Bhahahahbhahahbhaha

A conversation I had with my friend:

We are getting ready to watch the movie Elf and I am eating my salad from Panera. Earlier we were talking about my non-love of the holiday season (reason we were watching Elf to get me back in the holiday spirit) and my attempts to walk my cat (more to come on that).

Me: I really don't like lettuce. Its just water, you know. I like eating all the extra stuff that comes in the salad, you know, the meat, the egg, the cheese. I like the filler in salad, but not the salad itself.
Friend: You are so backwards!
Me: What!?
Friend: You don't like salad, just all the extra shit in salad. You hate Christmas. And you're trying to walk a cat! I think you're the devil.

At this point I'm laughing hysterically. Probably doesn't seem so funny in print, but if you were there, you'd be laughing too.