A Three Dog Life

A Three Dog Life is a memoir by Abigail Thomas, which chronicles the after math of her husband’s accident. One fateful night while walking their dog, a car hits Rich as the dog escapes from his leash. Rich suffers a traumatic brain injury that leaves him with no short-term memory, hallucinations and rages. Thomas must learn to cope with a husband who is never really there and rebuild her to these new circumstances.

Man, I really like sad memoirs. Just like The Year of Magical Thinking, this book is about a woman who suffers a great tragedy and recounts the years following the event. Unlike Didion, whose husband died, Thomas’s husband has no memory of yesterday and can only function in the here and now. As she states,
“I miss my husband. I miss the company of living with this man I loved
and trusted absolutely … Walking down our street I missed him by my side.
The past gets swallowed up in the extraordinary circumstances of now.
But mostly it hurts too much to let my mind go back.”
He may be physically alive and present, but he isn’t always functional at times scared and confused to where he is or what happened to him.

This book is a really quick read and while very emotional isn’t as gut wrenching to me as Didion’s was. Thomas has become accepting of her life and the terrible accident with Rich. She declares, “Rich is necessary to my happiness; I love the person he is now, I love who I am when I’m with him, and I can sometimes hold these two truths in my head at once: I wish he were whole, and I love my life.” It is liberating to read those words. It makes me hopeful. It opens doors to a whole realm of different possibilities in life. I didn’t feel sad after reading this book, more inspired.

On a Side Note Pt 9 ...

Aww geez, I have so many thoughts running through my head, but not enough time to put them down. I hate when life rushes past me without giving me a moment to catch up. I hate when life becomes one big to-do list and all I want to do is crunch up that list and punt the shit out of it to the endzone (I have the MD v West Virginia game in the background and MD is getting the poopie shit kicked out of them. So much for my "Fear the Turtle" war cry, which sounds like a dying turtle, but its really scary!)

Whenever my life gets like this, I get insomnia and spend most of my night tossing and turning. Or I get the same recurring nightmare where I know I'm sleeping and I'm screaming to myself to wake up, but my mind won't let me get up until the dream is over. When I finally am able to wake up, I'm scared, I have to turn on my light and I can't sleep the rest of the night because I'm afraid I'll have the same nightmare again. This week I have had it twice!

So needless to say, I'm a bit stressed right now, cranky, moody, all around grumpy. Hopefully I'll get a chance this weekend to write it all down and process all the emotions that are running through me.

The House of Mondavi

I normally don’t read non-fiction, but when I saw House of Mondavi: The Rise and Fall of an American Dynasty by Julia Flynn Siler I had to pick it up. I love Mondavi wines! When I’m in the wine store, Mondavi is my go to wine. So I was interested in reading about how this family became known as America’s “first family” of wine.

The Mondavi family started off with simple roots with Cesare Mondavi emigrating from Italy slowly making his way out West. The background of their family reminds me of The Godfather, with Cesare as The Don. He was well respected within the Italian community, with families coming to Cesare for advice. I’m kept waiting for him to say, “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

Cesare eventually purchased the Charles Krug winery with the hopes of his two sons Robert and Peter running the winery. But of course personalities crashed with Robert and Peter, and Robert was forced out of the family business.

Robert didn’t let the firing stop him from pursuing his love of winemaking and bought his own winery naming it after himself. Robert was driven to make Mondavi number one and to put California wines on the map. During that time period of the early 70’s, California wine was still considered table wine while restaurants only served the fine quality wines from France. Robert intended to change the image of California-produced wine to rival France.

Pretty soon Mondavi was Synonymous with Napa Valley and was one of the leading wine sellers. But history repeated itself with the feuding of Robert’s offspring Michael and Timothy. While Michael believed in expanding the popular Mondavi brand, Timothy believed that Mondavi should focus on producing high-quality wines instead of stretching its resources thin. You can guess the outcome of what’s to happen.

Siler starts from the beginning of the Mondavi’s simple roots to the bitter end when Mondavi was involved in a hostile takeover. Currently there are no family members running the corporation and the Mondavi’s no longer own their name, selling it off during the takeover.

It’s an intriguing story of brother versus brother, hell even at times sons versus father. I’m amazed at Robert’s drive and ambition to become one of the leading brands of wine even at times surpassing French wines. It was also sad to see the family lose the company that they built from the ground up.

The story can be confusing at times to follow since there are so many players involved, but overall it was an enjoyable read. I found the whole wine making process fascinating. Siler gives a good groundwork of the history of Napa Valley and America’s contribution to the wine industry. I’ve been to Napa Valley before and cannot remember for the life of me if I stopped at Robert Mondavi, but the next time I’m in that area, I will be sure to stop now that I know the family history.

A Quiet Night In vs Party Like a RockStar

After the last three weekends of partying my ass off, I just need a weekend to relax, unwind and detox my body from all the alcohol and fatty foods that I have been feeding it.

Kiah, me, Jessie
I must admit I’ve had a blast these last few weekends. Its been awhile since I’ve let loose and drank and danced the night into the wee hours of the morning. I felt like I was back in college or my early days at working in promotions at the radio station. I forgot how much fun DC can be and that there is tons of night spots to hit up.

Larry, me
Mentally, I sometimes feel like I’m a lot older than I really am. So it was good to go out and remind myself that I am a young, vivacious, fun, bee-yoo-ti-ful, twenty-something and that I can still drop it like its hot with the best of them. There is nothing better than being on the dance floor, hearing the beat of your favorite song, swaying your hips, arms swinging in the air, lost in the moment. It’s even better when you’re with a group of your favorite people, laughing and enjoying each other’s company.

some guy, me
But I also love nights like this where I have nothing planned and can sit back and loosen up. Maybe I’ll chill in front of the TV or lay in bed reading my book. Or perhaps I’ll do some baking or spend some quality time with the Weasley. Maybe if I'm feeling adventerous, I'll get to do a bit of everything and actually go to bed early!

Either way its nice to have those fun filled crazy nights where I don't get home till 5am and nights like these where I can de-stress from the week and get some much needed me time.

On a Side Note Pt 8 ...

My good friend recently proposed to his girlfriend. The other day he sent an e-mail asking for my first, last name, address and name of date ASAP! My first thought was damn, when is the wedding. My second thought was damn, I don't have a date! I e-mailed him back asking when the wedding was and he replied May/June of 2008. I told him that if he was giving me a +1, than I'll be damned sure I find a date.

So now the pressure is on for me to find a date for this wedding. I know May/June of 2008 seems far enough away, but with my track record of dates, it could very well take me that long to find a suitable date. I can always rely on a back-up date, but I really would like to go to a wedding with someone with whom I'm actually dating! It doesn't seem that hard right? Don't answer.

Restless Nights

I have been feeling a bit anxious about this whole process of buying a new home. I met with my realtor on Thursday, and she is freaking awesome! Best Friend Ever used her when she was in the market for a new home and had nothing but great things to say about her. So when I met with Wendy (my realtor) I felt very positive and was looking forward to view some condos on Sunday.

Sunday rolls around and I was tired and hungover from the night before (I was out till 5am partying it up. Man, that's three weekends in a row that I have been partying my ass off. Yay me!). We were able to fit in a bunch of different places in Rockville and Gaithersburg. There were at least 4-5 properties that caught my eye and I could really envision myself living there.

I know its only been my first weekend of looking and that it can take a person months to find the right place, but I really don't want this to be a drawn out process. I would prefer to be in my new home before the onset of cold weather. So I'm hoping to find a condo within the next few weeks. I'm just ready to be out of my apartment, but I need to find a home first.

My biggest decision is whether I want to continue living in Rockville or move up to Gaithersburg. I've been living in Rockville for the past three years and I love it. I'm 20 minutes from Virginia and DC and I feel like Rockville is a great center point. But my choices are limited in Rockville about what I can afford, and I need to be realistic. In Gaithersburg I could afford a two-bedroom/two-bath condo for the same amount of a one-bedroom in Rockville. So do I go for a bigger unit with more square footage or an area that resells well and closer in to the city?

My preference would be to stay in Rockville, but only if its a great unit that is affordable and in a good neighborhood. I'm so wishy-washy, going back and forth over the pros and cons of each city. I keep reminding myself that this is only my first weekend of looking, so I don't need to make any drastic decisions just yet, but I'm antsy and feeling restless over it all.

I'm trying to enjoy this process and not fast forward to the end, but its hard for me. I'm stil bitter about losing the first place so its making me very weary of this whole experience. I've been up all night stressing about this. I need to not take it so seriously.

Ugh, le sigh. End of pity party.

My Sad Little Top 25

I’m still been in a funk ever since my bad news from last week. I’m trying my hardest to not let all the negative emotions get the best of me and remain positive throughout all of this. It just blows because I should be closing tomorrow if everything went according to plan. But I am meeting with my realtor tomorrow to start the whole process all over again. I know the situation isn’t hopeless and that I will find a place that I love as much as the last place. It just wasn’t meant to be (although I feel like shit like this has been happening a lot lately to me).

Instead of writing about how woe is me and indulging in a pity party, I am giving you my top 25 songs played on my iTunes. I never really noticed that feature on my iTunes until the other night and out of curiosity clicked to see what songs I choose to play over and over again. Mind you I am the biggest teenybopper I know, so please don’t make fun of me as you read this.

25) Ain’t It Funny – Jennifer Lopez featuring Ja Rule
Hahaha, I never realized how much I love this song until I saw it on my list. Its got a great beat that you can shake your booty to, and I love that she’s singing about a stupid boy who realized too late that he wanted her, but now can’t have her. Sweet revenge.

24) Water Runs Dry – Boyz II Men
Man, this song brings me back to high school and college with my first serious relationship. I was trying so hard to salvage it and this song spoke volumes to me. I didn’t want the water to run dry on our relationship and stayed with him for much longer than I should have. Its so funny how caught up you can get in a relationship.

23) I Gotta Be – Jagged Edge
I’m such a sucker for sappy love songs. My favorite line in this song is “Don’t want to make a scene/I really don’t care if the people stare at us/Sometimes I think I’m dreamin.” Actually I love the entire song.

22) Girlfriend – NSYNC featuring Nelly
The first of many NSYNC songs, I’m sure. I think this may be their first cross over song of NSYNC’s showing their growing popularity and street cred (Did I really just write that?). This was pre Lance Bass coming out and Justin Timberlake embarking on a very successful solo career. But I still heart JC.

21) Free – Mya
Such a girl anthem; this song is all about being single and free and not needing no man to make you happy. I always play this song before I’m going out to get me all hyper and pumped for the evening.

20) Open Arms – Journey
I’m actually surprised that this song is in my top 25. Out of all the Journey song’s, I would assume that Don’t Stop Believing would be on here. Strange.

19) Build My World – JC Chasez
Out of all the NYSNCers I believe that JC has the best voice. Granted, Justin has his falsetto, but it can grate on my nerves if he sings too long with it. Another sappy romantic love song and really shows the range in JC’s voice.

18) Holla Back Girl – Gwen Stefani
Again, another surprise song on my list. I never realized I played this song so much. I used to ridicule it so much when it first came out. It does have a good beat and is a great song to run to, so perhaps that’s why its so high on my list.

17) Closer – Goapele
This song is off the Honey soundtrack. Its got a nice, smooth, slow jazzy beat. I remember going to the premiere of this movie and dancing in the parking lot with my girls Shama and Kiah. We wanted to come up with a dance routine for our upcoming Jingle Ball. Good times.

16) Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know – Britney Spears
Classic Britney before she became the train wreck that she is now. This is before the head-shaving, before her two failed marriages, hell this is even before she was with a Mr. Timberlake. Favorite line, “Your body language says so much/I see it in the way we touch.”

15) Miss You – Aaliyah
She died way too soon. She was at the pinnacle of her career when her plane crashed. I bet if she were still alive today, she would be producing great music. This song is for any ex-boyfriend I have ever missed.

14) I Thought She Knew – NSYNC
Second NSYNC song. Again, surprised this one is so high, since its not one of my favorites. Maybe I just like the vocals?

13) I Wanna Be Bad – Willa Ford
I’m embarrassed that this is even on my iTunes. But I obviously like this song. Whatever happened to her?

12) Nice And Slow – Usher
This is such a great before sex song. It gets you right in the mood for some good loving. Enough said.

11) Shiver – Maroon 5
One of my favorite Maroon 5 songs. It’s about going after someone that’s unattainable, and doing anything necessary to get that person. You’re so infatuated with that person that the mere thought of them makes you shiver. My favorite verse “I shudder when I hear your name/I think about you/but its not the same/Won’t be satisfied till I’m under your skin”

10) Some Girls(Dance With Women) – JC Chasez
This was his first single off his debut solo album. I like dancing to it and imagining him watching me (Pervy much?)

9) Boys – Britney Spears
And she makes the countdown a second time. This used to be my ring tone, that’s how much I loved this song. Sometimes a girl just needs a boy to play with.

8) Iris – Goo Goo Dolls
Sappy romantic love song. Whenever I’m feeling lonely or depressed, playing sappy love songs keep me in that melancholy mood that I want to be it. Its kind of a self-torture that I inflict upon myself. This really is a sweet, loving song.

7) I’m Good – Blaque
Another girl power song about being good without a man in their lives. I think more women artists need songs like this to show women out there that a man doesn’t complete their lives, and that they are just as fine without one.

6) Pump It – Black Eyed Peas
Great beat, great tempo, great workout song. This is the first song on my workout play list and always pumps me up for a strong session.

5) Dear Goodbye – JC Chasez
Wow, he’s on here a third time! This song is about saying goodbye to a boyfriend and knowing that sometimes its better to just walk away than try to be together even if you still love that person. No one’s really to blame, you two just weren’t meant to be.

4) Bootylicious – Destiny’s Child
“I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly!’ may be one of the best lines in all of music history. Another booty shaking song that I can dance silly to.

3) Bringin Da Noise – NSYNC
OMG, why is this song so high up my list? It’s freaking number 3 and again, not one of my favorites. No explanation.

2) Gone – NSYNC
I sure do like NSYNC. This truly deserves to be this high. JT looks so freaking hot in this video and sings this song all by his lonesome. You just knew he was ready to be solo when he performed this.

1) I’m A Slave For You – Britney Spears
My all-time favorite Britney song. She looked fantabolous in this video. Where did she go? I miss this Britney. She needs to come back.

And that’s my top 25. A few notes here:

- I have not updated my iTunes in ages hence no recent songs on here like SexyBack or Lost Without you – Robin Thicke

- My play list reads like it’s coming from an 11 year old. I really need better taste in music.

- I really need better taste in music

- And once more with feeling, I really need better taste in music.

Shocking News

Last Thursday was a very shitty day for me. I got some really upsetting news. The developer of my condo called me to inform me that they would be canceling the contract on my new condo. I was at work, when she called me. When she first told me the news, I did a double take and asked if she was joking. Unfortunately she was not.

I was in complete shock when she started to explain the situation to me. Originally I was supposed to be closing this upcoming Thursday, but the developer called me two weeks ago notifying me that they would be pushing my settlement date to September 18. When I asked why, she gave me some bullshit excuse about needing internal approvals on their end and with people being on vacation it wouldn’t happen right away. So we rescheduled everything and I was annoyed that they waited two weeks before I was to settle to tell me this. But I didn’t think anything was wrong or thought to question further.

I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be closing in two weeks, but just sucked it up and rescheduled my moving date and took a break from all the packing. When I got the call about terminating my contract I was devastated. Apparently the current developer is being sold to another development company and the new development company has decided to keep the units as rentals instead of converting them into condos. And there is a clause in my contract that they can cancel without notice prior to closing. So they are in their legal rights to pull the rug from under me, but it doesn’t ease the pain, hurt and rage that I am feeling.

I was livid on the phone. I kept saying “Unacceptable” and come September 30, I won’t have a place to live since I have given notice to my leasing office. The developer’s compensation for me is that I can rent the exact unit that I wanted to purchase at my current rent with one month’s rent-free. OMG, I’m jumping up and down at this exciting opportunity for me. Instead of purchasing a place that I fell in love with, I can lease it for a year with a clause that I can break my lease at any moment! What a slap in my face. They have got to be fucking kidding me that I would be happy with this option.

I also brought up the point that they knew this could happen two weeks ago and why wasn’t I informed of this turn of events when they postponed my closing. Their answer was that they thought the new developer would still move forward with all the current contracts. I pointed out that if they had told me this could happen two weeks ago, I could have cancelled my contract and made new plans, but no, I thought everything was ok and that I would still be closing on my new home. I wasted two weeks by not looking for something else. These motherfuckers won’t even compensate me for my moving deposit or my $475 application fee for my mortgage. I seriously think they should reimburse me for that and more!

Luckily I won’t be homeless at the end of September. As tempting (can you sense my sarcasm) as their offer sounds about renting my dream home, I called my leasing office and found out that my apartment has not been rented out yet, so I just cancelled my notice to move out. There is no way in hell I would move there after the shady tactics and the way they treated me.
I am so angry. Yesterday I had a mini-breakdown where I kept screaming and wanting to punch the shit out of my walls, but the walls and my poor hands don’t deserve that. Tears were raining down my face and I just felt so helpless and defeated. Out of all the things that could happen like not being approved for a loan, I never expected this. I never thought in my wildest dreams that my contract would be terminated. I was so looking forward to moving and decorating my new home. In my mind I was already living there. It’s a huge disappointment that I won’t be doing that now.

I know that everything happens for a reason and that fate has intervened for some reason, but it’s really hard for me to see the bright side of this right now. Everyone keeps telling me that this place wasn’t meant to be and I’ll find a new home that’s even better than the last one. And I’m sure they are right, but it’s hard not to be discouraged about the whole thing. I really am trying to keep a positive attitude and not allow my negative thoughts to take over. I just fell in love with that condo and I was so close to moving into it. I’m just afraid that I won’t find a place where it just felt perfect like this place did.

Being Committed

After my high from reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows it was really hard for me to get engrossed in another book. I kept browsing the shelves in the library picking up various books, but never getting quite far into them. I’d read a few chapters and the words couldn’t get my attention so I’d be done with it.

I finally picked up a book that didn’t bore me. Its called Being Committed by Anna Maxted. I liked the premise of the book. A woman gets proposed to by her boyfriend and instead of being happy and jubilant, she breaks up with him for wanting to get married. Can we say commitment issues? (BTW, I have such commitment issues, so I figured I could relate)

Hannah realizes that she has made a huge mistake and decides she wants her boyfriend Jason back. Jason says that he will only take her back if Hannah agrees to work out her issues with her ex-husband Jack. Turns out Hannah has been married before when she was a lot younger and it ended in divorce. Jason believes this is where her commitment-phobia stems from.

Hannah is emotional detached from others and has a hard time maintaining important relationships within her life. But she is willing to try for Jason. They have been together for five years and since he can put up with her, than it must be love.

She gets in touch with her ex-husband, Jack and apologizes for the way their marriage crumbled. He opens her eyes to certain truths about her life and forces her to get to the root of her problems.

Eh, the book was ok. I liked the spin of it being a woman scared of being in a serious relationship instead of the man. But Hannah’s character just wasn’t very likeable. There was nothing about her that made me want to root for her. Even Jason and Jack weren’t that likeable either. Jason seemed like a spineless, whiny man who put up with a shitty relationship for five years. And Jack was a pig-headed, emotional asshole that would be downright mean to Hannah. I don’t see what she saw in either one of them, and I have no idea what they saw in her.

Farewell RockStar!

My dear friend Kiah is shaking things up and moving to the West Coast. She leaves this Monday and will be driving cross country, stoping along the way to visit various cities and friends. I'm so sad to see her go, but am so excited for her because I know this is what she has wanted to do for some time and am proud of her decision to follow through.

Kiah and I became friends while working as part-time promotions assistants for HOT 99.5. We had so much fun going to concerts, movie premieres, and clubs. Eventually both of us secured full-time positions within the company.

Throughout our 3+ years of friendship, I can say that Kiah is one of my favorite people in the world. Anytime we hang out together we always have a blast filled with laughter and great conversation. She has introduced me to such things as Dane Cook, The Junkies, and had tried to increase my appreciation of music that isn't bubble gum pop. We have shared a love of Justin Timberlake, Robin Thicke and great food and wine. I have tried to impart on her my obsessions with Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings. (We never did have our Lord of the Rings movie marathon)

I am truly going to miss Kiah and our adventures at Ocean Shitty, White Water Rafting, our birthday celebrations and random parties. I am going to miss Kiah's laid back, care free attitude, honest opinions and zeal for life. Luckily for me, she is moving to the Bay Area where my brother also lives so I can visit them both. So its not goodbye, just farewell for now. And I promise to see you soon.

Enjoy the photo montage that I created for Ms. Jones.