Remembering

I wasn’t going to write a post today about September 11. My first reason being that I almost think it’s stereotypical, tacky and obvious. My second reason is that words will never be able to describe the events of that day and the emotions flowing from everyone. It was a powerful day and will forever be engrained in history books to come, and yet no one will ever be able to quite accurately describe that day. But I also feel its important to talk about that day and to never forget the lives that were destroyed and damaged.

I can only write about my particular experience of that day. I would never dare to assume anyone else’s. I was in my 4th year of college, and I was sleeping in on that Tuesday, cause I only had classes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I remember hearing the phone ringing constantly, but I made no effort to pick it up because I was sleeping and my rule of thumb is to never pick up the phone when I’m sleeping. I just assumed it was sales people calling earlier than usual. I finally get up around 10ish, and before I even turned on the TV, I called my Mom at her office. Her co-worker picked up the phone and asked if I was watching TV, and when answered no, he was insistent that I turn it on.

When I turned the TV on, I honestly had no clue what I was seeing. It didn’t seem real. It didn’t seem like it was actually happening. I couldn’t comprehend what I was seeing on the screen. I sat there for a while watching the news, slowly getting dressed. I was by myself in the house. My parents were at work. I couldn’t take being alone anymore watching this unfold on TV. I got into my car and I remember thinking it was such a beautiful day. The sun was out, clear blue skies, perfect weather. I drove to my Mom’s office cause I wanted to be close to her. When I got there everyone was just standing in front of the TV, absolutely silent. It was painful to watch. Some of her co-workers had tears streaming down their face, others were just watching with their mouths hanging open. Everyone had the same look on their face though -- disbelief, horror, pain and anguish.

I don’t remember how long I stayed at her office. When I got home, the first thing I did was call my brother in California. He apparently was the one calling us that morning, cause he had just heard the news about the Pentagon. He was trying to reach us to make sure we were ok, but my parents weren’t at work cause they had a meeting at the bank, so they also weren’t picking up their cell phones, and I wasn’t answering the house phone. We just sat on the phone, watching the news together. I remember seeing the second tower collapse and couldn’t believe that we were watching this happen on live TV. It was surreal.

And after that, I don’t remember the rest of my day. I’m sure I watched the news all day along with everyone else in the US. And I can’t really describe how I felt either. I think I was just shocked by it all, almost numb to it. I felt sad for all the lives that were lost, and the panic and mayhem that was created. And beyond that, I just don’t remember. And so I guess that’s why I felt it was important for me to write about 9/11. It’s only been 5 years, and yet I can’t even remember how I felt. It’s not a day that should be forgotten. Too many lives have been sacrificed since that day, and we should never forget that.