Introducing Mr. NiceGuy

I have such relationship/commitment issues. Those closest to me tell me that I have more guy-like tendencies than girl. I’m all for casual dating and not looking to get too serious with anyone. I enjoy alone time and hate when people make demands on my free time. It freaks me out when a guy starts to talk about future plans because I think he’s moving way too fast. And I seriously don’t know how to date nice guys. My appetite tends to run towards the dickheads.

I briefly mentioned in a previous post that there was this guy at my friend’s wedding who wanted to ask me out. He actually called me and we have gone out on four dates thus far. (From here on out, I’ll refer to him as Mr. NiceGuy.) There is nothing wrong with Mr. NiceGuy, except for the fact that he’s just too nice. What the hell is wrong with me?

So far he has done everything right by normal dating standards. It’s so refreshing – he actually calls when he says he’s going to! And that’s really sad that I think that is so refreshing. He has paid for all of our dinners (I do insist on paying, he won’t let me). After each date, he sets up the next date right then and there (which actually I don’t mind since I’ve been a social butterfly as of late, so it’s better to set up the next date right away or I’ll never fit him in my schedule). He has been a perfect gentleman and has made no sexual advances toward me.

We are able to have steady conversations that are interesting with no awkward pauses or silences where we grasp for subjects to talk about. He’s just really super-dooper nice, and I’m not attracted to him at all. There is no chemistry or sizzle. I’m not eagerly anticipating his phone calls and I don’t get excited for our dates. It really isn’t him, it’s all me.

I bet the minute he tells me that he thinks we would be better off as friends; I’ll get all crazy and be like, “What do you mean, you no longer like me? Why don’t you like me?” The second he starts to shit on me, I’ll be all over him. It’s a sad, sick cycle that I have. I love the chase; I’m addicted to the chase.

So far we have gone on four dates: three dinner dates and one movie date. Last night was our fourth date. During our conversation, I found myself purposely trying to ruin the date, or at least his image of me. The subject of children came up, and I mentioned how I hate kids, but still want my own, and refuse to be a stay-at-home Mom. He’s a freaking pediatrician and loves kids.

I also reveal how I had dinner last week with some girlfriends, three of whom are married, and how I realized I’m not at that point in my life where I want to be married. I told him the thought of getting married right now freaks me out. His response was that people just move at different paces and its ok.

I knew I was trying to scare him away. I could see him analyzing everything I said to him, trying to decide if he wanted to stick around or run in the opposite direction. I felt like such crap for doing it, but once I got started I couldn’t stop my thoughts from pouring out. Mr. NiceGuy took it all in stride, letting me ramble on and on completely understanding my thoughts and opinions.

And it really was a nice date. He dropped me off (he actually makes the effort to pick me up, unlike some other guys I know) and we said goodbye. We have yet to kiss, which I’m ok with, and he has yet to be inside my apartment, again I’m ok with that. I told him to have a fun vacation and to call me when he gets back. Dagger, I should’ve just said to have fun and left the calling back part up in the air. Cause I really have no interest in him romantically. I think we could be great friends.

Maybe I am reading way too much into this and perhaps he doesn’t like me at all and just enjoys eating out as much as I do.