Conversations with My Mom and My Away Message

My Mother keeps IM'ing me during the daytime when I'm at work, cause she likes to read my away messages. I kid you not. Here is what she wrote me today.

tpsombat: Hi baby

Auto Response from ksombat: It has been such a constant battle waking up these days. At work, hopefully not sleeping at my desk.

tpsombat: of cause you can not do that (sleeping at your desk) Go to bed at 9:00 event 8:30 and get up fresh at 6:30 or event 7:00 am. (if you have a planty of time) to get to work on time. Keep doing this because when you have to babysit my babies (including the Tweetie) you have a long way to go to work.

I love my Mom!

Happy Bithday!

Happy 26 1/2 Birthday to me! Happy 26 1/2 Birthday to me! Happy 26 1/2 Birthday to me! Where are my presents?!

Oh yeah, Happy Birithday to my older brother, Bogey. He turned 35 on my 26 1/2 Birthday.

Promoting Helmet Safety

I fell off my bike. It happened in slow motion. One minute I was pedaling, minding my own business, the next I’m careening out of control trying to balance myself, but failing miserably. I’m trying to remember exactly how it happened. I was behind Best Friend Ever, with Dhrit on my left hand side. I noticed that my front tire was getting incredibly close to BFE’s back tire. I’m not sure if she was slowing down, but I realize that in a moment our tires are going to clip, which would send both of us down the path of disaster. Instead of taking us both down, I attempt to slow myself. For some reason I thought it would be smart to put my feet on the ground to stop myself. I was probably pedaling at a speed of 15-20 mph. It didn’t occur to me at the time to just grasp the brake handle to slow down. Well clearly putting my feet on the ground was not the right answer. As soon as I did it I knew I shouldn’t have. I could feel myself losing control of the bike and was trying desperately to regain control. But alas, I did not. I started to yell, and slowly I felt myself tumbling to the ground. I landed on my shoulder, smacked my head, and my bike toppled on top of me. Luckily I was wearing my helmet or I might have had a minor concussion. I actually felt my head hit the ground and smack back up, but the helmet absorbed all the impact. Surprisingly I wasn’t badly injured. I had a few cuts and scrapes on my knee and my shoulder will most likely have a nice bruise. The best part was that there were these two kids behind us, and earlier the little girl had stopped in the middle of the trail and her Mom was behind us screaming, “Don’t stop.” I guess the Mom didn’t want her to cause an accident by abruptly stopping and causing the people behind her to collide into them. So as I was falling over, I hear the little boy yell, “Don’t stop! Keep moving!” That was awesome. So boys and girls, the lesson of the day is to always wear your helmet when you are biking.

Learning to be a Homemaker

Living alone is clearly turning me into Suzy Homemaker. Living alone is forcing me to really fend for myself and to not rely on my roommate to take care of me. Before if there was a problem or something was broken, I knew my roommate would fix it or take care of it. But now if something needs to be done, I have to do it all by my lonesome self. And if I don’t do it, then it will never get done.

For instance, since I have no furniture in my living room, I decided that this would be a good time to steam vacuum my carpet. My carpet was really gross and I tend to vacuum it once in a blue moon. When I walk on it, it feels nappy and sticky. And since I have been sitting on the floor I have really noticed how disgusting it is. And its amazing how I have no furniture, but the living room looks like a tornado went through it strewing everything I own all over the place. I seriously don’t know how to pick up after myself, but I’m going to work on that.

So I went and rented the steam vac from Giant and set to work cleaning my carpets. First, I had to pick up all my shit off the floor and find a new place to dump it. Currently its all residing in my room since I also wanted to steam vac my roommate’s old room before I move into it. Then I had to dry vacuum it to pick up any dirt or hair. By the way, I love my new vacuum cleaner. It’s a bagless Dirt Devil, and its so freaking cute and it always amazes me to see how much dirt, dust, and hair it can pick up. Who knew I was such a dork?

Once that was done, it was time to get down to business. The steam vac was actually really easy to work once I actually read the directions. I hate reading directions. Usually when I get something new, I just start pushing all the buttons until I figure out how to work it. I thought it was going to take me forever to clean my carpets, but it only took about an hour to finish both rooms. The steam vac uses a lot of water though, so I did have to refill it a few times. And it was so foul to see all the dirty black water every time I emptied the thing. It grossed me out thinking that I usually plop my ass on the carpet all the time.

And now that it’s done, I’m really proud of myself for taking on the task and actually finishing it. I didn’t ask for any help. I did it all by myself, and I think my carpet looks so much cleaner. I couldn’t get out all the nastiness, but it doesn’t look as bad as it did before. I really am going to do my best to keep my apartment clean and orderly. I need to start picking up after myself instead of waiting until I have piles accumulated everywhere. I’m going to implement my new cooking skills and cook a meal once a week. I might be Suzy Homemaker worthy after all.

Damn Ducks!

For those of you who miss me telling stories about my Mother, I have a new one for you. I was over at my parent’s house for dinner cause my Mother kept bugging me to come over. She called me at work today asking if I was going to come over to see my Baby. My dog Bear (whom I love to pieces, I could hug him and squeeze and love him to death – settle down there Lenny) had cut his paw the other day and was limping around because of it. He’s so whiny and such a drama queen. Anyhoo, off on a tangent.


We have a pool in our backyard and earlier this summer we had two ducks that would come chill in our pool and backyard. It was a couple. They’d take a morning dip in the pool, then an afternoon nap in the sun on the edge of the pool. After they woke up from their nap, they’d waddle over to the bird feeder and feast on dinner. My Mom loves those damn birds. She’d worry about them if they didn’t show up one day and then she’d worry about them if they stayed too long at our place.




So the ducks haven’t showed up in awhile. Maybe they found a new pool to hang out in, or maybe they realized that our pool isn’t filled with dirty mucky water and has no fish or whatever the hell ducks eat and went to a real pond. Who knows? My Mom has finally stopped worrying about them until I made the mistake of asking about them. My Dad told her that the ducks have flown south for the summer and that they’ll be back next year. But in typical Dad fashion, he also said that if they don’t come back next year they are probably dead cause a hunter shot them. Seriously, no joke. I was on the ground laughing so hard when she told me this. I’m actually crying right now as I write this, and I can’t breathe cause I’m laughing so hard. Why on the earth my Dad would say this to my Mom, I have no clue. But I just found it so funny that he would tell her that, and now she’s worried cause I laughed so hard about it. It reminds me of something I would tell a child to see what kind of reaction I would get out of them. My poor Mom, I hope she doesn’t think about this all night.

When I have more Mom stories, I will continue to post them.

Words I Learned

Over my weekend at the beach, I learned some delightful new vocabulary such as biscuit hips and saggits all thanks to Urban Dictionary. One of my favorite words and apparently one of my favorite recreational activities is dinner whore.

Dinner whore - A girl who is exclusively after a free meal

or an expensive gift. She actively seeks out dates with

well-off men who will wine and dine her at upscale restaurants.

She is usually physically attractive enough to make the man fall

for her feminine wiles. She will rarely have sex with these men,

until they spend a certain number of dollars on her. Nobody

knows exactly what that number is, so the man keeps spending

and spending, while the dinner whore keeps living it up.

When my friends Kiah and Stacy said that word and said it was me, I had to agree with them. My motto has always been “A girls gotta eat!” I have been known on occasion to go out on “dates” with guys for some grub. Is it my fault that these suckers, I mean gentlemen, want to take me out for a nice dinner? Can’t we just be enjoying each other’s company? Does that make me a dinner whore? Not sure I know the answer to that question.

I like to eat, I enjoy good food, and since I don’t usually cook dinner for myself, I tend to eat out a lot. I also enjoy eating out with other people and sometimes its dinner with the opposite sex. And sometimes the person I am having dinner with offers to pay for me. I try to force my credit card on the bill, but most times, the card is denied and is safely tucked back into my wallet. Ehh, what are you going to do?

But that is why I started to take cooking lessons, so that I won’t have to whore myself out anymore. And I even attempted to cook last night. I made the fish dish, and it turned out decent. Not as good as it was in class, but it was edible. I still believe it took way too much time and effort and clean up for one person. So maybe I won’t hang up my dinner whore ways just yet.

Favorite Beach Memories

Since I am too lazy to write about my weekend in Ocean Shitty, I thought I would write down my favorite memories of the beach in no particular order.

• Funnel Cake
• Getting my tattoo during beach week with my bestfriend Christa. We both got ours on our ankle and she was supposed to get a turtle while I got a butterfly, but when we were looking at sketches, we ended up switching. So no, I did not get a turtle tattoo cause I went to the University of Maryland. FEAR THE TURTLE!
• The summer I lived at the beach, my roommates and the guys who lived in front of us went jacuzzi hopping. We broke into various hotels at the beach and hung out in their jacuzzi's. My favorite was at the Princess Royale cause theirs was on a deck facing the beach, and we were there until 6am and the morning staff came to start their day, and we're just chilling in there. I think they thought that we were guest cause they didn't say anything to us. Eventually we got out and walked out of the gate that we had jimmyed open. It was so money.
• Playing the card game Asshole, where I had to wear a an empty beer case on my head like a mask cause I was the asshole. And after we all were completely wasted we decided to go drunk swimming. It was the perfect night, not too hot, not too cold, and later on that night I hooked up with my bestfriend's older brother whom I was madly in love with at the time. We continued to hook up throughout that summer.
• The first night my bestfriend Lisa's parents let us got to OceanCity at night by ourselves without their supervision. I think we were 13 or 14, and I think all we did was hang out at the boardwalk and then found her older brothers and hung out with them the majority of the night.
• Shopping at the outlets in Rehoboth.
• Waiting in line at midnight for the Endless Summer Sale. That's when I thought wearing boys surfer shirts was cool. So sad.
• Climbing the sand dunes in Nagshead, NC.
• The day Christa and I decided that the minute we get up we would start drinking till we couldn't drink anymore. I can't remember how long we lasted, but we did drink all day.
• The time we got Lisa to smoke (she doesn't smoke) to get rid of the smell of something dying in our apartment. We woke up one morning and our place smelled like someone threw up all over it, but when we searched we couldn't find anything, and the smell wouldn't go away. Finally we couldn't take it anymore, so we all bought packs of cigarettes and started smoking inside to mask the smell of death. I even have a picture of Lisa smoking.
• All the beach volleyball tournaments that Lisa and I went to. It was a weekend of staring at hot and sweat gorgeous beach volleyball guys. I was in complete heaven.
• Sharing the back bedroom with Lisa's older brothers. Again, I was in heaven.
• The time we had a party at Lisa's beach trailer and Kristen broke the window and we told her parents that I shanked the volleyball which proceeded to break the window. Her parents never found out that we had a party.
• The time I finally learned how to inhale properly.
• My roommate Tina having Christa's sloopy seconds.
• Beating all the boys in Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat, and all because I was a button pusher. I even beat Anthony in a tournament laying on the couch upside down. He was so pissed.
• I wasn't there for this one, but I've heard the story so often I feel like I was there. Mark puking off the balcony while Steve yelled Spaghetti.
• All the car rides down to the beach with Lisa and her family.
• Learning how to play spades and Lisa getting angry at me cause I didn't fully understand the point of the game so that we always lost to her brother. I understand it now!
• Hating the game Chinese Checkers cause Lisa would kick my ass. You'd think with me being Asian that I would whoop her.
• Just spending hours playing in the water and spending the entire day at the beach.

Ocean Shitty

So I was going to write about my weekend in lovely Ocean Shitty, but Kiah beat me to it. And since she did such a lovely job describing our weekend, I feel I can do no better (I'm also extremely lazy), so I have decided to just link you to hers. So here it is. Enjoy!

My Lovely Roommate

Today, my roommate, Best Friend Ever moved out. The place looks so empty, and I’m living like a very well off homeless person. I have no furniture in my living room except for my new tv that I bought myself the other night. Its pretty ghetto fab. BFE owned everything in our place and it clearly shows. And currently I just don’t have the time to stock up on furniture, so I will be living like this until September when things calm down a bit. Since she has left me, I am dedicating this blog to her, and all the things I will miss the most from living with BFE.

- Getting sucked into stupid movies such as Under Siege 2.
- Banning her from picking movies to watch such at the debacle Tiptoes.
- Going to her closet to borrow clothes and shoes.
- Watching endless episodes of What Not to Wear, Sex & the City, Grey’s Anatomy, Law & Order, stupid 7th Heaven, Charmed, Project Runway, and a bunch of other shows.
- Her cooking me delicious dinners.
- Spending hours on end working on a puzzle.
- Dressing up her fagot son Bob in gay outfits.
- Reading her Time magazines.
- Going on evening walks and bike rides.
- Her doing my hair for parties.
- All the furniture in my apartment.
- Using her room as a guest bedroom whenever I had company.
- Her knocking on my door scared whenever the police helicopters flew over our apartment looking for a criminal

- Watching a full weeks worth of General Hospital on the weekends.
- Having dinner parties.
- Laying on her bed while she cleans her room.
- Her helping me clean the kitchen after I dropped a can of coke as it exploded and spun all around the kitchen leaving coke all over the floor, walls, ceiling, and even in parts of the dinning room. And I’m just screaming watching the coke can spin. And I have done this twice!
- Being on the woogie (PMS) at the same time and going to the Cheesecake Factory to get tiramisu and black chocolate cake for dinner.
- Her going on her crazy cleaning sprees while I just let her go at it cause she scares me when she gets like that.
- Her helping me clean the frog tank anytime it got really dirty.
- Going to her for advice concerning anything and everything in my life.
- Having late nights where we just talk.
- But most of all I will miss having my best friend living in the room next to me. I love you girl!

I got the case of the Mondays

I know people complain about Mondays all the time, but I truly hate them. There is nothing great about them. Mondays mean going back to work to your stack of papers in your inbox, to answering e-mails from either your co-workers or clients that you just don’t care to answer, to meetings, to conference calls that you forgot you had. And as much progress you make on your things to do list, shit just keeps getting added to it so that it seems never ending.

My Monday started off with me getting up late even though I’m trying to get to work on time. Since I got up late, it meant that I did not have time to make myself lunch even though I’m trying my bestest to save money and bring lunch to work everyday this week. I woke up in a bad mood cause I never got over my bad mood before I went to bed last night. It didn’t help that I had weird dreams all night some even involving death and mayhem. One dream involved false hope, which is probably worse than death and destruction.

Sitting down at my desk, my headache comes rushing at me like a tidal wave. I can feel the tension forming behind my eyes, and there is this constant buzzing like a fly in my ear. And of course I had scheduled a conference call first thing that morning. And of course I have to act like I give a shit about what I’m talking about and be nice and friendly. But I did get him to agree that he’d be sending a purchase order by the end of this week, which will propel my numbers up.

After that conference call, I don’t think I talked to anyone till lunchtime. I was highly agitated and all I wanted to do was throw my computer against the wall. I was in a very bad mood, and I knew exactly why I was in my bad mood (which I won’t get into), which made it even worse. I hate knowing what the root of the problem is, but not being able to do a damn thing about it. Or knowing what to do, but you can’t change your way of thinking. My problem is that I over think everything. And that over thinking causes you to dwell way too much on things that you shouldn’t.

To top off my day, my roommate calls me to tell me that our AC is leaking water again into our linen closet. This pisses me off extremely cause the linen closet is my 2nd closet, and this is the 3rd time this has happened to me. And I was just putting away clean laundry yesterday and the damn thing wasn’t leaking. So now all my clean clothes are dirty. And to piss me off even more, my roommate goes to the leasing office, and the asshole leasing guy has the nerve to say that this won’t get fixed tonight cause the office is about to close and its not an emergency. Umm, sorry fucker, but leaking water is considered an emergency. Since this man is absolutely useless, I call the emergency number and someone calls me back to tell me that they will be over later on that evening to fix it. I seriously hate that prick and am calling the leasing manager tomorrow to complain about him. What a dickwad!

I seriously hate Mondays! Tomorrow will be a better day, or else I'm going over to the leasing office and stabbing that guy in the eye.