Then We Came to the End

I have been very slow to finish a book lately. Blame it on having a social life and just being tired at night to sit down and pick up my book. I had heard many great reviews about Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris, so I was looking forward to reading it. After I was done I was left with an “Eh” feeling about the book. It wasn’t a bad book; it just didn’t live up to all the hype.


Besides the great reviews this novel got, I also picked up this book because the main story was focused around office life. In our work driven society, we spend the majority of our lives at our jobs, grinding all day. I knew I would be able to relate.

The story is set around an advertising firm in Chicago that is going through layoffs. The employees are always at alert and nervous over whose going to be next to “Walk Spanish Down the Hall.” Obviously no one wants to be next and the employees spend mass amounts of time deliberating and gossiping about one another. Its no wonder the company is going through layoff, no one does any really work.

Ferris decides to tell the story in first person plural, the narrative “we.” As he puts it,

“Companies tend to refer to themselves in the first-person plural – in annual reports, corporate brochures, within meetings and internal memos, and, in particular in advertising. What used to be the “royal we” might now be thought of as the “corporate we.” It’s not just a company’s way of showing unity and strength; it’s also a matter of making everyone feel as if they’re a member of the club.”

Every company that I have ever worked for the Big Boss Person always refers to the underlings and themselves as “we”; “We had a stellar quarter” or “Although we accrued some financial losses, we will recover” and so on and so forth. I think it was a brilliant idea to write it this way and truly pulls the reader in and makes them feels like their an employee within the organization.

The story can be confusing because its jumps from one person’s story to the next and you can never tell whether an event happened in the present or the past. One minute someone has been layed off, and the next paragraph the narrator is telling a story about that person from last week. It can be hard to follow.

I believe Ferris does a great job of capturing an office’s dynamic between all the petty bullshit, mundane tasks, and the real camaraderie that co-workers feel towards each other. I can honestly say that some of my best friendships have started through my job. I have met and worked with a lot of amazing people and have developed wonderful friendships with them. Working with people creates a unique bond and I have kept in touch with a lot of my past co-workers.

This book also reminds me that work isn’t everything or it shouldn’t be. Its good to have a nice balance between work and play; on your deathbed you don’t want to assess your life and realize that all you’ve done is work and you never got a chance to truly live.

Cocktails for Three

Cocktails for Three by Madeleine Wickham, who also writes under Sophie Kinsella, is a fun chick lit novel, light and breezy as I like to say.

The novel centers around three friends who all work together at The Londoner (a magazine). Maggie is the career driven editor who is about to have her first baby and is nervous as hell about it. Roxanne is the freelancer who has been having a secret affair with the big boss man for the last six years. And Candice is a writer who has a heart of gold and feels guilty for her conman father who has screwed many people over the years.

The girls meet up once a month to gossip and catch up over cocktails. And that’s where Heather infiltrates their lives. Candice immediately recognizes her as a childhood friend whose family lost everything because of her father. Candice feels immense guilt over her father’s misdeeds and decides to make it up to Heather by getting her an interview at the magazine. Maggie and Roxanne are skeptical of Heather and warn Candice to be cautious.

Candice of course does not listen to the friendly advice and also invites Heather to move in with her (who does that by the way?). Little does she know that Heather is scheming to ruin her life. Maggie has her own problems. After the birth of her daughter, she cannot cope with motherhood and feels inadequate caring for her child (postpartum depression anyone). Roxanne is offered a great job opportunity in Cyprus and is deeply upset when her lover tells her to take it not. She does not know that he is dying from cancer.

They meet up for their monthly cocktail night when Candice drags along Heather. Maggie and Roxanne are not happy and this causes a rift between the three friends. The night ends badly with all three ladies upset at one another.

Eventually Heather’s shows her true colors and Candice is suspended from work for expense fraud. Candice has no one to turn to since her big fight with the other girls and must figure out how to clear her name. Will her friends come back to her in time?

I only picked up this book because I saw that Madeleine Wickham also writes as Sophie Kinsella, and I love Kinsella’s work. While I enjoyed Cocktails for Three, I think I prefer the writing style of Kinsella better. I always find it interesting when authors have multiple pen names. I know that some do it so that they can branch out of their typical genre and want to explore a different writing format or express themselves in another manner that may not be suitable to their typical reader. But in this instance it just seems weird that Kinsella would have another pen name in the same genre. The only real difference that I pick up on is that Wickham seems to be more mature chick lit, while Kinsella seems more whimsy hipper chick lit.

I may have to read them back to back to see if I can pick up any more differences between the two. I’m sure there has to be since she uses a pen name. I wonder which one is really her; maybe neither is her real name. Kinsella is definitely more successful and well known and has written more books.

"Singing in Korean, He's Singing in Korean"

OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I cannot believe I missed this! For the last two years, Stephen Colbert has lost out to Korean pop superstar Rain in the Time's 100 Most Influential People Award. In 2007, Stephen came in 2nd behind Rain, this year he finished 3rd behind Rain.

Stephen mocked Rain by doing his own Korean pop video which can be seen here.



Stephen from there challenged Rain to a dance off, which apparently happened last week!!!! I cannot believe I missed this. You have to watch this. It's so freaking awesome. I heart him.

Please Don't Stop the Music

I got my ipod nano back in 2006; it was an early birthday present to myself and I wanted to have it for my trip back to Thailand. My nano can hold around 1000 songs and sadly I only have 463 songs on it. I think the last cd I uploaded on it was The Evolution of Robin Thicke.

I mainly use my ipod now to download the podcasts of The Junkies so that I can listen to them when I’m at work or when I work out. I have never downloaded music from itunes. I used to download music the illegal way, but am too paranoid that the recording industry will come after me and demand shitloads of money from me.

So instead when I want to listen to a song, I go to youtube and play the video of the song I’m feening (I don’t think that’s how you spell that) to hear. Not only do I get to hear the song, but I also get to see the video, and for free! It’s silly! It’s also probably ghetto, but whatevs.

I seriously never listen to music on my ipod anymore. Occasionally when I’m in a bad mood or falling asleep at work I’ll listen to music to bump up my mood or wake my ass up. The few times I do this I realize I skip through a lot of songs. Its time to clean up the ipod and get rid of ditties that just shouldn’t be on there.

But I’m getting sidetracked. I came across Ne-Yo’s video called Closer and it’s my new favorite song. Its so sexual and hot and so Ne-Yo. He looks good in the video and I love the mix of slow beats and then ramped up club beats throughout the song.

From there I started to listen to Ne-Yo’s other songs like Because of You and Sexy Love and realized that each song reminded me of a different guy and I couldn’t help but smile and dance around crazily to each one of them.

Because of You reminds me of The Boy during our sexual high. All it took was hearing his voice and I was turned on, with his lazy drawn out way of saying my name, I was in my car headed over to his place. My favorite line, “I love the way you feel, just got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real. I need it when I want. I want it when I don’t.” He could just look at me and I wanted him. Our sexual attraction was strong, sometimes even too strong for me. And I was completely and thoroughly strung out on him and I could care less. He was my drug and I needed the fix constantly.

Sexy Love always makes me think of The Ex. My favorite line, “She makes the hair on the back of my hand stand up, just one touch.” When it was good between us, it was amazing, nothing compared to it. I was soaring when I was with him. I finally got what it meant to be in love. When we were together, we could never stop touching each other. A part of us always had to be touching, like we were afraid to let go. I just remember staring into his eyes and seeing myself in them and I knew I could get lost in there for hours and I knew there was no other place I’d rather be.

I think its great how songs can transport you back in another lifetime. I also think its interesting that two Ne-Yo songs remind me of two very different people. Check out Closer below.

The Other Boleyn Girl

After seeing previews for The Other Boleyn Girl, I knew I wanted to read the book by Philippa Gregory first. I have always been intrigued by this time period mainly because when I first stared reading trashy romance novels, they were always set during either King Henry VIII’s reign or Queen Elizabeth’s reign. The Other Boleyn Girl was no trashy romance book, but a historical fiction told through the eyes of Mary Boleyn, who was once mistress to King Henry VIII and watched the rise and fall of her sister Anne Boleyn.

A brief history lesson, Henry Tudor broke free from the Roman Catholic Church, so that he could set aside his marriage to Katherine of Aragon, and instead marry Anne Boleyn. This was huge during that time period because the Church no longer held authority and Henry seized all the power. His whims ruled everything and to question Henry could result with your head on the chopping block.

Mary is the narrator of this story and from the beginning she touches upon the rivalry between her and Anne. As Mary states, “There could hardly be a world for me without Anne, there was hardly world enough for us both.” They are night and day from one another. While Mary is fair and angelic, Anne is seductive and bold. But both are Boleyn girls and must heed to their family’s never ending ambition.

First Mary becomes Henry’s mistress and Anne must serve and help Mary advance the family name. Mary keeps the king’s attention for a few years and even has two children by him. Eventually his attention wanes and he begins to sniff around the other Boleyn girl. Soon Mary is commanded to step back while it is Anne’s turn to make a play at the King.

Anne will not settle for being Henry’s whore like her sister and instead has sights for the throne. Anne’s ambition knows no end and she will stop at nothing to achieve her goal. As history notes, she does become Queen, but the price is deadly. After giving birth to Princess Elizabeth, Anne knows that her next child must be a male heir. Unfortunately she cannot carry a child to term after that and is accused of witchcraft, adultery and incest where she is found guilty and beheaded.

Mary is a bystander in all of this and must watch in horror the choices her sister makes to accomplish her desires. Upon watching her sister’s beheading, Mary states, “And then the sword came down like a flash of lightning, and then her head was off her body and the long rivalry between me and the other Boleyn girl was over … He [the King] had taken my other self: Anne.”

Philippa Gregory did such an amazing job painting a vivid picture of this time period. While I felt the book ran a little long, I did love all the detail and attention she put into the story. She stayed true to the historical timeline and depicted the events as she imagined how they occurred.

I loved the relationship between Anne and Mary. They were sisters and cared deeply for one another, but also their worst enemy at the same time. They always tried to best each other and in the end, Anne paid the biggest price for it. Anne was such an interesting character to read. You could feel her determination and strength but also her desperation to maintain her hold on the King and how it drove her to do inexplicable acts. I also liked how Gregory chose to use Mary as the narrator. Her docility and sweet manner was a nice disparity to Anne and it played out well in the story. Until this book, I never even knew there was another Boleyn girl. History only writes about one.

There are so many other themes involved with this novel that I could go on and on about each one. Gregory touches upon homosexuality, women’s rights, the sanctity of marriage, socio-economic classes and so forth. The book is well balanced and I really enjoyed reading it. It gave me a keener insight into Henry’s reign and I want to pick up her novel, The Virgin’s Lover, which is about Henry’s daughter, Queen Elizabeth.

Clock Strikes Midnight

“For the first time, in a long time, I admit it; I want to be in a relationship. It’s taken me awhile to come to this realization. I’m usually the first girl to praise the values of singledom and that you do not need a man to make you happy. And I’m still a firm believer that the only person that can make you happy is you.

Now that I’ve hit some personal accomplishments such as buying my first home and climbing the corporate ladder at work, I want to have someone special to share these joys with. My relationship clock is ticking and I feel the passing of every second.

When I come home, I notice how very quiet and empty my place feels.”

This was originally what I was writing about my single life and how I want a relationship and then I had a semi-date on Wed and I’m rethinking everything. Ok, maybe not everything. Regarding my semi-date on Wednesday, while it was a fun evening, the timing is off. If perhaps this was three years earlier or maybe three years into the future, things would be different. Now I’m getting sidetracked.

Let me backtrack here. An old friend/co-worker was in town this past week. When we worked together we had a steady flirtation and even after I left the company and he moved, we still kept in touch. So naturally when he was in town, we met up for dinner.

We flirted throughout dinner and by the end of the night ended up making out in the car like teenagers. He was kissing me with so much passion and need and I completely freaked out. It was too much for me. I felt suffocated and trapped. I couldn’t handle the emotions behind the kiss. And there was a lot. I mean, we have been building this flirtation up for years and I was surprised by how much he wanted me. I probably shouldn’t have been.

Of course the minute he becomes available, I want to run screaming in the other direction. It’s so typical of me. But to be fair, logistically it can’t work right now. We don’t live in the same state, and at least for me the timing isn’t right. The crush I had on him before isn’t there for me now. I still admire and respect him and think he’s a great catch, and maybe further down the road I will feel differently. But right now, it doesn’t feel right.

And now I’m torn because I play the game so well and know exactly what to say to keep a guy interested, but the minute I feel him getting to close, I balk and panic. I know its because I’m scared of getting hurt and I need to be open to that possibility. I’ve just been burnt badly the few times I’ve done it, and it makes me more frightened for the next time.

But I meant it about what I wrote earlier before my date. I have been lonely for a while and I do want to share my life with someone. I see my friends that are married and how much love and trust that they have for one another and I know that I want that. I want to come home and share how my day has been with him. I want to hear about his day. I want us to make dinner together and then sit back on the couch and relax together. And then I want to walk up the stairs and fall asleep together.

And I know that before I can do any of this, I need to stop playing the games. I need to stop the flirting and stringing along and open myself up to whatever may come. No more pushing guys away the minute they start to really get to know me. Because I’ll never get what I want if I keep doing this.

Tick Tock Tick Tock

My close friend gave birth earlier this month to a beautiful baby girl. Both Mother and Daughter are doing great! I’m so happy for her. I know that she will make a great Mom and her husband will make a great Dad.

Her baby is so precious, but seeing how tired she looks, I just know that I’m not there yet. I’m way too selfish and can barely take care of myself; I cannot imagine being responsible for another life. I know that emotionally I’m not ready to be a mother either. I need to fix some of my personal issues first before I take on the task of rearing children.

I know I’ve said it before that I just don’t like kids and mainly its because I don’t know how to relate to them. Even when I was younger and used to baby-sit (I was actually probably only 5-8 yrs older than my charges), I had a hard time interacting with them. I don’t know how to kid it down and bring it on their level.

Kids make me nervous because I feel like they can see right through me and know that I’m a complete fake. There are no fooling children, they observe so much and can be brutally honest. They also look like the suck the life out of you, are needy and dependent.

But I do want one. I want to experience what its like to be a mother and to love another being more than life itself. I want to experience the joys and triumphs of parenthood along with the trials and tribulations that come with it. My biological clock has not started ticking yet, but I do feel it winding up. It’s slowly preparing itself.

Seeing my friend and her new family, I was envious. Not because I want a baby right not, but I want that special bond that her and her husband share. The way they look at each other, the intimate smiles they give, the sweet way he takes care of her because she’s so tuckered out from being with the baby all day. I want that. I want to find someone I love so much that I want to make a baby with him.

My biological clock isn’t ticking for a baby, but it is ticking for a relationship …

To be Continued ...

Another Day, Another Meme

Yay, another meme. I got this off of Bernie's blog. Meme's are such great time wasters and space-taker-uppers.

You're Feeling: Hot, very very hot. Stupid freaking hot flashes. I'm really starting to believe I have a hormonal imbalance.

To Your Left: "To the left, to the left ... I could have another you in a moment" ... Oh wait, that's another to the left. My living room is to my left.

On Your Mind: Nothing and everything ... knowing when to let go ... knowing when its time to move forward ... knowing when to not overthing every potential situation that I could get myself into.

Last Meal Included: Butternut squash ravoli, pretty tasty actually for a microwave dinner.

You Sometimes Find It Hard To: Not stress and worry about everything ... to sit still and take in the moment.

The Weather: Gorgeous and 70's, which I could be outside all day enjoying it.

Something You Have a Collection of: Coats and jackets.

A Smell That Cheers You Up: Clean towels and honeysuckles.

A Smell That Can Ruin Your Mood: Cigars.

How Long Since You Last Shaved: Last night I actually shaved my legs for the first time in two weeks.

The Current State of Your Hair: Messy and kinky.

The Largest Item on Your Desk/Workspace (not Computer): My glass of water.

Your Skill with Chopsticks: For an Asian, its pathetic, but I am getting better.

Which Section do you Head to First in a Bookstore: New fiction.

Something Your Craving: My 2nd income.

Your General Thoughts on the Presidential Race: Color me not interested. As long as the Dems can overthrow the Repubs, I'll be happy.

How Many Times Have you Been Hospitalized This Year: Zippy.

Favorite Place to go for a Quiet Moment: My car so that I can drive or my balcony.

You've Always Secretly Thought You'd be a Good: Cook, apparently, I'm not.

Something That Freaks You Out a Little: That I'll never reach my fullest potential or that I won't even realize it when I do, I guess that freaks me out a lot. Rising gas prices freak me out a little.

Something You've Eaten Too Much of Lately:Fast food, current favorite is Five Guys.

You Have Never: Made a meal I actually enjoyed.

You Never Want to: Stop Dreaming.

On a Side Note Pt 11 ...

- I really hate people who drive 60 miles or less in the fast lane of the beltway. Get out of my fucking way and move over to the slow lane. Why the hell are you even driving on the beltway?

- I really want to update my spring wardrobe. I work with a bunch of cute young girls, who dress uber-well and I feel frumpy standing next to them. I still have $100 gift card from my b-day that I have yet to use, but am not spending it yet until I lose some weight.
This is my motivation to start working out again.

- I did swim laps last week. About died after it was done. And I think I was sweating while in the pool. When I was finished my face was bright red, I was gasping for air, and for a moment there I thought I was about to pass out. My muscles started tightening up as soon as I got out of the water. So hurtin.

- I love my new couches. I finally have nice furniture and can invite people over without feeling embarrassed. People can actually sit down and not sink to the bottom of the sofa. My favorite things to do now are lay on my couch and read my book or take a nap. Even Weasley loves the couches and snuggles next to me while I’m laying on them. I have spent my tax return before I even got it, but they are so worth it.

- I know that The Hills is completely fake and yet I cannot not watch it every Monday. I have to know what is going on in the lives of LC and Heidi even though I usually know because of Perez Hilton. I don’t believe for one moment that Heidi and Spencer are on a relationship vacation or that Lauren could have gotten the job at People’s Republic if she didn’t have her own tv show. But I’m obsessed with the show and next week Stephen comes back and I kinda heart him.

- Seriously why the hell do the goddamn birds chirp so loud in the morning? Don’t they realize that not everyone is an early riser hunting for the worm? Every morning I wake up to their incessant chirping and I want to throw rocks at them to shut up.

- Heat apparently does rise and my upstairs is warmer now that the weather has gotten nicer. When I go to sleep, I need it to be an icebox. I like to be snuggled under my duvet even during the summer. The last few nights, I’ve had my windows wide open, my ceiling fan on high, and I was still hot. I had to go get my small fan and will now try having two fans blowing air on me to see if it helps me sleep better.

- I have not had any serious action since November. I am coming upon my six-month rule. I refuse to go longer than six months without. If I go longer than six months I become very grumpy. I will have to rectify this situation soon.

- I am trying to come up with my “30 Things to do Before I Turn 30” list and so far have only eight items listed. I’m stumped and can’t think of anything else I want/need to do. Does that mean I’m boring?

- My favorite sound in the world is listening to Weasley purr as he sits in my lap while I pet him. It’s so soothing. God, I need a boyfriend.

- My ten-year high school reunion is coming up and I cannot be bothered to go. Actually I know I will not be going because its BFE’s birthday weekend and I would rather be out with her celebrating her b-day than seeing the 90210 crowd that still thinks their the shit.

- I cannot believe ten years has gone by since I’ve been in high school. It seems like yesterday and a lifetime ago. What an interesting time. My high school experience can best be summarized as bumpy, but I also had some great times during those four years. Knowing what I know now, would I change certain things, and I’d have to say YES! But there really is no point in playing the “What If” game.

- I wish I wasn’t such a Nervous Nelly and didn’t over think every potential situation that I can get myself into. I wish I could learn to not be such a control freak and just breathe and let things play out naturally instead of trying to mastermind and determine the outcome. I think I would have more fun if I allowed myself to do that.

- I cannot remember the last time I played in the rain. I need to do that soon.

- I need to figure out what I want out of my life and stop trying to please those around me. I need to live for me and not for my family or friends or work or past loves. I try to hard to please everyone else and end up forgetting about myself.

- I am looking forward to a vacation. Not sure when, where or how I’ll be taking that vacation, but I can’t hardly wait for it.

- Sex and the City is coming to theaters on May 30! I have been gearing up by watching all the old season. Right now I’m in the middle of season 4 where Carrie gets back together with Adian only to break his heart all over again. Sometimes I hate, hate, hate Carrie and just want to smack her for being so self-centered. I love the show and really hope the movie does it justice.

- Gas prices are soaring and it’s killing me. The other day it cost me $50 to fill up my tank! $50 is a nice dinner out or a nice pair of sandals! $50 should not be what it costs to fill up my tank!

- I introduced my coworker to I Can Has Cheezburger; he has in turn introduced me to I Has a Hotdog. Hilarity ensues, and we never get any work done. Seriously, I need a boyfriend.

Punting Monday

Since I'm tired and have been punting all day at work, I decided to do the picture survey on Kiah's and Jamie's blog.

1) What is your relationship status?

2) Who is your celebrity crush?

3) Who is your favorite band?

4) What is your favorite movie?

5) What kind of pet do you have?

6) Where do you live?

7) What do you do at work?

8) What do you look like?

9) What do you drive?

10) What's your favorite tv show?

11) Describe yourself:

12) What's your name?

13) What's your favorite candy?