Bleary Days and Restless Nights

I am spent and have had no energy or motivation to do anything. And it’s clearly starting to show in my personal and professional life. By the time I get home from work instead of going to the gym to work out, all I want to do is plop down on the couch and just lay there. I don’t even want to watch tv because that requires focus and I have been living off of microwave dinners for the past two weeks.

I attempt to go to bed early, but find myself sitting in front of this computer looking up random shit on the interwebs. By the time I pull myself away from the putter, it’s close to midnight and I’m too tired to read my book. And I really want to read, but again that requires attention and focus.

Some nights I toss and turn, getting very little sleep. Waking up every hour upon the hour, calculating how many hours I have left until the dawn. By the time I do fall asleep, I am bitter because I know I will have to get up within an hour or so. Other nights I sleep well and still find myself hitting the snooze button for over an hour.

By the time I get to work I am tired, slow and groggy. I try to focus on the task at hand, but my ADD kicks in and I lose my train of thought. I find myself having to reread the same sentence at least five times in a row before my brain processes the information and comprehension settles in. I am doing the bare minimum to get by, hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.

I come home and the cycle continues. I have no idea what’s sucking up my energy. All I know is that for the last few weeks I have been exhausted. I need something that will kick my ass back into gear and reenergize myself. But for now I am going to crawl into bed and hope that I feel refreshed and awake in the morning.