Single and Curious

Bernie over at F-f-fifty Something posed a question regarding dating and how dating has evolved over the years. I’m about to enter my late 20’s (dagger, that sounds hurting (I’ve really got to stop using The Junkies lingo that no one else understands besides Jones)), and I absolutely hate dating. And I’ve only truly started dating within the last few years.

Dating to me seems like such a chore. Some of my friends love dating and believe its so much fun. They love going on first dates and getting to know someone and finding out if your compatible or not. I think it’s just awkward and feel like I have to be on point and put on a good show.

I’d much rather already be in a relationship without having to date someone. It’s the lazy in me. I don’t want to work for it, which probably doesn’t bode well for my relationship, although in my last one it was I working to save it, but that’s another story. I enjoy being in a stable, committed relationship, I just think its really hard for me to get there.

My married friends say I should try on-line dating, that’s how one couple met, but I’m not comfortable with the idea. I hear its really easy and that you can pick and choose who you’d like to meet, and I can say no to the men I’m not interested in, and at the very least get a free dinner out of it, which should appeal to the dinner whore in me. I believe on-line dating is a great concept and has worked for many people, my friend included, but I don’t see myself heading toward that route just yet.

I prefer the old, “I have a friend of a friend” method to dating. A lot of my past relationships came about by meeting a guy through a friend. It’s fairly simply and am also privy to background information regarding the man. If he’s a bad egg, my friend will warn me, and if I still decide to go after him, well that’s my own damn fault (see about a boy).

I’ve reached a point in my life where I am tired of the bullshit games that men and women play with each other, but at the same time I feel like you can’t escape it when you’re first dating someone. I try as best as possible to be direct and honest with a guy, but I feel like that’s intimidating to him, so I try and tone it down a bit, which is then confusing. My co-worker says I’m difficult, but I like Kiah’s term that I’m an “alpha female.” I know what I want and am not afraid to say it.

I have been there and done the friends with benefits (FWB) and while sometimes I think it’s just easier to continue it, I want to be back in a relationship. I see the handful of my married friends, and I wonder what its all about and if its for me. I want to meet someone with whom I may have a future. I don’t want nor need to be married right now; I just need to know that it’s a possibility.