Random Thoughts

Ok, so I have been slacking with some posts, partly because I’ve been lazy, but also because I haven’t been able to come up with anything interesting. So here’s a look into all the random thoughts that come across my head at any given moment.

• You know its bad when you’re able to recognize area codes and detect what regions they are from. For example, 972 is Dallas, and the first thoughts that pop into my head is, “WTF does Dallas want now!”. 734 (Detroit) is home to one of my dumbest AE’s, and every time I see that area code, I start to cringe and can only fathom what stupid question he’ll begin to ask me. 901 (Memphis) might be my least favorite cause not only does it have another clueless AE, but also one of my worst clients. I really wish my phone had a button where I could just forward all calls to voicemail.

• I had to show my cousin how to use a tampon. She has never used one before and had no idea how to use one. Apparently no one in Thailand uses them because of back-assward thinking that tampons are dirty and something along the lines of virginity. Another difference between our cultures. That is like the craziest thing I ever heard. Its just a freaking tampon, you will still be a virgin if you insert it in you.

• Why the hell am I torturing myself by working out when all I really want to do is flop my ass on the couch with mounds and mounds of potato skins smothered in cheese, bacon and sour cream?

• Seriously, why do I care how I look in a bikini? Its not like I’m getting laid anytime soon, I have no one to impress and have no reason for getting naked.

• Where the hell can I buy the comic book for season 8 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? How awesome is it that Joss Whedon has decided to resurrect Buffy in comic book form! Man, they should bring this show back on-air. SMG is so hot and I miss seeing her on the small screen.

• How the hell are all my weekends booked up for the month of May? I’m really not that popular and yet I am. Ugh, two of those weekends are weddings, one of which I am dreading to go to. But I hear the other one may have a mashed potato bar! It better or I’m going to give the bride a piece of my mind.

• Folks, I have now added grilled cheese to the list of items that I cannot cook. Making grilled cheese is not as easy as it looks. I was able to burn both sides of the bread, while not being able to melt the cheese. Umm, huh? Not quite sure how that happened, but I had to throw it away.

• The new Rhianna/Jay-Z song “Umbrella” sucks cock. Especially the line, “I can be your umbrella, ella, ella.” And of course that is the line that always gets stuck in my head. Why the fuck is she comparing herself to an umbrella? Couldn’t she have picked a better metaphor?

• I should not be left to my own devices because then this happens. In my defense…In my defense…Crap, I don’t have a good defense. Sorry Weasley

• I heart Ryan Gosling. I just heart him. Seriously, go see Fracture. He is yummy-o-delicious. He’s a combination of two of my favorite brothers, with whom I have made out with both on numerous occasions. Le sigh.

• It is so hot outside, which isn’t helping with my hot flashes. I think I’m going through menopause. It’s a bit out of control how often I am getting these hot flashes. Nothing is helping, not me gulping gallons of water or taking ice cold showers.

• I’m really sick of people who complain about the same shit over and over again. Unless you do something about it to make a positive change in your life, than I really don’t have time to hear you bitch and moan. It’s getting kind of old.

• I’m also sick of people who put no effort into our friendship. I understand everyone is busy, I’m just as busy, but you make time for the people that matter. I’m done putting forth the effort.

• Listen Jerkface, there is a reason I never take anything you say seriously. Until your actions start to show me that your words actually mean something, I will continue to doubt your motives and intentions.

• Where has my eye-candy at the gym been? I’ve had no one to look at while I’m jogging.
  I think its time to switch to my spring duvet cover. I hate when my seasons are off.

• Man, my next day off isn’t until Memorial Day! That’s 3 weeks away. How am I ever going to survive? And I really can’t call out because I just called out last month. I think we should be like the UK and get a bank holiday every other week.