Weakness

I am weak. So very pathetically weak. I am completely controlled by my id and have no self-control over my carnal desires. I demand immediate satisfaction and when offered a cookie now or two cookies ten minutes later, I will always want the cookie right now. Its been said that patience is a virtue and that good things come to those who wait. I have never understood either of these two adages.

I didn’t even last a full month of my lockdown. I can’t even stand by my own proclamation. And I can’t even blame him for it because I knew exactly what I wanted, and I threw all promises to myself out the window. Damn, me for having no willpower.

I would vow to go on another lockdown, but clearly the first lockdown didn’t do me any good. Therefore I have to get rid of the root of the problem and cut-off all communication with the outside world and shelter myself from him. Really, I just need to not answer my phone when a certain someone calls me and ignore whatever message is left on my voicemail. I need to stick by my word and walk away for good or else I'll always be stuck in this endless cycle.

Let’s see how long I can last. Hopefully a lot longer than three weeks.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Wow, I just finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and it was amazing! J.K. Rowling did an excellent job bringing this series to a close. She was able to incorporate scenes and memories from the first six books, which was an outstanding way to bring this book full circle.

I don’t want to give too much away for the people who have not yet read or finished this book. Deathly Hallows is the darkest and most violent book in the series. Be prepared for characters to die. And even with the darker theme, Rowling was still able to infuse some light, fun moments and it wasn’t all depressing and scary.

I am extremely pleased with this book. All loose ends were tied up and I feel the majority of my questions were answered. There were moments where I was racked with sobs and moments that had me laughing out loud. Rowling is so good with sucking you into the story and painting such a vivid picture with her words.

And now I am going to read the series from start to finish to relive the magic and to see where she sets up her different plot arcs. (I’m such a nerd).

For those of you who have never read Harry Potter, I strongly recommend you give it a shot. Pick up the first book and see where it takes you. You might be pleasantly surprised.

The Final Chapter

I, along with the other crazed fanatics, picked up Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows at midnight on Friday at my local Borders (Do I get cool points because I left a bar at midnight or does that just make the story worse?). Anticipation was building and I was standing there in line, and all the faces of the people around me were excited.

Some came in costume, wearing dark long robes, others were rapidly discussing their theories on Harry’s fate: Will he destroy Voldermort or will Voldermort be triumphant in the end (remember “for neither can live while the other survives”), while others cheered as the book touched their hands. I was a bit more reserved, waiting patiently in line until it was my turn.

Once I had the book in my possession, I gazed lovingly at the cover and opened it up to read the jacket, which stated simply, “We now present the seventh and final installment in the epic tale of Harry Potter.” As much as I wanted to lay in bed and start reading, I knew better, I would never get any sleep if I were to do that and Saturday was going to be a busy day for me.

I want to take my time with this book and enjoy it and not rush to find out what happens at the end. I didn’t start reading until Sunday and have so far read 300 pages (most of the reading done on Sunday). I’m close to being halfway finished with it, and I am excited, scared and sad all at once.

I didn’t jump onto the Harry Potter bandwagon until much later into the game. When I had first picked up my copy of The Sorcerer’s Stone, J.K. Rowling had already written four books regarding young Harry. Several of my friends had read it, and I thought they were crazy to be so engrossed in a child’s book. It was summer and I was bored so I caved in to see what all the hype was about.

I was instantly hooked from page 1. I couldn’t put the book down and ended up reading all four books in less than a month. Each book gripped me and grew more complex and had such great surprises and amazing characters. I finally joined the Harry Potter club. It took me awhile, but I am a life long member.

And now we are at the last chapter in Harry’s life. I cannot wait to see how it will end, but am also saddened that the journey is now over. No more heightened anticipation for the next book, it will all end in these final pages. But I will get to go back and relive every moment and read how the story unfolds from start to finish.

Can You Keep a Secret?

After reading a few serious books in a row, I needed a break from all the stuffiness and wanted a book that I knew I could finish before the release of the new Harry Potter. I went for standard chick-lit and picked up Can You Keep a Secret by Sophie Kinsella.

As you may recall, I have read Kinsella before and this book was exactly what I was looking for. It was fun, humorous and light-hearted reading that I easily breezed through. And I love British novels; they have such a wit about them.

Emma Corrigan finds herself on a plane that is encountering some heavy turbulence. She believes this is the end and begins to spill her deepest, darkest secrets to the passenger next to her. Of course the plane doesn’t crash and she is highly embarrassed, but thinks nothing more of it since she’ll never see this man again.

Wrong! The man next to her turns out to be Jack Harper, the CEO of her company, and he now knows everything there is to know about Emma. She tries her best to avoid Jack, but work keeps bringing them closer together. And she can’t deny her attraction to him.

They begin a budding relationship and things seem to be going well. But then Emma’s worst nightmare comes true when Jack spills all of her secrets on national television. She is hurt, confused, but most of all betrayed by Jack’s actions. Will she ever be able to trust him? Will he ever tell her his deepest secrets?

This was a fun read, but I did find Emma’s character annoying at times. In the beginning she seemed like a pathological liar, but redeemed herself in my eyes by standing up for herself with Jack and not allowing him to walk all over her. It was a cute, fun story, typical chick-lit.

My Stomach is Trying to Tell Me Something

I used to be known as having a stomach of steel. I could eat anything (well except for dairy cause apparently Asians are lactose intolerant and it took me some 27 odd years to find that one out) and nothing phased my stomach. I could eat foods that were improperly prepared or food that had been sitting in my fridge for at least two weeks, and I would be fine. No tummy ache, no gas, no acid reflux, no diaherra, and I would continue on my merry way eating whatever food I so desired.

But lately my belly has been rebelling against me. As I’ve said numerous times, I cannot cook to save my life. God help me, I try and sometimes the meal comes out decent, which I get extremely excited about and it encourages me to push further in my lacking culinary skills.

Last night, I decided to give spaghetti another chance. I was going to learn from my past mistakes and not allow the noodles to boil for 30 minutes, nor was I going to dump an entire pound of noodles into the sauce. I took a handful of pasta and let it boil for 15 minutes, I browned the meat and dumped that into the sauce and allowed that to simmer, and I even had some salad to go along with the meal.

Everything smelled delicious and it didn’t take that long for the meal to come together. I was mighty impressed with my dinner and felt tremendous satisfaction in my cooking skills. But then 20 minutes later, my stomach started feeling queasy, and I got uncomfortable and made a run to the toilet. Not good.

I really have no idea what went wrong with my meal. I made sure to cook the meat completely, I bought new sauce and the salad was fresh too. I have no clue what set my tummy off like that.

What’s even worse is that I have been in pain all day, feeling quite gaseous and nauseated. I ate five chalky Tums, and it didn’t help (I’m beginning to believe that Tums does shit for you). The poor lady next to me on the treadmill must have been dying because I kept burping smelly burps the entire time I was running. Perhaps running wasn’t such a great idea. Either way, I still feel like absolute poo and I keep burping.

Is it really bad that my stomach can’t stomach my own cooking? Is there no hope for me? Maybe I should just quit spaghetti and stick with chicken, although I did get sick last week from eating my leftover chicken dinner at lunch (that I obviously made). Maybe I just didn’t heat it up all the way? Or perhaps my body just hates my cooking and is subtly telling me to just give it up.

I Present a Survey

The great thing about myspace is that people post bulletins all the time. When I get really bored, I'll read one, and here's one I found that I decided to post here. And it made my day go by so much faster when I was at work! Yay for that. Enjoy.

1) What holiday is your birthday closest to?
Valentine’s Day, even though I don’t consider it to be a real holiday. Actually my birthday is its own holiday!

2) Favorite song?
Oooh, that’s a hard one. There are just too many. I’d say my top three are: “Crying” by Aerosmith, Usher’s “You Got it Bad,” and ”I’m a Slave for You” by Britney Spears (shut it)

3) Favorite fruits?
Strawberries, cherries and bananas. I’m eating some strawberries and cherries as I am writing this.

4) Does it bother you when someone says they’ll call you and they don’t?
Hell yes! Its called common courtesy and follow through. If you’re not going to call someone back, than don’t say that you will. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves.

5) Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, boy cooties, pollen, getting up early for work, and cumquats (haha, I said cum and quats which sounds like twats)

6) Is there someone/something you want?
I always want something. Currently I desire a delicious prepared gourmet meal from a really fancy restaurant. I’m also craving a nice spanking.

7) When was the last time you went swimming?
I got in the water at my pool two weeks ago when I couldn’t bare the heat anymore. And I was on the Cheat River Swim Team in May.

8) How many states have you been to?
13 – Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, West Virginia, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Florida, Ohio, Nevada, California

9) How many of the states have you lived in?
2 – California and Maryland. I need to move.

10) Have you ever lived outside of the US?
No, but I would love to live in Europe, perhaps London or Paris.

11) How many countries have you visited?
13 – Thailand, Cambodia, Mexico, Bahamas, Ireland, England, France, Belgium, Germany, Italy, Austria, Switzerland, Netherlands

12) What’s your favorite kind of drink?
Coke, coffee, a nice glass of Shiraz or red zinfandel

13) Does anyone like you?
No clue. There’s this red head at work that always walks by my desk and just stares at me. It’s a bit disconcerting and I want to scream at him, “Stop staring at me you creep!”

14) Do you have any strange pets?
Just the guy I keep chained in my closet, but he’s not really a pet, more the houseboy.

15) What is your dream car?
It used to be the Acura TL, but now that I have the TSX, I’m happy. Maybe my next car will be a BMW or Infinity.

16) What’d you do yesterday?
Went to work, came home and watched the rest of Season 1 of Entourage. Great show, btw, I love Johnny Drama and Ari, and then my new TV addiction, Top Chef.

17) Who is the last person you fell asleep and woke up next to?
Mr. MW back in May. On a regular basis it’s the Weasley.

18) Do you and your last ex have a good relationship?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, um no. I’d go into further detail, but he may still read this and I do not want to start the rounds of hate e-mail again.

19) Where would you want to go on a first date?
I would love to spend a day by the water, whether it’s sailing or canoeing or even just sitting by the water’s edge, and then cap off the night with a nice dinner in a small restaurant.

20) When’s the last time you were kissed?
About three weeks ago by MW.

21) Has anyone ever sang or played a song for you personally?
No, should someone?

22) Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Again, no, am I missing out and just dating the wrong people. Don’t answer that.

23) Have you ever bungee jumped?
No, but I would like to go skydiving. I’m sure it’s the same kind of rush.

24) Have you ever kayaked?
No, but I want to. There’s a place right in Georgetown, where you can rent a kayak for the day and go along the Potomac River. I’m going to have to do that one of these days.

25) Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
Eww, yes, and what makes this story really pervy is that it was the boy’s high school volley ball coach and I was the manager of the boy’s team. I think I was only 17 at the time. Back then it was really gross and inappropriate, now, not so much a big deal (dating someone older than me, its still inappropriate for teachers to be hitting on their high school aged students)

26) What sound are you listening to right now?
Nothing, just the typing of the keys. I need a little bit of quiet every now and then.

27) What’s your favorite song of the moment?
“It Makes Me Wonder” by Maroon 5 and “Because of you” by Ne-yo

28) What was the last movie you watched?
In theaters – Sicko. At home – Catch and Release

29) Where the last place you went besides home?
Work. Le sigh.

30) Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property?
I don’t think toilet papering or larding cars really counts as vandalism.

31) Have you ever been punched?
Not a real punch, but my brother used to beat me up.

32) Did you participate in any sports in high school?
I was on the tennis team and I managed boy’s volleyball.

33) What do you usually order from Olive Garden?
Eggplant Parmigiana or chicken Fettuccine Alfredo

34) Say something totally random about yourself.
I hate sleeping with my closet doors open. I close them every night before I go to bed.

35) Do you have an ipod?
Of course! When I’m really bored at work, I listen to my ipod to make the day go faster.

36) Has anyone said you look like a celebrity?
I’ve been told I look like Lucy Liu, its cause we’re Asian. Shama said I remind her of Kendra from The Girls Next Door. To which I replied, I’m not blonde, nor do I have a boob job, nor am I really that annoying.

37) Are you comfortable with your height?
I wish I were a bit taller.

38) How tall are you?
5 feet 1 inch

39) Do you speak any other languages besides English?
I can barely speak Thai.

40) Have you ever ridden in a limo?
For C. Cook’s b-day parties. Those were good times. There’s a great picture of me passed out.



41) Has anyone you were really close to pass away?
My babysitter, Ms. Irene.

42) Do you watch MTV?
All the time. I love the stoopid Real World/Road Rules Challenges, The Hills, and all the other dumb shows.

43) What’s something that really annoys you?
People that don’t have manners. Saying “please” and “thank you” goes a long way.

44) Do you have a crush?
Yes. There are definitely some people I’d like to crush.

45) Do you drive when you go on long trips?
I didn’t the last time, but I don’t mind.

46) What’s the longest time you’ve ever stayed out?
Probably 6am. And I was usually with Shama and Jessie. Man, those girls can party all night.

47) Have you ever thought you were honestly going to die?
Every time I get in the car with Shama.

48) Were you ever rushed by an ambulance to the emergency room?
No. I’m lucky.

49) Who is the best roommate you ever had?
Best Friend Ever

50) Who was the last person to text message you?
Kiah to tell me that Daniel Radcliffe was on Larry King Live.

Sometimes NiceGuys Don't Win or Lose

I just realized that I never gave an update on the Mr. NiceGuy situation. And for the record, the Va-Jay-Jay is not on lockdown because of him. It’s for another person entirely, and perhaps one day when I have the emotional time and energy, I will divulge the whole torrid affair.

After our fourth attempt at a date, I came to the conclusion that there isn’t any real chemistry between us and it’s not fair to continue going out with him and faking it. So I knew I had to tell him the truth, and get it over with, but I’m the biggest pussy there is and just avoided dealing with it.

I was hoping he would do the fade out. I love the fade out. I have employed the fade out twice, and both times success! The fade out is perfect for passive-aggressives like me. I’m sure I have been on the receiving end of a fade out, but I cannot recollect any examples to vent about. Either way, Mr. NiceGuy is too nice to do the fade out and deserves better than the fade out from me.

We played a nice little game of phone tag, but eventually we were finally able to track one another down and the conversation was so easy. I cannot believe I was so apprehensive about it.

After we did some idle chit-chat, I kinda blurted out, “Before we hang out again, there is something I wanted to say.”

He responds, “I have a feeling I know what you’re going to say, but please go ahead.”

So I tell him that while I enjoy spending time with him, I believe that we have no real chemistry and that’s its just not there.

(I notice when I’m nervous, I tend to talk really, really, really fast. For those of you who know me in real life, I’m already a fast-talker, so you can just imagine that I uttered this in one fastsentencethatwasajumbleofwords)

And to my surprise and delight, he was in complete agreeance with me! There were no hard feelings, and a huge relief swept over me. I felt so silly for thinking that he was pining over me (Vanity Smurf much?) and we ended the conversation on a bright note with promises to hang out again soon.

I actually called him last week to see how he’s been doing. We said that we would make plans soon and that he would call me. But that was over a week ago, and I haven’t heard back from him. Am I on the receiving end of a fade out? How perfect.

The Book of Air and Shadows

The Book of Air and Shadows by Michael Gruber was a bit too long, boring and at times confusing. It had a good premise, so I was very excited to start reading it, but once I did, the book just dragged on and on, and I couldn’t get to the end fast enough.

There are a slew of characters, but the main ones are Jake Mishkin and Albert Crosetti, who are bounded together by an old manuscript that hints at a long lost Shakespearian play. The discovery of such a play would be worth millions of dollars. Russian gangsters are somehow involved and the race is on to find this play and stay alive at the same time.

Like I said, this book was confusing. Gruber jumps back and forth between the narrative of Mishkin and Crosetti and how each discovers the manuscript and the events that lead them to one another. In between their narratives, Gruber allows the reader to read parts of the manuscript that is in Jacobean English, which is really hard to read. I found myself skimming through those parts especially the first part of the manuscript because it offered nothing but background information on a man named Richard Bracegridle, who later was forced to spy on William Shakespeare.

I didn’t really find any of the characters in this book very likeable. Mishkin is a self-centered, disillusioned asshole that has no regard for anyone but himself. Crosetti is naïve and years to one day be a filmmaker and believes that he is living in a walking script. Neither one had any real qualities that I could empathize with.

I picked up this book because it sounded like it would have a DaVinci Code like feel to it. But The Book of Air and Shadows ran stale compared to The DaVinci Code. It didn’t start getting interesting or picked up its pace until the last 100 pages. The first 300 pages or so was just a jumbled mess and I found myself getting very annoyed with the progress of it. This book was a disappointment and I was expecting much more from it.

Lockdown

It’s official. I am putting my Va-Jay-Jay on lockdown. It does not want to come out and play anymore and is tired of stoopid fucktards that don’t appreciate it. The Va-Jay-Jay is saying no to all jerkoffs that wants to have the milk for free. Sorry, but this time you need to buy the cow. The Va-Jay-Jay is exhausted from hearing utterances of sweet nothings and broken promises. It is sick of idiots trying to weasel their way back in it (no pun intended) without really working for it, at least give it some freaking foreplay!

The Va-Jay-Jay is closing house for the summer and will not be making any guest appearances until it gets the rest and relaxation it deserves. It will only accept visits from its dear friend Bob (Battery Operated Boyfriend), who has always treated the Va-Jay-Jay with the utmost respect and dignity.

To all you posers out there pretending to be decent men, know that the Va-Jay-Jay is on to you and your little games. It has called you out and will not fall prey to your honeyed lies, nor will it tangle itself up in your web of deception. Until you can prove to it that you can behave in an adult-like manner, the Va-Jay-Jay wants nothing to do with you. So you best leave it alone and try your game on some other unsuspecting victim.

Happy 4th Memories

In honor of the 4th of July, I am writing about my favorite memories regarding this holiday.

• Growing up my parents always hosted a BBQ on the 4th. We have a pool in our backyard, so everyone came over during the day and went swimming and stayed till the evening to watch the fireworks. I remember one summer; Best Friend Ever and I were chilling in the front yard, sitting on the hood of the cars watching the fireworks. After it was over, we stayed in the front and hollered obscenities at all the cars that drove by and making lewd gestures at them. Our parents had no clue what we were doing, and we thought it was so funny and that we were so cool. I think we were ten.

• The summer I lived at the beach, I had the night off and got to watch the fireworks lying on the beach with my roommates. That was so cool. It was a great night, not too hot or humid, clear sky, and the fireworks exploded over the ocean. So pretty.

• My freshman year of college, BFE, her boyfriend Scott, his friend, and I spent the 4th in DC. Scott’s parents always get a room at a hotel and spend the night in DC during the 4th. During the day, we walked around the National Mall and when it got too hot, we went back to the room and drank and hung out. When it was time to see the fireworks, we picked out a spot, laid out the blanket and waited for night to come. I don’t know what was wrong with the fireworks that night, but the freaking fireworks shited on us all night. The ash and soot from the fireworks kept falling on everyone. By the end of the night we were covered in crap. We went back to my house and went midnight swimming to get all the shit off of us.

• I first started as an intern at Hot 99.5 in the summer of 2002 (I think it was 2002). We used to do promotions at Ocean City, MD. I happened to be spending my 4th of July weekend at the beach with my friends, and said I could work a promotion or two at the beach. I ended up working the promotion at Seacrets, which is this huge outdoor bar and it feels like you’re in the Caribbean. It was so much fun. I got to hang out at a bar all day and drink, and I couldn’t believe that this was my summer internship. Later on that night my friends and I could care less about seeing the fireworks, so we waited until right before the fireworks were about to start and went to Higgins’s Crab Shack and chowed down on some food. We were the only ones in the restaurant, and I bet the staff hated us.

• BFE, our friend Dhrit, and I decided to bike down to DC and hang out in Georgetown during the day on the 4th. The day started off a bit overcast with chance of thunderstorms. It was uber hot and humid, but we decided to take our chances. We pick up the bike trail in Bethesda and make our way south into DC. The skies open up on us, and it starts pouring, and we keep pedaling. The C&O canal is mainly a dirt and pebble trail. So as we’re pedaling, our wheels are just picking up dirt and throwing it back on us. We’re covered in mud, and it looks like we shatted all over ourselves. The rain is just not letting up; its coming down in sheets, but we are so close that we decide to just continue into DC. It finally stops raining once we hit Georgetown, and we are soaked to the bone, with mud all down our backs and legs. We forego hanging out in the city and make the trek back. Mother nature decides to be a prankster and it starts to rain again. It’s probably a good thing we headed back, cause the canal level starts to rise and the trail becomes a bit flooded. We shower, eat, and spend the rest of the day napping and watching movies.