Future Nonsense

Today was my company picnic and for shits and giggles, I sat down with the fortuneteller that was there for entertainment. Let me just say, she was dressed like a gypsy, but this woman was no gypsy. She didn’t even have real tarot cards. The cards had pictures of, I swear, animals?!? What’s that all about? Did she buy them at the Walmart instead of a real gypsy-selling store? But again, it’s a company picnic, and they hired her for shits and giggles.

So she asked me if I had any specific question in mind. A flurry of thoughts went off in my head, such as, I wonder how long I have to stay here before I can roll out, will the line for food go down by the time I am done with you, will I be able to get a nap in today, and other such nonsense. I of course answer no, just give me a general overview of what’s in my future.

I pull out 5 cards from her pile. She analyzes them with great concentration. She looks up, her icy gray eyes bore into mine, the winds pick up, the sky becomes dark and dangerous, and a flash of lightening illuminates the air. Wait, strike that, that didn’t happen. Instead, she starts off with saying that I have been doing a lot of introspection. I have been asking myself where I see myself going, and where I want to end up. That’s partly true. I have been asking myself a lot of questions about my life and what I want out of it. And so far I have come up with no good answers.

She then goes on to relationships. She explains that there was someone recently who disappointed me and let me down badly and that I was very upset by this. This can apply to a lot of people who are currently in/out of my life at this precise moment. Namely two people come into my mind. She also says that there is a friendship in my life that is cooling off. But its okay because a new set of friends is approaching my life. Again, this can apply to a few people in my life, and there is one person in particular who has totally fallen off my love meter. But hey, I’m going to make new friends, so its all good.

She said that my work life is okay. Its pretty stable and she doesn’t see anything rocking it. Which is good, cause I just started a new job after being unemployed for 5-6 months. I was unemployed by choice since I almost drove myself to have a mental breakdown. And if you can afford to take some time-off, I highly recommend it! She then went on to say that this is a good time for me to take some kind of class. Which is really funny cause I’m thinking of taking some cooking classes. As you can see by the title of this blog, I cannot cook worth shit. I once burned a microwave dinner, but that is neither here nor there.

As fortunetellers go, she was okay. A lot of the things she told me was very general, it just happened that I could think of specific examples relating to everything. She did a reading for my co-worker, and was just completely off on him. You have to take these things with a grain of salt. I walked away from her thinking, well at least I didn’t have to pay for that, cause I’d want my money back.