Bored Out of My Mind

Blah. I don’t know if it’s this time of the year when everything is dead and its dark outside before I even leave work, but I have been feeling very blah. Everyday it’s the same old thing: get up for work, go to work, perhaps do some work, fuck around on the internet, go home, eat dinner, go to sleep and do it all over again the next day. This monotonous pattern is driving me nuts right now. I’m so bored of it and am longing for some sort of change.

Maybe if I loved my job, I wouldn’t hate going into work every day. And I can’t say that I hate my job because I don’t, but I’m not in love with what I do either. I don’t get excited every day to come into work to analyze contracts and create quotes. And I shouldn’t complain because I get paid well to do what I do. It afforded me to buy my new car and to live on my own without a roommate, and it’s a steady paying job and I have great benefits. So I really shouldn’t whine or complain when there are tons of people out there who don’t have a job.

But I know that this is not what I want to do with the rest of my life. The big question is what do I want to do? What is my passion? What is my calling? And sadly, I have no clue. I know I would like to go back to school to get my Masters, but again, what would I get my Masters in? Because I don’t want to randomly go and get an MBA and then not use it. I want to get my Masters in something that will help advance my career. And that’s the problem right there. I currently have a job, not a career.

So everything is very repetitive and tedious right now. I know that as humans, we tend to like having a schedule and pattern to our every day lives. But my every day life is making me feel trapped and suffocated. And usually when I start to feel like this, I tend to make stupid decisions to try and spice up my life, which always ends up getting me into all sorts of trouble. So I’m trying to resist that terrible bad habit of mine and drone through the days of boredom. Maybe I should embrace the fact that my life has no real drama right now. But the temptation to get into trouble right now is so strong, it’s almost hard to ignore. Le sigh.