D in a box and then some

As I was attempting to look for the SNL's video of "Dick in the Box" with Justin Timberlake to post on my blog, I found this on the main page of youtube and had to post it. Too funny. Well actually only funny if you own a cat or like that sort of thing. I know, I know, I'm on the fast track of becoming crazy cat lady. I think I'm already there. Sudko anyone?



And now here is Justin Timberlake's, "Dick in a box." That freaking song was stuck in my head all day on Sunday. I love it!



Oooh, and one more video. I'm so in love with Robin Thicke right now. He could very well replace Justin in my heart and that's awful to say given that I'm going to JT's concert this Friday. For shame! But Robin is so sexy and his voice, humm-ana-humana (I have no idea what sound I'm trying to make).

20 Books

In 2006 I read 11 books that I can recall. I may have read two or three more in the beginning of the year, but cannot recollect, so I will stick with the number 11. My goal for 2007 is to read at least 20 books. I decided on this ambitious goal after one of my favorite blogs, 50 Books. She reads 50 books a year and on top of that is a mother of an infant. I have no idea how she finds the time to read 50 books, but if she can do it, then hell, I can read 20 in a year.

She did an analysis of her reading patterns and here is mine. I tend to read female authors over male authors. Part of the reason is that I’m female and enjoy reading books about relationships (family, friends, and lovers type) and male authors except for Nicolas Sparks don’t really write about that sort of thing. I don’t really like period novels, unless it’s a trashy romance novel, then I’ll only read period novels. (I actually learn a lot of random facts from historical romance books that help me out in Jeopardy all the freaking time!) The four male authors I read, one was a suspenseful thriller, two were memoirs about their dogs, and the last was a book about family and autism. I hate to say it, but when I’m looking for a suspenseful thriller, I tend to look for a male author because I think they have a better point of view and can capture a story better than a female writer. I do think Elizabeth Kostova did a decent job in The Historian, but I wouldn’t classify that book as a thriller.

And while I bitch and moan about chick lit, I still love to read it. Although I can’t read too many in a row because after awhile it’s the same story, different day with a new plot of characters. And while I did not list any romance novels, I’m sure I read at least 2-3. I love a good trashy romance novel. Its great escapism and every woman wants to believe that they have a soul mate and an everlasting love out there. Whenever I’m feeling lonely or depressed, I grab a romance novel and it cheers me up greatly.

I think my favorite book for 2006 was The Time Traveler’s Wife. It had a different plot and was so moving and thoughtful and had me bawling my eyes out. It had such a neat take on relationships and how we perceive time and love. If you haven’t already read this book, then you should.

For 2007, I am going to try and diversify my list and branch out and read more male authors. And perhaps a period novel, and maybe even a non-fiction because I hardly ever read non-fiction. I really want to get back to reading more, so hopefully this will be the push that I need.

When String Attacks!

How in God's name did this happen? I mean seriously, how the hell am I supposed to get out of this mess?

WTF, when I get out of this knot the string will pay!

Man, this is so embarassing. I hope no one sees me like this. The frog keeps laughing at me.

And sadly folks, weeks have gone by and Weasley is still all tied up. This is the next generation in S&M for cats.

Sin City

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!!! That's all I'm going to say about my trip. Anything else will get me in trouble. I had so much fun, proably too much fun, and as long as no one knows about my good time at my job, then that makes my trip even better. The meetings of course were boring, but I did get to meet a bunch of my AE's from all my different regions, except for poor Canada. They really are the bastard red-headed step-children. I got to oogle from afar the really hot British guy that I had a crush on from training. So embarassing, but my boss found out that I had a crush on him, and was like, oh I can introduce you to him if you'd like. My female co-workers and I are now labeled as the "Hot Maintenance Girls", and this was told to us by my male boss at breakfast. Again, my cheeks started to burn. I think I got a total of 6 hours of sleep throughout the whole trip. I'm exhausated, but still feeling the high from Vegas. It was hella hard to do work today, and instead started to e-mail flirt with my SA from Dallas who is still in Vegas. I wish I was back on the strip with a drink in my hand, gazing at the wonder that is Vegas. It really is Sin City ;)

Vive Las Vegas

In less than 2 days time I will be partying it up in Sin City Baby! It's my company's annual World Conference and my entire department gets to go! I am so looking forward to this trip. It's going to be silly. All my co-workers cannot wait to see me let loose and go crazy (hmm, I wonder where they get this idea that I'm some wild child :). I already have my AE's from all my regions promising to buy me some drinks. And I may even gamble a bit. Who knows? Oh yeah, I will have to attend some meetings during the day, but I'm not going to let that get in the way of my fun. I was hoping to stay at The Wynn, but unfortch that's for all Executives. Instead I'll be holed up at The Venetian. Oh the trajedy. We already have dinner scheduled at some restaurant at The Palms Hotel, and afterwards we have a table reserved at Body English. This is exactly what I need to get over my holiday blues. Let's hope I come back sober.

Thaiglish

The other day I was in the check out line and the check out lady saw my last name on my credit card and asked in Thai if I was Thai. I responded back to her in Thai that yes I was Thai. From there we had a brief conversation in Thai.

And this weekend I had brunch with Best Friend Ever and her family. Out of that whole group, Julia and Julian are the only ones who don’t speak Thai. The conversation was a mixture of Thai and English, and by now Julia is probably used to not understanding half of the things that we are saying. During these outings, I never speak Thai even if someone speaks it to me. I will answer them back in English. It’s my first instinct and I can speak a lot faster in English than Thai. I understand Thai a lot better than I can speak it.

This got me to thinking about how I process language in my head. When someone is speaking Thai, I hear it and understand what they are saying, and in my head I interpret the words as English. So yes, someone is speaking Thai, but my comprehension is in English. When I reply to a person in Thai, I first think of what I want to say in English and then from there speak Thai. I am usually speaking incorrectly because I am following the rules of grammar for English, not Thai. But the people that I am talking with understand that I’m not fluent, so its no big deal. And my accent is god-awful. I sound like a valley girl speaking Thai.

I asked BFE if that’s how she processes Thai in her head, and of course she said no (hahaha, its amazing how her and I use the same parts of our brains in completely different ways). She is more fluent than me because growing up her parents forced her to speak Thai on a regular basis, while my parents didn’t. Sometimes I feel like I’m Julia sitting among the group not understanding a word around me. And its sad, cause I’ve gotten used to it too. From now on, I’m going to make an effort to speak Thai to my parents so that I have a better grasp of the language and can become more fluent, especially if I ever pursue my dreams of living overseas.

Reason Number One

I am home sick today from work with a slight cold. I decided to do at least one productive thing and head to the grocery store. My fridge is desperately lacking some food. I realize that my blog is entitled “Suzy Homemaker is NOT who I am” and feel I need to elaborate a bit more on the title.

As I’ve mentioned before, I cannot cook to save my life. I can easily burn water or toast. My specialties include PBJ sandwiches, cereal, and cheese and crackers. I tried to take cooking classes, and the only thing I really learned was that you shouldn’t stick your hand in a vat of boiling oil. It really wasn’t for me and I haven’t really cooked since then.

For the past few weeks my diet has consisted on ice cream, bowls of cereal, microwave pizzas, PBJ sandwiches, and potato skins. Not very healthy. And I always say that I’m going to cook a meal at least once a week, but when I get home from work, after sitting in traffic, I’m just tired and in no mood to slave away in front of the stove. It is much easier to microwave something or put something in a bowl.

So today when I went grocery shopping, I knew I probably wouldn’t cook anything this week, but at least tried to buy healthier items. I bought a whole rotisserie chicken, some rice, salad and frozen vegetables. I figure I can eat the chicken all week and prepare it differently each night. And while frozen vegetables aren’t the best, it’s better than nothing.

I’ve said it before; I just don’t get any satisfaction from cooking. Even when I am cooking for someone else, I still don’t enjoy it. I like to eat fine meals, and since I can’t cook fine meals, I get no enjoyment from eating my own food. It takes me forever to prepare even a simple dish, and since I barely have time for myself, I don’t want to spend it cooking. I do like to bake though, but baking is very different from cooking.

This is just reason number 1 on why I am not meant to be a homemaker. Further posts will elaborate more on this topic.

Yummy in my Tummy

This was Restaurant Week in good old DC and my friends and I got to partake in it. DC does Restaurant Week twice a year, once in the winter and once in the summer. It’s a great idea and a great way for restaurants to draw in new business. During that week, restaurants offer a set 3-course menu for lunch ($20) and dinner ($30). It’s an excellent way to sample the menu at cheaper prices.

I did this last year with Kiah and we tried Oceanaire Seafood Room, which was absolutely delicious. Last night I went with 4 beautiful ladies and had an awesome time. We went to Café Atlantico, which serves Latin American cuisine. It was so freaking good. For my appetizer I had shrimp with spanish cheese dripped with sauce (kinda wish I remembered the actual names of the dishes), the main course consisted of red snapper in a light wine sauce, and desert was this mouth-watering chocolate bundt cake that oozed out warm chocolate sauce. To die for!

It was a really fun night except for the weird guy who kept gawking at us. So strange. Nice bottle of wine, fantastic conversation, and 3 really good friends. Couldn’t have been a better evening. Afterwards we tried to go out in DC, but did not want to pay cover anywhere, so we went to the standard Union Jack’s in Bethesda. It always amazes me how crowded that place gets. Last night was not any different.

I sorta kept up with my New Year’s Theme. Usually when I go out with my friends, it honestly isn’t to go guy hunting, but to have a good time with all the people that I’m with. Normally if a guy comes up to me, I’m pretty rude and can’t be bothered to talk to him. So this guy starts talking to me and instead of blowing him off, I actually talked back for a bit. It’s only because he actually talked to me instead of trying to grab me or pull me into him for a dance. We chatted for a bit, nothing really came out of it, but I didn’t blow him off like I normally would do and tried something new. He was nice and that was cool. My friends were so proud of me. Yay me!

On a Side Note pt 3 ...

Perhaps its not such a good idea to carry a cat in one arm and a cup of Starbucks in the other arm when you are trying to open the main door to get into your apartment. Grr, I ended up dropping my coffee when I should've just droped the freaking cat. He would've landed on his feet like cats are supposed to, and I would be enjoying my cup of Chai Tea Latte. Argh, I'm so mad that I can't even be bothered to make myself a cup of coffee in my pot cause I just know it won't taste as good. I hadn't even taken a first sip yet cause I wanted to wait till I got home. Next time I'll know better than to be nice and take Weasley for a car ride. Yes, you heard correctly, I am now taking my cat on car rides. I'm lame.

Hooray!

Yay! Its an all new Grey's Anatomy tonight!!! I cannot wait. Will Alex and Addison finally kiss? Will Meredith get a better hairstyle, or will the stylist on the show finally make her pretty? Will McSteamy just walk around with his shirt off for the entire episode? I cannot wait. It has been too long since a new episode.

And Congrats to Matt and Sarah on their pregancy. It's about time, and so scary to think of one of my close friends having a baby.

Goodbye

Goodbye To You
By Michelle Branch
BestAudioCodes.com

Le sigh. I need to rant. There are times when I feel so suffocated and all I want to do is just leave and never look back. I want to pick up my entire life, move someplace far away, where I don’t know anyone and just live my life without any obligations to friends and family. No one knows me and I don’t know them and that’s just how I want it. Some may call that running away, and perhaps it is, but I would be free. Free of the constant demands made upon me, free to just live my life without having to answer to anyone or worry about hurting anyone’s feelings.

I’ve been told that I can be cold-hearted and that I don’t let people see me when I’m vulnerable. Being vulnerable to me is huge sign of weakness. I don’t like to ask for help and I don’t like people to know when I’m upset or sad. And crying in front of others, forget it, I hate it. I don’t allow people to get that close to me. It takes a lot of trust for me to let that guard down, to let someone see my weak side, my needy side. And it just feels so awful when you let that person in and they can’t appreciate it or they don’t realize how much it took me to let them in and end up disappointing me. It makes me want to close myself up even more and protect that part of me so that no one sees it. It makes me a harder person. It makes me want to run instead of fight. And I am just so god-damn tired of fighting. I’ve been fighting since the day I was born.

I’m done with the fighting. I don’t have the strength in me to keep fighting. I may be running away right now, but its what I need, its what I want. By shutting you out, I can rebuild again, I can finally let you go. I’m done. Goodbye.

My New Year's Theme

Now that it’s the New Year, everyone is talking about New Year’s resolutions and what they hope to accomplish or keep up with throughout the year. I used to make New Year’s resolutions, but never really stuck with them, so eventually gave up on them. I always did typical ones like go to the gym more, eat healthier, get good grades, shit like that. But I never put my heart into it and by the end of January I was done with them.

This year I am doing something a little bit different. Instead of New Year’s resolutions, I am going to have a theme. I stole this great idea from Diner Girl, check her out, she’s hilarious. So my theme for 2007 is to be open to new things. Sounds simple, but for me is huge. I hate change and while I complain about things being monotonous I like being on a schedule to the point where I’m anal retentive about my schedule. I tend to automatically say no to trying or pursuing new things, which really closes me off from experiencing new things or opportunities. I have definitely gotten too comfortable in my lifestyle and its good to shake things up a bit.

And I know that I’m terrified of change to the point where I won’t embrace it and I feel that it halts me in situations. I don’t want my insecurities or fears to keep me from some wonderful experiences where I can learn more about myself and allow myself to grow as a person. I will keep you posted on my progress.

Another goal that I would like to accomplish this year is to buy property. I really hope that I can get my finances together and buy my own place. I’m ready to be a homeowner and am already spending an alarming amount on rent. I might as well make my rent my mortgage payments. So hopefully this will be the year. I really do have a good feeling about this year. I’m ready for a change.

My week in Pictures

Last week, my good friend Shama, came into town. Shama and I first met at the radio station, and we hated each other. But we kept having to work together, and eventually we became really close friends. I love this girl to death, and she always knows how to have a good time. Ms. Shama is now living in South Beach, FL, and I am so jealous and cannot wait to go visit her. The week she was here we went out every night and drank every night. I think I am finally recovered from her visit. Here are some fun pics from that week, including my NYE pics.

Eragon

I just finished reading Eragon and I cannot wait to get started on the second book in the trilogy, Eldest. I’m such a dork, but I love books that have dragons, elves and dwarves in it. I think I was born to be a science geek, who reads comic books and daydreams about talking to a real girl, but I’m not, and I’m getting off subject.

What’s really amazing about this book is the author. Christopher Paolini was only 15 years old when he first wrote Eragon. His family self-published the book themselves and Paolini started his own book tour to promote the book. Slowly people began to read the book and it gained more notice. It finally fell into the hands of writer, Carl Hiaasen whom brought it to the attention of his publisher.

For being so young, Paolini’s characters have a lot of depth and insight and the overall plot is extremely intricate. You can definitely tell that Paolini is a fan of Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings, but his ideas are all his own. The novel is about a young boy named Eragon who finds a polished blue stone, which turns out to be a dragon’s egg. Eragon is now part of a legacy called the Dragon Riders and must escape the evil clutches of King Galbatorix who wants to use Eragon and his dragon, Saphira for evil purposes.

There are times when Paolini’s age shows; some of the dialogue seems a bit strained or forced. But his creativity and attention to detail is spectacular. He does a splendid job of foreshadowing, in the same way that J.K. Rowling is known for. When he mentions a detail it’s for a reason and will most likely appear in the other books. I love when authors do that because I like to figure out the significance to it and get excited when I continue to read and see that part again and how it unfolds.

Definitely recommend reading this book, and I’ll let you know how the rest of the trilogy turns outs. I know that he is currently working on the last book.

Year in Review

January: I started off 2006 with a visit to Thailand. The majority of my family lives there so it’s really nice when I get the opportunity to go. Now that I’m older, I appreciate these visits even more. Its great to experience a different culture and to see where your parents come from and to interact with family members that you hardly see. As a little kid you don’t really understand it and don’t take in everything that you see. But as an adult I have a deeper understanding of how my parents were raised and have a better perspective of their values and ideals. And I am slowly learning the history of Thailand as a country. I was actually there during the starts of the protest of the Prime Minister and it was interesting to hear the different viewpoints from my aunts and uncles on that topic. When the coup d’etat happened, I wasn’t that surprised since there was so much dissent among the Thai people and from being there and hearing the stories it was inevitable that this was going to happen. Too many were unhappy with the way the Prime Minister was running the country and how greedy he had become.

Besides witnessing the protests, I spent a lot of time at the beach. I stayed at my cousin’s beach house in Hua Hin. I also got to visit the beautiful island of Phuket. That was amazing and definitely a highlight of my trip. Its remarkable how quickly Phuket was able to rebuild itself after the tsunami that devastated that area Christmas 2005. There are only a handful of areas where you can see the damage, but for the most part, Phuket is up and running. The island makes most of its money from the resorts and tourist attractions, so I was glad to see that the tsunami has not deterred people from visiting and vacationing there. I had a great time in Thailand and hope to visit every other year.

February: Which is my favorite month of the year ended with me turning 26. My friends D, Sean Kiah and I all have b-days within days of each other, so for the last few years we have celebrated our birthdays together. This year we had a party at the Montgomery County Fairgrounds where Sean works. Sean and I decorated the place and it reminded me of a high school gym during homecoming/prom season. It was lots of fun. The birthday peeps all got very drunk and it was a good time for all.

This month also marked the beginning of my relationship with my ex. Man, where do I begin? I guess I can talk later on about the falling apart of our relationship. This was still the beginning, so we were still in the honeymoon phase of the whole thing. The relationship started off very sweet. I have to admit that I wasn’t so open to the idea of dating him at first. And it wasn’t because of him. It had more to do with my commitment phobia and me. I am deathly terrified of opening myself up to someone, letting them in and then getting hurt by them. I also hate being that girl whose life revolves around their boyfriend or loses their identity in a relationship. So in the beginning I gave him a hard time, and to be honest, if I was him, I would’ve bailed on me a long time ago. But he didn’t. He stuck around and dealt with my insecurities and it was really sweet, and I adored him that much more for not giving up on me.


March: Goes in like a lion and comes out like a lamb. Umm, that could perhaps sum up that month for me. Can’t think of anything too significant that happened to me that month. I do believe this was the month where I started to panic when I realized I was still unemployed and depleting the money in my savings account. So began the job hunt.

April: I started to go on interviews this month looking for a new job. I had quit my job back in November ’05 and it was time to stop being lazy and get my ass back to work. I accepted a job with a company called Aptela. It was an inside sales position and I was selling VoIP. I hated this job. It sucked. I was a high-paid tele-marketer and that was not what I signed up for. They were totally misleading throughout the interview and training. I was not a happy camper and by early May had left the company.

My friend Reet had her wedding reception this month also. She got married in India back in December, but had her reception for all the people that couldn’t fly to India in April. It was lots of fun and kinda weird to see one of my really close girlfriends married.

May: I quit my job at Aptela. After realizing what the job really was, I couldn’t stand being there a moment longer. I figured I would be better off unemployed looking for a new job than being stuck there miserable until I found better work. I began to work part-time at my friend’s business called Edible Arrangements. This allowed me to bring in some money and have the freedom and flexibility to go on interviews.

June: This month marked the first breakup with my ex. Yes, I said first. Le sigh. We had been fighting, didn’t really know how to communicate with one another and had some trust issues. It wasn’t a pretty break-up. A lot of hurt feelings on both sides. I think we were both really angry at one another and neither one of us handled it well. At least I didn’t. I was severely depressed over the whole situation and did not want to break up. I knew we had problems but I wanted to work on those problems to get us to a stronger place. But it takes two people to be in a relationship and one person wanting it more can’t fix the entire thing. I was very upset throughout this and acted very immature and hurtful towards some of my friends, which I really regret now. I wish I had handled myself better, but at the time I wanted to hurt people and have them feel the pain that I was feeling.

I also started my job at my current company. My friend Reet, who used to work here, got me my initial interview and bam, I was hired. I am a Maintenance Renewal Analyst. I review contracts and price customers their technical support for the use of our software. It’s a very different job from my old radio gig. And a completely different work environment, much quieter, and while I am part of a team, all the work is individual and I spend all my time in front of a computer. There are some days where I won’t speak to any of my co-workers until lunchtime. The silence can get to me at times. I’m used to all the ladies of TTN sitting next to a box of cookies, chitchatting about our day and what we had planned for the week. Its not quite like that here, but I can’t complain.

July: This month welcomed the start of my blog, Suzy Homemaker is NOT Who I am. And this concludes my year in review. You can now just read my archives to find out what I did the rest of the year. Hahaha, just kidding. I’m actually really glad that I started this blog. It’s a great outlet to let out my thoughts and frustrations. It helps me get my creative juices flowing and keeps me in touch with friends in a way that myspace can’t. I also love reading other people’s blogs and seeing their points-of-view.

August: I began my foray into cooking classes this month. Eh, not bad, but also probably a huge waste of time and money. I probably have only cooked a handful of meals since then. Not exactly sure how I survive. I think I get take out a lot or go out to dinners a lot. I suppose it was valuable for me to take them. At least I have a foundation to start with and can progress from there. But again, it requires me to actual cook and I still don’t enjoy. Cooking for one person just isn’t fun, and I’m not a big fan of leftovers.

My roommate also moved out. Le sigh. Very happy for her cause she bought her condo, but sad for me cause we would no longer be living together. Those were some good times.

September: My ex and I got back together this month. It started off with a simple e-mail, and I wasn’t sure if he really meant to send it to me or not so I replied back to it. I wonder what would’ve happened if I didn’t, but its not good to think about what if’s. I was deliriously happy when we got back together. I had been missing him since the day we broke up and thought about him everyday. I honestly believe that I love/d him. When we were together, I felt it, I was euphoric and every part of me felt alive. I couldn’t stop smiling that first weekend and I was so happy to have him back in my life. He was the first guy in a long time that I opened up to and let in. And I really do think it helped that we were friends first before we started dating. We both agreed that we still had obstacles and issues to overcome – mainly learning to better communicate with one another. I was determined to make it work between us. I wanted a better outcome than last time.

My friend Jeff got married. Another one bites the dust. I also bought my new car this month.

October: This is the month where my ex and I officially broke up once again. The relationship started to deteriorate towards the end of September, but it was finalized until October. Some people just aren’t clearly meant to be together regardless of timing. I think that is him and I. While we both wanted to make it work in the beginning, we both fell into our old patterns very quickly and from there didn’t know how to recover. In the beginning of the breakup, I really was ok with the whole thing. I felt good that at least I knew for sure that him and I aren’t suited for one another and that I wouldn’t keep playing the what if game. And I really was happy that we did get back together, even if it only lasted for a month. I really did care a lot about him and I was really happy to have had him back even for just a bit.

But then things got ugly. Him and I don’t even talk anymore, and I highly doubt we ever will. Too many nasty things were said back and forth between each other and it’s too hard to take them back or forgive it. Even now I think he is still really mad at me. My anger has faded and now I don’t really feel much. I do miss him. I do think about him still. I miss our good days a lot, but I don’t miss our bad days at all. I do miss our friendship a lot. I think we were better friends than lovers. And I do have to thank him. He helped me open myself up and even though I got hurt by all of this, I think it was a good thing. It helped me understand how I am in a relationship, and realized there are things about me that I didn’t like and need to change. Being with him also made me realize that I’m finally at a point in my life where I’m ready to be in a serious relationship. I’m no longer afraid of them and will not run away from one next time. I also realized what I want out of a significant other and what I deserve. It was a great learning experience and I wish we could still be friends. Who knows, stranger things have happened.

November: I finally caved in and became Crazy Cat Lady. I adopted the sweetest little kitty from the Montgomery County Humane Society and named him Weasley. I am so glad that I did it. It definitely sucks sometimes to come home to a completely empty apartment. I was getting lonely and bored and needed some companionship. Weasley and I are a good fit. He’s more dog-like than cat. He loves to be picked up, and loves just sitting in my lap and letting me pet him. He is very friendly and is not afraid of people. Such a sweet cat and I’m training to walk him on a leash. Hahaha, I know, I’m nutso.

December: It was a pretty hectic month with the end of the quarter and the holidays upon us. I was very stressed out this month and was prone to be in a bad mood. I actually am so glad that the holidays are over and my quarter is done. My friend Shama spent the last week with me, and I’ll post our week up in pictures hopefully later on this week.

Overall, 2006 was a decent year. There were some great highs and some shitty lows. But that is life. You can’t expect everything to be perfect and those lows are the things that make you a stronger person and where you learn a lot about yourself. Everything happens for a reason and there are times when I hate that statement, but I firmly believe in it. People come and go in your life for a reason and I cherish all of my friends that have been there for me and all the new friends I have met at my new job. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for me in 2007. Biggest goal is to buy a condo!