On a Side Note Pt 5 ...

Lately I have noticed that the word "money" has re-entered my vocabulary. For example, I will say, "That's so money!" or "You're money!" or "I bet its money!" This isn't the 90's and I need to stop saying it. Cause, really, I sound like a tool when I say shit like that. Not a good look. I started to ponder how "money" crept back into my verbage and it wasn't until I was stuck in rush hour traffic that it dawned on me. The stoopid Sport Junkies use that phrase all the freaking time! I heard one of the guys say, "I bet you're money. You sound like you would be." Ugh, well at least I know where its coming from and hopefully I can stop this ugly word vomit. But whatevs (haha).

End-of-Quarter Survey

Its the end-of-the-quarter and my brain is fried. I'm tired, I'm grumpy, and I'm not getting enough sleep. This quarter needs to be over and done with so that I can move on to the next one and do it all over again. Seriously, why the hell did they give me over half the US and Canada to deal with. I seriously hate the SouthEast, Central, Mountain and Canada and am shutting off support for the entire nation. Take that MotherFuckas! Send me a fucking PO and I'll turn you back on, but not without some penalties. Fuck with me and I'll fuck with you! But I digress. Kiah posted this survey awhile ago, and I saved it for a time like this, when I just don't have the energy to do anything creative.

1) What time did you get up this morning? Uhhh, 8am. Tried my bestest to get up on time today, but Voldermort (Best Friend Ever and I call our duvet's Voldermort) was to busy sucking the life out of me that I just couldn't bear getting up.
2) Diamonds or Pearls? Both! Actually I prefer pearls.
3) What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Happy Feet
4) What is your favorite TV show? Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Friends, Sex and the City, and Grey's Anatomy
5) What did you have for breakfast? Special K breakfast bar at 11am cause that's when I finally had a chance to breathe and eat something
6) What is your middle name? Jean. Growing up I used to tell people, Jean, like your pants
7) What is your favorite cuisine? French
8) What foods do you dislike? KimChee (Korean), pickles and sauerkraut
9) Your favorite potato chip? Anything by Utz
10) What is your favorite CD at the moment? The Evolution of Robin Thicke
11) What kind of car do you drive? Acura TSX
12) Favorite sandwhich? Anything with roast beef or tuna
13) What characteristics do you despise? Rudeness, selfishness and greed
14) Favorite item of clothing? My MD sweatpants
15) If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Hawaii or Greece
16) What color is your bathroom? White, but my shower curtain is very colorful
17) Favorite brand of clothing? Ann Taylor Loft and Banana Republic
18) Favorite time of day? Naptime or bedtime
19) Where were you born? Silver Spring, MD
20) Favorite sport to watch? March Madness Baby! I still have two teams in the Final Four!
21) What laundry detergent do you use? Tide
22) Coke or Pepsi? Coke
23) Are you a morning person or night owl? Clearly since I can't get up on time to go to work, I am a night owl.
24) What size shoe do you wear? 61/2 or 7
25) Favorite animal? Dogs
26) Any news you'd like to share with everyone? I am in love with Stephen Colbert and want to have his love-child. And I am no longer addicted to Sudko. I have been Sudko free for at least 2 months.
27) What did you want to be when you were little? A Veterinarian
28) Favorite candy bar? Snickers
29) What are your favorite childhood memories? Playing in the woods, riding around the neighborhood on my dirt bike, family vacations to Thailand and the beach
30) What are your different jobs you've had in your life? Babysitter, dogsitter, hostest, Archieves organizer, store manager, promotions assistant, receptionist, sales assistant, account manager, maintenance renewal analyst, hotel clerk
31) What is your favorite color? Blue and purple
32) Nicknames? Kim, Kim-bah-lee, Kimmy, Kimmers
33) Piercings? Ears
34) Eyecolor? Brown
35) Ever been to Africa? Nope
36) Ever been toliet papering? OMG, that's all we did in high school. We did that and larding of cars. So much fun.
37) Ever loved someone so much it made you cry? Yes - twice so far.
38) Ever been in a car accident? Twice, both fender benders. One time my fault
39) Favorite restaurant? Jaleo's, Cheesecake Factory and GrapeSeed
40) Favorite ice cream? Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
41) Favorite flower? Don't have one
42) Disney or Warner Brothers? Disney
43) Favorite fast food restaurant? McDonald's and Taco Hell
44) What color is your bedroom carpet? Cream
45) How many times did you take your driver's test? Once
46) Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Ann Taylor Loft, Target, Borders, and Barnes and Noble
47) What do you do most often when you're bored? Go to gossip websites, IM people, nap
48) Last person you went to dinner with? My brother and his fiance
49) What are you listening to right now? I have the TV on in the background.
50) Do you have a hobby? Reading and eating
51) Lake, ocean or river? Ocean
52) How many tattoos do you have? One
53) Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Single celled organisms
54) What materialistic thing would you ask for if you had one wish to make? My dream house
55) What time did you start this survey? 9:45pm

Shelving It

I am shelving When We Were Orphans by Kazuo Ishiguro. I tried really hard to plow through this book, but it was just so boring. I found myself reading two-three pages at a time and then putting it back down cause it was going nowhere. I’ve heard nothing but great things about Ishiguro, especially his book, Never Let Me Go, but when I went to the library to rent it, it wasn’t in stock. So instead I picked up Orphans, but man, I could not get through this.

The first half of the book just dragged on and on about the narrator’s life growing up in Shanghai and his recollection of his early childhood. Memory is a central theme in this book and our perceptions of our memories and how they may not be as accurate as we thought they were. Which I thought was really interesting particularly after reading my own diaries, but that was not enough to get me through this book. I finally made it to the middle and the book did a 180 and I just couldn’t be bothered to figure out where Ishiguro was going with it. Perhaps down the line I will pick up Never Let Me Go in hopes that it will be better than When We Were Orphans.

Memory Lane

The other day I was doing some cleaning and came across my old journals. I picked one up and decided to take a stroll into my past. The most recent diary dated back to 1999-2000. I wrote entries on again off again throughout those years. Its interesting to go back and see what was going on in my life during that time period; my thoughts, feelings regarding whatever situation I was currently in.

I was in college and felt like my whole life was in front of me. I had a really rough freshman year and I was trying to pick up the pieces. I was lost, confused and angry. I was trying desperately to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. Sophomore year was a rebuilding year for me and it was a tough time. I stumbled around a lot trying to regain a foothold so that I could move forward with my life. Slowly and one day at a time, things got easier and I got my focus back and started to really enjoy college.

Its funny how things change and yet some things remain completely the same. I’m no longer that little wide-eyed innocent girl in college. I’ve grown a lot since then, but there are still characteristics about me that haven’t really changed and make up who I am. I still carry some of those old insecurities especially about my future and where I am going with my life. I was always a little unmotivated regarding my education. I never had a clear-cut path or life long goal or ambition of what I wanted to do. And I’m still in that situation right now. I’m not sure exactly what my career is and where its going to lead me. I’m still waiting for that ray of light to smack me on the head and direct me to my dream job.

During that time I was very insecure and lacked self-confidence. I got caught up in a bad relationship and stayed with him much longer than I should have because I didn’t realize that I deserved better. I was a shell of a person and barely recognized the girl staring back at me. At that point we had broken up for the umpteenth time and I had vowed to never let myself get close again to another person or to love anyone ever again. Sometimes I think I held true to that vow and pushed away a lot of really nice guys because of it.

It was a difficult time, but I think that’s what your early 20’s are all about. Its about self-discovery and learning. I don’t want to make it seem like I was melancholy and depressed all the time. I just used to always turn to my journal whenever I was upset to get my thoughts out instead of bottling it up inside of me. I haven’t picked up one since then, but I guess my blog is almost like one. Its an outlet for my mind and helps clear my head. I kinda like the idea of writing in one again and looking at it five years from now to see where I am and where I was.

What's Your DNA?

I've seen this around on a bunch of different blogs and decided to create my own.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

On a Side Note pt 4 ...

I cannot party like I used to. Last night I went out for St. Patrick's Day and got completely wasted. I should know by now that I cannot stomach shots anymore. And last night I had two! What was I thinking? Well I paid for it. I threw up once in the middle of the night and was hungover all day today. I pretty much laid on the couch all day and am now just finally starting to feel better. Damn getting older. If I was in my early 20's, last night would've been just another night, and I would wake up feeling refreshed and ready to do it all over again. Mental note to self, stop taking shots. Don't fall under the peer pressure of taking shots. Argh, stoopid shots. And stoopid Maryland for losing yesterday. I'm going back to the couch.

California pt 2

Where did I leave off? Oh yes, I was playing with a baby and really could care less for it. This is actually reason number 2 of why I’m not cut out to be a homemaker, but I’ll get to that for another time. The next day, Bogey and I hit the slopes. I originally wanted to visit during the spring, but Bogey convinced me to come out earlier so that we could go snowboarding up at Lake Tahoe.

I chickened out and went skiing instead since I’m much better at it. But not really. Cause I spent most of my time on my ass instead of skiing. I actually forgot how to ski. The first time I came off the lift, I immediately fell. I then forgot how to steer myself, how to stop, and how to pick myself back up when I fell. Quite pathetic. Bogey forced me to go down the slopes though and was patient and followed me the entire time. I was doing really well for a while there, but when we started hitting the steeper slopes, fear wrenched me and took over. I was frozen and forgot about all the progress that I was making earlier. After numerous falls and pit stops, I was finally able to make it down the mountain. It probably took us close to 4 hours to make 3 runs.

The view from the mountaintop was breathtaking. You could see the lake and it went for miles. It was ice blue and looked so calm. The air was so fresh. My lungs felt great breathing it all in. The world looked so peaceful and clean up there. I was memorized by the scenery.

Man was I sore the next day. I could barely lift my arms above my shoulders. It hurt to walk. That day we took it easy and visited Muir Woods, which houses the beautiful redwood trees. The trees were magnificent. They just towered and loomed over us and I felt so small, but in a good way. You definitely don’t see trees like that on the East Coast.

That evening we ate at a sushi restaurant called Sushi Ran that has a month long waiting list! We just happened to walk up before it opened and asked if they had any tables. They replied if we came exactly at 5:30, they could squeeze us at the sushi bar. I’m not a huge fan of sushi and ended up getting this phenomenal scallops dish. It was like butter. The scallops were so sweet and juicy. Delicious!

My last full day there we went shopping in Union Square. Bogey bought me this beautiful Coach bag for my b-day gift. I told you I would collect from him! I used some gift cards and he paid the difference. Isn’t she pretty? I love it!

I also rode the trolley from Union Square to Fisherman’s Wharf to buy my Mom some taffy. I think it’s so cool that they still have the trolley system, but I bet if I were a driver behind one of them I would be pissed.

I love how different California is from the East Coast, especially the Bay Area. The landscape is truly amazing. There are hills, canyons, and beaches all within miles of one another. San Francisco reminds me a lot like a cleaner New York City. It has that great city feeling, but a lot more laid back than New York. And I love being on top of a mountain and looking down to see the Bay Area. It’s so pretty.

Overall the trip was very enjoyable. The weather was perfect and it was great to spend time with my brother. He kept asking me when I was going to move out there. Its definitely tempting right now. It’d be nice to live there and experience something different. Maybe I’ll get over my fear of moving away from here and do it.

California Pt 1

I'm going to post my California trip in sections since I really want to capture my experience but am too lazy to sit down and write it all at once. I blame ADD for that. So enjoy.

I wish I were still on vacation. Visiting California was exactly what I needed. It was nice to get away and spend time with my brother and his fiancé, Ad, and her family. I only checked my work e-mail twice (unfortunately I have to, I get around 35-45 e-mails in any given day. Crazy!) I went there to unwind and just enjoy myself, which I did. All my co-workers commented on how relaxed and refreshed I looked. The weather was absolutely perfect and overall I had an amazing time.

Its been over a year since I’ve seen my brother. He hates coming to the East Coast during the winter cause its so cold and hates coming here in the summer cause its so hot. So he rarely visits, and I haven’t been there in about 4 years. So it was high time I went out there.

There is an 8-year gap between my brother and I. He went to college when I was just 11 and hasn’t returned home since. Basically I grew up as an only child and most people forget that I have a brother. I idolized him when I was growing up. Everything he did, I wanted to do, everything he had, I wanted. I think I drove him a bit nuts growing up, and I know I was a pain in his ass. We weren’t that close growing up. But now that we’re older, I think we have come to appreciate one another. It’s a nice relationship.

The first day I got there we just chillaxed. We took his dogs out for a hike in the canyons. They are so effing cute! I also met my brother’s step-grandson. A little back-story here. My brother’s fiancé is 12 years older than he is (they were the original Demi and Ashton) and she has two kids. Her daughter is my age and her son is two years younger than me. Well her son, Paul, and his girlfriend Nong, and their 6-month-old baby are currently living with Bogey and Ad. What makes this story even better is that Paul kept this from Ad until his girlfriend was about to pop the baby out. Bogey said he saw her once during the beginning stages of her pregnancy and just thought she was getting fat. That’s so typical of my brother.

Anyhoo, so I played with the baby, Mai, for half a second. I held him for a bit, but once he started to get fussy, I was like; ok I’m done with you, where can I drop you off? I’m just not a big fan of babies. They make a lot of noise and smell funny. Except Mai doesn’t really cry so that’s a plus for him. He is a cute baby, but he doesn’t just want to sit in your lap like Weasley, so I got bored of holding him after awhile cause he kept squirming. Man, I’m glad I don’t have a kid right now. I have no patience for such things.

I'll post the next parts later on this week and hope to also upload my pics too. I'm still on West Coast time, but need to try and get some sleep so that I can get some work done instead of obsessing over my bracket and who I should pick. Man, I have no idea who I want in my Final Four. Grrr.

Going Back to Cali

I'm going on vacation again for the next few days. I'll be visiting my brother, Bogey, in California. Hooray!!! Bogey lives right outside of Oakland and I haven't been out to see him in at least 4, maybe 5 years. The last time I saw my brother was a year ago. We're a bad family like that. I'm very excited to go. We plan on going snowboarding up in Lake Tahoe, and my brother tells me its the perfect weather for it because you can snowboard wearing a t-shirt. The last time I went snowboarding was actually with my brother, and man, I'm god awful at it, but looking forward to tackling it again. Not quite sure what else we'll be doing. It will be nice to get away for a few days, and my brother still owes me a birthday gift and you can be sure that I'm going to collect on it. I'll post my experience when I get back along with whatever pics I end up taking. Have a good weekend everybody! See ya when I get back.

And thanks Rachel for taking care of Mr. Weasley for me. He really wants Neo to come over and play with him.

World Traveler

My old co-worker, Dave, quit his job, and is now traveling around the world. If I knew him better, I would say that he's experiencing his mid-quarter life crisis, but doing a much better job than I did. I used to have such a crush on him. And I always got all awkward and stoopid around him. Here's a sample of a could be conversation between us while on the elevator:

Me: Man, the weather sure is crazy right now.
Dave: Umm, yeah, sure.
Me: Cause its all hot and warm and stuff.
Dave: Well we are having a heat wave and its the middle of the summer
Me: Yeah, I know. Crraaazzy.
Dave: Right.

And then all conversation cease and I am standing there twidling my thumbs. Actually that could have been a real conversation between us because that is how tongue-tied I would get around him.

Back to my original point. So Dave has quit his job and is traveling the world. He plans to visit all 7 continent and as many countries as possible. How sick is that? He is recounting all his travels in his blog. I am totally addicted to it and living vicariously through him. He just recently visited Antartica and got to hang out with penguins! I so wish I had done this when I quit my job. Read his blog Dave Ford Does Earth and join in the experience.

The Year of Magical Thinking

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion is a moving and compelling memoir. Didion recounts the year following the sudden death of her husband while their daughter is trapped in a medically induced coma. As she puts it, “Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends. The ordinary instant.” It’s a scary thought and happens all the time when you least expect it.

Her husband, John Gregory Dunne, also a writer, comes home from the hospital after visiting their daughter and John dies that evening from cardiac arrest. In that instant his life escapes him. Didion’s world as she knows it crumbles around her. Her husband is dead and their daughter is lying immobilized by a coma.

The book is one long stream of consciousness as Didion tries to gather the events after the death and how she struggles to live each day without the love of her life. On top of dealing with the grief and the process of mourning, her daughter will have another setback and be in the hospital for months at a time trying to recover. (I have no idea what is ailing the daughter. Not sure if I missed it or if Didion just never did a good job explaining.)

At times the book is hard to follow since Didion writes about people and events without giving much back-story regarding them. The core of the story is the emotions she evokes in the reader during this long heart-wrenching year of her life. She is vulnerable, lost and is trying desperately to hold onto her husband, expecting him at times to walk through the door and return their life back to normal. She analyzes over and over again the moments, days and weeks before the death to see if there was a way she could have prevented it. Through her sadness, there is also anger at John for leaving her.

Didion makes you really think that life can and does change in an instant. Unexpected events and turns happen and there is nothing that you can do to control or avoid it. And all that you are left with is the memories of your loved one and time that you two will never have again. It’s a feeling that I can’t imagine happening and would never want to experience. I don’t know if I could recover from a devastating loss like that.

The Year of Magical Thinking is a raw story written from the heart. It is an emotional read and one that I recommend.

Lost in a Moment

I was just sitting outside on my balcony enjoying the nice balmy day. I started to look up in the clouds and thought how beautiful they looked drifting in the sky. It just moved me and made me appreciate the beauty of the most simplest things in this world. The sky was the perfect blend of blue-gray and I felt so calm and peaceful in that moment. I took time to breathe and take it all in. I need to remember to take moments like this. To just enjoy the beauty that surrounds me on a day to day basis. I tried to capture the moment with my camera. Here are the pics from it.