Friday, July 28, 2006

Future Nonsense

Today was my company picnic and for shits and giggles, I sat down with the fortuneteller that was there for entertainment. Let me just say, she was dressed like a gypsy, but this woman was no gypsy. She didn’t even have real tarot cards. The cards had pictures of, I swear, animals?!? What’s that all about? Did she buy them at the Walmart instead of a real gypsy-selling store? But again, it’s a company picnic, and they hired her for shits and giggles.

So she asked me if I had any specific question in mind. A flurry of thoughts went off in my head, such as, I wonder how long I have to stay here before I can roll out, will the line for food go down by the time I am done with you, will I be able to get a nap in today, and other such nonsense. I of course answer no, just give me a general overview of what’s in my future.

I pull out 5 cards from her pile. She analyzes them with great concentration. She looks up, her icy gray eyes bore into mine, the winds pick up, the sky becomes dark and dangerous, and a flash of lightening illuminates the air. Wait, strike that, that didn’t happen. Instead, she starts off with saying that I have been doing a lot of introspection. I have been asking myself where I see myself going, and where I want to end up. That’s partly true. I have been asking myself a lot of questions about my life and what I want out of it. And so far I have come up with no good answers.

She then goes on to relationships. She explains that there was someone recently who disappointed me and let me down badly and that I was very upset by this. This can apply to a lot of people who are currently in/out of my life at this precise moment. Namely two people come into my mind. She also says that there is a friendship in my life that is cooling off. But its okay because a new set of friends is approaching my life. Again, this can apply to a few people in my life, and there is one person in particular who has totally fallen off my love meter. But hey, I’m going to make new friends, so its all good.

She said that my work life is okay. Its pretty stable and she doesn’t see anything rocking it. Which is good, cause I just started a new job after being unemployed for 5-6 months. I was unemployed by choice since I almost drove myself to have a mental breakdown. And if you can afford to take some time-off, I highly recommend it! She then went on to say that this is a good time for me to take some kind of class. Which is really funny cause I’m thinking of taking some cooking classes. As you can see by the title of this blog, I cannot cook worth shit. I once burned a microwave dinner, but that is neither here nor there.

As fortunetellers go, she was okay. A lot of the things she told me was very general, it just happened that I could think of specific examples relating to everything. She did a reading for my co-worker, and was just completely off on him. You have to take these things with a grain of salt. I walked away from her thinking, well at least I didn’t have to pay for that, cause I’d want my money back.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Another Night of The Hills

The highlight of my week is Wednesday night when I get to watch The Hills on MTV. I know, I know, its sad that I’m a 26 year old who is obsessed over the lives of Lauren and Heidi who are barely 20, but their lives are just that much more exciting than mine.
Oh, and I can’t forget Project Runway on Bravo.

And my biggest dilemma on Wednesday nights is which show to watch because both air at the same time. This problem could be easily solved if I just got DVR. I’m always behind when it comes to technology. Just recently I switched from dial up to high speed internet (Hooray!) Everyone and their mother has DVR but I just refuse to get it. Two reasons: firstly, I refuse to add another $10 to my already over-priced Comcast bill.

(And now for a little back-story. For over a year and a half, my roommate and I were getting cable for free. It was like the Gods rained the heavens on us. That was a great year and a half. And then one day I come home from work, turn on the TV and get nothing but static. At first I thought, hmm, the cable must be out (that has happened before), but then not an hour later I hear a tap, tap, tap on the door. No one ever comes to visit us, so I proceed to the door with caution. Slowly I open it, and there standing in the hallway is the Comcast Man. Now I’m kinda nervous cause I’m thinking he’s here to inspect my cable and then haul my ass to jail for stealing it. (And its really not stealing, when you plug in your cable cord and viola there is cable. Its not my fault that Comcast forgot to turn off the past residents cable, but I digress) I won’t even let him inside the door, and he’s trying to hand me a flier describing the cable options with his name and number. He leaves saying, “If you’re in need of cable, just call me.” I close the door, let out a huge sigh of relief that I’m not being arrested, and then the light bulb dings in my head. That fucker just turned off my cable. I was livid that those asses over at Comcast finally realized that I was siphoning free cable from them, and so they came and took it away from me. Out of principle for two weeks I did not call them. But I finally caved when the new season of Laguna Beach started (haha, that’s kinda funny that I’m writing about The Hills).

To make a long story longer, of course I had to upgrade to digital cable, but when it was time to check the DVR box, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. They were already sucking so much money out of me, that I would not allow them another penny more.

My second reason for not adding DVR is that to do this, I have to get a new box. And of course those asses can’t deliver it to me, and I’m just too freaking lazy to drive to my local Comcast office to pick up a new box. So I will not be engaging in this new technology that is DVR. But luckily for me, both stations air repeats like its going out of style, so I can catch Project Runway on the weekends.

I have to admit, The Hills is a lamer version of the classic Laguna Beach. I mean, if Lauren did not get back together with loser Jason, the show would suck ass. Its not like her internship at Teen Vogue is very exciting. Occasionally she gets to work a photo shoot or a runway show, but hey, who doesn’t get to do that everyday? And you can only watch so many scenes of annoying Heidi and her voice babble about quitting school to get an awesome job working for a promotions company only to find out that her awesome job is sitting behind a desk 9-5, running errands for her boss. Welcome to my life and every other working class person out there Heidi.

But even Lauren and Jason’s relationship is boring. I mean yes, they fight a lot, but I just came for a relationship where I fought all the time, and their fights are lame compared to the ones I had. And their pet names for each other are just god-awful. He calls her Woobie. What the fuck is that? My God, if I’m ever in a relationship where my boyfriend calls me a dumb pet name like that, shoot me, and make it count. And how are these kids always getting into clubs? They’re not 21!

But for the most part, The Hills is my must watch show of the summer. Maybe if I had more of a life, I’d find something better to do on a Wednesday night, but clearly I don’t.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Myspace Ruins Lives!

I deleted my myspace account a few weeks back and needed something to fill the void in my empty life. So I have created this blog in hopes to fill the emptiness that I currently feel.

I am still very sad over deleting my account, but it had to be done. I was addicted to it, and my site was so pretty, but life threw me a monkey wrench and I had to let it go. Maybe one day I'll recreate it and have the sense to make it private like I should've done instead of deleting it. But I was getting some hate mail from my ex-boyfriend over some of the stoodpidest shit. I mean, seriously, if it bothers you that much to see my page and what I've been up to, just don't look at it. Simple as that! And if you happen to find this blog, and realize its me, don't read it!

I stand by my statement that myspace ruins lives. That site can suck hours upon hours away from your life. I admit it that I could spend hours on end myspace stalking people. It was sad, and I knew it, but myspace is like crack. The more you try it, the more you want it. One line is never enough, you always want just one more hit. That is myspace, my friends. I don't think kids do drugs anymore, they do myspace. Gosh, I miss my myspace account. I have the shakes from not signing in and leaving comments on people's pages. And to top it off, I just bought this brand new digital camera, and I can't even create new slideshows or post new pics up cause I no longer have an account. Le sigh. I'm not even on that damn thing, and I'm still obsessing over that shit.

So let's hope this blog tempers my addiction and allows me to live myspace free!