To My Dearest Friends

To My Dearest Friends by Patricia Volk is about two women whose only connection is the death of their dear friend Roberta. Nanny and Alice come together because Roberta has left them a letter. It seems to be a love letter written to Roberta, author unknown.

Nanny and Alice cannot agree on how to handle the letter. Nanny believes they should find Bobbie’s mysterious lover, while Alice believes they should destroy Roberta’s letter alone. Both are surprised that their friend had an affair.

During their entire friendship with Bobbie, neither Nanny nor Alice have ever met each other or interacted with each other. Roberta preferred to keep her friends separate one another and did not intermingle. As this passage indicates,

"Think we knew the same person, Alice?
No. We knew her differently. Each of us knew an entirely different person …
How well did we know her, Alice?
Alice considers before answering. “We knew what she wanted us to know. And I would not care to know more than that about
anybody. Would you?”

Roberta kept her secret and only until after her death did she decide to share it with her friends. And it wasn’t because she was ashamed of having an affair; she knew that with her death, her two closest friends would need each other for support. She knew they would need a new friendship to replace the one they just lost.

This book got me thinking about all my different group of friends I have and if I am always me when I am with my friends. I believe that for the most part what you see is what you get, but I do know I edit myself around different friends. For instance I may not talk about one topic with one friend, but will eagerly do so with another. Even with my BFE, there are certain subjects that would be better discussed with another friend because I know how she’d react. Does this make my friendships with individuals any less special? I don’t believe so.

I think we all edit ourselves in some shape or form. Everyone has a private life and chooses what information they share with others. Even with this here blog, I do write a lot about my personal life, but there is also a lot that I don’t put out there. There are certain joys and heartaches that are meant to be shared with others and there are private thoughts, fears and dreams that you want to hold close to your heart. And maybe when the timing is right you’re ready to share that moment with a dearest friend.