Baby Proof

Can I just say that I love Emily Giffin’s books? I have read her first two novels, Something Borrowed and Something Blue and absolutely adored them. So when her third novel, Baby Proof came out, I knew I would eventually pick it up and read it.

Claudia and her husband, Ben, both agreed when they were dating that neither one of them wanted children. But now three years into the marriage, Ben is reneging on their deal and decides he does want kids. This causes a huge conflict within their marriage, which ultimately leads them to divorce.

Claudia slowly adjusts to being single again and even starts dating one of her co-workers. But through it all, she finds herself missing Ben and wondering if she made the biggest mistake of her life. How much is she willing to compromise to win Ben back? Will she decide to cave in and have kids with Ben?

Baby Proof examines relationships and the struggles to maintain one and the sacrifices people make for the sake of the relationship. How much of ourselves and our principles are we willing to compromise or even give up for true happiness? Is love really enough to sustain a relationship in the midst of controversy? Those are all questions, I found to be central to this book.

Of course, since this books is mainly chick-lit and not a depressing drama, it wraps the situation up a little too nicely and unbelievable by reality’s standards. I have a friend who is in a similar situation and could see having children become a huge issue later on in their marriage. She just got engaged and has told her fiancé from the beginning that she does not want kids and he keeps saying that she’ll change her mind. I know her, she is steadfast about her decision, even donating her eggs to a fertility clinic and when warned about complications that could lead her to being infertile, her response was, “Oh well.” If he thinks that once their married, that her biological clock will start ticking, he’s got another thing coming to him. It’s not going to happen. Granted we are allowed to change our minds, but usually with decisions like this, the person has thought long and hard about it.

I always flip flop about wanting kids. Deep down, I know that I do one day want to have children, but not anytime soon. I can barely take care of myself and am way too selfish to have a child right now, but when I’m more mature and in a stable relationship, I would like to go down that path.

I am personally not fond of kids and actually think child birth is one of the most unnatural things you can go through. To which everyone responds, it’s the most natural thing you could do. I scoff at that. What is so natural about having a parasite growing inside of you, stealing your nutrients, getting bigger and bigger, until you have to push it out of you? I always relate childbirth to the scene in Alien, where the Alien pops out of the guy’s stomach, screaming and bitting. See, I’m not yet in that place where I’m ready to have kids. But one day. My poor future kids.

Having children is just one of the many obstacles that people encounter in their relationships, and I hate this notion that love will fix it all. It takes a lot more than just love to keep a relationship growing and maturing. I was actually shocked at how easy it was for Claudia to run to a divorce lawyer instead of really sitting down with Ben to discuss this roadblock. They never even had a conversation as to why he wanted kids and what was motivating this change of heart. The next chapter she is in the office of an attorney going over her options and settlement. She so easily gave up on her marriage, which is sadly what a lot of people do in this day and age.

I definitely enjoyed this novel, but liked the first two a lot more. Giffin has a way of sucking you into the story. I would be lying in bed, saying ok, one more chapter and then I really need to go to sleep. I could relate to the emotions that Claudia was going through, and one particular passage caught my attention.
“I am pretty sure that I love Ben more than he loves me. I know he loves me a lot. But I still think I love him more … Love is seldom—almost never—an even proposition. Someone always loves more … I happen to love Ben slightly more, which has the effect of making you fear losing someone more than if it were the other way around.”
I totally got what she meant because I have been in that position before. I hope Giffin produces another book soon.