I am NOT Suzy Homemaker

Random, Random, Random

2009-02-10T21:14:00.002-05:00

This meme has been making it rounds on Facebook, 25 Random things about you. Instead of posting it on there, I will post it on here.

1) I’m a private person, which is funny because I have a blog that chronicles my life and feelings, but there are only a handful of people who read my blog that actually know me in real life. BFE doesn’t even have a link to this blog and randomly she’ll ask me for it, and I never send it to her. I’m funny like that.

2) Despite being such a pessimist, I’m a closet romantic. I believe in Prince Charming and Happily Ever After, although I believe I’ll be the one to rescue him. I believe in love at first sight and soul mates. I don’t believe in “You complete me,” but I do believe in building a life with someone.

3) I have a weird thing about numbers. I prefer even numbers or multiples of five. I like things to be in pairs.

4) I like to read aloud to Weasley. Yes, I understand that he’s a cat, but I read somewhere that animals enjoy the sound of our voices and I just like to read aloud. I won’t read aloud to him trashy romance novels because I don’t think that’s appropriate for his ears.

5) I miss having a dog, but do not have the time for one. I need to either move to a house with a yard or have a live-in boyfriend. The live-in boyfriend will walk the dog when its cold, raining or snowing or the dog will walk itself in the back yard during these scenarios.

6) I’m normally bitchy three weeks out of four, but whenever I get my monthly friend, I’m in the best of moods. Life couldn’t be better during that week; everything is all sunshine and butterflies. But once that week is over, lookout because I’m back to being a moody bitch.

7) My new hobby is to drink a glass of wine while taking a bath. Its so relaxing and I get tipsy fast from the heat of the water.

8) When I fall in love, I fall hard and fast. This sometimes causes me to stay with a person longer than I should or overlook some faults. But once I make up my mind that I’m no longer in love with you, you will never be able to get back into my heart. I’ll never be able to look at you in the same way, and while I may still be friends with you, I will never go back to you.

9) My mind is constantly thinking and I over analyze everything. This keeps me up at night as I worry about things I cannot possibly control, so I resort to taking sleeping pills or working out in hopes that my body will be so tired, I just pass out at night. Recently neither has been working.

10) I’m addicted to the Real Housewives Series on Bravo. I started watching re-runs of Atlanta and now watch the others. The Atlanta Housewives are by far my favorite and cannot wait for season 2.

11) I have a strong sense of smell (that sounds funny) and can pick up odors that other people can’t. I hate the smell of burnt toast (it makes me gag) and every week someone burns toast in my office and I have to step away from my desk.

12) Growing up I was the biggest tomboy. I hated wearing dresses and skirts and preferred wearing sweatpants. I loved playing with the big boys and wasn’t afraid of getting dirty or hurt. I’m not sure what age I transitioned into a girly girl, although I still don’t consider myself a girly girl.

13) I love getting massages and if I could I would get one every day.

14) I don’t watch the news and barely read CNN. I have no idea what is going on in the world; I don’t even know what the weather is going to be like tomorrow. Its kinda sad, but at the same time freeing.

15) I love Jeff Smokers.

16) I cannot function in the mornings without coffee. My coworkers know not to talk to me until I have finished my coffee or else I will bite their heads off.

17) I would love to live overseas one day. Maybe London, Paris, or even Bangkok. I’ve never been truly on my own, without my parents being a 20-minute drive away. I think it would be good for me.

18) Adopting Weasley has been one of my best decisions ever. He brings me so much comfort and joy. I smile whenever I think or look at him. I cannot imagine my life without him and wonder what I did before him.

19) Getting DVR is the second best decision in my life. I think it has made my ADD even worse. I hate watching live tv now and hardly ever do it, except for sports.

20) Twenty years from now, when NSYNC goes on their reunion tour, I will be in the front row, getting ready to toss my panties on stage!

21) I think all men should know how to drive stick shift. I find it highly unattractive when a guy doesn’t know how to.

22) When I was 11 I had a spiral perm. God knows why I wanted one. Looking at pictures with my hair like that, I cringe. My hair has never recovered from it. Sometimes Mothers are right. I should have never done it.

23) I’m never happy or satisfied. I’m always wanting more. I’m not sure what its gonna take to make me truly content with my life.

24) I no longer wear a watch. I used to be so consumed about time and the minutes left in the hour and the seconds left in the minute that I could never enjoy the moment. I’m still slightly time obsessed, but it doesn’t drive me crazy like it used to.

25) I want nothing and everything.

The Beginning is Always the End

2009-02-03T19:16:00.003-05:00

Its been awhile since I posted on here. I haven't completely decided if I want to stop posting all together or keep this open so I can randomly post like I am doing now. Gosh, so much has happened in these last few months that I can't even possibly recap the good and the bad.

I did start dating someone, which is part of the reason why I was so absent. I didn't want to jinx the start of the relationship by writing about it and I was also having way too much fun to even sit down and write what I was going through.

The relationship ended as abruptly as it started. And here's what I wrote to myself right after it happened. I kept debating with myself if I wanted this out there in the public and I feel enough time has passed that I'm ok to share it. And maybe it will help me let go of this residual anger and sadness I still feel. Be forewarned, its long.

"The Beginning is Always the End"

I was so scared that this would happen and it did. Maybe if I weren’t so fearful, things would be different. I was always so afraid that he would come to me one day and say this is no longer working for him, that he no longer wanted to see me. I was so scared of losing him because that’s how much I liked him.

From the moment he first kissed me, something inside of me woke up. It felt like spring and I was thawing. The coldness from the winter was ebbing away, and for the first time in a long time I felt the innocence and hope of love blooming inside of me. It felt so strong and I was shocked that I was feeling it. This was only our second date and our first kiss and I was already sucked in.

And instead of pulling away, I gave in to the feeling. I embraced it. I can’t remember the last time I felt so high just from kissing someone. I knew I wanted to keep this one. I knew I didn’t want to let him go. So I held on tightly and continued to kiss him. And when he looked at me with those brown eyes, I was lost, but so was he. He would lean in and kiss me and tell me that my eyes were pulling him in and that he couldn’t stop kissing me, and I felt exactly the same way.

I tried to tread lightly with him and not move too fast. I told him that I needed time and I didn’t want to rush into things. He gave me that space that I needed while still making me feel beautiful and wanted. And once I thought he liked me and much as I liked him, I was ready to take it to the next step.

From there things seemed to progress naturally, but I still had that fear in the back of my head; haunting me, torturing me. I kept telling myself that I was being silly and had no reason to feel insecure. You could just look at him and tell how much he liked me. When we were together, I could see it and feel it, with every touch, kiss, glance, and smile. But that feeling was still there. Anytime he gave me an odd look, I worried that his next words would be, “I’m done. Goodbye.”

So I would pray that everything would be ok with us, and I would pray for him to be the one. At night, in the darkness, I would pray for us. I would pray for him and I. I would pray for myself to be stronger; to not let my insecurities about past relationships rule me. I would close my eyes and pray to any God out there that would listen.

A month or so into my relationship I was dealt a stunning roadblock. Lying in bed, in his arms, he tells me he doesn’t want anything serious and is just looking to have fun. Of course I was not happy with that statement, especially since I thought we were on the same page. I at times could sense his apprehension, but he had never pushed me away until then. I told him that I wouldn’t mind if things progressed further and that along as he wasn’t out dating other girls behind my back, I was fine.

I should’ve stopped seeing him then, but I was in too deep at that point. I figured it was still early in the relationship and too soon to decide if things should be serious. We were both enjoying ourselves, so let’s just take it one day at a time and see what happens. I knew I was going on vacation at the end of October and that would be the true test for me. If he didn’t miss me than clearly we shouldn’t be together, but if he did miss me all would be well in the world.

So I didn’t push him. I let us just be and didn’t demand extra from him for fear of pushing him away. I thought my tactic was working. I thought I could show him that he could be with me and still have fun and that being in a relationship wouldn’t change or ruin his lifestyle.

Slowly I started going out with him and his friends and each time he would tell me how much fun he was having and how glad he was that I was there. And his friends liked me and would tell him, “You better keep this one. Don’t lose her, she’s awesome.” I thought those were all good signs. I thought, slowly but surely we are making progress. Our time spent together became more intimate and I really felt like we were getting to know each other and become more comfortable with one another. My fear slowly began to fade. I no longer questioned any odd look he gave me, and when he was tired and grumpy that’s exactly how I took it.

The night before I left for San Diego, he tried to push me away. He told me that he’s been in four serious relationships and that he cheated on three of them. I told him, “Please don’t cheat on me. That’s the one thing I ask of you. I’d rather have you end things with me before you cheat on me.” He told me the other night when he went out, some girl tried to kiss him, but he didn’t let her. In the back of my head I kept thinking, “God, don’t tell me I picked another one.”

Things were weird between us when I left, and I was worried. But he made up for it in the middle of the week by calling me and when we spoke things were fine. The conversation flowed and we both missed each other. That Friday night I called him and he told me that he wished I was there with him and that he’d been showing his friends my picture and they all said to keep me. He said his sisters wanted to meet me and I felt aglow with his words.

When I came back, things were great. I finally felt like we were moving forward and that it would just happen naturally. I guess I was wrong. Two weeks after being back he repeats that he doesn’t want something serious and still wants be single. All because I just want to spend time with him and he makes me feel guilty for asking.

I ask him if he’s no longer having fun, and he says that yes he still is. I ask if he wants to date other people or is just waiting for something better to come along and he replies back with no. He tells me that he likes his single lifestyle and wants to be able to do whatever he wants whenever he wants without having to worry about anyone else. I remind him that I don’t ask to spend every day with him and that I don’t believe that’s healthy and that I like the fact that we give each other space and freedom. I just hate that I feel like I’m asking the world of him when I want to see him. I tell him that I just want to be with him.

He says he doesn’t want to hurt me and that he’s not ready to give more. He says he doesn’t know what he wants and that it’s up to me to decide what I want. I tell him I will think about it. I tell him that a part of me doesn’t want to stop seeing him and the other part thinks its better if we end it now while we can. He tells me to take my time to think about it and I tell him I will.

When I think I’m ok with the way things are, I try and tell him that and he responds that he was going to suggest we take a break. And right there my heart sinks inside of me, and I’m trying desperately to not cry on the phone. He says he’s surprised by my change of attitude and asks if I no longer want a relationship and if I’ll be happy. I respond with I said I would think things over and I have, “I still would like things to progress, but I also like spending time with you and you make me happy. I’m willing to let things be and see what happens.” He counters I still think you want more from me and I reply, “I just want to be with you.”

He then tries to bring the conversation to a casual level and I tell him that I can’t do this; I can’t act like things are normal between us and ok, and he responds, “I was afraid of that.” He says he needs to think things over and I just know that I lost him. And everything hurts so much and I can’t believe its over. I knew there were warning signs, besides the fact that he told me he doesn’t want to be serious, and I choose to ignore them.

I thought whatever I felt for him would be strong enough. I really thought we were moving forward. It seemed like it was heading that way. His words and actions made me think so. Everyone keeps telling me that its not me, its him, he’s the one that is being selfish and its not anything I did, but I can’t help feeling that I wasn’t good enough. That if he really likes me as much as it seems he does, than why is he ending it?

I was really beginning to fall in love with him. I think I already was in love. When we were together, it felt so amazing, such a great high. He was everything I wanted him to be when we were together. He was attentive, adoring, loving, he made me feel so special and beautiful. It was when we were apart that I was worried, when I would question. I just didn’t want this glorious feeling to end. And now I fear its over. I don’t see how it can not be.

I don’t think he’s going to change his mind and I don’t think there is anything I can do to change his mind. I know I deserve better/more and that I shouldn’t settle. But I thought he was my better and that I wasn’t settling. I thought he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

No Choice But Seduction

2008-09-29T23:06:00.001-04:00

Wow, I hate to say it, but I think I have finally outgrown trashy romance novels! After reading them for close to twenty years, I have reached my limit with them. Le sigh, so sad. But they just don’t thrill me like the way they used to and I don’t find myself getting lost in the story either. Instead I find myself more irritated with the characters, and its no wonder that women have such misconception about love and romance.

I could barely make it through No Choice But Seduction by Johanna Lindsey. I found myself rolling my eyes during numerous parts and skimming through the majority of the book. I was hoping that the charm of the Malory family could save the story, but it didn’t.

Too be honest, I can’t even summarize what the story was about. The plot was really choppy and I felt like Lindsey couldn’t decide if she wanted the focus to be on the main couple or on past characters within the Malory family specifically James and Tony. While I know the Malory’s are fan favorites (and used to be mine), she cannot keep relying on previous characters to carry the story. If she wants to continue with the Malory’s, than she should write another novel like The Present, which included all past characters and introduced a nice side love story to go along with it.

I just don’t find my trashy romance novels as whimsical anymore. I really believe I have outgrown them. I was getting that feeling when I picked up The Marriage Spell. I was hoping No Choice But Seduction would turn into a pleasant surprise, but instead it was old and tiresome.

Trashy romance novels have a time and a place and when I was in my younger years, they seemed so thrilling, exciting and romantic. And now that I’ve lived a little and have had life experiences, I just can’t relate to them anymore. I almost feel like they are sending a wrong message to women. Granted, I probably shouldn’t have been reading them at such a young age, and if my Mother didn’t have such a huge collection of them, I probably wouldn’t have read as many as I did. I have turned a corner with this genre and am not sure if I can go back.

The Third Angel

2008-09-21T20:27:00.001-04:00

The Third Angel by Alice Hoffman follows the lives of four women and their connection to the Lion Park Hotel in London. It’s a story about losing yourself completely whether it be through passionate love or your own self-hate.

It’s a story about the Third Angel. As Frieda explains, “You can’t even tell if he’s an angel or not. You think you’re doing him a kindness, you think you’re the one taking care of him, while all the while, he’s the one who’s saving your life.” I like this concept of a Third Angel; someone who is out there and unwittingly through some act or gesture of compassion they have the ability to alter you life and save you from yourself.

Another theme is the ability to lose yourself completely without even realizing it. The most obvious is the ghost that haunts the Lion Park Hotel. This ghost is different; it’s not a ghost of a dead person, but more of an imprint of Teddy Healy (who is still alive) soul and the exact moment that he lost it. In that instant his very essence was ripped out of him and left to relive that scene every night. Teddy was never able to find himself again.

The Third Angel starts in the present and works its way to the past and you see how each woman is connected to one another. The Lion Park Hotel seems to be the central focus and events that happened 47 years ago leave a mark in each story surrounding these women’s lives.

Each woman has their own story to tell that involves love, lost, betrayal and a Third Angel. It’s interesting to see whom that Third Angel is and how their role helps shape these women’s existence. Some become the Third Angel and some are helped by the Third Angel.

I have to admit, I didn’t really like this book until I finally got to the end. Everything made sense at the end, and I even went back to the beginning to see where all the connections were. I do think Hoffman has a nice style of writing, but I wasn’t really sucked into the story until closer to the end.

The Handmaid's Tale

2008-09-08T20:05:00.003-04:00

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood is such a compelling and thought-provoking novel. The story surrounds a dystopian society ruled by a totalitarian government where women are stripped of their rights and live in a caste society.

The narrator of this tale is a Handmaid known as Offred who belongs to a Commander and his Wife, Serena Joy. The purpose of the Handmaid’s is to breed children for the Commander. In the society of the Gilead, people have become infertile and women who are of age and have had at least one child are forced to become Handmaid’s. Sex is solely for procreation and only performed once a month in hopes of conception.

Women are no longer allowed to hold property, money, read, write or be educated. Guards watch over the city at all times and Handmaid’s must walk in pairs to be protected. They are given no civil liberties and if they disobey they could be shipped off to the Colonies to die or hanged on the Wall as a warning to others. The Eyes see all and know all.

Offred recalls tales of her former life where she was married to Luke and had a daughter. They tried to cross the border into Canada, but failed and she was taken to the Center to be re-educated by the Aunts as her new role as Handmaid. She has no idea what has become of Luke and learns her daughter has been adopted by another Commander and his Wife. Offred resigns herself to this life in hopes that one day she will escape and be reunited with her husband and daughter.

I could go more into a plot summary of this book, but I think you get the idea. The Handmaid’s Tale starts off slow, but really begins to pick up after the first coupling ceremony. Soon Offred is secretly meeting the Commander in his office after hours and begins an affair with the driver Nick, who ultimately helps her escape (or so I hope).

This book was hugely moving and scary at the same time. The Handmaid’s Tale was first published in 1986 and it’s interesting to note that Gilead became after the President and Congress were gunned down and the blame was put on Islamic fanatics. The Constitution was suspended and a new military took over. It was all supposed to be temporary, but instead opened the door to this new regime; it was the catalyst they were waiting for.

It makes me wonder, if the 9/11 attacks had been more widespread, would our government have responded in return? Would we be under a military government and stripped of our rights of free speech and thoughts? Could a society like this ever form in this modern era of technology and lack of values and beliefs?

I think Atwood’s writing is stunning. There were so many passages that I earmarked that I thought were poetic, thoughtful, serene, sad and hopeful. Here is one of my favorite passages,

“Night falls. Or has fallen. Why is it that night falls,
instead of rising, like the dawn? Yet if you look east, at sunset, you can
see night rising, not falling; darkness lifting into the sky, up from the
horizon, like a black sun behind cloud cover. Like smoke from an unseen
fire, a line of fire just below the horizon, brushfire or a burning city.
Maybe night falls because its heavy, a thick curtain pulled up over the eyes …
Night has fallen, then. I feel it pressing down on me like a stone.”

I love books like this that really make you think and question your life or society. I think it’s interesting to read how cultures evolve, form new shapes/roles and the long-term affects of these outcomes. How was Offred to predict that events leading up to Gilead would force her to become a Handmaid, thereby losing her very identity, her place in the world, her very self? Could these acts have been prevented? How did humanity recover from this time frame (we learn that in the far future, the world is no longer like this)?

I wonder what history books will write about my generation and how we contributed to the world. I wonder how we will change the world.

Quarterly Survey: Food Edition

2008-09-04T19:37:00.007-04:00

I am entering End of Quarter time, so things will of course be hectic, and also means I'll continue to be MIA. Luckily Kiah has posted this fun food survey. Enjoy.

Here’s what you to do:
1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating or Italicize since it never shows up when I try to cross things out on here.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak Tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black Pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam Chowder in a sourdoug bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float (I hate root beer and putting vanilla ice cream in it does not sound appealing at all!)
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O (A good jello shot should not taste too vodkay and should go down smooth)
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala (One of my favorite Indian dishes!)
48. Eel (Eaten it in sushi)
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut Hot!
50. Sea urchin (Went out for sushi once, where BFE had a small portion of sea urchin on her plate. It looked like runny poop. Gross!)
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini (I hate olives, so would never drink something that consisted of olive juice. Eww.)
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores (I heart me some S’mores. Nothing better than sitting in front of a fire and eating some delicious gooey s’mores)
62. Sweetbreads (I have actually eaten them in pate)
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian (OMG, I hate this shit! Its this really awful smelly fruit in Thailand. It seriously smells like ass the riper it gets. My Dad loves it and always asks for some when we’re in Thailand)
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill (eww, why would someone want to eat this?)
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail (OMG, love escargot)
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky (This was my favorite snack growing up)
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee (I used to work in a coffee store and would steal pounds of this all the time)
100. Snake

The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted: And Other Small Acts of Liberation

2008-08-24T14:13:00.002-04:00

The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted: And Other Small Acts of Liberation by Elizabeth Berg is a collection of short stories about women and their life experiences. Some of the stories I really enjoyed, and there were others where I felt there was no act of liberation as the title describes. Perhaps I missed it.

One of my favorite stories is entitled, “Mrs. Ethel Menafee and Mrs. Birdie Stoltz,” which is about two old ladies who are best friends. Birdie is diagnosed with chronic lymphatic leukemia and is back in the hospital once again to see if treatment will work. Ethel visits her everyday. Both are widowed.

Birdie’s prognosis is not good and Ethel asks Birdie to move in with her so they can spend Birdie’s last months together. At first Birdie declines because she does not want to be a burden, but eventually she come around. They have a solid and sweet friendship based on longevity and trust.

I think I enjoyed this story the most because my Best Friend and I have known each other since we were five years old. We grew up together and have been each other biggest supporters. We have celebrated great achievements, cried over dumb boys and have laughed many laughs together.

Growing up we used to always say that in our ripe old age after our husbands have either passed away or divorced us, we would get a home and grow old together. We would still fly out to Vegas and see Chippendales and complain about the young whippersnappers in the club. We would reminisce about the past as we looked through old photo albums, cringing at our awful hairstyles and clothes we wore. Our children and grandkids would come visit us and good times would be had by all.

Overall I enjoyed this collection of short stories. It was a nice, fun quick read and some of the stories are very touching.

School's Out for Summer: Oh Wait, Summer's Ovah!

2008-08-21T22:28:00.011-04:00

I know I have been a bit MIA lately with the blog and only posting about the books I have read, and its because I’ve been having such an amazing summer! This has by far been one of the best summers in my current adult life. Every weekend has brought a new adventure and I have been able to enjoy all the moments completely.

One of the biggest reasons this has been such an enjoyable summer is that for once all my closest girlfriends are single, which means no boyfriend drama! And with no boyfriends we were able to bask in our friendships and remind ourselves that we can have a hella lot more fun without pesky boys.

There were bits of boy drama here and there, but not enough to put a damper on things. Instead we just shrugged it off and continued on our merry way. Nothing or nobody was going to ruin our fun. We were on a mission to enjoy one of our last summers together to the fullest! (A lot of my friends are in medical school and this really is their last summer of freedom before residency starts.)

The summer kickoff began on July 4th at Lakeapoolza. My friend’s parent owns a lake house up in Pennsylvania right near the Poconos and he invited a shitload of us to celebrate American’s Independence. Literally all I did that weekend was drink, eat and shoot off fireworks. I also witnessed boys shot gunning beers by first pounding a can on their forehead. High-liarious! I have never LOLed so much in my life. There is a video but BFE still can’t figure out how to load it up on her computer.

It was a great weekend to get away from work and enjoy being out on a beautiful lake in the middle of nowhere. Nothing better than games of flip cup, Jenga, Never Have I Ever, sitting on the dock of the bay with beers, tubing and spending time with great friends.

I also went to Dhrit-Apoolza, the Anti-Wedding Party. My friend was supposed to be having his wedding this summer, but thankfully they called it off. They weren’t right for each other and he would’ve been miserable in the marriage if he had gone through with it. So to celebrate dodging the bullet, he had a Marriage to Freedom Party, which was a hella good time. He was dressed up head to toe in his wedding outfit and you could come dressed in your worst bridal outfits. I opted to curl my hair.

Shenanigans were had, which included more flip cup, flying on a magic carpet, dancing to some slamming tunes, and witnessing Dhritty is all his magnificent glory.

We had a reunion of Lakeapoolza and it became BBQ-Poolza (notice a trend here). Somehow I ended up with a beer in one hand and a mojito in the other. The night became a drunken blur after that. I do remember rounds of flip cup (another trend) and racing my friend Vicki to the bathroom, with my other friend Martin following closely behind. The best part is that Vicki has no recollection of chasing me to the bathroom or much of that night.

Oh, how could I forget The Wife’s B-day (BFE)! That was the real start of summer in June. A group of us went to The Park, a club in DC, where we danced until we couldn’t feel the numbing pain from wearing high-heeled shoes. We staked ourselves a nice little area near the bar where we could boogie uninterrupted and still have easy access to the alcohol. The Wife enjoyed her birthday greatly.

Wrapping up the close of summer, I got a lovely visit from Miss KJ and Stacy. They made the trek back to Maryland for Virgin Festival. Unfortunately we couldn’t get any free tickets from our old radio contacts, but we were able to find a pair of tixs at a discounted price. The weather was perfect, not too hot, and not too humid. We saw some amazing acts play such as Lupe Fiasco, The Offspring and Foo Fighters. We hung out in the ravers tent for a bit, where I danced to trance/house music (it all sounds the same to me) and definitely got a contact high from all the weed around us. I saw a man piss on himself while he was passed out standing straight up. He was hammer-timed! This was my first Vfest and I’m glad I got to experience it.

And of course it was awesome to see Kiah and Stacy again. Last time we all saw each other was our trip to Vegas, which was a show. Although we didn’t party like rock stars that weekend, it was still great to see my girls again. I wish they could’ve stayed longer and NYE plans may already be in the works.

This has been one hell of a summer and I’m so upset that it’s ending. I feel like it just started, but already the days are getting shorter and traffic is picking up on the beltway. Soon the kiddies will be back in school, it won’t be sweltering hot, and the leaves will turn to gold and amber. I truly feel that I have embraced living in the moment this summer and just enjoying whatever comes my way without too much stress and worry. This so far has ranked as one of my best summers ever! I'm so glad I got to share it with all my friends.

The Wednesday Letters

2008-08-15T12:11:00.001-04:00

I just finished reading another love story that involved letters. What can I say; I’m a romantic at heart. The Wednesday Letters by Jason F. Wright is a tale about love, faith and family.

Every Wednesday from the moment they were married, Jack has written Laurel a love letter. Sometimes it’s a quick one or two liner, other letters are pouring of his heart. When Jack and Laurel pass away together, their children discover their father’s letters and some family secrets.

Malcolm, the troubled son, is the most affected by the secret since it concerns him. One of the letters reveals that Jack is not Malcolm’s biological father. This sends Malcolm in a tailspin and he wonders how his Mother could cheat and how his Father could forgive her. His world is shaken and he questions who he really is.

Through more letter reading, Malcolm finds out that his mother was raped, but decided to keep the baby. She has forgiven her rapist and teaches Jack to forgive as well. Now Malcolm must learn to forgive and face his troubled past.

Each of the other siblings has their own issues as well, but Malcolm’s story makes up the most of this book. His sister Samantha is a single mother and cop who always had dreams of pursuing an acting career. The eldest son Matthew has a strained marriage and wants to adopt a child with his wife. All children are deeply moved by their parent’s love story.

I really enjoyed reading this novel. I love that Jack wrote Laurel a letter every Wednesday regardless of what was going on in their lives. Even when Jack found out the devastating truth about Malcolm, he still wrote her a letter explaining how mad and hurt he was with her for not telling him sooner.

The art of letter writing is dying art form in this technology era. The only time I ever write letters now is when I send out my Christmas cards. I always try and make each card personally instead of just signing my name. I would love to receive a love letter; I think it’s so romantic. I feel like romance is dead and a man would not even think about writing his wife or girlfriend a letter expressing how he feels about her.

Here are two excerpts from my favorite letters by Jack, “Now I’ll make one more promise. Laurel, I will always stand by you. No matter what. We’re in everything together. No secrets. No surprises. And I will always be true. In every way.”

And the other one, “Somehow we will make it. We will. Do you trust me? So, yes, I am sorry. I’m sorry for not yet being the man I promised to be. Please don’t give up on me.”

A great tale that again left me feeling uplifted and hopeful. I am definitely in a place where I am more open and looking forward to what may come.

Sam's Letters to Jennifer

2008-07-28T22:43:00.004-04:00

Sam’s Letters to Jennifer by James Patterson is a thoughtful romantic novel. It was an endearing and hopeful love story and made a cynic like me believe in true love.

The book is about a woman named Jennifer whose Grandmother Sam falls into a coma. Jennifer rushes to Lake Geneva to be by her Sam’s hospital bedside. While at her Sam’s house, she discovers a stack of letters addressed to her in which Sam narrates her loveless marriage and how she found true love.

Jennifer’s husband died about a year ago and she is clearly still mourning his passing. Now with her best friend in the hospital, she feels her world is crumbling around her. And then she finds the letters and discovers her Grandmother’s secret. Her Grandfather married Sam under false pretenses and Sam had resolved herself to a life without real love. Until she meets Doc and she is so full of love, but must always keep it secret.

While reading Sam’s letters, Jennifer finds herself slowly falling in love with Brendan, her childhood playmate at the lake. The impossible has happened; Jennifer has opened herself up to love again only to find out that Brendan is dying of a brain cancer. She has learned to love once more and it could be taken away from her in one heartbeat.

This story pulls at my heartstrings and yet it is so simple and full of hope. My favorite part is when Sam wakes up from the coma and meets Brendan and says to him, “So why have you given up hope? How can you leave someone as special as Jennifer without a fight?” Finally someone is voicing what I have been thinking for years! I believe a lot of relationships fail because people aren’t willing to fight for the relationship. It’s a lot easier to walk away from someone than it is to stay together and work at the relationship. Even with all the love that Brendan feels for Jennifer, he was going to have this one summer and then die. But Sam’s words made him want to fight for something more than just a summer regardless of what it might cost him.

I did wonder why Sam never left her husband even after he showed his true colors, but I guess there wouldn’t be much of a story to tell. I love the idea that Sam wrote these letters to Jennifer to give her an insight into her life and also into Jennifer’s. As Sam writes,

“Right now, I’m thinking about love: the hot, crazy kind that turns your chest into a bell and your heart into a clapper. But also the more enduring kind
that comes from knowing someone else deeply and letting yourself be known … I
guess I believe in both kinds of love, both kinds at the same time and with the
same person.”

That’s what Sam had with Doc and what Jennifer finds with Brendan.

While I found some similarities between Patterson and Nicholas Sparks, I absolutely was not depressed or saddened by Sam’s Letters to Jennifer. In fact, I felt more inspired and hopeful that a deep, blazing, caring genuine love does exist out there. You just have to be open to it and know when to fight for it. As Sam says, “Love never dies.”

A Beautiful Day

2008-07-27T19:44:00.015-04:00

Yesterday I felt inspired so I grabbed my camera and headed over to Brookside Gardens. This is my first time going there all year! I usually like to go in the spring when all the flowers are in full bloom, but now towards the end of July most of the flowers are starting to wilt. Yesterday was perfect weather though. It was hot, but not too humid and I spent a good solid two hours walking around and taking some great shots.

Here are some of my favorites from yesterday:

I love the rich blue of the flower and the softness it evokes and the hard line of the tree trunk behind it.

I've always been a fan of pics with roads or paths in them. It reminds me that there is always an open road to take.

I love the reflection of the clouds in the water.

I'm a linear person and I love clean lines.

This is by far one of my favorite shots. Everything just looks so peaceful and tranquil.

I love the vibrant red of this flower.

I love the splash of sunshine in this flower.

There was something so moving about seeing this hallowed out tree trunk just laying there in its glory.

The Marriage Spell

2008-07-20T13:24:00.001-04:00

Although I have been having a really fun summer (more on that later), I have been in a really pissy mood (again, more on that later), that I knew I needed to read a fun trashy romance novel. I headed over to my local library to see if I could find anything that would catch my fancy. I knew I wanted to try a different author since I feel Johanna Lindsey has become stale, but it’s so hard to find a gem in this genre.

And then I came across Mary Jo Putney’s, The Marriage Spell. The premise sounded kinda cheesy, but out of all the authors I picked up, I kept returning to her. The story involves magic, wizards and spells, the dork in me just couldn’t resist!

The tale takes place in England, as all good romance novels should. It’s the early 1800’s and we meet Abigail Barton a gifted wizard and healer. Having magical abilities is a great gift, but is not accepted by general society and the upper crust. Luckily for Abby, she lives in an area where her and her father are respected healers.

As a young boy Jack Langdon, Lord Frayne, was sent to Stonebridge Academy where they beat the propensity of young gentlemen that either have magical talents or are far too interested in magic. After leaving the Academy, Jack has a strong distaste for anything magical.

Until he suffers a life-threatening riding accident where Abby uses her special healing powers to restore his health in exchange for his hand in marriage. Jack must accept the fact that he is married to a powerful wizard and that he may himself have strong magical powers.

With Abby’s help, Jack learns to accept his true nature and overcome his fears toward magic. He respects her and has tremendous pride in his new wife. Slowly you see them fall in love with each other and its really sweet. Instead of each other being the obstacle towards true love, they confront his evil stepfather together, and in doing so brings them closer.

I really enjoyed reading this book and I’m glad I picked it up. It was nice and refreshing that there wasn’t a cat and mouse game with Abby chasing after Jack or vice versa. Instead they got married early into the book and you got to see their relationship develop from mere strangers, to friends and then to lovers.

Although I have this labeled as a trashy romance novel, there wasn’t enough graphic sex to my liking, but what are ya gonna do? This books wasn’t trashy at all, but a very nice well developed love story. I liked how Putney made love magical and that there is real power between two people who are in love. As Jack states, “Together we can face anything Scranton can throw at us.’ This was the magical spell created by marriage he realized. Together they were greater than the sum of their individual parts.”

The Marriage Spell was a nice and easy read and to me wasn’t a cookie cutter romance novel. I liked that the characters did not fight their feelings for each other and instead learned to embrace themselves and grow with one another. I may have found a new go to in the romance genre.

Bookish Meme

2008-07-17T12:49:00.005-04:00

I have seen numerous meme's like this before and finally decided to do one. I originally saw this on Once Upon a Bookshelf. Here are the rules:

The instructions:

Look at the list and

Bold those you have read.
Italicize those you intend to read.
Underline the books you LOVE.

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (does it count that I have read one book out of the series)
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. 1984 - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (I really don’t like Dickens, but had to read him in school)
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones’ Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett (I’m pretty sure I read this or I may have seen the movie way too many times so I think I have read it)
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. . Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad (Hated this book)

92.The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

See Ya Soon Mr. Nice Guy

2008-07-14T23:14:00.001-04:00

This weekend was a bittersweet weekend for me. I said farewell to someone who has become a dear sweet friend to me. You first met him as Mr. Nice Guy. After a few dates, we both realized that there was nothing really there and promised to remain friends, which we actually did.

We didn’t hang out every weekend, but we did make an effort to hang out at least once a month. He was one of my favorite people to go to sporting events with although we never did catch a Skins or Wizard’s game. We always had great conversations and I always felt very relaxed around him and I knew I could always be myself around him with no judgment.

And when he hit a rough patch with his father passing away unexpectedly, I did my best to be there for him. I knew how hard and upset he was over his father, especially because he was so close to his family and being the eldest son always took care of his family. I gently reminded him that he needed to take care of himself and allow himself to mourn. I wanted to badly to erase the pain that he was going through.

Mr. Nice Guy is moving down South. He’s an Army Doc and got his new orders. He left this morning. We had our goodbye brunch yesterday, talking about our goals for the future and me promising to come down and visit him.

At one point in the conversation he looked at me and said, “I wish things had turned out differently for us.” It caught me off guard, but I replied back, “I know exactly what you mean. I wish the same.” And I can honestly say I meant it. As we hugged each other goodbye, I held on tightly to him, not wanting to let him go. I knew I would miss our friendship dearly and also our lost opportunity.

Mr. Nice Guy is such an amazing person. I wish I had given him more of a chance when we first went out on those couple of dates. I wish I wasn’t scared of the possibility of being with a nice guy and really allowed myself to see what could happen. I don’t think I gave him a fair chance and cut it off before it even started. But I also know that he deserves someone who will appreciate him for his kindness, loyalty, honesty, friendship and love and I know inherently that I would take him and all of his great qualities for granted. And he deserves so much more than that. I firmly believe that timing is everything and I wasn’t ready for what he had to offer me.

I really hope he enjoys himself in this next stage of his life. I hope he meets a nice Southern Belle that will adore him completely. I hope he figures out what he wants to conquer next after his stint in the Army is up. I hope nothing but the best for him.

As we pulled away from our embrace he said, “I’m not even going to tell you to come down because you always have an open invitation to come visit me.” And I responded, “I promise.”

Love the One You're With

2008-07-13T23:08:00.001-04:00

I was sucked into Emily Giffin’s new book, Love the One You’re With as soon as I read the synopsis. I am such a sucker for unrequited love stories or stories that involve past loves coming back and spinning your world into chaos. I love the drama. Explains a lot, huh?

Ellen and Andy have the perfect marriage. They love, trust and support one another, but one day walking down the street in New York City, Ellen bumps into her old love, Leo. And from that moment, Ellen’s marriage heads into a tailspin. It’s not that she doesn’t love her husband; she loves him dearly and cherishes the life they share. But she also never stopped loving Leo. He was the mad passionate love affair; Leo was the one that got away.

What begins as a simple run in turns into so much more. Ellen goes down the dangerous path of reminiscing over her relationship with Leo and wondering how things fell apart. She also partakes in the treacherous comparison game between Andy and Leo, which never goes well. All her old feelings for Leo quickly resurface after their encounter and Ellen is left feeling unsettled.

She starts to question her marriage to Andy and cannot deny the strong attraction she feels for Leo. Slowly she feels herself being sucked back in by Leo even taking a photography gig that he helped get for her. All the while Andy suspects nothing.

To escape her feelings for Leo, Ellen agrees to move to Atlanta so that Andy can work for his father’s law firm. Her resentment towards Andy only builds in Atlanta, where she feels like she has morphed into a stepford wife, which only causes her to question her marriage to Andy more and what her feelings for Leo means.

Eventually the truth comes out right before Ellen is about to fly back to New York to do another photo shoot with Leo. Andy is upset and gives Ellen an ultimatum, if she goes to New York than she better not come home to him. And even with this dire threat, Ellen has to go to New York to see Leo.

There she must decide what she wants out of her life. Does she throw away her marriage for a man whom she has loved desperately, but who also hurt her deeply? Or does she return to a man who has loved her, but to a life that leaves her unsatisfied?

I enjoyed this book more so than Giffin’s previous novel, Baby Proof. I could predict the ending, but I was happy with the way it ended. Spoiler alert: I’m glad Ellen realized she was about to ruin her marriage for a man that didn’t have the balls to fight for their relationship when they were first together. I’m glad she didn’t cheat on Andy and realized that he is exactly where she is supposed to be. As she states, “I hold that day deep within myself, as a reminder that love is the sum of our choices, the strength of our commitments, the ties that bind us together.”

I think it’s fascinating how we can hold onto our past loves and they almost become idolized in our heads. I know I’m privy to that. There is one ex in particular where all I remember is the good times and I gloss over the rough ones. And I sometimes wonder what would happen if he came back into my life asking for another chance. Would I let him have it or would I remember all the reasons why we’re not compatible? And when I finally meet someone new, will I still wonder about him or will he just be a past love that brings a smile to my face?

Do you ever fall out of love with someone or does that love just merely change and morph into a new type of love? As I said, I love books that pose these types of questions. And while there was a happy ending to this book, I appreciate the fact that Giffin didn’t wrap it up too nicely. Even a year later, Ellen and Andy still struggle to find the right balance for their marriage and have found a compromise that works for the both of them currently. I’m relieved that she broke free of Leo’s hold on her.

Then We Came to the End

2008-06-29T13:42:00.005-04:00

I have been very slow to finish a book lately. Blame it on having a social life and just being tired at night to sit down and pick up my book. I had heard many great reviews about Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris, so I was looking forward to reading it. After I was done I was left with an “Eh” feeling about the book. It wasn’t a bad book; it just didn’t live up to all the hype.

Besides the great reviews this novel got, I also picked up this book because the main story was focused around office life. In our work driven society, we spend the majority of our lives at our jobs, grinding all day. I knew I would be able to relate.

The story is set around an advertising firm in Chicago that is going through layoffs. The employees are always at alert and nervous over whose going to be next to “Walk Spanish Down the Hall.” Obviously no one wants to be next and the employees spend mass amounts of time deliberating and gossiping about one another. Its no wonder the company is going through layoff, no one does any really work.

Ferris decides to tell the story in first person plural, the narrative “we.” As he puts it,

“Companies tend to refer to themselves in the first-person plural – in annual reports, corporate brochures, within meetings and internal memos, and, in particular in advertising. What used to be the “royal we” might now be thought of as the “corporate we.” It’s not just a company’s way of showing unity and strength; it’s also a matter of making everyone feel as if they’re a member of the club.”

Every company that I have ever worked for the Big Boss Person always refers to the underlings and themselves as “we”; “We had a stellar quarter” or “Although we accrued some financial losses, we will recover” and so on and so forth. I think it was a brilliant idea to write it this way and truly pulls the reader in and makes them feels like their an employee within the organization.

The story can be confusing because its jumps from one person’s story to the next and you can never tell whether an event happened in the present or the past. One minute someone has been layed off, and the next paragraph the narrator is telling a story about that person from last week. It can be hard to follow.

I believe Ferris does a great job of capturing an office’s dynamic between all the petty bullshit, mundane tasks, and the real camaraderie that co-workers feel towards each other. I can honestly say that some of my best friendships have started through my job. I have met and worked with a lot of amazing people and have developed wonderful friendships with them. Working with people creates a unique bond and I have kept in touch with a lot of my past co-workers.

This book also reminds me that work isn’t everything or it shouldn’t be. Its good to have a nice balance between work and play; on your deathbed you don’t want to assess your life and realize that all you’ve done is work and you never got a chance to truly live.

Cocktails for Three

2008-05-30T11:01:00.001-04:00

Cocktails for Three by Madeleine Wickham, who also writes under Sophie Kinsella, is a fun chick lit novel, light and breezy as I like to say.

The novel centers around three friends who all work together at The Londoner (a magazine). Maggie is the career driven editor who is about to have her first baby and is nervous as hell about it. Roxanne is the freelancer who has been having a secret affair with the big boss man for the last six years. And Candice is a writer who has a heart of gold and feels guilty for her conman father who has screwed many people over the years.

The girls meet up once a month to gossip and catch up over cocktails. And that’s where Heather infiltrates their lives. Candice immediately recognizes her as a childhood friend whose family lost everything because of her father. Candice feels immense guilt over her father’s misdeeds and decides to make it up to Heather by getting her an interview at the magazine. Maggie and Roxanne are skeptical of Heather and warn Candice to be cautious.

Candice of course does not listen to the friendly advice and also invites Heather to move in with her (who does that by the way?). Little does she know that Heather is scheming to ruin her life. Maggie has her own problems. After the birth of her daughter, she cannot cope with motherhood and feels inadequate caring for her child (postpartum depression anyone). Roxanne is offered a great job opportunity in Cyprus and is deeply upset when her lover tells her to take it not. She does not know that he is dying from cancer.

They meet up for their monthly cocktail night when Candice drags along Heather. Maggie and Roxanne are not happy and this causes a rift between the three friends. The night ends badly with all three ladies upset at one another.

Eventually Heather’s shows her true colors and Candice is suspended from work for expense fraud. Candice has no one to turn to since her big fight with the other girls and must figure out how to clear her name. Will her friends come back to her in time?

I only picked up this book because I saw that Madeleine Wickham also writes as Sophie Kinsella, and I love Kinsella’s work. While I enjoyed Cocktails for Three, I think I prefer the writing style of Kinsella better. I always find it interesting when authors have multiple pen names. I know that some do it so that they can branch out of their typical genre and want to explore a different writing format or express themselves in another manner that may not be suitable to their typical reader. But in this instance it just seems weird that Kinsella would have another pen name in the same genre. The only real difference that I pick up on is that Wickham seems to be more mature chick lit, while Kinsella seems more whimsy hipper chick lit.

I may have to read them back to back to see if I can pick up any more differences between the two. I’m sure there has to be since she uses a pen name. I wonder which one is really her; maybe neither is her real name. Kinsella is definitely more successful and well known and has written more books.

"Singing in Korean, He's Singing in Korean"

2008-05-14T22:24:00.004-04:00

OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I cannot believe I missed this! For the last two years, Stephen Colbert has lost out to Korean pop superstar Rain in the Time's 100 Most Influential People Award. In 2007, Stephen came in 2nd behind Rain, this year he finished 3rd behind Rain.

Stephen mocked Rain by doing his own Korean pop video which can be seen here.

Stephen from there challenged Rain to a dance off, which apparently happened last week!!!! I cannot believe I missed this. You have to watch this. It's so freaking awesome. I heart him.

Please Don't Stop the Music

2008-05-14T22:08:00.003-04:00

I got my ipod nano back in 2006; it was an early birthday present to myself and I wanted to have it for my trip back to Thailand. My nano can hold around 1000 songs and sadly I only have 463 songs on it. I think the last cd I uploaded on it was The Evolution of Robin Thicke.

I mainly use my ipod now to download the podcasts of The Junkies so that I can listen to them when I’m at work or when I work out. I have never downloaded music from itunes. I used to download music the illegal way, but am too paranoid that the recording industry will come after me and demand shitloads of money from me.

So instead when I want to listen to a song, I go to youtube and play the video of the song I’m feening (I don’t think that’s how you spell that) to hear. Not only do I get to hear the song, but I also get to see the video, and for free! It’s silly! It’s also probably ghetto, but whatevs.

I seriously never listen to music on my ipod anymore. Occasionally when I’m in a bad mood or falling asleep at work I’ll listen to music to bump up my mood or wake my ass up. The few times I do this I realize I skip through a lot of songs. Its time to clean up the ipod and get rid of ditties that just shouldn’t be on there.

But I’m getting sidetracked. I came across Ne-Yo’s video called Closer and it’s my new favorite song. Its so sexual and hot and so Ne-Yo. He looks good in the video and I love the mix of slow beats and then ramped up club beats throughout the song.

From there I started to listen to Ne-Yo’s other songs like Because of You and Sexy Love and realized that each song reminded me of a different guy and I couldn’t help but smile and dance around crazily to each one of them.

Because of You reminds me of The Boy during our sexual high. All it took was hearing his voice and I was turned on, with his lazy drawn out way of saying my name, I was in my car headed over to his place. My favorite line, “I love the way you feel, just got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real. I need it when I want. I want it when I don’t.” He could just look at me and I wanted him. Our sexual attraction was strong, sometimes even too strong for me. And I was completely and thoroughly strung out on him and I could care less. He was my drug and I needed the fix constantly.

Sexy Love always makes me think of The Ex. My favorite line, “She makes the hair on the back of my hand stand up, just one touch.” When it was good between us, it was amazing, nothing compared to it. I was soaring when I was with him. I finally got what it meant to be in love. When we were together, we could never stop touching each other. A part of us always had to be touching, like we were afraid to let go. I just remember staring into his eyes and seeing myself in them and I knew I could get lost in there for hours and I knew there was no other place I’d rather be.

I think its great how songs can transport you back in another lifetime. I also think its interesting that two Ne-Yo songs remind me of two very different people. Check out Closer below.

The Other Boleyn Girl

2008-05-12T23:16:00.001-04:00

After seeing previews for The Other Boleyn Girl, I knew I wanted to read the book by Philippa Gregory first. I have always been intrigued by this time period mainly because when I first stared reading trashy romance novels, they were always set during either King Henry VIII’s reign or Queen Elizabeth’s reign. The Other Boleyn Girl was no trashy romance book, but a historical fiction told through the eyes of Mary Boleyn, who was once mistress to King Henry VIII and watched the rise and fall of her sister Anne Boleyn.

A brief history lesson, Henry Tudor broke free from the Roman Catholic Church, so that he could set aside his marriage to Katherine of Aragon, and instead marry Anne Boleyn. This was huge during that time period because the Church no longer held authority and Henry seized all the power. His whims ruled everything and to question Henry could result with your head on the chopping block.

Mary is the narrator of this story and from the beginning she touches upon the rivalry between her and Anne. As Mary states, “There could hardly be a world for me without Anne, there was hardly world enough for us both.” They are night and day from one another. While Mary is fair and angelic, Anne is seductive and bold. But both are Boleyn girls and must heed to their family’s never ending ambition.

First Mary becomes Henry’s mistress and Anne must serve and help Mary advance the family name. Mary keeps the king’s attention for a few years and even has two children by him. Eventually his attention wanes and he begins to sniff around the other Boleyn girl. Soon Mary is commanded to step back while it is Anne’s turn to make a play at the King.

Anne will not settle for being Henry’s whore like her sister and instead has sights for the throne. Anne’s ambition knows no end and she will stop at nothing to achieve her goal. As history notes, she does become Queen, but the price is deadly. After giving birth to Princess Elizabeth, Anne knows that her next child must be a male heir. Unfortunately she cannot carry a child to term after that and is accused of witchcraft, adultery and incest where she is found guilty and beheaded.

Mary is a bystander in all of this and must watch in horror the choices her sister makes to accomplish her desires. Upon watching her sister’s beheading, Mary states, “And then the sword came down like a flash of lightning, and then her head was off her body and the long rivalry between me and the other Boleyn girl was over … He [the King] had taken my other self: Anne.”

Philippa Gregory did such an amazing job painting a vivid picture of this time period. While I felt the book ran a little long, I did love all the detail and attention she put into the story. She stayed true to the historical timeline and depicted the events as she imagined how they occurred.

I loved the relationship between Anne and Mary. They were sisters and cared deeply for one another, but also their worst enemy at the same time. They always tried to best each other and in the end, Anne paid the biggest price for it. Anne was such an interesting character to read. You could feel her determination and strength but also her desperation to maintain her hold on the King and how it drove her to do inexplicable acts. I also liked how Gregory chose to use Mary as the narrator. Her docility and sweet manner was a nice disparity to Anne and it played out well in the story. Until this book, I never even knew there was another Boleyn girl. History only writes about one.

There are so many other themes involved with this novel that I could go on and on about each one. Gregory touches upon homosexuality, women’s rights, the sanctity of marriage, socio-economic classes and so forth. The book is well balanced and I really enjoyed reading it. It gave me a keener insight into Henry’s reign and I want to pick up her novel, The Virgin’s Lover, which is about Henry’s daughter, Queen Elizabeth.

Clock Strikes Midnight

2008-05-07T21:10:00.001-04:00

“For the first time, in a long time, I admit it; I want to be in a relationship. It’s taken me awhile to come to this realization. I’m usually the first girl to praise the values of singledom and that you do not need a man to make you happy. And I’m still a firm believer that the only person that can make you happy is you.

Now that I’ve hit some personal accomplishments such as buying my first home and climbing the corporate ladder at work, I want to have someone special to share these joys with. My relationship clock is ticking and I feel the passing of every second.

When I come home, I notice how very quiet and empty my place feels.”

This was originally what I was writing about my single life and how I want a relationship and then I had a semi-date on Wed and I’m rethinking everything. Ok, maybe not everything. Regarding my semi-date on Wednesday, while it was a fun evening, the timing is off. If perhaps this was three years earlier or maybe three years into the future, things would be different. Now I’m getting sidetracked.

Let me backtrack here. An old friend/co-worker was in town this past week. When we worked together we had a steady flirtation and even after I left the company and he moved, we still kept in touch. So naturally when he was in town, we met up for dinner.

We flirted throughout dinner and by the end of the night ended up making out in the car like teenagers. He was kissing me with so much passion and need and I completely freaked out. It was too much for me. I felt suffocated and trapped. I couldn’t handle the emotions behind the kiss. And there was a lot. I mean, we have been building this flirtation up for years and I was surprised by how much he wanted me. I probably shouldn’t have been.

Of course the minute he becomes available, I want to run screaming in the other direction. It’s so typical of me. But to be fair, logistically it can’t work right now. We don’t live in the same state, and at least for me the timing isn’t right. The crush I had on him before isn’t there for me now. I still admire and respect him and think he’s a great catch, and maybe further down the road I will feel differently. But right now, it doesn’t feel right.

And now I’m torn because I play the game so well and know exactly what to say to keep a guy interested, but the minute I feel him getting to close, I balk and panic. I know its because I’m scared of getting hurt and I need to be open to that possibility. I’ve just been burnt badly the few times I’ve done it, and it makes me more frightened for the next time.

But I meant it about what I wrote earlier before my date. I have been lonely for a while and I do want to share my life with someone. I see my friends that are married and how much love and trust that they have for one another and I know that I want that. I want to come home and share how my day has been with him. I want to hear about his day. I want us to make dinner together and then sit back on the couch and relax together. And then I want to walk up the stairs and fall asleep together.

And I know that before I can do any of this, I need to stop playing the games. I need to stop the flirting and stringing along and open myself up to whatever may come. No more pushing guys away the minute they start to really get to know me. Because I’ll never get what I want if I keep doing this.

Tick Tock Tick Tock

2008-04-28T23:09:00.001-04:00

My close friend gave birth earlier this month to a beautiful baby girl. Both Mother and Daughter are doing great! I’m so happy for her. I know that she will make a great Mom and her husband will make a great Dad.

Her baby is so precious, but seeing how tired she looks, I just know that I’m not there yet. I’m way too selfish and can barely take care of myself; I cannot imagine being responsible for another life. I know that emotionally I’m not ready to be a mother either. I need to fix some of my personal issues first before I take on the task of rearing children.

I know I’ve said it before that I just don’t like kids and mainly its because I don’t know how to relate to them. Even when I was younger and used to baby-sit (I was actually probably only 5-8 yrs older than my charges), I had a hard time interacting with them. I don’t know how to kid it down and bring it on their level.

Kids make me nervous because I feel like they can see right through me and know that I’m a complete fake. There are no fooling children, they observe so much and can be brutally honest. They also look like the suck the life out of you, are needy and dependent.

But I do want one. I want to experience what its like to be a mother and to love another being more than life itself. I want to experience the joys and triumphs of parenthood along with the trials and tribulations that come with it. My biological clock has not started ticking yet, but I do feel it winding up. It’s slowly preparing itself.

Seeing my friend and her new family, I was envious. Not because I want a baby right not, but I want that special bond that her and her husband share. The way they look at each other, the intimate smiles they give, the sweet way he takes care of her because she’s so tuckered out from being with the baby all day. I want that. I want to find someone I love so much that I want to make a baby with him.

My biological clock isn’t ticking for a baby, but it is ticking for a relationship …

To be Continued ...

Another Day, Another Meme

2008-04-24T20:58:00.003-04:00

Yay, another meme. I got this off of Bernie's blog. Meme's are such great time wasters and space-taker-uppers.

You're Feeling: Hot, very very hot. Stupid freaking hot flashes. I'm really starting to believe I have a hormonal imbalance.

To Your Left: "To the left, to the left ... I could have another you in a moment" ... Oh wait, that's another to the left. My living room is to my left.

On Your Mind: Nothing and everything ... knowing when to let go ... knowing when its time to move forward ... knowing when to not overthing every potential situation that I could get myself into.

Last Meal Included: Butternut squash ravoli, pretty tasty actually for a microwave dinner.

You Sometimes Find It Hard To: Not stress and worry about everything ... to sit still and take in the moment.

The Weather: Gorgeous and 70's, which I could be outside all day enjoying it.

Something You Have a Collection of: Coats and jackets.

A Smell That Cheers You Up: Clean towels and honeysuckles.

A Smell That Can Ruin Your Mood: Cigars.

How Long Since You Last Shaved: Last night I actually shaved my legs for the first time in two weeks.

The Current State of Your Hair: Messy and kinky.

The Largest Item on Your Desk/Workspace (not Computer): My glass of water.

Your Skill with Chopsticks: For an Asian, its pathetic, but I am getting better.

Which Section do you Head to First in a Bookstore: New fiction.

Something Your Craving: My 2nd income.

Your General Thoughts on the Presidential Race: Color me not interested. As long as the Dems can overthrow the Repubs, I'll be happy.

How Many Times Have you Been Hospitalized This Year: Zippy.

Favorite Place to go for a Quiet Moment: My car so that I can drive or my balcony.

You've Always Secretly Thought You'd be a Good: Cook, apparently, I'm not.

Something That Freaks You Out a Little: That I'll never reach my fullest potential or that I won't even realize it when I do, I guess that freaks me out a lot. Rising gas prices freak me out a little.

Something You've Eaten Too Much of Lately:Fast food, current favorite is Five Guys.

You Have Never: Made a meal I actually enjoyed.

You Never Want to: Stop Dreaming.

On a Side Note Pt 11 ...

2008-04-22T22:32:00.003-04:00

- I really hate people who drive 60 miles or less in the fast lane of the beltway. Get out of my fucking way and move over to the slow lane. Why the hell are you even driving on the beltway?

- I really want to update my spring wardrobe. I work with a bunch of cute young girls, who dress uber-well and I feel frumpy standing next to them. I still have $100 gift card from my b-day that I have yet to use, but am not spending it yet until I lose some weight.
This is my motivation to start working out again.

- I did swim laps last week. About died after it was done. And I think I was sweating while in the pool. When I was finished my face was bright red, I was gasping for air, and for a moment there I thought I was about to pass out. My muscles started tightening up as soon as I got out of the water. So hurtin.

- I love my new couches. I finally have nice furniture and can invite people over without feeling embarrassed. People can actually sit down and not sink to the bottom of the sofa. My favorite things to do now are lay on my couch and read my book or take a nap. Even Weasley loves the couches and snuggles next to me while I’m laying on them. I have spent my tax return before I even got it, but they are so worth it.

- I know that The Hills is completely fake and yet I cannot not watch it every Monday. I have to know what is going on in the lives of LC and Heidi even though I usually know because of Perez Hilton. I don’t believe for one moment that Heidi and Spencer are on a relationship vacation or that Lauren could have gotten the job at People’s Republic if she didn’t have her own tv show. But I’m obsessed with the show and next week Stephen comes back and I kinda heart him.

- Seriously why the hell do the goddamn birds chirp so loud in the morning? Don’t they realize that not everyone is an early riser hunting for the worm? Every morning I wake up to their incessant chirping and I want to throw rocks at them to shut up.

- Heat apparently does rise and my upstairs is warmer now that the weather has gotten nicer. When I go to sleep, I need it to be an icebox. I like to be snuggled under my duvet even during the summer. The last few nights, I’ve had my windows wide open, my ceiling fan on high, and I was still hot. I had to go get my small fan and will now try having two fans blowing air on me to see if it helps me sleep better.

- I have not had any serious action since November. I am coming upon my six-month rule. I refuse to go longer than six months without. If I go longer than six months I become very grumpy. I will have to rectify this situation soon.

- I am trying to come up with my “30 Things to do Before I Turn 30” list and so far have only eight items listed. I’m stumped and can’t think of anything else I want/need to do. Does that mean I’m boring?

- My favorite sound in the world is listening to Weasley purr as he sits in my lap while I pet him. It’s so soothing. God, I need a boyfriend.

- My ten-year high school reunion is coming up and I cannot be bothered to go. Actually I know I will not be going because its BFE’s birthday weekend and I would rather be out with her celebrating her b-day than seeing the 90210 crowd that still thinks their the shit.

- I cannot believe ten years has gone by since I’ve been in high school. It seems like yesterday and a lifetime ago. What an interesting time. My high school experience can best be summarized as bumpy, but I also had some great times during those four years. Knowing what I know now, would I change certain things, and I’d have to say YES! But there really is no point in playing the “What If” game.

- I wish I wasn’t such a Nervous Nelly and didn’t over think every potential situation that I can get myself into. I wish I could learn to not be such a control freak and just breathe and let things play out naturally instead of trying to mastermind and determine the outcome. I think I would have more fun if I allowed myself to do that.

- I cannot remember the last time I played in the rain. I need to do that soon.

- I need to figure out what I want out of my life and stop trying to please those around me. I need to live for me and not for my family or friends or work or past loves. I try to hard to please everyone else and end up forgetting about myself.

- I am looking forward to a vacation. Not sure when, where or how I’ll be taking that vacation, but I can’t hardly wait for it.

- Sex and the City is coming to theaters on May 30! I have been gearing up by watching all the old season. Right now I’m in the middle of season 4 where Carrie gets back together with Adian only to break his heart all over again. Sometimes I hate, hate, hate Carrie and just want to smack her for being so self-centered. I love the show and really hope the movie does it justice.

- Gas prices are soaring and it’s killing me. The other day it cost me $50 to fill up my tank! $50 is a nice dinner out or a nice pair of sandals! $50 should not be what it costs to fill up my tank!

- I introduced my coworker to I Can Has Cheezburger; he has in turn introduced me to I Has a Hotdog. Hilarity ensues, and we never get any work done. Seriously, I need a boyfriend.

Punting Monday

2008-04-14T16:43:00.015-04:00

Since I'm tired and have been punting all day at work, I decided to do the picture survey on Kiah's and Jamie's blog.

1) What is your relationship status?

2) Who is your celebrity crush?

3) Who is your favorite band?

4) What is your favorite movie?

5) What kind of pet do you have?

6) Where do you live?

7) What do you do at work?

8) What do you look like?

9) What do you drive?

10) What's your favorite tv show?

11) Describe yourself:

12) What's your name?

13) What's your favorite candy?

To My Dearest Friends

2008-04-13T21:38:00.003-04:00

To My Dearest Friends by Patricia Volk is about two women whose only connection is the death of their dear friend Roberta. Nanny and Alice come together because Roberta has left them a letter. It seems to be a love letter written to Roberta, author unknown.

Nanny and Alice cannot agree on how to handle the letter. Nanny believes they should find Bobbie’s mysterious lover, while Alice believes they should destroy Roberta’s letter alone. Both are surprised that their friend had an affair.

During their entire friendship with Bobbie, neither Nanny nor Alice have ever met each other or interacted with each other. Roberta preferred to keep her friends separate one another and did not intermingle. As this passage indicates,

"Think we knew the same person, Alice?
No. We knew her differently. Each of us knew an entirely different person …
How well did we know her, Alice?
Alice considers before answering. “We knew what she wanted us to know. And I would not care to know more than that about
anybody. Would you?”

Roberta kept her secret and only until after her death did she decide to share it with her friends. And it wasn’t because she was ashamed of having an affair; she knew that with her death, her two closest friends would need each other for support. She knew they would need a new friendship to replace the one they just lost.

This book got me thinking about all my different group of friends I have and if I am always me when I am with my friends. I believe that for the most part what you see is what you get, but I do know I edit myself around different friends. For instance I may not talk about one topic with one friend, but will eagerly do so with another. Even with my BFE, there are certain subjects that would be better discussed with another friend because I know how she’d react. Does this make my friendships with individuals any less special? I don’t believe so.

I think we all edit ourselves in some shape or form. Everyone has a private life and chooses what information they share with others. Even with this here blog, I do write a lot about my personal life, but there is also a lot that I don’t put out there. There are certain joys and heartaches that are meant to be shared with others and there are private thoughts, fears and dreams that you want to hold close to your heart. And maybe when the timing is right you’re ready to share that moment with a dearest friend.

Heartsick

2008-04-05T21:08:00.001-04:00

Heartsick by Chelsea Cain is a psychological thriller that was very well paced. I believe with any suspenseful novel it needs to move at a faster speed compared to other genres. The writer needs to be able to build tension throughout the story where you are compelled to continue reading page after page. Cain was able to capture my attention with her debut novel.

Two years ago, Detective Archie Sheridan is captured and tortured by Gretchen Lowell, a beautiful and psychotic serial killer. After ten days of torment, she releases him and is arrested. Sheridan is on medical leave until another serial killer strikes the Portland area, targeting teenaged girls.

Susan Ward is a journalist and has scored the story of a lifetime. She is allowed all access to Detective Sheridan as he tracks the After School Strangler. Through her interactions with Archie, Susan uncovers the gory details behind his imprisonment and his twisted relationship with Gretchen. They also come closer to nabbing a new killer, which may put Susan’s life in jeopardy.

I like the idea of a female serial killer. Gretchen Lowell reminded me of Hannibal Lector. Both are extremely intelligent, show no remorse, and are insanely evil. They are engaging and dynamic characters and represent the darkness of humanity. Heartsick reminded of Silence of the Lambs especially the relationship between Gretchen and Archie paralleled the relationship of Hannibal and Clarice. Except Gretchen and Archie’s bond took it one step further with him being held her prisoner. They have this bizarre intimacy and flirtation with one another. It was a different twist.

As I mentioned, this novel was well paced. Cain did a good job with timing and keeping the action moving in an appropriate tempo. I also liked how she jumped back to scenes from Archie’s imprisonment showing his mental breakdown and acquiesce to Gretchen. It helped set up scenes regarding the newest killer and Archie’s motivation to come back to work.

It’s funny, my friends always ask if I get scared reading stories like this, and my answer is always no. Although this story is a fiction, events like this can and have happened in real life, so it doesn’t scare me. I get more scared by stories that involve the supernatural because theoretically it’s not real and unknown, and that to me is much scarier.

It’s been awhile since I picked up a good thriller. I forgot how much I liked this genre. I will have to add more books like this to my list.

Bleary Days and Restless Nights

2008-03-27T20:59:00.001-04:00

I am spent and have had no energy or motivation to do anything. And it’s clearly starting to show in my personal and professional life. By the time I get home from work instead of going to the gym to work out, all I want to do is plop down on the couch and just lay there. I don’t even want to watch tv because that requires focus and I have been living off of microwave dinners for the past two weeks.

I attempt to go to bed early, but find myself sitting in front of this computer looking up random shit on the interwebs. By the time I pull myself away from the putter, it’s close to midnight and I’m too tired to read my book. And I really want to read, but again that requires attention and focus.

Some nights I toss and turn, getting very little sleep. Waking up every hour upon the hour, calculating how many hours I have left until the dawn. By the time I do fall asleep, I am bitter because I know I will have to get up within an hour or so. Other nights I sleep well and still find myself hitting the snooze button for over an hour.

By the time I get to work I am tired, slow and groggy. I try to focus on the task at hand, but my ADD kicks in and I lose my train of thought. I find myself having to reread the same sentence at least five times in a row before my brain processes the information and comprehension settles in. I am doing the bare minimum to get by, hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.

I come home and the cycle continues. I have no idea what’s sucking up my energy. All I know is that for the last few weeks I have been exhausted. I need something that will kick my ass back into gear and reenergize myself. But for now I am going to crawl into bed and hope that I feel refreshed and awake in the morning.

Bet Me

2008-03-25T22:53:00.001-04:00

Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie was a cute romance novel and exactly what I needed to get me in the mood for hunting season (otherwise known as dating season). It was also a nice transition from reading dark, depressing novels.

I didn’t love the first book of hers I read, Manhunting, but I was willing to give her a second chance since she has written so many romance novels. And I really enjoyed Bet Me.

This book stars Min Dobbs, who just got dumped by the man she was dating because she refused to sleep with him. Her friends cheer her up by taking her to a bar when she overhears her ex making a bet with the gorgeous Calvin Morrisey that Calvin cannot get Min into his bed within a month.

And so the chase begins. Min is fuming over the bet, but agrees to let Calvin take her to dinner as payback. They both realize they cannot stand each other and leave it at that, but fate or chaos theory intervenes and Cal’s and Min’s paths seem to circle one another.

It’s certainly not a fairy tale romance, but despite themselves Min and Cal are attracted to one another. Min views Cal as a Beast rather than her Knight in Shinning Armor coming to rescue her and Cal surely does not see Min as a damsel in distress.

I think I enjoyed this book better than her previous one because this time her characters had a little more depth. And for once the protagonist wasn’t some rail thin bombshell, but a regular woman who has curves and insecurities about her body like most women. And Cal helps her realize that she is a beautiful sexy woman and loves all of her.

I know that all romance stories need some sort of conflict, which generally tends to be one person chasing the other or both characters ignoring their strong feelings for one another, and geez this sure explains a lot about my skewed view on relationships and romance in general. I think it’s perfectly normal to put up with a guy that ignores you or treats you like poo because I’ve been reading this stuff since I was a little girl.

Deep down inside, I’m just like Min waiting for some handsome devil to sweep me off my feet so that we can live happily ever after.

Quarterly Survey

2008-03-20T16:18:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posting on here. Life has been busy in Kim’s World and haven’t had much time for this here blog. As much as I like writing this blog, sometimes I feel like it can be a chore or pressure to get more posts out (all internalized in my head, mind you). I’m a freak, I know. Since I don’t want this blog to feel like a chore, posting may become sporadic for a bit while I live my life, but hopefully I’ll keep good notes for fun or mentally disturbed posts!

Anyways, its time for my quarterly End-of-Quarter Survey/Meme! This Meme is sponsored by the Lame-O Md Terrapins playing in the Not In Tournament Tournament (such a dagger, nubbins U Made a Bad Choice is in the Dance, and the real Maryland isn’t. The Turtles better win tonight. I have a wager on this one!)

One Word:

Yourself: Optimistic

Your Partner: Non-existent

Your Hair: Shiny

Your Mother: Nerve-racking

Your Father: Cheap

Your Favorite Item: Bob (battery operated boyfriend)

Your Dream Last Night: Ex-coworkers

Your Favorite Drink: Lemonade-Ice Tea

Your Dream Car: Acura MDX

Your Dream Home: Spacious

The Room You Are In: Office cube

Your Ex: Complicated

Your Fear: Regrets

Where Do You Want to be in 10 Years: Content

Who You Hung Out With Last: Lisa

What Your Not: Brave

Muffins: Banana Nut

One of Your Wish List Items: Open-toed pumps

Time: Not Enough

The Last Thing You Did: Got off the phone with my friend Kevin

What are You Wearing: Sweater and Jeans

Your Favorite Weather: Balmy

Your Favorite Book: Harry Potters

Last Thing You Ate: Beef Stew

Your Life: Rollercoaster

Your Mood: Upbeat

Your Best Friends: Loves em

What are You Thinking About Right Now: Workday Over

Your Car: Love her

Your Summer: Beach

Relationship Status: Ready

What is on Your TV: Blank screen

What is Your Weather Like: Windy

When is the Last Time You Laughed: With Kevin

Too Much Alcohol + Kim = No Good, Very Poopy Day

2008-03-14T10:36:00.003-04:00

This was me all day yesterday. Freaking tech support making me take a shot with them and stupid AE who kept buying me drinks all night. Man, I cannot party like I used to and especially on a skool night. I blame old age. I literally had a headache all day and could not focus. I almost feel asleep at my desk. Last night I just laid on the couch and did nothing except eat greasy food that my tapeworm Len requested.

see more crazy cat pics

The Road

2008-03-13T19:49:00.002-04:00

I have finally finished reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy! Geez, it has been a slow start for me regarding reading books. I’m just too tired when I get home and The Road had such dark undertones that I didn’t like reading it at night.

The book follows a man and his young son in a post-apocalyptic world where some unknown event has crippled mankind. The world is covered in ash, civilization is gone with only nomads and scavengers to roam the land. The man and his son have only each other to rely on and must navigate the road to reach the southern shore.

As I mentioned it took me awhile to finish reading this book not because it wasn’t good, but because it was a dark novel and I was afraid of bad dreams at night. But, wow, what a profound and stunning book. It was like an epic poem; the writing was so beautiful, the prose so striking. Even with the gloomy feel, the novel was not bleak at all. The love between the father and son was uplifting and embodies the greatness within humanity.

Even in this desolate world there is still hope. They have seen the viciousness and brutality of mankind and yet still believe there are good people out there. Instead of giving up and succumbing to despair, they continue to push forward and survive.

I found the father/son relationship so touching, it broke my heart; their utter love and devotion towards each other is so moving. Not once do they give up on each other. Its so breath taking and raw. I cried for them and I prayed, prayed that they would make it.

This book was a masterpiece and I’m so glad I decided to pick it up and read it. McCarthy is such a gifted writer. He captures the best and worst that this world has to offer and really makes you think and believe.

Busy Worker Bee

2008-03-10T15:39:00.000-04:00

Well it looks like my Type A personality has continued to pay off (and seriously, I have never been a Type A when I was growing up, what happened here?). I just got promoted last week into a Sr position! Yay me!

My job duties pretty much stay the same, but I do get a bump in salary and bonus potential. So that’s exciting.

It was awesome, during my review with my manager, she informed me that she recommended me for a promotion. I was going to ask the same thing, so the fact that she did it on her own made me feel really good. It shows that they have been recognizing my accomplishments and believe in my work.

And although this still isn’t my dream job, I am happy with all my accomplishments and recognition thus far. It’s gratifying to know that at least one area in my life I am doing well.

So as usual, I will continue to push and strive for more. It’s the only way I know how.

Paint by Numbers

2008-03-05T21:12:00.009-05:00

Besides going to Vegas, I decided to take a week off from work. I was bound and determined to paint my room and figured it would probably take me that long to get it done. I knew I wanted something that would be relaxing and soothing, but I also wanted the colors to be modern and sleek.

I’m a huge fan of color and hate to see boring white walls. I’ve always loved the tranquil calming effects of blue, so that was the palette I knew I would work from. I originally wanted to work with a sky blue that would really brighten up the room, but couldn’t find the right shade of sky blue.

I had seen some darker blues that I really liked, but was afraid that if I painted my entire room with that color it would make it look really small and dark. So instead I decided to go with a dark bluish purple accent wall and have the rest be silvery gray. It turned out really nice and unfortunately the pictures don’t do it justice (you really can't see the pretty gray color)

And surprisingly it only took me two days to finish it. I also had help in the shape of my Dad, my cousin and her friend. I’m sure if I tried to tackle this project myself, my room still wouldn’t be finished. Now I just need to accessorize.

My Favorite Subjet: Me!

2008-02-29T23:10:00.004-05:00

Well my birthday had come and gone. I am officially 28 years of age. I think its crazy that I'm two years closer to 30 and I still feel like a little kid. Since its late and I'm too lazy to post any thoughts or reflections on getting older, I decided to make it more fun. Here are some random facts about me:

I was born an hour before leap year. I was a breached baby and not sure why they waited till the last minute to have a cesarean.
I was also born during a winter storm and no one came to visit my mother because of the snow. She sounds a bit bitter.
My parents originally named me Tara, but because of some Thai superstition that it is bad luck to have the first letter be the same as the day you were born on (I was born on a Thursday), they eventually changed it.
They did not change my name to Kimberly until I was three years old.
My middle name is Jean and for the longest time, I thought my parents named me after Levi Jeans. I would tell people, "My name is KimberLEE Jean, like your pants."
My Grandmother, to the horror of my Mother, used to let me drink coffee with milk. Its no wonder I'm only 5'1.
My first memory is playing in the snow and crying my eyes out because I thought I was sinking to the bottom of the earth. The snow was really soft that day.
I am the youngest child, but really consider myself an only child since eight years separate my brother and I.
My parents told me I was NOT an accident.
I have this thing about numbers and like things to be even and in a certain order. I hate when things are odd and I try to even it up.
I rotate my underwear and socks. I feel bad if I wear the same pair over and over again. I feel like the other pairs aren't getting enough usage.
I hate spiders or any bug that can jump.
Even though I used to have frogs as pets, I hate them too.
I used to have an imaginary friend named Cindy.
My favorite color is a bluish purple, a color that reminds me of a deep ocean or a dusk sky.
Even though I hate odd numbers, my favorite number is 3.
I believe in reincarnation and past lives.
I hate pickles. They taste and smell yucky.
My favorite Disney movie is Fantasia and Sleeping Beauty.
I believe in soul mates and love at first sight.
I don't have a favorite flower.
I still have no clue what I want to be when I grow up.
I think my hair is too poofy and not the right shade of black.
My favorite feature are my eyes.
I'm addicted to massages.
I love old lady style purses.
I believe that 28 will be a great year for me.

"Ooooohhh Shit!" Vegas Recap!

2008-02-29T16:17:00.008-05:00

I had a blasty blast in Vegas. The girls and I partied our asses off. We done did Vegas proud. That’s what I love about Vegas, you do shit there that you would never do anywhere else. Such as drinking until the wee hours of the morning, molesting innocent statues, getting on stage at a strip show, and bringing a boy back to your room. Can you guess which one I did? :)

Since the majority of the trip was R rated, and this is a PG-13 blog, I’ll give you lovely reader, some of the highlights:

Went to see the hot Aussies from Thunder from Down Under. Man were they yummy. All of us were in heat, drooling over these men. One of the lucky ladies got on stage and had to perform an act to win a prize! And win she did; she had the entire audience screaming for her! It was silly.

We almost had a celebrity sighting. We were at this club and the DJ stopped the music and yelled, “It’s time we played some Ja Rule!” The crowd went silent and everyone started booing. Out pops Ja Rule and he’s like, “Aww, Vegas, that’s fucked up. That’s fucked up Vegas!” I’m like, oh shit, that’s Ja Rule. Too funny.

That's Ja Rule!

One of the ladies lost her wallet in the cab and I thought for sure the trip was going to take a downward spiral from there, but luckily the cab driver was nice and turned her wallet in. We proceeded to drink to celebrate the return of the wallet.

Another Hot Mama, had a boy of a puppy dog follow her around all weekend. It was really cute. He was a smitten kitten. He probably would’ve followed her home if he could.

Since there were technically three birthday girls, one of the b-day girls got tongue raped. Random dude at bar bought us bitches a round of shots. Random dude also asked a lady if it was her birthday. Silly girl nodded and he proceeded to attack her with his lips and tongue. The rest of the bitches cheered them on! The look on her face was priceless.

Another bitch got freaky with a hot ass guy in the hotel room. He was yummy and three of us ho’s wanted to attack him. One whore even suggested sharing him. In the end only one girl got the man, and use and abused she did.

Vegas was exactly what I needed! It was a great way to celebrate my birthday and a great time had by all. I have to thank Kiah for setting this up. It was so good to see her and Stacy. I loved hanging out with the rest of the bitches as well. Looking forward to all the debacles next year!

Here Comes Trouble Again!

2008-02-21T16:27:00.003-05:00

Heading to Vegas Bitches! Changed my departure flight to tonight to avoid the potential snow and ice storm heading my way. Can't wait to party it up with my girl Kiah to celebrate her and mine's b-days. It's gonna be a fun filled girls weekend with lots of male strippers and debacles. I may not be able to post about the antics. See ya when I return!

Songs Without Words

2008-02-19T21:33:00.003-05:00

Songs Without Words written by Ann Packer is a moving novel that examines life long friendships and how they evolve and the foundations that form the relationship in the first place. Liz and Sarabeth have been best friends since childhood and have supported each other through Sarabeth’s mother’s suicide, and now as adults when Liz’s daughter, attempts suicide, they realize that there are significant cracks in their friendship.

Packer also captures teenage angst and investigates the thought process behind Lauren’s suicide attempt. What were her thoughts leading up to it? Why did she feel that this was her only answer? Will the pain ever go away?

It’s always so interesting to see what sparks a friendship between two people and how they sustain the friendship over long periods of time. Liz was always the caretaker and supportive one, while Sarabeth was the emotional and out of control one. When Liz needs Sarabeth to switch roles and become the supportive one, Sarabeth fails her. Does their friendship have any real substance? Will it survive this obstacle?

Immediately when I started reading this book, I was sucked in. I could relate to it on some many levels; the pain and torment of adolescence, and seeing your best friend’s life move in one direction while yours moves in the opposite. At different points in the story, I was each character and I knew exactly what they were going through. I felt their emotional upheavals. I was angry, sad, stunted, and eventually uplifted. Packer did an outstanding job of making these characters real and vivid.

I was beyond depressed reading this book and not sure if it was the book that did it or my seasonal depression. Songs Without Words is very emotional and I think it started to rub off on me. I would find myself lying in bed at night crying my eyes out while reading it. And even though I related too much to the characters, I really enjoyed this book and thought it was well written.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-02-13T21:40:00.006-05:00

Wishing it was Spring or at least some nicer weather to get me out of my seasonal depression. I've been very blah lately. I guess I'll have to settle for pic of flowers from my Mom's garden.

Single and Curious

2008-02-09T20:17:00.000-05:00

Bernie over at F-f-fifty Something posed a question regarding dating and how dating has evolved over the years. I’m about to enter my late 20’s (dagger, that sounds hurting (I’ve really got to stop using The Junkies lingo that no one else understands besides Jones)), and I absolutely hate dating. And I’ve only truly started dating within the last few years.

Dating to me seems like such a chore. Some of my friends love dating and believe its so much fun. They love going on first dates and getting to know someone and finding out if your compatible or not. I think it’s just awkward and feel like I have to be on point and put on a good show.

I’d much rather already be in a relationship without having to date someone. It’s the lazy in me. I don’t want to work for it, which probably doesn’t bode well for my relationship, although in my last one it was I working to save it, but that’s another story. I enjoy being in a stable, committed relationship, I just think its really hard for me to get there.

My married friends say I should try on-line dating, that’s how one couple met, but I’m not comfortable with the idea. I hear its really easy and that you can pick and choose who you’d like to meet, and I can say no to the men I’m not interested in, and at the very least get a free dinner out of it, which should appeal to the dinner whore in me. I believe on-line dating is a great concept and has worked for many people, my friend included, but I don’t see myself heading toward that route just yet.

I prefer the old, “I have a friend of a friend” method to dating. A lot of my past relationships came about by meeting a guy through a friend. It’s fairly simply and am also privy to background information regarding the man. If he’s a bad egg, my friend will warn me, and if I still decide to go after him, well that’s my own damn fault (see about a boy).

I’ve reached a point in my life where I am tired of the bullshit games that men and women play with each other, but at the same time I feel like you can’t escape it when you’re first dating someone. I try as best as possible to be direct and honest with a guy, but I feel like that’s intimidating to him, so I try and tone it down a bit, which is then confusing. My co-worker says I’m difficult, but I like Kiah’s term that I’m an “alpha female.” I know what I want and am not afraid to say it.

I have been there and done the friends with benefits (FWB) and while sometimes I think it’s just easier to continue it, I want to be back in a relationship. I see the handful of my married friends, and I wonder what its all about and if its for me. I want to meet someone with whom I may have a future. I don’t want nor need to be married right now; I just need to know that it’s a possibility.

Battle of the Late Night Titans: Team Colbert!

2008-02-06T20:22:00.000-05:00

Who needs writers when you have late night comedy genius such as this!

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

2008-01-31T22:48:00.000-05:00

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling has Harry entering year two at Hogwarts. In the beginning of the summer, Harry is warned by a house-elf, Dobby that evil events will take place at Hogwarts and that Harry must not go back to school. Despite Dobby’s warnings, Harry of course attends school.

The school year starts off reasonably calm, but soon Harry hears a voice (that no one else can hear) wanting to attack and kill students at Hogwarts. A message scrawled in red reads, “THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED. ENEMIES OF THE HEIR, BEWARE” with the caretaker’s cat hanging petrified. Soon students are being attacked and no one knows who is behind it.

Harry, Ron and Hermione are determined to figure out who the Heir is and where the Chamber of Secrets is located to stop further attacks. Harry finds an old diary written by a student named Tom Riddle, who was around fifty years ago when the Chamber was first opened. Harry travels to Tom’s memory and learns that Hagrid, the grounds keeper, was charged with letting a monster lose in the school.

Hagrid is sent to prison, but the attacks continue and Hermione is the latest victim. Just as Harry and Ron figure out what type of monster is assaulting the students, Ron’s little sister, Ginny, has been taken into the Chamber of Secrets. It’s now up to Harry and Ron to save her.

I have to admit, the first few books in the series aren’t my favorite and Chambers is definitely at the bottom for me. We do get to meet a lot of new characters including the majority of the Weasley family, Lucius Malfoy, Cornelius Fudge (Minister of Magic), Dobby, and most importantly Tom Riddle.

Tom Riddle is pivotal in Chambers. Tom is able to come back to life by feeding off of the soul of Ginny Weasley. His original intent was to kill Mudbloods, but once he learns that Harry Potter attends Hogwarts, he knows he must come face to face with Harry. That is because Tom Riddle grows up to become Lord Voldermort. Once again Harry comes face to face with his worst enemy.

We also learn some similarities between Harry and Tom. Both are orphans, both have one pure blood parent and one half blood and both can speak Parseltounge. Dumbledore informs Harry that when Voldermort attempted his curse on Harry, that he left a part of himself with Harry, but the biggest difference between them is the choices that they make. As Dumbledore states, “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

The similarities and the connection between Harry and Voldermort will continue to play a significant role throughout the series. This won’t be the last time Harry questions it. We also learn that Ginny Weasley has a very big crush on Harry.

Harry survives another year at Hogwarts and also defeats Lord Voldermort for a third time. Geez, Lord Voldermort doesn’t seem so powerful does he?

The Wease

2008-01-30T22:34:00.000-05:00

moar funny pictures

Iz a Weasley!

Da One and Only Weasley!

Screen Shots

2008-01-27T22:46:00.000-05:00

Last week I got to go to the Ansel Adams exhibit, which was a really good and displayed a variety of his work. Not only did you get to view his famous landscape photos, but also some of his earlier work and other projects that caught his interest. It’s amazing how he can capture a moment in time so vividly. There were some pictures where I could stare endlessly, lost in thought, analyzing the details and emotions it evoked in me.

I’ve always had an interest in art and photography. I wouldn’t in any means call myself an artist. I can barely draw a stick figure and make it look believable. I tried taking a watercolor class, but I don’t have the imagination or the skill and all my efforts looked heinous. So instead, I appreciate artwork. One day I hope to have a great art collection hanging in my home (all originals of course).

I do like to take pictures, and again, it’s not even a real hobby or passion, but on a rare occasion I take a picture that I just love. Maybe I had the perfect lightening, or its one of my favorite subjects, but there are some pictures that I love to look at over and over again. I pull them out and say I’m going to frame it or enlarge it.

Here are some of my favorites pictures from California when I was visiting my brother.

I love this photograph of my brother and me. I like that our faces came out blurry and that we aren’t standing side by side. I love the rays of sunlight seeping in through the redwoods and we just look so tiny and minimal compared to the massive beauty of the trees.

I took this picture of a redwood because I was just amazed at the size of it. If you look closely, there is a charred trunk in the middle from a forest fire, and the surrounding trees grew around the dead tree. I also like the splash of green that comes out from the leaves.

Again, another shot with sunlight shinning through. I love how the sunlight lightens up the background and plays with the shadow of the trees. This picture speaks of serenity to me.

Here is a contrasting photograph where the sunlight is trying to peak through and instead you get nothing but shadow and darkness. The only color that really pops in the picture is the green from the leaves. The trunks look like huge black formidable pillars that reach into the sky.

I think I will make this a series in my blog where I post my favorite pictures.

Let it Snow!

2008-01-17T18:23:00.000-05:00

Today we finally had our first substantial snow fall in the DC area. It's probably only about three inches, but it was enough for my manager to let us out early, so for that I can't complain. Call me crazy, but I have been hankering for a blizzard. There hasn't been a real blizzard since the Blizzard of '96. I remember there being only in early 2000, but it didn't have the same impact as the '96 one.

In '96, I was still in high school, and school was closed for at least a week and all my finals were canceled. Every morning I got up, put on my snow pants, walked over to my bestfriend's house and went sledding all day. We would only go inside for hot chocolate breaks or if the cold became unbearable. It was awesome and I didn't once get cabin fever since we spent most of our day outside playing in the snow.

I think this area is long overdue for a blizzard. I want to get snowed in for a week. I have the perfect plan for my blizzard. I'll make sure to stock up on lots of good eats such as marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate, tomato soup, cheese and bread, fish sticks and french fries. I'll start my Lord of the Rings marathon and then my Harry Potter marathon. I'll lay in bed all snuggled and warm reading books and drinking hot chocolate. When I get cabin fever, I'll take the Weasley out for some fresh air and make little snow angels and snow cats. I'll ask the neighborhood kids if I can join them sledding and help them make snow forts.

I want a real winter with lots of snow. I want to stand outside, with my eyes closed, letting the snowflakes kiss my face, as I try and catch them with my tongue. I want the snow to continue falling as I go to sleep at night and wake up with the trees and grass blanketed in sea of white. It sounds so magical, but I know I'll be eating my words if a real blizzard hits. But I still want one all the same.

Should I be Offended?

2008-01-15T21:50:00.000-05:00

That after I pet and kiss Weasley, he immediately begins to clean any area of his body that I have just touched. He doesn't wait five minutes, he doesn't even wait three! The second my hand is off his body, his head is tilted back, tongue is out, and he obsessively starts licking away at any spot where my fingers have petted.

At first I took this as him being a very neat and clean cat. But then I began to notice that he does this every time after I cuddle him. Is my smell so offensive that my cat doesn't want the scent of me lingering on his body? I could understand if I just finished working out or sprayed perfume, but he does this after I shower as well. Well, now I just think its plain rude.

So to get him back, after he is finished doing a thorough cleaning job, I go back over and run my hands all over his fur. I mess it up real good too, by starting at the tail and working my fingers up, tousling his hair so that it looks like a mohawk. Weasley is livid and has this look of utter shock and outrage. He doesn't even wait for me to finish, and begins the obsessive licking all over again.

Revenge is sweet.

Digital Fortress

2008-01-13T19:47:00.000-05:00

Digital Fortress by Dan Brown lacked the umph that made The DaVinci Code such a spectacular novel. Don’t get me wrong, the story was suspenseful and thrilling, but I wasn’t as riveted as I was when reading DaVinci Code.

Digital Fortress is about the National Security Agency (NSA) and the Crypto department. Susan Fletcher is head of the Cryptography Division and is called into work to help Commander Trevor Strathmore solve an unbreakable code.

Unbeknownst to Susan, Commander Strathmore has also called her fiancé, David Becker and sent him on a top-secret mission to recover the passkey to help break the code.

As with any Brown story, nothing is as it seems and some characters are playing both sides of the fence. Its always fun to try and guess who is double-crossing or what some players real agenda is.

Brown loves writing stories involving codes or symbols and it amazes me how knowledgeable he is on the subject. He also throws in clues throughout to help you solve his little puzzle. It shows great planning and thought, which is what I love about his books.

Brown does a terrific job in building the suspense by keeping the chapters short and ending the chapter on a cliffhanger while starting the next chapter involving another character. It makes the story seem very fast paced and you cannot put the book down.

I think my biggest problem with Brown (and I felt this way too when reading the DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons) is that each situation becomes more and more over the top. Just when you think David is about to find the passkey, a stroke of bad luck occurs and foils his attempt to retrieve it. It gets to a point, where the story is no longer believable. I find myself exclaiming, “Are you kidding me?”

I was also upset that Susan Fletcher was not that strong of a character. I picked up this book in particular because the story was centered around a female lead, but she wasn’t a leading lady, more passive and allowed the events to control her. I was hoping she would take charge of the situation, but she didn’t and it was disappointing.

Digital Fortress was sub par to me, but you gotta admit, Dan Brown started this whole genre of novels involving hidden symbols and a race to save mankind.

No More Repeats!

2008-01-08T23:52:00.000-05:00

Will be my New Year’s theme. And by no more repeats, I will not repeat any behaviors or patterns that I consider to be unhealthy or unworthy.

No more repeats also means I will not go back to any of the men I dated or had relations with because I end up in a destructive cycle that does not move forward but continues to spin on repeat until I’m drowning in the abyss. I will only date new men and not going running back to old ones if the relationship fails. I no longer need that anchor that weighs me down and causes me not to give anyone else a real chance.

2008 is all about moving forward and letting go of unnecessary drama. I will try and learn from my mistakes from the past so that I won’t continue to fall into the same rut. If I see myself treading into destructive behaviors, I will stop and think about what triggers this in me and why do I feel it necessary to engage in such actions. I will not allow myself to get caught up in the same old shit as before and form more positive reactions.

Some other minor goals I’d like to accomplish this year:

- Decide on a career path for me. My last few jobs (including the current one I am in), I sorta just stumbled into them and while they have paid the bills and afforded me my lifestyle, they haven’t been my passion. I need to sit down and think about what I want to do as a career. And from there create a plan on how to get my dream job.

- Learn to curb my spending habits. I spend way too much money and need to rebuild my savings account. Currently I am living paycheck to paycheck and the Type A in me hates it. I need to get my finances back in order and start building up my nest egg. No more buying on a whim. I will only purchase items if I need it or have wanted it for some time and know that I will get good use out of it.

- Try not to take things to personally and let go of the little shit. “All the ifs, ands, onlys, and buts can’t change what is” – I read this once a long time ago and that was before I wrote down where I got it, so this will go marked as un-cited.

I know its only eight days into the New Year, but I feel very optimistic, which is quite unusual for me. I’m the biggest cynic you’ll ever meet, but for once I feel hopeful. As I’m writing this, I’m thinking my words will be biting me in the ass come end of year, but I’m keeping them up there to remind me and to not give up.

Books of 2007

2008-01-06T15:56:00.000-05:00

In 2007, I made a goal to read 20 books and I hit my goal plus one! Hooray for me. I tried to broaden the authors I read and picked up a few non-fiction books. Here is a run down of my analysis.

This year, I tried to diversify and read more books written by men. There is a different point of view when you are reading a book by a male. Male authors look at relationships from a different angle, and its even more interesting when they are writing from a woman’s perspective. Out of the 21 books I read, 40% were written by men.

I only read 3 non-fiction books this year, and two of them were memoirs. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion was such a compelling read. This memoir was one of my favorite books this year and I wish I had gone to see the play when it came to DC.

Another favorite book of mine was of course Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling. I think she finished off the series beautifully and answered all the questions that were in the previous books. Rowling made reading fun again and reminded kids and adults that there is a whole world out there that doesn’t involve video games or sitting in front of a tv or computer.

Some other honorable mentions of my favorite books are Eragon and Eldest by Christopher Paolini. The books fall under the fantasy realm and remind me of Tolkein, but not as wordy. I’m hoping he’ll finish the final book soon. Another great read is Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. It has an interesting concept and besides the science fiction twist, really displays relationships and our need to belong.

One of my biggest disappointments was Hannibal Rising by Thomas Harris. I have read of all Harris’s books and Hannibal Lector was one of my favorite characters of all time. He had so much depth and personality and was a man so evilly twisted. I could not wait to find out how Hannibal became this sociopath and felt rather under whelmed by it all. The prequel didn’t give you a real sense of why Hannibal continued to kill or what motivated him.

I will still keep my goal at 20 for this upcoming year. Towards the end, I found myself putting too much pressure on reading enough books to hit my goal, that I didn’t really enjoy some of the books that I was reading or picked books because of their length. The whole point isn’t just about hitting a target number, but also enjoying the story, getting lost in another world and experience different realities and viewpoints. I do want to read a few more non-fiction because I feel like I’m getting dumber since I haven’t been in school in over five years. I need to learn something or re-educate myself on a topic.

Here is my complete list of the books I read in 2007:

1) Eragon by Christopher Paolini
2) Eldest by Christopher Paolini
3) Hannibal Rising by Thomas Harris
4) Captive of my Desires by Johanna Lindsey
5) The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
6) The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
7) Baby Proof by Emily Giffin
8) The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly
9) Dear John by Nicholas Sparks
10) The Book of Air and Shadows by Michael Gruber
11) Can You Keep a Secret? by Sophie Kinsella
12) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
13) Being Committed by Anna Maxted
14) The House of Mondavi: The Rise and Fall of an American Dynasty by Julia Flynn Siler
15) A Three Dog Life by Abigail Thomas
16) The Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus
17) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling
18) Manhunting by Jennifer Cruise
19) Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
20) Heartburn by Nora Ephron
21) I am American (And so Can You!) by Stephen Colbert

Here is my list from 2006

1) The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown
2) The Historian by Elizabeth Kostava
3) The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger
4) Something Blue by Emily Giffin
5) The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
6) Marley and Me by John Grogan
7) The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella
8) The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
9) The Man of My Dreams by Curtis Sittenfeld
10) The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
11) From Baghdad with Love by Lt. Col Jay Kopelmen

The Year That was 2007

2008-01-05T22:50:00.000-05:00

Another year has come and gone and I cannot believe how fast this year has gone by. Life seems to get faster as I get older and I’m always struggling to play catch up. In a blink of an eye, December is over and I am staring at a brand new year. So let me sit and look back at the year that was 2007.

January: This year I decided to go with a theme instead of a resolution and my theme was to be open to new things. I don’t really believe I fully embraced the whole theme, but I did find myself saying “Yes” to things I normally wouldn’t do. I tried not to let the monotony of my life bore me or bring me down, and I found ways to keep myself busy.

One of them was beginning the house hunt, which I’ll touch upon later and the other was my goal to read 20 books, which I’ll go into further detail in another post.

I also got to go to Vegas for work where I did more partying than actual paying attention in meetings.

February: I turned 27 this month and as always let everyone know what special holiday it was. This year was low-key compared to years past; I didn’t need all the hoopla and it just shows that I’m getting older. Besides, 27 sounds like such a yucky number, no reason to get all excited for it.

I also went to North Carolina for a nice fun weekend.

March: I finally got my ass out to California to visit my brother. It has been three or four years since I was last out there and probably a year or so since I had last seen him. I had a blasty blast out there. I went skiing up in Lake Tahoe, visited the Redwood Forest, and spent a lot of quality time with my brother and his fiancé. Since we live on different coasts, we don’t see each other often and it was nice to hang out with him and catch up. Hopefully he’ll make a visit out here in 2008.

April: Comcast is the devil! And I bitched and moaned about it for days on end (geez, you’d think my life was over, actually those were the worst moments of my life ever!)

My cousins from Thailand were visiting and my one cousin is still here living at my parents trying to get into graduate school. They always take such good care of me when I go overseas that I tried to repay the favor and took them sightseeing and shopping.

May: Was the month of two fun filled crazy weekends. In a span of two weeks I went to two weddings, a graduation, a spring fling dance, partying with the gays and white water rafting.

I have never been white water rafting before and it was exhilarating. My main goal was to stay in the raft and only fell out once, which is pretty impressive. I went with a crazy crew and to see our adventures, click here. Kudos to Kiah for setting this trip up.

My friend Gwen finally tied the knot with her boyfriend and she looked so happy and radiant. My friend Sylvia also got married and it was one huge party that I almost missed my white water rafting trip. And my friend Michelle gradated from medical school. I am so proud of her.

June: I went down to SoBe to help my dear friend Shama celebrate her birthday (Man, I did not realize how much I traveled during the 1st part of the year). My good friend Jessie was also able to join me and it was trouble all over again. We stayed out late every night drinking and dancing and it was a show. I’m so glad the three of us were able to hang out and relive our hottie days.

I also started dating Mr. Nice Guy, which was a huge step for me because normally I would’ve said no. This is me trying to work on my New Year’s theme.

July: The final chapter in the Harry Potter series was released and for a week my life stopped. J.K. Rowling is a true artist and never before have I been so engrossed in a book. I barely got any sleep during that week because I could not wait to find out the fate of Mr. Potter and friends. I’ll say it again, if you’ve never read one, seriously go to your library and start reading.

I attempted to put my va-jay-jay on lockdown and failed miserably. I swear, I’m such a man at times.

The Nice Guy and me didn’t work out. We are good friends now and will meet up for dinners or go out to the movies. It’s very nice and there are times when I wish I felt more, but know that he deserves a hell of a lot better than me.

August: Was a very hard month on me. And while this month was emotionally draining, I really learned a lot about myself and grew a lot because of it. This month was a huge defining point for me and I think I’m a better person after my experiences.

My biggest goal for 2007 was to purchase my own home. The housing bubble began to deflate and I felt financially secure enough to start looking. Finding a house to me I could equate with how some girls wanted to find a husband. I felt like this was the next step in my life.

The first weekend I went out, I found my dream home! It was this adorable one-bedroom condo in the same community as my best friend. I fell in love with it the minute I walked in and put a contract on it the same day. I could not believe how lucky I was and that my dream was finally coming true.

I slowly started to prepare myself for the move and then fate threw me a wicked curve ball. And just like that, I lost my dream home. I was completely devastated, angry and betrayed. I could not believe this was happening to me and so close to my settlement date.

I was very bitter for the next couple of days, but instead of letting this incident bring me down or allowing my negativity to get the better of me, I recognized that things happen for a reason and that you can’t let it get the best of you. I could’ve let this unfortunate affair destroy me, but instead I sucked it up, pouted for a few days, and got right back out there and continued my search for my real dream home.

In addition to all the madness, one of my closest friends Kiah moved to the West Coast. I am so proud of her and admire and respect her greatly for following through with her dreams and ambitions. I can’t wait to see you in February in keeping with our tradition of celebrating our birthdays.

September: In a moment of carelessness, I backed into my neighbor’s car and my poor Gus Fiona had a dented bottom. I truly have no one else to blame but myself for not paying attention. She was so close to making it a full year unscathed.

I also got suckered into taking care of my friend’s cat, Peppers. I have decided that Mr. Weasley is enough cat for me and that I’m not quite ready to be Crazy Cat Lady.

October: After a month and a half of diligent searching, I finally found my true new home! I was a bit nervous and weary about the home buying process, but my realtor was phenomenal and really worked with me to find exactly what I was looking for. She made the experience very enjoyable and I’m super doper happy with my home.

I continued a destructive pattern/behavior with a boy. I was slowly reaching my breaking point with him and knew that something would have to change. But could I really do it?

November: I moved into my new place and have been loving it ever since. I was meant to be here. I still need to paint the walls, but there is no rush. It will happen in due time. Unfortunately my pet frog Dropsy didn’t survive the move.

I let go of my addiction with the boy. It truly was an addiction. I was addicted to him, the way he made me feel, the pain, the pleasure, the rush, the excitement, and the chase. I really believe this is the end. His pull isn’t as strong as it used to be and I don’t miss him the way I used to.

My family and I had to put my baby boy Puppy to sleep. My little guy, God, I still miss him. My parent’s house seems quieter and emptier without my rambunctious Fat Dog greeting me. He had so much life and love to give. I wish I could kiss him and hold him just one more time.

December: Since I traveled so much during the first half of the year, I needed one more getaway. My friends and I went to the Big Apple, where we mainly drank our nights away. It was a hella of a good time.

Wow, looking back 2007 was a huge year for me. I did not realize how much fun I had and how much I actually did this year. From buying a new home, to all my trips, I think I gave myself a new outlook on life. Overall the year was amazing and I really learned to adjust my attitude and perspective on life. I learned to enjoy the good and the bad and that life goes on whether you want it to or not and only you can control your outlook. I take it back; I do believe I followed through on my New Year’s theme.

Did I Miss Christmas?

2007-12-30T18:09:00.000-05:00

I promise I haven’t forgotten about this blog. Things have just been really hectic over in Kim’s World with work and the holiday season. Christmas crept up on me and then was over and done with it before I even got to enjoy it. I was back to work the next day with my nose on the grind and I still have to work tomorrow to close out the quarter. I barely have time to catch my breath here.

Even as I sit here trying to gather my thoughts, I have a mental list in my head running over all the other million and one things I still need to get done.

Things should slow down for me once the New Year hits. I still can’t believe Christmas has come and gone. I wasn’t so much of a humbug this year and tried to embrace the holiday spirit. Instead of bitching and complaining about Christmas, I just kept my mouth shut. I don’t think I really got excited, but I didn’t whine either. And for me that’s a huge step in the right direction.

Maybe if work weren’t so crazy I would’ve enjoyed it more. Or at least had time to appreciate the fact that Christmas was actually here.

I did spend the holidays with my family and it was low key and perfect. I brought the Weasley over and his grandparents spoiled him rotten. I even got them calling him their Grandcat (Sadly, I don’t think my parents expect much from me in that department and my Mother regularly calls me a spinster or old maid.) We opened presents, had a nice dinner and just enjoyed each other’s company. It was a great Christmas.

I should be posting my Year in Review and Reflections blog soon, and by soon I mean sometime this week.

Happy New Year!

Living it up in NYC

2007-12-19T22:29:00.000-05:00

Hmm, so its been awhile since my last post. Same old excuses: not enough time, end of the quarter, tired and lazy, and add Christmas shopping. During my absence I was up in New York City for the weekend.

My friends and I were supposed to go up and do the Holiday Touristy thang, but instead ended up partying and drinking the weekend away. It was me, Best Friend Ever, and some other friends and we stayed with Best Friend Ever's Future Ex-Husband, Kevin. We didn't make it out into the city on Saturday until 4pm and all we saw was the tree and then headed back to warmth since it was butt cold.

Here are some of the highlights from my weekend in NYC:

I KO'd Sharon and Vicki in Wii boxing. I'm currently the undefeated champion and Sharon is demanding a rematch. Bring it on Girl, and I will KO you again! By the way, I really want a Wii for Christmas. It's mooooneeey!
We went to this awesome club called Stereo, where the music was poppin. Every song was hot. I haven't danced the night away in ages and it felt so good.
Sharon wanted to get one of those stupid drawings of herself where your head is really big and you have a little body, and it looked nothing like her. She was so excited to sit there in the cold for this shady Chinese man, and when we went up to look at it, the drawing did not resemble her at all. We said the drawing was her alter ego, Sharona, and Sharona's a bit of a whore. And we also thought it was really funny to take a bunch of pictures with Sharona.
Saturday night we stayed in cause it was sleeting and we are poor and played numerous rounds of Asshole and Fuck you pyramid. I was only Asshole once, but also only Dictator once. I don't believe in democracy in Asshole, there is no VP, only me.

Overall a great weekend and exactly what I needed to feel refreshed. Friday night I was able to burn off a lot of the stress and Saturday I was able to relax. Enjoy the pics.

I Love a Good Holiday Party

2007-12-10T22:37:00.000-05:00

Hooray I survived another company holiday party! This year I brought Best Friend Ever along as my hot date and chaperone. Cause clearly, I needed a chaperone. So no inappropriate drunk dialing on my part. I did drunk dial a friend or two, but nothing inappropriate.

Me and Best Friend Ever

This year was fun, but I think I had more fun last year. Probably because I was a lot drunker last year and didn’t end up in my own bed at the end of the night. What are you doing to do?

Most of my night was mingling and trying to flirt with one of my co-workers. I have developed a crush on him, but this guy is not getting the hint. I don’t know how many coy remarks I have dropped, but he still hasn’t officially asked me out. We went out for drinks last week and have been chatting on-line ever since, but no real progress from that. And I know I could ask him out, but I refuse to. For once I want the guy to be the aggressor and not me. So instead I have continued to flirt and drop innuendos to no avail.

Me and Two Fellow Co-workers - note crush is not in any pics

I thought I was reading the signs correctly, but maybe he’s just not that into me (ugh, I really hate that phrase, but its so true). Maybe he’s just really shy or maybe he has no clue I’m flirting with him. Or maybe it was the face I made when someone asked him if I was his girlfriend (OMG, its coming back to me).

My company is huge; in our corporate office alone we have over 600 employees. I only know a handful of people. We were talking to someone in his old department and he asked him if I was his girlfriend. I remember making a face and him saying I work for the company as well. I don’t know if he caught my face. I hope he didn’t. Dagger. I don’t think it was the idea of him being my boyfriend, I think I was more embarrassed that I was being obvious and coming on to him. But then again, anytime I hear the word boyfriend, I do make an involuntary gag. I need to learn to control that.

Keila and I

I probably didn’t utilize the party to my full advantage, but again, I do not want to be the chaser, and I think I have dropped enough clues for him to figure it out. And I hate being the center of gossip, so I didn't want to draw too much attention to the two of us (not that I think anyone really noticed, but still).

The party was fun and I didn't make an ass out of myself, so I would call that a success. On a random note, my navigation system got lost on the way to the party, and the bitch made me go in circles. I kept screaming at her, "Do you know where you're going? I bet Garmin wouldn't get me lost!"

Holiday Lights

2007-12-04T19:51:00.000-05:00

Oh my God, this is so cool. My friend posted this on my myspace page and it rocks. You need your volume on for the full effect. Enjoy.

I am America (and so Can You!)

2007-12-02T22:12:00.000-05:00

If you’re a fan of The Colbert Report, than you’ll love I am America (and so Can You!) by Stephen Colbert. The book is an extension of his thoughts in print form and it is freaking hilarious.

When I first started watching The Colbert Report, I thought Stephen was egotistically, pompous, rude, annoying, and clearly narrow-minded. But the more and more I watched it and realized that’s exactly what the show is all about, I was hooked.

Colbert talks about what makes America great and what is currently ruining America. He hits upon subjects such as family, the media, religion, sex, dating, homosexuals, race, immigrants and so much more.

Every chapter is laugh out loud funny. He even adds little asides by having footnotes and margin notes that are hysterical. I like the book because it’s an uncensored version of Colbert that you just aren’t able to get on tv. He holds no bars and lets it all out – too funny.

Goodbye My Puppy

2007-11-29T23:19:00.000-05:00

Close to this time last year I was really worried about my dog Pepper. My Mom had noticed a decline in his health and the vet didn’t think he would make it to the New Year. But true to Pepper’s nature, he didn’t give up and his little body held on. We were all remarkable impressed with his spirit and even his Doctor said he was a fighter.

I knew that eventually his body would begin to shut down on him again and I was really hoping he could make it through the Christmas holiday. I even congratulated him on Thanksgiving for still being alive and making this the best Thanksgiving ever. He looked up at me and smiled, “Your welcome.”

By this point he had lost a lot of his chubbiness that made him fondly known as Fat Dog. His little face looked so gaunt, and for the first time in over ten years I could see his ribs protruding out. My little Puppy had morphed into an old man, even his eyes looked old, but they still smiled when I patted and kissed him.

Last night I said my final goodbyes to him. After Thanksgiving he lost his appetite, and for a dog that was known for loving good eats, that wasn’t a good sign. Yesterday he wasn’t able to lift himself off the ground because he was so weak, so my Mom made the call to the vet and then called me.

My Dad and I left work early so that we could have some extra moments with him before we had to say farewell. Luckily my Mom was off work and got to spend the entire day with him. When I came home, Pepper could tell that I was there, but he was so tired and ready to go.

I sat down with his head in my lap and let him know how much I love him and what a great dog he’s been and how lucky I am to have known him. I held him, stroked him and cried into his fur. I can’t believe my baby is leaving me.

We all went to the doctor’s to be with him one last time. He passed so quickly. I just laid my head next to his, breathing in his smell, savoring it for one more moment. My little Fat Dog was gone.

I got him when he was only six weeks old and I know he lived a good long life, but its always so sad and so hard to lose someone you love so much. Pepper was always the brave one, and he was always the first to get into trouble. He had such a big heart and was always happy to see us. Being my Mom’s favorite, he would follow her wherever she went and would bark and cry the loudest when she came home from work. And even though he loved his eats, he was never a beggar and patiently waited for his turn.

I bet right now he’s up there with Brownie, Coco and OC chasing them around with a huge stick in his mouth and a smile on his face. Brownie is yapping in his ear, so excited to have his twin brother back.

I love you so much Pepper, aka Puppy, aka Fat Dog. Thank you for always loving me. You have been such a huge blessing in my life and I will love you forever always. You are in my heart and I will see you in my dreams.

Pepper 1993-2007

Partying Ways Are Long Gone

2007-11-27T23:24:00.000-05:00

My coworker has this impression of me that I’m some sort of wild child (mind you, she’s younger than me), and I think it’s the craziest thing in the world. I consider myself quite tame and boring. I like nothing better than a quiet night in and a nice bottle of wine with either a good book or movie. I’ll admit when I go out with my friends, we tear it up, but I only do that about once every two months or so.

But she insists that I’m crazy and wild and that she loves it (she was my roommate when my company had our conference in Vegas, so she has seen my party girl side). And I continue to protest that I’m not like that, and that if she saw me in my everyday life, she would realize how dull I am.

The girl that could go out clubbing until 5am and do it all over again the next night is now in retirement. I used to do happy hours every night after work, getting shit-faced and still be able to function the next day at work without a problem. But now after four drinks and one shot, I puke before I have to go to work and am completely hungover the entire day. Such a shame.

But for some reason my coworker thinks I’m still that girl. Even though she knows I spend most weekends at home on my couch, losing myself in mindless tv. What’s really funny is that out of the group of my friends, I consider myself to be the tamest. If she thinks I’m wild, she would be blown away by some of my girlfriends. These young kids these days just don’t know.

On a Side Note Pt 10 ...

2007-11-25T22:12:00.000-05:00

Wow, I cannot believe Thanksgiving has come and gone. This year Thanksgiving completely creped up on me. I was so preoccupied with other things that I was shocked with how soon Thanksgiving was. In a blink of an eye it will be Christmas and then New Year's, and I will be flabbergasted that a whole year has come and gone. I feel like the end of the year just rushes upon us, and I'm never prepared for it. I know I say it every year, but I really cannot believe how fast it has gone by. My mind is still back at the start of summer not the beginning of winter and the holiday season. I just can't get over the fact that this year is almost over. Where did my year go?

Its a Meme!

2007-11-19T22:10:00.000-05:00

Yay its a meme. I got this from Kiah. Enjoy.

1) Do you still talk to the first person you fell hardest for? That would be a no. We tried doing the friend thing, but it wasn't working. He was hoping for more, and by that point, I was no longer falling.

2) Have you ever seen your best friend naked? Yes, I undressed her and put her to bed. Gosh, stop picturing it, you pervs.

3) Are you obsessed with someone? I don't think so. I'm just obsessed with the opposite sex.

4) Name something that you would like to eat right now. I can't wait for the turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and pumpkin pie.

5) Did you get any compliments today? I was told that I take very detailed notes in my quotes, but that my handwriting is horrendous.

6) Who were the last two people to call you? My Dad and my friend Jeff.

7) If you could pick the temperature of the outdoors for the rest of your life, would you? I would like a balmy 65, perfect weather for flip flops, a cute cami, and a light hoodie.

8) If you could have one super power, what would it be? The power to read minds.

9) What's your favorite smell? Fresh clean towels right out of the dryer.

10) What is your least favorite sound? A baby crying. You're a freaking baby, what problems could you possibly have? Your biggest worry is when's your next udder coming your way. Geez, cry babies.

11) Are you moody? Have you met me?

12) Last person you hung out with? With Rachel. She came over to see the new place and then we had dinner. Good times.

13) Have you ever toliet papered someone's house? Have I ever! Man, for awhile there in high school that was a weekly thing. My friends and I made this one girl's house look like it snowed.

14) Have you ever been to a nude beach? That's so funny. I was just talking to a co-worker about this. I haven't, but would go.

15) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? No, I don't like swimming in lakes, and I feel you can only go skinny dipping in a lake.

16) Listening to music? What are you listening to? Jack Johnson's Flake.

17) Have you ever been betrayed by your best friend? No.

18) Have you ever lied to your parents? Yes. I told a lot of lies to my parents growing up.

19) Have you ever worn your best friend's clothes? Yup. Since I'm currently house-sitting for her, I'm constantly going through her wardrobe, picking outfits for myself. It's great.

20) Have you ever thrown up from working out? No, I must not be pushing myself hard enough.

21) Ever had a bad haircut? Yes, and I've cried because of it.

22) Where are your siblings right now? My brother is most likely at home, getting ready to eat dinner. He lives in Oakland.

23) Name three things you did today. Bought my cousin a gift card, bought the ingredients to make pumpkin pie, and some filing.

24) Last person you text messaged? Best Friend Ever, complaining about the traffic I was sitting in.

25) Future kid's names? For girls - Madison, Isabella, Madeline. For boys - Adian, Owen,

26) What are you doing tomorrow? Turning in my keys at my old apartment, and then off to work where I will waste the day away filing paperwork and figuring out how to use Facebook.

27) Do you remember singing songs as a kid? Yes, Best Friend Ever and I used to make up dance routines to Madonna.

28) Are you allergic to anything? Pollen, dust, and cooties.

29) When is the last time you got flowers? Its been awhile.

30) Where were you two hours ago? At home.

31) Wherre were you four hours ago? At the grocery store buying stuff to make pie.

32) What does your hair look like right now? Its pulled back in a clip.

33) What have you eaten today? Yogurt, lollipop, Chipotle chicken bowl, mini M&Ms, fish sticks and a bowl of cereal.

34) Is your hair naturally curly, straight or nappy? I've got straight poofy hair, with a slight curl when it feels like it.

35) Who was the last friend you were in a car with? Rachel.

36) What are you looking forward to? Thanksgiving and having Wed-Friday off. Yay for five day weekends!

37) Any of your friends getting married? Chelsea, Dhrit, and Bee Bee. I will only be attending one of those weddings.

38) Is today going to be a good day? It better be.

39) Pick out a scar that you have and explain it. I have two bumps on my lower lip. I was riding my bike and turned the wheel sharply on some pebbles, I lost control, and fell face first on the asphalt. The scar is either from two pebbles still stuck inside my lip or the skin just healing funny. All I remember is that my bottom lip turned black while it was scabbing over and everyone made fun of me. Kids can be so cruel.

40) What does your phone look like? She's red and I call her Hot Scarlett.

41) What is on the walls of your bedroom? Currently nothing, since I haven't yet decided where I'm going to hang all my pictures and artwork.

42) What is your current desktop? Mister Bear! So cute!

43) Do you believe in gay marriage? Yes, I actually wrote speeches about it in high school and how people should not be discriminated against because of their sexual orientation.

44) What do you want more than anything right now? New couches for my living room.

45) What time were you born? An hour before leap year.

46) Last person who made you cry? The boy.

47) What is your favorite perfume/cologne? I wear Heaven by Gap. It has a nice clean fresh smell.

48) What hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex? I love dark hair with bright blue eyes.

49) Do you get scared of the dark? At times when I think of something scary before I fall asleep.

50) Do you like pain killers? Umm, yes! Which reminds me, I need to get some.

51) Who was the last person who made you smile? No freaking clue. I'm sure someone at work cracked a joke that I smiled to.

The Beginning of a New End

2007-11-17T22:27:00.000-05:00

It was a conversation I was expecting to have. It was a conversation I needed to have. It was a conversation that came way too soon. A part of me is resentful for predicting the outcome. The other half is just relieved to have it finally be over. It has to be over. I don’t want to keep regressing; its time to evolve.

The boy and I ended it -- again. But this time there was this feeling of finality, at least on my end. This time, I’m ready to let it go, for good. After three years of riding roller coasters with him, I think I’m finally ready to get off the ride. I don’t enjoy it as much as I used to, and I’m burnt out. I don’t have the energy to keep it up. I’m tired of pushing and working for something that may not be truly there.

We had agreed to take things slow and just let it happen naturally, but I still needed reassurances from him that this wasn’t all just fun and games. I needed to know that he was invested in this. He said he was, but this time I wasn’t.

I was too scared to trust him, so I continued to go out on dates. Except I didn’t really consider them dates, but outings with male friends, which I knew he would consider inappropriate (even if nothing happened). I wasn’t willing to give up that safety net, and I never told him about my “dates.”

Things seemed to be going great with us. I swallowed my instinct to pressure and prod and he was attempting to make more of an effort. I focused on today and stopped thinking too far out in the future. We were floating in a delicate bubble, caught in the currents of the wind and the softest gust could blow it all apart.

The bubble burst last week. A simple sleepover gone badly, with him telling me that’s he’s withdrawing and pushing me away, and perhaps I shouldn’t put up with it. After so many times of us taking one baby step forward and then two gigantic leaps back, I couldn’t go through it again. After leaving his place the next day angry and hurt by his actions, I already knew that we would have a talk and it would be over.

We both agreed that it shouldn’t be this hard to make it work. And I told him that I didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t really want to be with me. He asked if this is what I really wanted, and I said, no its not, but I’m tired of fighting for something that’s not there. He said that he cares for me deeply and that there is something there, but the timing isn’t right. I asked him not to call me for six months to a year, and he said he couldn’t promise me that, but I was adamant. I told him I needed a clean break and calling me three months from now would do neither one of us any good.

And then we hung up, and I cried. I cried for losing him yet again. I cried for the missed opportunity of what might have been. I cried for sticking around for three years hoping that we would get our moment. I cried because I knew that this time, I didn’t really have my heart in it, and kept myself hidden and on guard every time I was with him. I cried because I was scared of him hurting me, so I never let him in. I cried because I couldn't be honest with him. And I cried because I knew I would miss him.

I do think we’re right though. It should be this hard, and we’re both not really ready for this. As much as I want to be ready, I’m not. I’m not ready to be with him, and maybe I never will be. Maybe our history and how we started will always cloud my judgment or maybe we can reach a point in our lives where we can just be.

Is it truly over? I don’t know. Right now it needs to be. I need him out of my life for a while so I can clear my head. I need to be free of him.

Heartburn

2007-11-14T21:03:00.000-05:00

Heartburn by Nora Ephron seemed like it would be a breezy read, but it took me a lot longer than I expected, especially considering the book is less than 200 pages. But from the get-go, the book made me angry and I had a hard time relating to the main character.

Rebecca finds out that her husband Mark has been cheating on her and to make matters worse, Rebecca is seven months pregnant. And instead of being enraged over her husband’s infidelity, Rebecca is willing to forgive him as long as he promises to never see his mistress again. Right then and there, the story lost me.

I’ll put up with a lot of bullshit in a relationship, but cheating is not one of them. I have to draw the line somewhere. I’m already dealing with emotionally unavailable and selfish, but if you cheat and lie to me, forget it, I’m done. Thanks for reading the random rant.

Rebecca tries to deal with the emotional repercussions of her husband’s affair. Mark is a complete dick who doesn’t even seem to be in love with her. He is callous towards her and inconsiderate. I’m not really sure why Rebecca wants to stay married to him.

Her character made me very angry, and I just couldn’t understand why she would put up with him and his behavior. She is constantly questioning where the relationship went south and why wasn’t she more attentive to Mark’s needs. I think she just married an asshole and should be thanking her lucky stars that she now has a way out.

I was a bit disappointed in this book, especially since Ephron is the best selling author of, I Feel Bad About My Neck and wrote the screenplay for Sleepless in Seattle.

When Did I Become a Type A?

2007-11-12T22:27:00.000-05:00

About two weeks ago it was a normal day at work for me. I was sitting at my cube, most likely creating quotes or playing on the interweb (I would go with the latter). My manager, whose cube is directly in front of me (we share the same wall), says, “Kim, have you seen the e-mail from Vance* (VP of HR)?” I reply, “No, why do I still have a job?”

My e-mail server is slow and I’m on a 15-30 second delay so I still hadn’t even gotten notified that I had a new e-mail. All of the sudden I am getting instant messages from co-workers on our office communicator, all of them saying, “Congratulations!”

Finally I get the new message pop-up and click my inbox to see that I was one of employees awarded with “Employee of the Quarter.” I honestly was not expecting that at all. It was such a shock and completely gratifying. I worked my ass off in Q3 and I was able to close two regions at 100% and had an overall renewal rate of 97%. On top of that, I was also able to close out a majority of my outstanding General Motors renewals, some going as far back as June 2006.

I am really happy that my hard work has been recognized. I don’t know if other people are this way, while I am extremely pleased to have won this, my second thought was, crap, now the pressure is on to do even better next quarter, especially now that I have the highest generating revenue region. My moment of glory only lasted a half second before I cursed myself for being an over-achiever. I know, I’m insane. I have some major anxiety issues and really should just be happy for this huge accomplishment.

But now I’m gunning for two stellar quarters in a row. I have to keep pushing; it’s who I am. Perhaps if I win again next quarter, this will at least put me in the running for President’s Club, which includes a vacation to someplace tropical.

*Names have been changed to protect people’s identity.

Farewell Dropsy.

2007-11-06T21:39:00.000-05:00

While the move went really well, I do have to report one causality. Dropsy 2 did not survive. He lived two years with me and I feel guilty over his passing. It could have been avoided, but I was careless.

If you remember, I once had four frogs, but somehow they all died on me. Dropsy had a close encounter with death when I was transferring him to the tank to the fish bowl, but I managed to save him before Weasley got to him.

This time he wasn’t so lucky. I had put Dropsy in his fish bowl and he made it over to the new place just fine. I needed to hide him someplace where Weasley couldn’t get to him, and I chose the shelving unit in the living room. I did notice that Weasley could open the door with his paw, but didn’t think to move Dropsy to another cabinet.

My cousin and I were upstairs in my bedroom unpacking, when I heard the cabinet door open. I yelled at Weasley to get out of there and headed downstairs to check on the boys. When I opened the cabinet, Weasley was in there, but Dropsy was not in his bowl. Oh SHIT.

At first I thought Weasley had eaten him, but knew that he couldn’t have swallowed him whole, and since there were no random body parts around, I knew Dropsy had to be around the place somewhere. So my cousin and I started to look under all the boxes and trash bags. My cousin found him under a trash bag and surprisingly he was still alive.

She put him back in the fish bowl and I prepared the tank for him to go back into. He seemed to be fine, maybe a little scared, but he was swimming around in the bowl. I moved him into the half bath and shut the door so Weasley would leave him alone.

The next morning when I went to check in on him, he was stiff and swollen and laying at the bottom of the bowl not moving. Poor Dropsy did not survive. I’m not sure what did him in. Maybe he was out of water too long and his system couldn’t handle it or maybe Weasley injured him and he was bleeding internally.

I’m still not sure how he even got out of the bowl. I believe Weasley was swatting in the water, and Dropsy was jumping to get away from him, and Weasley used his paw to lift him out of the water.

Poor Dropsy. He didn’t even get to enjoy his new home. He was such a trooper too and survived all the other frogs that died around him. I’ll miss the poor guy and feel very responsible for his death.

Rest in peace Dropsy. You were swell.

It's Official: My New Home

2007-11-04T16:36:00.000-05:00

Yay so I’m finally all moved in and unpacked. Closing went without a hitch and I’m officially a homeowner. Or as my friend Matt says, I now just pay the bank rent. It’s weird to be sitting here in my new home. It’s slowly starting to sink in that I don’t rent anymore and that I can call this place home.

Living room

I already have ideas on what colors I want to paint and things I want to renovate/upgrade. I would like to install some recessed lightning for the living room and update the vanity in the bedroom. Besides that everything else looks really nice. The previous owner added a half bathroom on the main level, upgraded the kitchen, and added custom shelves in the bedroom and on the main level. I have stainless steel appliances, new cabinetry, new countertops and new tile floors. It all looks very nice.

Living Room

I love how big my bedroom is. My bedroom furniture is a bit ginormous, but it all fits in nicely with plenty of room to spare. I am adding more shelves to my walk-in closet, since I lost the hall closet with the half-bath being downstairs. My coats and jackets alone can take up an entire closet! It’s a dirty addiction.

Currently computer area, but one day dining room

I love the fact that this is a two-level unit. It gives the place a town-homey type feel than apartment. It also makes the house seem bigger. And I’ll get a workout going up and down the stairs. Having a powder room on the main level is awesome. I won’t have to worry about guest having to use my bathroom in my bedroom. That half-bath was a huge buying point for me, and from what I understand is the only unit in the community to have that.

Kitchen

I am glad to be out of my current apartment. When Best Friend Ever and I first moved there over three years ago (I can’t believe its been that long), the community was really nice, but over the years it has gotten a bit ghetto. I won’t miss hearing gunshots and then hearing helicopters hovering over my apartment looking for the shooter (although I wasn’t too bothered when it happened, even though BFE knocked on my door frightened). There weren’t gang shootings every night, but the population in the place is shifting towards that. I do have some great memories from living there, but I’m ready to move on and forward.

Bedroom

Overall I am really happy with my condo. I think it was a blessing in disguise that I didn’t get the other place. My new home is bigger and closer in than the last one, and while it may not be brand new the amenities are just as nice. I may not be living next door to BFE, but she’s only a 15-minute drive. While I didn’t fall in love at first sight with this place, after having all my stuff in here, I’m beginning to really enjoy it. I think I will be very happy here and am ready to create new memories.

Custom shelves in bedroom

Never Let Me Go

2007-11-04T14:43:00.000-05:00

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro was a slow read, but I’m glad I stuck with it and finished it. If you remember last time I tried to read one of his books and ended up stopping cause it was so slow. I’m beginning to think that Ishiguro is just very slow paced and you must continue reading to get to the good stuff. Perhaps one day, I will pick up When We Were Orphans and soldier through it.

The story starts out with Kathy H. reminiscing about her days at Hailsham, a private school in England. She talks about her experience growing up at Hailsham and her circle of friends, which include Ruth and Tommy. There is a sense that something is strange about Hailsham, that it’s not a typical school. The students are aware that they are different from others, but Ishiguro never reveals what makes these students unusual.

The students are obsessed with getting their artwork in The Gallery. Every so often a woman they call, Madame, comes and picks the best pieces of art and the children have no clue what she does with it and never question the guardians about it.

The book follows Kathy, Ruth and Tommy after they leave Hailsham to a place called The Cottages before they begin their training as carer’s. There is tension between Kathy and her friends. Ruth and Tommy are now a couple and it adds a weird dynamic between the trio. Eventually the trio splits up to begin their training and they all leave on bad terms.

Here Ishiguro slowly discloses that the Kathy and the others will one day become carers and then donors. Kathy is a clone and was raised to donate her organs, but before one becomes a donor, they train as a carer, who takes care of the donors. Kathy is an excellent carer and has not yet become a donor. She takes on the task for caring for Ruth and Tommy.

Finally everything begins to make sense to the reader and my earlier perception of Hailsham changes. We learn that Hailsham was created to raise the “students” in a humane environment. Before Hailsham, “students” were reared in ugly conditions and treated more like test tube experiments. We also learn the significance of The Gallery. As one of their guardians put it, “We took away your art because we thought it would reveal your souls. Or to put it more finely, we did it to prove you had souls at all.”

This book was really interesting and covered the topic of cloning in a very different way. Never Let Me Go does not read like a science fiction novel, and at first totally leaves you guessing to where this book is going. Ishiguro solely focuses on the relationship between Kathy and her friends displaying their humanity before he reveals what they really are.

The book made me think of the movie, The Island except that the biggest difference is that the students were always innately aware of what their purpose is life was. Their guardians never came straight out and told them, but always dropped hints to what they were raised to do. The students never questioned their destiny or Hailsham, until now. Miss Emily (a guardian) states,
“Look at you both now! You built your lives on what we gave you.
You wouldn’t be who you are today if we had not protected you. You
wouldn’t have become absorbed in your lessons, you wouldn’t have lost yourselves in you art and your writing. Why should you have done, knowing what lay in
store for each of you? You would have told us it was all pointless, and
how could we have argued with you?”

The book makes me wonder if one day we will start to clone ourselves to harvest our organs. With the advances already made with cloning it doesn’t seem like a far-off possibility, but with what consequences.

Happy Halloween!

2007-10-27T20:39:00.001-04:00

Weasley and Peepers would like to wish everyone a Happy Halloween!!!

Don't they look precious?

So cute that you want to eat them up?

Who doesn't love an animal in costume?

Please don't report me to PETA.

My New Home Pt 2 ...

2007-10-26T23:25:00.000-04:00

Sorry, but I won’t be posting for the next week or so. I won’t have internet connection starting sometime tomorrow and will only be able to post maybe if I get a chance at work. I think I should be safe sharing my news.

I finally found myself a new home and will be closing this Monday! After my last experience of finding a new place and then losing it, I wanted to wait until everything was in the clear before I wrote about it. Seeing as it’s Friday, and I’m two days away from settlement, I hope I’m not kicking myself in the ass by writing about it.

My realtor, Wendy, was awesome and made this experience really enjoyable. As I’ve mentioned before, I was really hesitant about the whole home buying process after what happened to me, and Wendy understood my concerns and fears and really worked with me. She did an excellent job of listening to what I wanted in a home and helping me find it. I’m really glad I worked with her, and if anyone’s in need of a realtor, let me know.

I will be remaining in Rockville and moving into this cute community where I actually know a bunch of people. Its in a prime location with access to the Beltway and I-270, and I’m less than a mile from a metro stop. It’s a two-level condo with a half-bath on the main level. This community attracts a lot of people around my age and my one friend is already calling it the new Melrose Place.

It hasn’t really hit me that I’ll be closing on Monday. I don’t think I’ll really believe it until it actually happens. If everything goes according to plan, I will settle on Monday and then move on Thursday. Again my apartment is in shambles because I’m in the process of packing. I have been packing two boxes every night, and I’m still not any closer to finishing. Seriously, how much crap do I have? It’s a bit out of control.

So the next time I post, it should be from my new home! See ya then!

Dumbledore's Out

2007-10-23T23:17:00.000-04:00

Shocking revelations were made this week when author J.K. Rowling disclosed that Albus Dumbledore is gay. Rowling felt that the time was right to finally “out” Dumbledore. I’m sure this has caused a stir among the Harry Potter fanatics.

I really haven’t had time to digest the news and if at all this affects my viewpoint on the whole series. I never really thought of Dumbledore in a sexual manner; I always considered him to be asexual. To me Dumbledore’s greatest love was Hogwarts and educating young witches and wizards about magic.

I completely missed all the hints that Rowling gave in Book 7, The Deathly Hallows. Apparently Dumbledore fell in love with his childhood friend Grindelwald, with whom later Dumbledore defeats in a duel (Grindelwald went to the dark side). I remember thinking that Dumbledore did seem obsessed with him, but I felt it was more because Dumbledore had finally met someone of his caliber, someone who was just as gifted as he was, and someone that he could relate with. Is that necessarily love? Well, according to Rowling, it was. Dumbledore was infatuated with Grindelwald.

I still am not sure how I feel about this revelation. Will this change my viewpoint going forward? Will I notice it while I am reading the series again? I haven’t yet cracked open The Chamber of Secrets so it will be interesting to see how this affects the way I read it.

Cats Playing With String

2007-10-21T19:15:00.000-04:00

My friend Kiah is under the impression that I spend a lot of my time watching, "Cats playing with string" videos on youtube. That's a blantant lie. I have much better things to do with my time than look at cat videos. I like to sleep for one, and eat too, occasionally I'll read a book or two, sometimes I like to engage in night time festivties with my friends, of course there is tons of tv to be watched, but mainly I spend my time on websites such as stuffonmycat, and my new personal favorite omgkitty (she is so effing cute!). So with my busy schedule, I don't have time to be playing on youtube. But since Kiah believes this is what I do with my free time, here are some vidoes. Enjoy.

Man, I cannot believe how many videos you can find of this stuff. It's a sickness, I tell ya.

"This Love Has Taken its Hold on Me ..."

2007-10-17T21:54:00.000-04:00

I heart Adam Levine and last night I got to see him in concert. Originally I had gotten a ticket through work, but they only gave me one and I heard that all the top executives would be going. Didn’t sound so much like a fun time to me. I really don’t know too many people outside of my immediate department, so the though of hanging out in a suite with all the executives was a bit daunting.

I e-mailed someone that I know who actually works at the Verizon Center to see if he could get me some tickets. This person is shady and I was expecting him to proposition me again in exchange for tickets. There were hints of a proposition and I flat out refused anything, so was pleasantly surprised when he said he had two suite tickets for me. Score!

Me and Jessie

My friend Jessie was the lucky winner who accompanied me to the Maroon 5 concert. Overall the concert was fun, but I have to admit I got bored. I love their first album Songs About Jane and can sing along to every song. Their newest album It Won’t be Soon Before Long is good, but I don’t heart it as much as the first one. Although, I will admit, Makes Me Wonder is my ring tone.

They were on stage for about an hour and a half and played a bunch of songs from the new and old album, including my favorite song Shiver. Their stage show is kinda boring, and I spent more time looking at this girl in the next box over. I couldn’t tell if she was drunk or just had no rhythm, but Maroon 5 would be playing a slow song and she would be flaying her body to her own internal beat. It was quite distracting and the guy next to me noticed as well and took a picture of her. Poor thing.

Me and Jessie again

Adam Levine is a dreamy as ever and can play decent guitar. He did a little jam session for an encore and I just wanted to throw my panties on stage. He’s got this really great metro-sexual dorky appeal that I love. I also love how obsessive and moody he can be in his songs. They strike a chord within me.

I bet if they stuck with smaller venues such as 9:30 Club, their show would be a lot better. I can’t complain though, I got to go for free.

Sick Days

2007-10-14T21:49:00.000-04:00

Two Friday’s ago, I decided to give myself a day of rest, so naturally I called in sick. Sick days are funny; I never use them when I’m actually sick. I’d rather save them for a long weekend or a day when I wake up and I just don’t feel like going into the office.

I had been planning to take that Friday off for a while, and almost decided against it, until that Friday morning when my alarm went off for the sixth time and I said, the hell with it, I’m staying in bed. I slept in, and read in bed for the majority of the day. Not once did I even check work e-mail. It was exactly what I needed.

Of course this past Tuesday, I woke up with a sore throat, and I just thought, great, now I’m going to get sick. Wednesday I woke up with still a sore throat and the beginning of the sniffles. By Thursday, I started coughing and my nose was constantly running. I went and got some medicine, hoping to stop it.

No such luck. I didn’t want to use another sick day, so I forced myself to go to work. Once I had gotten there, I knew I should’ve just stayed home. I made it till lunchtime before I had enough and got the hell out of there. I was hacking up a lung and felt miserable and did not want to spread the germs to my coworkers.

I came home and crawled back into bed to sleep this off. Because while I have a whooping cough and a slight case of the sniffles, I’m really not that sick, I’m more under the weather. According to my Mother, you have to have a fever to be considered sick, at least sick enough to stay home from school or work. Its funny how her philosophy has stuck in my head.

I wasn’t sick by my Mother’s standard, I didn’t even feel worn down or achy. I was more annoyed by the fact that karma decided to play a joke on me. I am still coughing and waking up in the middle of the night cause I am having a coughing fit. If karma is going to pay me back, and least make me fever sick so that it’s worth it. Let me be fever sick so that my Mother will shine some sympathy on me and make me a bowl of tomato soup with some grilled cheese. Instead I had to make my own, but I didn’t burn the grilled cheese this time!

Manhunting

2007-10-13T19:33:00.001-04:00

Manhunting by Jennifer Cruise falls between trashy romance novels and regular old chick-lit. There wasn’t enough explicit sex for it to be trashy enough. I’m not sure if you would find this book in the romance aisle at the bookstore, but Harlequin, a classic trashy romance novel publisher, published this so it’s a tough choice on how to label this one.

Kate Svenson has been engaged three times already, and longs to be in a successful, stable relationship. She works as a business developer in her father’s firm and is looking for a man who is wealthy, successful and ambitious as her. Her ultimate goal would be for her significant other and her to start their own business together.

Her best friend suggests that Kate take a trip to a fancy resort where she can meet men that fit her plan. Of course there is Jake Templeton, who works as a handy man on the resort. He is ruggedly handsome and determined to never have a real job ever again. After working in the rat race and being burnt out, he came home and helped his younger brother start up the resort. He is not looking for any responsibility and after being divorced, never wants to get married again.

Obviously these two fall for each other. And neither one is willing to sacrifice their principles for the other. So instead they become miserable until it is too much to bear and eventually both compromise to make the other happy.

I can’t decide if I would pick up another of Cruise’s books again. The entire plot was predictable along with the character’s reactions. Romance novels follow a typical format anyways, and this was pretty cookie cutter. I’m beginning to realize where I get my unrealistic ideas about love and romance. I have read way too many of these stories.

I think what really bothered me was at the end when Kate was willing to compromise everything that she ideally wanted in a husband because she fell in love with Jake. I’m sorry; I just don’t believe that love will conquer all. And we have these firm ideals of what we want for a reason. I guess that’s why the classification for this book is important to me. If this is a trashy romance novel than I can accept it for what it is, but if it’s supposed to be chick-lit, it needs to have a next level for me. Doesn’t have to be too deep, but still another level.

Ugh, ...

2007-10-10T22:40:00.000-04:00

Why is it only Wednesday? That is all.

Oh wait, best line I just heard on TV, "Beauty is just a light switch away!"

Man, I have to use this on someone.

It's Always About a Boy

2007-10-06T22:03:00.000-04:00

I am sitting here with a glass of red wine hoping to gain some insight about my current state of affairs. I’m hoping to find answers at the bottom of this glass. It may not be the best place to solve my problem, but it’s a start.

There is this boy whom I have known for three years or so. We have always been floating in and out of each other’s lives with nothing serious tying us together. In the beginning this arrangement suited us perfectly. When we were together we had a ton of fun and when I was apart from him, I still had fun. We have dated other people, I was in a serious relationship, and yet I always find myself running back into his arms.

He was the reason I put myself on lockdown and he is also the reason that I broke it. He gives me the highest highs but also the lowest lows. Just when I think I have finally walked away from him, he reappears and shatters whatever resistance I tried to build up against him. He is my Achilles heel, my biggest weakness, my drug I cannot get enough of. And when the high wears off and reality trickles back in, the withdrawal effects are painful and I have to wonder is it worth it.

We keep repeating this pattern and I’m trying desperately to change my behavior and not make the same mistakes. But he doesn’t make it easy for me. And I allow myself to get swept away and ignore the voice in my head that tells me to run and never look back. I know that something has to change. Either we progress and move forward or I stand firm in my decision to not let him back in. And if it becomes the latter than I cannot waver and must truly let him go. Because no one likes a broken record, and I hate being that girl.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

2007-10-05T14:52:00.000-04:00

I think I am finally all Harry Pottered out. Inconceivable you say, but its true. It has taken me over two months to finish Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. The first time I read this book I finished it in less than a week. I am still going to continue to read all the books in the series but at my own leisurely pace.

This marks the first book in the series where we are introduced to the majority of the key players. On Harry’s 11th birthday he finds out that he is a wizard and that a whole other world exists. He is ecstatic to learn that he will attend the famous Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry where he will learn to develop the skills to become a wizard. Harry also learns the truth about his parents being killed by Voldermort and that he is the only known person to survive the killing curse.

This book follows Harry’s first year at school and all the interesting people he encounters. He quickly befriends Ron Weasely and eventually they become friends with Hermione Granger. The book centers on them trying to find the Sorcerer’s Stone before it falls into the wrong hands.

Rowling sets up a lot of plot points that will eventually reveal itself in the future books. We learn that Harry’s Mother, Lily, died to protect him, which placed a protective charm over Harry. Professor Snape was a classmate of Harry’s Father, James, and Snape and James hated one another.

Most importantly we learn that Harry’s wand shares a core with Voldermort’s wand. As Mr. Ollivander states, “I think we must expect great things from you, Mr. Potter … After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things – terrible, yes, but great.”

Book one is a good introduction to the world of Harry Potter. Seriously, if you haven’t read this series yet, now is a perfect time to start.

Books in Movie Form

2007-10-02T22:57:00.000-04:00

I touched briefly upon this in my last post about whether or not I see a movie first and then read a book, I tend to go with my first impression, and I started to think, is that always true? Have there been instances where I’ve read the book, saw the movie and then thought the movie did a better job or vice versa? So I did a mental rundown of all the various books-turned-into-movies, where I have read and seen the movie and tried to figure out which one I enjoyed more.

Generally speaking, I believe books are far superior to their movie counterpart. When I read a book, I begin to picture the characters in my head and their lives act out in my imagination and I become a part of the story. I find that if I see a movie first, when I read the book, I’m no longer visualizing the character myself, but picturing the actor who played that character, and using the scenes from the movie as my backdrop. But there have been times for me where the movie has done an excellent job capturing the soul of a book and stimulates my imagination further.

So here’s a fun list of books vs movies:

The Devil Wears Prada
I read this book in anticipation for the movie, and I thought the movie did a better job than the book. I’m a huge fan of fashion (although I’ve had my “what not to wear” moments) and seeing the many gorgeous outfits on Anne Hathway was a fashionista’s orgasmic dream. I seriously wanted every article of clothing that came on screen. The actual book itself was ok and had a darker tone than the movie. But to me, the movie was all about the clothes and that won in my eyes.

The Da Vinci Code
This booked kicked ass and the movie was eh. I read the book first and could not put it down. I admit, the book was a bit of a far stretch, not even about the whole Christ was married factor, but just the ridiculousness of some of the scenarios that occurred. I felt like every chapter had to top the next chapter in suspense, and that to me got old. Besides that, the book goes into so much more detail and offers such a compelling story, and the movie couldn’t encompass all that in the film. And I really couldn’t picture Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon. He just didn’t fit the part to me.

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Ok, so I’ve only ever read 1.5 books out of this trilogy. I’m halfway through The Two Towers, and I just can’t finish it. Every time I try, I have to start from the beginning again because I can’t remember what happened, and then I get discouraged at the thought of having to start when I’m already 300 or so pages in so I just leave the book on the shelf and think, perhaps another time. For those of you who know me in real life, know my absolute love all The Lord of the Rings movies. I own the extended version for all three and am always trying to sucker people to watch the movies with me. The entire series is visual stunning and did a far better job of creating Middle Earth than I could. Peter Jackson did such a kick ass job with this and deserves his Oscar and I hope he brings The Hobbit (I read that one) to film.

The Harry Potters
Of course I love the books more than the movies, but I think the movies are just as good. I’m in the midst of reading the first book again, and came upon the scene where Snape confronts Quirrell and I realized that I always associated this scene with how the movie portrays it. In the movie, Harry catches them while he’s under his invisibility cloak in the hallway of the school, but in the book, Harry is putting away his broom and notices Snape sneaking off to the Forbidden Forest and follows him on his broom. That to me just proves how much of an impact the movies have.

The Godfather
I can’t remember if I’ve read the book first or saw the movie. Both the book and the movie are my all-time favorites. Mario Puzo knows how to tell a gripping story and he wrote the screenplay so the movie is very close to the book. Both the movie and book are just elegantly done. I can watch the movie and read the book over and over again. The movie is a classic and all other mafia movies pale in comparison.

I could go on and on, but those are the movies vs books that really stick out in my mind. If I think of more, I’ll continue to add to this list.

The Nanny Diaries

2007-09-30T13:09:00.000-04:00

After seeing the movie, The Nanny Diaries, I decided to pick up the book and read it. It was written by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus, who both once worked in the child- care industry. Supposedly, allegedly they state that this book is a work of fiction, but I bet a lot of what happened in this book occurred in real life to them.

Nanny (that is her actual name) works for the X’s. Mrs. X does not work, but needs a full-time nanny to raise her son Grayer. Mr. X is constantly working and doesn’t care about the family waiting for him at home. Nanny is stuck in the middle trying to uplift Grayer’s spirit while working to make Mrs. X realize that her son needs his mother.

Nanny knows that this family is abusing her, but she can’t bear to leave Grayer alone to fend for himself with these people. She sees the special little person that Grayer is and wishes that his parents could do the same. So she continues to work for the X’s while trying to maintain a sense of herself in all of this.

Normally whatever I do first (reading book first and then seeing moving or vice versa), I tend to go with my first impression. So I actually liked the movie version of this book better than the book. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed this book, but I felt the movie captured the essence of the book better.

I particularly liked the ending of the movie. As most light-hearted movies do, the story wraps up nicely with a happy ending. The book is more realistic and doesn’t wrap everyone’s lives so nicely. I’m sure if I read the book first, I would be saying the book was way better than the movie.

The movie also showcases my dreamy new boyfriend, Chris Evans. He is so delicious and I could devour him in one single bite. There is this one scene in the movie where he is wearing a baseball cap and he looks so freaking hot. My eyes seriously glazed over from all of his yumminess. Where was I?

Oh yes, book was good, I liked the movie better.

Random End of Quarter Meme

2007-09-25T20:28:00.000-04:00

As my friend Matt says, "Its always the end of the quarter when I talk to you." Perhaps if you called me more than once every three months, it wouldn't be the end of the quarter. If you haven't guess, its the end of the quarter. Yay me. Here is a random meme type thing.

MY STORY.

Hi, my name is: Kimberly

but you can call me: Kim

Never in my life have I: gone skydiving, but I really want to

The one person who can drive me nuts is: my mother

My high school was: Paint Branch

When I’m nervous: I talk really really really fast

The last song I listened to was: Hate that I love you by Rihanna featuring Ne-Yo

If I were to get married right now it would be to: Chris Evans – the hottie from Nanny Diaries and Fantastic Four

My hair is: black, but I’m getting the itch to color it again, maybe a nice dark eggplant like color

When I was 4: I sucked my thumb

Last Christmas: I got a new mattress. This year I have decided to embrace the holiday spirit

I should be: doing work for the end of the quarter

When I look down I see: stack of executed quotes that I refuse to file

The happiest recent event was: having an entire night of uninterrupted sleep

If I were a character on ‘Friends’: I’d be Rachel cause I’m not a neat freak like Monica

By this time next year: I hope to be either in a new job or at least in a new position within my company

My current gripe is: that stupid cat that I’m cat sitting, he is keeping me awake at night

I have a hard time understanding: what Heidi sees in Spencer (watch The Hills)

There’s these girls: that I love to death and who are my best friends in the whole wide world

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: my rents and Best Friend Ever

I want to buy: a condo (I’ll update that one when I know for sure!)

Where do you plan to visit: hopefully San Diego in March

If you spent the night at my house: you’d have to fight JP for the pull out sofa

The world could do without: inconsiderate people

Your best friend in elementary school was: Lisa and Emily

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: a ring and necklace from New York and Co

Most recent thing someone else bought me: SoCo and lime shots

My middle name is: Jean (like your pants)

In the morning I: reset my alarm so that I can sleep in

Last night I was: playing with my pussies (cats you pervert!)

There’s this guy I know who: I wish would be my boyfriend and if not that, than leave me the hell alone

If I was an animal I’d be a: one of my Mom’s pets cause she treats them better than her own children

A better name for me would be: Bookworm that hearts Harry Potter

Tomorrow I am: pretending to work an 8 hour day while really playing on the interweb

Tonight I am: going to bed early

My birthday is: Feb 28 bitches!

What a Pussy!

2007-09-23T15:23:00.000-04:00

Somehow I got suckered into cat sitting for a friend of mine. She is in medical school along with Best Friend Ever, and her current rotation is in Hawaii (lucky bitch). So she asked if I wouldn’t mind taking care of her cat, Jean Pierre, aka JP, aka Peepers. Me being the dumb ass that I am said that I would love to and was all excited for Weasley to have a new playmate.

Jean Pierre, aka JP, aka Peepers

Man, am I stupid. Peepers is the exact opposite of Weasley. While Weasley is sweet and loving, Peepers is the devil incarnate. The first few days that he was here Peepers hissed and tried to scratch me and at nights he would walk around the apartment meowing and whining. And when I would go comfort him, he’d again hiss at me.

Not only is he mean spirited, but he’s also fat and lazy. This fucker weighs 20lbs! He’s twice the size of Weasley and makes Weasley look like a cute, little, dainty kitten next to his monstrous size. He sure likes his eats.

An aerial view of his fatness

I have never once seen JP clean himself. Weasley is constantly licking himself and making sure his fur is nice and soft. The first time Jean Pierre allowed me to pet him his hair was so nappy and sticky. It was gross. I tried to brush him, and of course the hissing starts. And he sheds like a bitch too.

For the most part the boys get along. They like to chase each other around the place, but one night it ended in a fight. Peepers has lived with dogs before so he plays rough and is more aggressive than my little guy. His nails are also killer sharp daggers. I think the boys were running around, and Peepers swatted at Weasley. The Wease must’ve swatted back, and all of the sudden I hear screeching and poor Weasley is pinned under JP. I hit Peepers with a book, but he continues to chase Wease around the place. The Weasley was ok, more shaken up than anything, but I did find a few scratches on his face.

The boys kissing and making up

I was about ready to drop stupid Peepers off at his own place, but the animal lover in me felt bad because I knew he’d be by himself with only someone checking in on him every other day. So I’ve decided to give this fat guy another chance, but if he fights with Weasley again he’s outta here. I did get his nails trimmed this weekend so if they do play again, he won’t be able to hurt anyone.

Cat in a box, Weasley's new hiding place

I’m stuck with Peepers until the end of October and it cannot get here soon enough for me. Having him here has confirmed my decision to remain a one-cat-woman. No crazy cat lady for me. Thank god.

Poor Gus Fiona

2007-09-19T23:36:00.000-04:00

I feel as if I have been running into a bit of bad luck lately. I’m not sure what karma god I have pissed off, but I need to figure out how to make amends because man the hits keep on coming!

My yesterday started off as usual. I woke up 30 minutes before my alarm went off and since I haven’t been sleeping well decided that I needed another 45 minutes of sleep. So what has become a bad habit, I reset my alarm and got the extra sleep that I so desperately needed.

After getting dressed, I open up my blinds to let the morning sunshine in, and I notice a big pick-up truck with a hitch attached that is carrying another car. The pick-up truck is backing the hitch into a spot and I think, looks like I’m getting a new neighbor above me. After several attempts the hitch and attached car in a spot while the truck itself is jutting out in the middle of the parking lot.

As I leave my apartment and lock my door, the main door to my apartment is being held propped open with a box. I pass a guy in the hallway as I make my way to my car. I’m running late since I decided to sleep in, so I just throw all my shit into my car and get behind the wheel.

I put the key in the ignition, put the car in reverse and back up like I normally do, forgetting that the front of the truck is in the middle of the lot. I’m almost out of my spot when I hear a CRUNCH, and all I can think is FUCK ME. I just backed into my neighbor’s fucking parked car, and I didn’t even look behind me when I was backing up.

Gus Fiona with her smushed rear

Soooo fucking pissed at myself. This is so not what I need right now. And I’m sure this isn’t what my new neighbor needs on their first day in the community. I apologize profusely and my new neighbor was very nice and sweet about it. Her father, whose car I hit, wasn’t so nice, which he has every right I suppose, but geez, you don’t have to be a complete dickhead about it (his car is brand new).

A close-up of her smushed bum

My car suffered the brunt of the damage with my rear passenger side bumper pushed back in. She’s looks like she drank a little too much at prom and fell face first into a doorknob. She looks a bit sad and is embarrassed to show off her rear end now.

The victim's car. Notice the small dent compared to my crunched bottom.

I feel like I'm having a Sliding Doors moment. If only I had just gotten up on time instead of sleeping in, I could have avoided this accident entirely. They arrived ten minutes prior to my leaving for work. If I had left on time, I never would have encountered them. A part of me is wondering how my day would have turned out if I had done that. Oh well.

Gus Fiona (that’s her name BTW) was so close to making it to her first birthday unscathed. I swear my family has a curse with new cars. So now I need to get her fixed, which will come very close to my $500 deductible and my insurance will pay for his damages (a dent and some scratches). I do not have the money for this right now. I guess its back to dancing on a pole on the weekends. Le sigh.

A Three Dog Life

2007-09-17T20:59:00.000-04:00

A Three Dog Life is a memoir by Abigail Thomas, which chronicles the after math of her husband’s accident. One fateful night while walking their dog, a car hits Rich as the dog escapes from his leash. Rich suffers a traumatic brain injury that leaves him with no short-term memory, hallucinations and rages. Thomas must learn to cope with a husband who is never really there and rebuild her to these new circumstances.

Man, I really like sad memoirs. Just like The Year of Magical Thinking, this book is about a woman who suffers a great tragedy and recounts the years following the event. Unlike Didion, whose husband died, Thomas’s husband has no memory of yesterday and can only function in the here and now. As she states,
“I miss my husband. I miss the company of living with this man I loved
and trusted absolutely … Walking down our street I missed him by my side.
The past gets swallowed up in the extraordinary circumstances of now.
But mostly it hurts too much to let my mind go back.”
He may be physically alive and present, but he isn’t always functional at times scared and confused to where he is or what happened to him.

This book is a really quick read and while very emotional isn’t as gut wrenching to me as Didion’s was. Thomas has become accepting of her life and the terrible accident with Rich. She declares, “Rich is necessary to my happiness; I love the person he is now, I love who I am when I’m with him, and I can sometimes hold these two truths in my head at once: I wish he were whole, and I love my life.” It is liberating to read those words. It makes me hopeful. It opens doors to a whole realm of different possibilities in life. I didn’t feel sad after reading this book, more inspired.

On a Side Note Pt 9 ...

2007-09-13T22:19:00.000-04:00

Aww geez, I have so many thoughts running through my head, but not enough time to put them down. I hate when life rushes past me without giving me a moment to catch up. I hate when life becomes one big to-do list and all I want to do is crunch up that list and punt the shit out of it to the endzone (I have the MD v West Virginia game in the background and MD is getting the poopie shit kicked out of them. So much for my "Fear the Turtle" war cry, which sounds like a dying turtle, but its really scary!)

Whenever my life gets like this, I get insomnia and spend most of my night tossing and turning. Or I get the same recurring nightmare where I know I'm sleeping and I'm screaming to myself to wake up, but my mind won't let me get up until the dream is over. When I finally am able to wake up, I'm scared, I have to turn on my light and I can't sleep the rest of the night because I'm afraid I'll have the same nightmare again. This week I have had it twice!

So needless to say, I'm a bit stressed right now, cranky, moody, all around grumpy. Hopefully I'll get a chance this weekend to write it all down and process all the emotions that are running through me.

The House of Mondavi

2007-09-09T22:09:00.000-04:00

I normally don’t read non-fiction, but when I saw House of Mondavi: The Rise and Fall of an American Dynasty by Julia Flynn Siler I had to pick it up. I love Mondavi wines! When I’m in the wine store, Mondavi is my go to wine. So I was interested in reading about how this family became known as America’s “first family” of wine.

The Mondavi family started off with simple roots with Cesare Mondavi emigrating from Italy slowly making his way out West. The background of their family reminds me of The Godfather, with Cesare as The Don. He was well respected within the Italian community, with families coming to Cesare for advice. I’m kept waiting for him to say, “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

Cesare eventually purchased the Charles Krug winery with the hopes of his two sons Robert and Peter running the winery. But of course personalities crashed with Robert and Peter, and Robert was forced out of the family business.

Robert didn’t let the firing stop him from pursuing his love of winemaking and bought his own winery naming it after himself. Robert was driven to make Mondavi number one and to put California wines on the map. During that time period of the early 70’s, California wine was still considered table wine while restaurants only served the fine quality wines from France. Robert intended to change the image of California-produced wine to rival France.

Pretty soon Mondavi was Synonymous with Napa Valley and was one of the leading wine sellers. But history repeated itself with the feuding of Robert’s offspring Michael and Timothy. While Michael believed in expanding the popular Mondavi brand, Timothy believed that Mondavi should focus on producing high-quality wines instead of stretching its resources thin. You can guess the outcome of what’s to happen.

Siler starts from the beginning of the Mondavi’s simple roots to the bitter end when Mondavi was involved in a hostile takeover. Currently there are no family members running the corporation and the Mondavi’s no longer own their name, selling it off during the takeover.

It’s an intriguing story of brother versus brother, hell even at times sons versus father. I’m amazed at Robert’s drive and ambition to become one of the leading brands of wine even at times surpassing French wines. It was also sad to see the family lose the company that they built from the ground up.

The story can be confusing at times to follow since there are so many players involved, but overall it was an enjoyable read. I found the whole wine making process fascinating. Siler gives a good groundwork of the history of Napa Valley and America’s contribution to the wine industry. I’ve been to Napa Valley before and cannot remember for the life of me if I stopped at Robert Mondavi, but the next time I’m in that area, I will be sure to stop now that I know the family history.

A Quiet Night In vs Party Like a RockStar

2007-09-08T22:06:00.001-04:00

After the last three weekends of partying my ass off, I just need a weekend to relax, unwind and detox my body from all the alcohol and fatty foods that I have been feeding it.

Kiah, me, Jessie
I must admit I’ve had a blast these last few weekends. Its been awhile since I’ve let loose and drank and danced the night into the wee hours of the morning. I felt like I was back in college or my early days at working in promotions at the radio station. I forgot how much fun DC can be and that there is tons of night spots to hit up.

Larry, me
Mentally, I sometimes feel like I’m a lot older than I really am. So it was good to go out and remind myself that I am a young, vivacious, fun, bee-yoo-ti-ful, twenty-something and that I can still drop it like its hot with the best of them. There is nothing better than being on the dance floor, hearing the beat of your favorite song, swaying your hips, arms swinging in the air, lost in the moment. It’s even better when you’re with a group of your favorite people, laughing and enjoying each other’s company.

some guy, me
But I also love nights like this where I have nothing planned and can sit back and loosen up. Maybe I’ll chill in front of the TV or lay in bed reading my book. Or perhaps I’ll do some baking or spend some quality time with the Weasley. Maybe if I'm feeling adventerous, I'll get to do a bit of everything and actually go to bed early!

Either way its nice to have those fun filled crazy nights where I don't get home till 5am and nights like these where I can de-stress from the week and get some much needed me time.

On a Side Note Pt 8 ...

2007-09-08T17:56:00.000-04:00

My good friend recently proposed to his girlfriend. The other day he sent an e-mail asking for my first, last name, address and name of date ASAP! My first thought was damn, when is the wedding. My second thought was damn, I don't have a date! I e-mailed him back asking when the wedding was and he replied May/June of 2008. I told him that if he was giving me a +1, than I'll be damned sure I find a date.

So now the pressure is on for me to find a date for this wedding. I know May/June of 2008 seems far enough away, but with my track record of dates, it could very well take me that long to find a suitable date. I can always rely on a back-up date, but I really would like to go to a wedding with someone with whom I'm actually dating! It doesn't seem that hard right? Don't answer.

Restless Nights

2007-09-03T21:29:00.000-04:00

I have been feeling a bit anxious about this whole process of buying a new home. I met with my realtor on Thursday, and she is freaking awesome! Best Friend Ever used her when she was in the market for a new home and had nothing but great things to say about her. So when I met with Wendy (my realtor) I felt very positive and was looking forward to view some condos on Sunday.

Sunday rolls around and I was tired and hungover from the night before (I was out till 5am partying it up. Man, that's three weekends in a row that I have been partying my ass off. Yay me!). We were able to fit in a bunch of different places in Rockville and Gaithersburg. There were at least 4-5 properties that caught my eye and I could really envision myself living there.

I know its only been my first weekend of looking and that it can take a person months to find the right place, but I really don't want this to be a drawn out process. I would prefer to be in my new home before the onset of cold weather. So I'm hoping to find a condo within the next few weeks. I'm just ready to be out of my apartment, but I need to find a home first.

My biggest decision is whether I want to continue living in Rockville or move up to Gaithersburg. I've been living in Rockville for the past three years and I love it. I'm 20 minutes from Virginia and DC and I feel like Rockville is a great center point. But my choices are limited in Rockville about what I can afford, and I need to be realistic. In Gaithersburg I could afford a two-bedroom/two-bath condo for the same amount of a one-bedroom in Rockville. So do I go for a bigger unit with more square footage or an area that resells well and closer in to the city?

My preference would be to stay in Rockville, but only if its a great unit that is affordable and in a good neighborhood. I'm so wishy-washy, going back and forth over the pros and cons of each city. I keep reminding myself that this is only my first weekend of looking, so I don't need to make any drastic decisions just yet, but I'm antsy and feeling restless over it all.

I'm trying to enjoy this process and not fast forward to the end, but its hard for me. I'm stil bitter about losing the first place so its making me very weary of this whole experience. I've been up all night stressing about this. I need to not take it so seriously.

Ugh, le sigh. End of pity party.

My Sad Little Top 25

2007-08-30T00:03:00.000-04:00

I’m still been in a funk ever since my bad news from last week. I’m trying my hardest to not let all the negative emotions get the best of me and remain positive throughout all of this. It just blows because I should be closing tomorrow if everything went according to plan. But I am meeting with my realtor tomorrow to start the whole process all over again. I know the situation isn’t hopeless and that I will find a place that I love as much as the last place. It just wasn’t meant to be (although I feel like shit like this has been happening a lot lately to me).

Instead of writing about how woe is me and indulging in a pity party, I am giving you my top 25 songs played on my iTunes. I never really noticed that feature on my iTunes until the other night and out of curiosity clicked to see what songs I choose to play over and over again. Mind you I am the biggest teenybopper I know, so please don’t make fun of me as you read this.

25) Ain’t It Funny – Jennifer Lopez featuring Ja Rule
Hahaha, I never realized how much I love this song until I saw it on my list. Its got a great beat that you can shake your booty to, and I love that she’s singing about a stupid boy who realized too late that he wanted her, but now can’t have her. Sweet revenge.

24) Water Runs Dry – Boyz II Men
Man, this song brings me back to high school and college with my first serious relationship. I was trying so hard to salvage it and this song spoke volumes to me. I didn’t want the water to run dry on our relationship and stayed with him for much longer than I should have. Its so funny how caught up you can get in a relationship.

23) I Gotta Be – Jagged Edge
I’m such a sucker for sappy love songs. My favorite line in this song is “Don’t want to make a scene/I really don’t care if the people stare at us/Sometimes I think I’m dreamin.” Actually I love the entire song.

22) Girlfriend – NSYNC featuring Nelly
The first of many NSYNC songs, I’m sure. I think this may be their first cross over song of NSYNC’s showing their growing popularity and street cred (Did I really just write that?). This was pre Lance Bass coming out and Justin Timberlake embarking on a very successful solo career. But I still heart JC.

21) Free – Mya
Such a girl anthem; this song is all about being single and free and not needing no man to make you happy. I always play this song before I’m going out to get me all hyper and pumped for the evening.

20) Open Arms – Journey
I’m actually surprised that this song is in my top 25. Out of all the Journey song’s, I would assume that Don’t Stop Believing would be on here. Strange.

19) Build My World – JC Chasez
Out of all the NYSNCers I believe that JC has the best voice. Granted, Justin has his falsetto, but it can grate on my nerves if he sings too long with it. Another sappy romantic love song and really shows the range in JC’s voice.

18) Holla Back Girl – Gwen Stefani
Again, another surprise song on my list. I never realized I played this song so much. I used to ridicule it so much when it first came out. It does have a good beat and is a great song to run to, so perhaps that’s why its so high on my list.

17) Closer – Goapele
This song is off the Honey soundtrack. Its got a nice, smooth, slow jazzy beat. I remember going to the premiere of this movie and dancing in the parking lot with my girls Shama and Kiah. We wanted to come up with a dance routine for our upcoming Jingle Ball. Good times.

16) Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know – Britney Spears
Classic Britney before she became the train wreck that she is now. This is before the head-shaving, before her two failed marriages, hell this is even before she was with a Mr. Timberlake. Favorite line, “Your body language says so much/I see it in the way we touch.”

15) Miss You – Aaliyah
She died way too soon. She was at the pinnacle of her career when her plane crashed. I bet if she were still alive today, she would be producing great music. This song is for any ex-boyfriend I have ever missed.

14) I Thought She Knew – NSYNC
Second NSYNC song. Again, surprised this one is so high, since its not one of my favorites. Maybe I just like the vocals?

13) I Wanna Be Bad – Willa Ford
I’m embarrassed that this is even on my iTunes. But I obviously like this song. Whatever happened to her?

12) Nice And Slow – Usher
This is such a great before sex song. It gets you right in the mood for some good loving. Enough said.

11) Shiver – Maroon 5
One of my favorite Maroon 5 songs. It’s about going after someone that’s unattainable, and doing anything necessary to get that person. You’re so infatuated with that person that the mere thought of them makes you shiver. My favorite verse “I shudder when I hear your name/I think about you/but its not the same/Won’t be satisfied till I’m under your skin”

10) Some Girls(Dance With Women) – JC Chasez
This was his first single off his debut solo album. I like dancing to it and imagining him watching me (Pervy much?)

9) Boys – Britney Spears
And she makes the countdown a second time. This used to be my ring tone, that’s how much I loved this song. Sometimes a girl just needs a boy to play with.

8) Iris – Goo Goo Dolls
Sappy romantic love song. Whenever I’m feeling lonely or depressed, playing sappy love songs keep me in that melancholy mood that I want to be it. Its kind of a self-torture that I inflict upon myself. This really is a sweet, loving song.

7) I’m Good – Blaque
Another girl power song about being good without a man in their lives. I think more women artists need songs like this to show women out there that a man doesn’t complete their lives, and that they are just as fine without one.

6) Pump It – Black Eyed Peas
Great beat, great tempo, great workout song. This is the first song on my workout play list and always pumps me up for a strong session.

5) Dear Goodbye – JC Chasez
Wow, he’s on here a third time! This song is about saying goodbye to a boyfriend and knowing that sometimes its better to just walk away than try to be together even if you still love that person. No one’s really to blame, you two just weren’t meant to be.

4) Bootylicious – Destiny’s Child
“I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly!’ may be one of the best lines in all of music history. Another booty shaking song that I can dance silly to.

3) Bringin Da Noise – NSYNC
OMG, why is this song so high up my list? It’s freaking number 3 and again, not one of my favorites. No explanation.

2) Gone – NSYNC
I sure do like NSYNC. This truly deserves to be this high. JT looks so freaking hot in this video and sings this song all by his lonesome. You just knew he was ready to be solo when he performed this.

1) I’m A Slave For You – Britney Spears
My all-time favorite Britney song. She looked fantabolous in this video. Where did she go? I miss this Britney. She needs to come back.

And that’s my top 25. A few notes here:

- I have not updated my iTunes in ages hence no recent songs on here like SexyBack or Lost Without you – Robin Thicke

- My play list reads like it’s coming from an 11 year old. I really need better taste in music.

- I really need better taste in music

- And once more with feeling, I really need better taste in music.

Shocking News

2007-08-26T20:31:00.000-04:00

Last Thursday was a very shitty day for me. I got some really upsetting news. The developer of my condo called me to inform me that they would be canceling the contract on my new condo. I was at work, when she called me. When she first told me the news, I did a double take and asked if she was joking. Unfortunately she was not.

I was in complete shock when she started to explain the situation to me. Originally I was supposed to be closing this upcoming Thursday, but the developer called me two weeks ago notifying me that they would be pushing my settlement date to September 18. When I asked why, she gave me some bullshit excuse about needing internal approvals on their end and with people being on vacation it wouldn’t happen right away. So we rescheduled everything and I was annoyed that they waited two weeks before I was to settle to tell me this. But I didn’t think anything was wrong or thought to question further.

I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be closing in two weeks, but just sucked it up and rescheduled my moving date and took a break from all the packing. When I got the call about terminating my contract I was devastated. Apparently the current developer is being sold to another development company and the new development company has decided to keep the units as rentals instead of converting them into condos. And there is a clause in my contract that they can cancel without notice prior to closing. So they are in their legal rights to pull the rug from under me, but it doesn’t ease the pain, hurt and rage that I am feeling.

I was livid on the phone. I kept saying “Unacceptable” and come September 30, I won’t have a place to live since I have given notice to my leasing office. The developer’s compensation for me is that I can rent the exact unit that I wanted to purchase at my current rent with one month’s rent-free. OMG, I’m jumping up and down at this exciting opportunity for me. Instead of purchasing a place that I fell in love with, I can lease it for a year with a clause that I can break my lease at any moment! What a slap in my face. They have got to be fucking kidding me that I would be happy with this option.

I also brought up the point that they knew this could happen two weeks ago and why wasn’t I informed of this turn of events when they postponed my closing. Their answer was that they thought the new developer would still move forward with all the current contracts. I pointed out that if they had told me this could happen two weeks ago, I could have cancelled my contract and made new plans, but no, I thought everything was ok and that I would still be closing on my new home. I wasted two weeks by not looking for something else. These motherfuckers won’t even compensate me for my moving deposit or my $475 application fee for my mortgage. I seriously think they should reimburse me for that and more!

Luckily I won’t be homeless at the end of September. As tempting (can you sense my sarcasm) as their offer sounds about renting my dream home, I called my leasing office and found out that my apartment has not been rented out yet, so I just cancelled my notice to move out. There is no way in hell I would move there after the shady tactics and the way they treated me.
I am so angry. Yesterday I had a mini-breakdown where I kept screaming and wanting to punch the shit out of my walls, but the walls and my poor hands don’t deserve that. Tears were raining down my face and I just felt so helpless and defeated. Out of all the things that could happen like not being approved for a loan, I never expected this. I never thought in my wildest dreams that my contract would be terminated. I was so looking forward to moving and decorating my new home. In my mind I was already living there. It’s a huge disappointment that I won’t be doing that now.

I know that everything happens for a reason and that fate has intervened for some reason, but it’s really hard for me to see the bright side of this right now. Everyone keeps telling me that this place wasn’t meant to be and I’ll find a new home that’s even better than the last one. And I’m sure they are right, but it’s hard not to be discouraged about the whole thing. I really am trying to keep a positive attitude and not allow my negative thoughts to take over. I just fell in love with that condo and I was so close to moving into it. I’m just afraid that I won’t find a place where it just felt perfect like this place did.

Being Committed

2007-08-25T18:02:00.000-04:00

After my high from reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows it was really hard for me to get engrossed in another book. I kept browsing the shelves in the library picking up various books, but never getting quite far into them. I’d read a few chapters and the words couldn’t get my attention so I’d be done with it.

I finally picked up a book that didn’t bore me. Its called Being Committed by Anna Maxted. I liked the premise of the book. A woman gets proposed to by her boyfriend and instead of being happy and jubilant, she breaks up with him for wanting to get married. Can we say commitment issues? (BTW, I have such commitment issues, so I figured I could relate)

Hannah realizes that she has made a huge mistake and decides she wants her boyfriend Jason back. Jason says that he will only take her back if Hannah agrees to work out her issues with her ex-husband Jack. Turns out Hannah has been married before when she was a lot younger and it ended in divorce. Jason believes this is where her commitment-phobia stems from.

Hannah is emotional detached from others and has a hard time maintaining important relationships within her life. But she is willing to try for Jason. They have been together for five years and since he can put up with her, than it must be love.

She gets in touch with her ex-husband, Jack and apologizes for the way their marriage crumbled. He opens her eyes to certain truths about her life and forces her to get to the root of her problems.

Eh, the book was ok. I liked the spin of it being a woman scared of being in a serious relationship instead of the man. But Hannah’s character just wasn’t very likeable. There was nothing about her that made me want to root for her. Even Jason and Jack weren’t that likeable either. Jason seemed like a spineless, whiny man who put up with a shitty relationship for five years. And Jack was a pig-headed, emotional asshole that would be downright mean to Hannah. I don’t see what she saw in either one of them, and I have no idea what they saw in her.

Farewell RockStar!

2007-08-19T14:33:00.000-04:00

My dear friend Kiah is shaking things up and moving to the West Coast. She leaves this Monday and will be driving cross country, stoping along the way to visit various cities and friends. I'm so sad to see her go, but am so excited for her because I know this is what she has wanted to do for some time and am proud of her decision to follow through.

Kiah and I became friends while working as part-time promotions assistants for HOT 99.5. We had so much fun going to concerts, movie premieres, and clubs. Eventually both of us secured full-time positions within the company.

Throughout our 3+ years of friendship, I can say that Kiah is one of my favorite people in the world. Anytime we hang out together we always have a blast filled with laughter and great conversation. She has introduced me to such things as Dane Cook, The Junkies, and had tried to increase my appreciation of music that isn't bubble gum pop. We have shared a love of Justin Timberlake, Robin Thicke and great food and wine. I have tried to impart on her my obsessions with Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings. (We never did have our Lord of the Rings movie marathon)

I am truly going to miss Kiah and our adventures at Ocean Shitty, White Water Rafting, our birthday celebrations and random parties. I am going to miss Kiah's laid back, care free attitude, honest opinions and zeal for life. Luckily for me, she is moving to the Bay Area where my brother also lives so I can visit them both. So its not goodbye, just farewell for now. And I promise to see you soon.

Enjoy the photo montage that I created for Ms. Jones.

On a Side Note Pt 7 ...

2007-08-18T11:28:00.000-04:00

I have an addiction that has gotten out of hand. It all started innocently enough. A friend of mine mentioned it to me and told me to check it out. So I did. No big deal, nothing I couldn't handle. But slowly I found myself thinking about it more often than not, and I also caught myself looking at it during work hours. I started to tell others about it so that they may enjoy it not even realizing these people were giving me looks of shock. And yesterday was the worst. Instead of being productive at work, I spent at least 4 hours of my day staring at these websites, not even hiding it from my boss. He walked by me at least three times and I was so engrossed in them that I hardly noticed a word he said to me. It's so embrassaing to admit, but I was on:

All freaking day!!!! I have a problem, I know this. Its a sick, sick addiction and I need to be in rehab for this. I mean, I didn't care who saw me yesterday. I didn't even try to hide it. Usually if I'm looking at these websites at work, I minimize the screen anytime someone walks by me, but yesterday I was flaunting it. I'm worried. Even right now, I want to click on the links and spend my Saturday afternoon it cute animal bliss. And starting on Monday, Stuff on my cat will be posting a new picture on the hour, every hour! I won't get anything done at work! I'm in desperate need of an intervention

Fate & Destiny, Destiny & Fate

2007-08-13T23:21:00.000-04:00

I am a firm believer in fate and destiny. I believe that fate intervenes in your life and that your destiny is right around the corner if you so choose it. It’s the Asian in me. Thai people are very superstitious and believe that your life has a path and the choices you make can lead you or deter you from your predestined course.

I don’t know if I would say I believe that my entire life is mapped out for me and irregardless of what choices I make, I will end up at my destiny. I do believe that perhaps certain things or events are destined to happen and that’s where fate comes along to guide me to make the proper choices to lead to my destiny. I firmly believe that you have to create your destiny and you’re in charge of how your life turns out.

So here is where my debate comes in. Growing up I used to think that if I didn’t act upon something, it wouldn’t happen. I couldn’t leave it to just fate; I had to make it happen. And I believed that if I didn’t act upon it, I lost my chance. I could never be patient and wait, I had to force things to happen because if I didn’t than who did?

Now that I’m a bit older, I’m not so quick to act rashly. I take a step back and question my motives behind my actions and sometimes think I should just let fate decide. But its so hard for me to sit back and not take an active role and just go with the flow. The little girl in me wants to charge blindly forward meeting life challenges head on; and the woman in me whispers its ok to not always be in control and to allow what may come be. For once in your life just sit still and acknowledge the quiet surrounding you and let fate lead you to your destiny.

It hard to train yourself after so many years of engrained thinking. It’s hard for me to sit back and not act, but I need to stop grasping for things that are too far out of my reach. I believe life has a plan for me and that good things do come to those who wait. I believe I have taken a few detours but fate has always guided me back and I’m supposed to be where I am right now.

I’m at the brink of entering a new phase in my life. I’m ready to embrace it and face the joys and challenges that lay ahead of me. Certain doors have closed, but new ones will open. I can let go of old memories and create new magical ones. I’m ready for chance to lead me to new discoveries and opportunities. That doesn’t mean I’ll always be a passenger and when fate throws me an opportunity, I’m not going to ignore it. I just want to sit back and enjoy the ride.