the destination, but the journey that takes us there. Because those are where the real moments are. The days you spend with your friends laughing and crying, leaning on each other for support. The family dinners where you know you’re always welcome and it feels like home. Even the days when nothing seems to go right and you just want to call it quits, those are the days that encompass this game that we call life and the future will be there when it gets there. I need to not fast forward ten years into my life of what I think it should be because who knows where this life will take me. Maybe what I want right now isn’t what I need ten years from now. Maybe that isn’t where destiny is going to take me and instead I’ll follow another path.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Ok, so I have been slacking with some posts, partly because I’ve been lazy, but also because I haven’t been able to come up with anything interesting. So here’s a look into all the random thoughts that come across my head at any given moment.
- You know its bad when you’re able to recognize area codes and detect what regions they are from. For example, 972 is Dallas, and the first thoughts that pop into my head is, “WTF does Dallas want now!”. 734 (Detroit) is home to one of my dumbest AE’s, and every time I see that area code, I start to cringe and can only fathom what stupid question he’ll begin to ask me. 901 (Memphis) might be my least favorite cause not only does it have another clueless AE, but also one of my worst clients. I really wish my phone had a button where I could just forward all calls to voicemail.
- I had to show my cousin how to use a tampon. She has never used one before and had no idea how to use one. Apparently no one in Thailand uses them because of back-assward thinking that tampons are dirty and something along the lines of virginity. Another difference between our cultures. That is like the craziest thing I ever heard. Its just a freaking tampon, you will still be a virgin if you insert it in you.
- Why the hell am I torturing myself by working out when all I really want to do is flop my ass on the couch with mounds and mounds of potato skins smothered in cheese, bacon and sour cream?
- Seriously, why do I care how I look in a bikini? Its not like I’m getting laid anytime soon, I have no one to impress and have no reason for getting naked.
- Where the hell can I buy the comic book for season 8 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? How awesome is it that Joss Whedon has decided to resurrect Buffy in comic book form! Man, they should bring this show back on-air. SMG is so hot and I miss seeing her on the small screen.
- How the hell are all my weekends booked up for the month of May? I’m really not that popular and yet I am. Ugh, two of those weekends are weddings, one of which I am dreading to go to. But I hear the other one may have a mashed potato bar! It better or I’m going to give the bride a piece of my mind.
- Folks, I have now added grilled cheese to the list of items that I cannot cook. Making grilled cheese is not as easy as it looks. I was able to burn both sides of the bread, while not being able to melt the cheese. Umm, huh? Not quite sure how that happened, but I had to throw it away.
- The new Rhianna/Jay-Z song “Umbrella” sucks cock. Especially the line, “I can be your umbrella, ella, ella.” And of course that is the line that always gets stuck in my head. Why the fuck is she comparing herself to an umbrella? Couldn’t she have picked a better metaphor?
- I should not be left to my own devices because then this happens. In my defense…In my defense…Crap, I don’t have a good defense. Sorry Weasley
- It is so hot outside, which isn’t helping with my hot flashes. I think I’m going through menopause. It’s a bit out of control how often I am getting these hot flashes. Nothing is helping, not me gulping gallons of water or taking ice cold showers.
- I’m really sick of people who complain about the same shit over and over again. Unless you do something about it to make a positive change in your life, than I really don’t have time to hear you bitch and moan. It’s getting kind of old.
- I’m also sick of people who put no effort into our friendship. I understand everyone is busy, I’m just as busy, but you make time for the people that matter. I’m done putting forth the effort.
- Listen Jerkface, there is a reason I never take anything you say seriously. Until your actions start to show me that your words actually mean something, I will continue to doubt your motives and intentions.
- Where has my eye-candy at the gym been? I’ve had no one to look at while I’m jogging.
I think its time to switch to my spring duvet cover. I hate when my seasons are off.
- Man, my next day off isn’t until Memorial Day! That’s 3 weeks away. How am I ever going to survive? And I really can’t call out because I just called out last month. I think we should be like the UK and get a bank holiday every other week.